Various

“ The Diva is beaten and kicked by the savage Svengali (not in the presence of the audience) as if she were his slave, and he the brutal slave-driver. But, why this treatment, if he has only to hypnotise her in order to render her obedient to his slightest wish? It is, I suppose, considered necessary he should do so, in order to excite our compassion for his victim, the unfortunate Miss Trilby, and so to bring down upon him the just chastisement which is the immediate cause of his death. ”

“ The British Lady Football Club gave an exhibition game in Cardiff, and the inhabitants, says the South Wales Daily News, gathered in their thousands to witness the display, in which they were intensely interested. But—horribile dictu—whenever a fair footeress "came a cropper, the crowd, of course, shouted with glee"! Of course! When a recreant male sustains a fall, what expressions of tender solicitude burst from the sympathetic lady-spectator's lips! ”

“ As Sark says, "jollity not precisely the quality one associates with Joe." So the melody, after feebly fizzling round the tables, was drowned in burst of laughter.
Occasion was, as Don José remarked, first time he had publicly appeared in capacity of Minister for the Colonies. In every way a happy one. A gathering representing the uttermost corners of the Empire, each vying with the other in loyalty to Crown. New Secretary, with easy grace, rose to height of situation. ”

“ It must be remembered that the ordinary undergraduate only wears the clothes of civilisation for about half of every day. During the rest of the time he is to be found in the garb most appropriate to his athletic pursuits. In the case of a rowing man, these extend only to within six inches of his knees, and spectators have been heard to wonder how such large and heavy frames can be supported on so melancholy a deficiency of calves. ”

“ I spoke last week of the undergraduate in relation to his dog. This week I should like to say a few words of the undergraduate in relation to his clothes. It seems to be generally imagined that the undergraduate is addicted to dressing himself out in the smartest possible clothes for his daily stroll along King's Parade or the High. Nothing can be further from the fact. The error is probably due to those splendidly inaccurate descriptions of university life with which novel readers have been of late perplexed. ”

“ Paul Potter's undeniably clever end most effective play. But surely Svengali's diabolically jealous hatred of "Little Billee," his successful rival in the affections of Trilby (when unhypnotised) would be sufficient, motive for the brutal insult he inflicts on Miss O'Ferrall's faithful, but insignificant, little lover, and for which, at the hands of the strong man, Taffy, the fiend-like Svengali has to pay with his life. ”

“ I saw Dungarvan placarded in London, "terrible scenes at Dungarvan," and all the disgrace is brought on the town by one man, who, for a few shillings—and if it cost me my life I will put it down. Woe to the man who will continue to do it here. I saw him a pot-boy at the Monks' school, and I say——
Mr. O'Shea. If you refer to me, Mr. Ryan, the people of Dungarvan know me better and respect me better than they do you. I am better off than you. You have only a few shillings a week for minding the shop. ”

“ In this depressing weather it is always well to have something to be thankful for. My own special subject for gratitude is the cessation and final end of the Marlborough-Vanderbilt wedding. All these columns of matrimonial gush which have been arriving by mail and cable from America have been sufficient to make even a good man curse his fellow-man, and retire to some other planet. ”

“ In his pages there live once more for the world, seen in the borrowed but skilfully managed light of intimate personal acquaintance, figures whose memories are ever enshrined in the hearts of those who still from week to week gather round the old "Mahogany Tree." ”

“ From these it might be supposed that the undergraduate was in the habit of changing his clothes some six times a day merely for purposes of display, and of reserving his very smartest suit for the daily visit that he pays to the gorgeous gambling-hells which are, as we all know, to be found by the score in the suburban districts of Oxford and Cambridge.
As a matter of fact, the average undergraduate is, in matters of dress, the simplest of mankind. ”

“ It isn't Trilby, the hypnotised subject, but Svengali, the fearful "object," the dirty demoniac hypnotiser, on whom all eyes are fixed, and in whom the interest is centred. He is Shylock and Fagin, Mephistophelesized; he is as loathsome as Hyde without Jekyl; he is the Spirit of Evil in the story of the Devil's Violin; he is the haunting, cringing fiend in the Shadowless Man; he is, in fact, the very Deuce himself.
"O don't you remember sweet Alice, Ben Bolt," is the "old song" which, at first, Miss Trilby O'Ferrall "cannot sing," but which, when hypnotised by Satanical Svengali, she does sing ”

“ His cruisers mostly set out in fine weather, with swelling breeze, in the full sunshine of circumstance. Then comes a hitch, and there follow the most blood-curdling adventures that ever happened since men first began to go down to do business in the great waters. ”

“ The inner history of Punch is a subject that has ever had a fascination for the British public. Attempts, more or less futile, to gratify the desired acquaintance have been made at various times through the last thirty years. ”

“ We can understand an author of the name of "Dam" changing his name, or altering it to "Grandam," but that Jones, successful, jubilant Jones, should do this thing! Nay, by our halidom! Let us give H. A. J. our own immortal advice, which applies as well to a person about to change his name as to a person about to marry—"Don't!" ”

“ I arnsers 'im sharp. "Right!" sez 'e; "put a name to it!"
"Fog's thickenin' up, Sir," I sez. "If you're game to say—so-much—I'm on." And the old gent was game to it.
Fust we'd a liquor, and then 'e sez "Fireworks!" a-bossing 'is bundle with one heye a-glitter.
"Don't blow us up, Sir. I ain't got no licence to carry hexplosives," I sez with a titter.
"Young 'uns a-waiting at Tooting," 'e sez; "so drive sharp, and I won't be too tight on the pocket;
I do like a good firework frolic, with boys, though I blew this heye out—as a boy—with a rocket." ”

“ His great ideal is comfort, and as old clothes are naturally more comfortable than new, it is quite a common sight to see great Blues, presidents of clubs, shining lights of the river, the field, or the schools arrayed in Norfolk jackets, in trousers on which at least two winters have laid their defacing hand, and in shirts which, though of an immaculate cleanness, show evident signs of wear and tear in the cuff department. ”

“ They possess many millions, and it is perhaps natural that they should desire to celebrate the marriage of their daughter by spending some of their dollars on diamonds, rubies, gold, silver, and exotic flowers. ”

“ Q. And could not free trade for the colonies, as distinguished from protection applied to foreign countries, be successfully employed?
A. Such is the opinion of several Members of the Government.
Q. Has any other plan occurred to the patriotic statesman?
A. Yes; it has been believed that a general tax for the National Defence would be a bond of union between the colonies and the mother country.
Q. Does there not already exist a stronger tie than taxation?
A. Certainly. The Empire has a common friend, adviser, amuser, and instructor, beloved of all the world. ”

“ Just six minutes for the train! (Shouting at driver.) To the station—and drive like blazes!
Second E. Drive like Jehu!
Third E. (a wag) . "Drive" like W. G—hu! (Third E. promptly sat upon by his companions.) ”

“ Occasion important; list of guests comprehensive; all the Colonies represented, whilst Don José, home from historic Spain, happily typified the paternal British Lion glad to see its cubs around it. Walter Peace, Agent-General for Natal, is the Amphitryon—le véritable Amphitryon où l'on dîne. As Sark says, "With Peace in the Chair and Plenty on the table, what more can one desire?" ”

“ On Lord Salisbury's memorable Speech at the Lord Mayor's Banquet, November 9.—"Hope told a flattering tale."—Old Song.
Shakspeare in the City (adapted by Ex-Lord Mayor Renals) .—"Let us hear Barnato speak of this."—Hamlet, Act I., Sc. 1.
[pg 240]
OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.
Mr. Punch is obviously not the most fitting person to review his own history. It has been enough for him during the last fifty-four years to make it. But a word must be said in these columns of The History of Punch, just issued in a handsome volume by Messrs. Cassell & Co. Through four years Mr. ”