Various

“ Does Master "rid himself of the friendship of the many?"—the little Demon shakes a reef out of his tail and flies upwards, to return after a short flight of fancy. On occasions when Master has been reflecting comically and satirically on some of his attackers, or on his detractors, the volatile Imp literally shakes his sides with uncontrollable laughter, and can't stand upright for very mirth. ”

“ Partially dropping metaphor, it may be stated that a hitherto unknown lady emerges, like the planet, from a cloud under which, as the envious afterwards declare, the greater part of her previous existence has been spent. But Society, under the influence of boredom, is tolerant of new sensations and of those who seek to provide them. ”

“ In due course she arrives, she receives and is received, and she conquers. Henceforward her parties become one of the features of the Season. In rooms arranged tastefully in an Oriental style, with curtains, hangings, delicately worked embroideries, woven mats of charming design and tropical plants, she welcomes the throng who come at her invitation. She moves by degrees. ”

“ Old Morality, in his kind way, presses Beach's hand; has troubles of his own to bear; but a man who owns a public-house and draws only £20 a-year from it, takes precedence in sympathy.
Over stern conflict and cantankerous sitting, Plunket sheds beam of genial humour. Tim Healy asks if there could not be lift arranged to Ladies' Gallery. "Too expensive," says Plunket. "Too dear, he means," murmurs Howorth, who runs Dick Temple close in his devotion to the Ladies. "Why," objects George Campbell, whose eye nothing escapes, "there is already a lift for coal. Why not substitute Ladies for coal?" ”

“ But since the majority of them have come in search of health, they cannot despise or reject one who qualifies for consideration and interest by suffering, and who, to the piquancy of an unknown origin, adds the high recommendation of good looks—which are not too good—of a cheerful temper, and an easy tact, which can only come of much knowledge of many worlds. ”

“ I observed, "only a bat-eyed bargee, with the brains of a molluscous monkey, could fail to see the merits of Morion. Morion, it is well known, is an open helmet, but it doesn't follow from that that the Hunt Cup is an open event. Far from it. Visor, or no visor, those who elect to stand on Morion, need anticipate no trouble from anything else, for Morion is as certain to win the race as Mr. J. is to make a green-gooseberry fool of himself before another week is out." ”

“ J. Oh, you know the sort of thing the public likes—they'll want to know what sort of diggings you've got, how you dress when you're at home, and all that, how you write your books, now—you do write books, don't you? Thought so. Well, that's what the public likes. You see, your name's a good deal up just now—no humbug, it is though! Between ourselves, you know, I think the whole business is the balliest kind of rot, but they've got to have it, so there you are, don't you see. ”

“ Those who guard its portals are, in these latter days, bidden not to be over-curious in the inquiries they make of applicants for admission, and eventually it may come to pass that the approaches and avenues are opened as readily to one who comes trailing clouds of obscurity, as to her who shines with the steady lustre of acknowledged position. ”

“ They dance, they receive, they organise bazaars. They launch out into tea-parties, and grow warm over the discussion of scandals. They elect unto themselves leaders, and bow their foreheads to the dust before the golden splendour of an occasional scion of Royalty ”

“ The crass and pernicious dulness of some people exceeds belief. There exists at the office of this paper a person—he is absolutely unworthy of any other designation—who presumed last week to abstain from inserting in these columns the article to which the sporting millions of his fellow countrymen were looking for information with reference to the Ascot doings. ”

“ Her triumph culminates when she secures a deposed monarch and his consort. She is clever, and knows well that those whom she seeks to entice will overlook their own ignorance with regard to her if only they can be certain of being amused and interested in her house. ”

“ But those Irish Shylocks must have their pound of verbosity. Couldn't resist temptation of putting an extra question, even for certainty of defeating Government. When they're once started on subject of shadowing, they go off by the hour."
"Well, never mind," said Gorst; "you know it isn't the first time in history that men have sacrificed the substance for the shadow." ”

“ I expect you could tell me a lot more interesting things, only of course you've got to keep the best of 'em to put in your book—you are writin' a book or somethin', ain't you? Such heaps of fellows are writin' books nowadays, the wonder is how any of 'em get read. ”

“ Much-occupied men, who can only snatch here a moment and there a moment for reading, ought to be grateful to the inventors and the publishers of all handy books, meaning, says the Baron, books which are really handy, and which, without destroying the natural elegance of your figure or the set of your garments, you can carry comfortably and imperceptibly in your tail coat pocket. ”

“ How would a theatre succeed conducted on this plan, so that the same play should be produced on certain nights with a different cast? Here is Dan Drady, for example; he plays Escamillo, tragi-comedy, one night; another time he is the noble San Bris in Les Huguenots; another, he is Figaro the loquacious Barber of Seville; another, he is the devil-may-care gallant Don Giovanni; and, though best in serious parts, he is good in all of them. On other occasions, when Carmen is given, the cast will be changed; some other singer will represent Escamillo, or someone will replace Maggie as Mickie ”

“ Eventually she marries her daughter to the younger son of an Earl, and having made of the marriage festivities the great social function of the Season, she herself soon afterwards retires to some extent from the business of Society, and devotes herself chiefly to the cultivation of simple pleasures and hot-house flowers in a luxurious retreat on the banks of the Thames. ”

“ Er—yes, that's what I've come about, don't you know—that sort of thing. Fact is (with a burst of confidence) , this isn't exactly my line—I've been rather let in for this. You see, I've not been by way of doin' this long—but what's a fellow to do when he's stony-broke? Got to do somethin', don't you know. So I thought I'd go in for journalism—I don't mean the drudgery of it, leader-writin' and that—but the light part of it, Society, you know. ”

“ The two heavy-weights pounded gallantly along; been to Ascot; thought they'd be back in plenty of time for Division; and here's Division-bell at its last shake. Hartington come up with them; striding ahead; wins easily; Chaplin reaches door of House just as it is closing; with tremendous effort, Maclure pulls himself together; throws himself on doorway; nothing could stand rush like [pg 305] that; door bursts open; Maclure and Compensation Bill saved. A very close shave. When Division taken, 228 vote for Government, 224 against; majority Four—the four who raced up the staircase hot from Ascot. ”

“ DIANA AT DINNER.
[On the first page of the prospectus of the recently-established "Dorothy" Restaurant it is stated that it is for "Ladies only." On the last page will be found the following modification:—"At the request of many of the Lady customers, it has been decided to open the Restaurant from 6·30 P.M. to 10 P.M. to both Ladies and Gentlemen."]
There was started in London, I mustn't say where,
And, beyond saying lately, I mustn't say when,
A sweet Restaurant, where the sex that is fair
Might attend undisturbed by the presence of men. ”

“ Heligoland British territory; to be sacrificed only with last drop of blood; Radical Separatists rapped on knuckles for suggesting handing over; then we wake up, and find it's been handed over, and by the Markiss! Tell you what it is, Toby, think I shall cut this business; not brought up to politics; find them a little weakening."
The Ladies' Man.
Old Morality announced programme for remainder of Session. In bulk something exceeding ordinary programme when brought in in February. Now it is the so-called June; every prospect of sitting till October; House groans and growls ”

“ He intends carrying out this self-denying programme for two days beyond a couple of score—possibly as a proof of his fortitude or (as a Cockney would pronounce the word) "forty-two'd." The last time this talented person dispensed with sustenance, was in Edinburgh, when he did not partake of any meal in the Douglas Hotel for thirty days—a feat, one would think, that must have been more interesting to the Medical Profession than the proprietor of the hostelry. ”

“ By these she is considered to be one of the suns from which the great world draws its light and warmth. In her third Season she is sufficiently secure to introduce into Society her daughter, aged eighteen, who has hitherto (so she will inform her friends) been receiving a good education abroad. Accompanied by "my little girl," she may be seen, on fine afternoons, reclining in her spick and span Victoria, in the midst of the crowd in the Ladies' Mile. ”

“ Seventy questions on the paper, increased fourfold by others put arising out of the answer. Practice is for Irish Members to put question; Prince Arthur reads answer from manuscript supplied from Irish Office; then uprise in succession half-a-dozen other Irish Members, each asking fresh question. Prince Arthur with one leg crossed over other and hand to chin sits looking and listening; presently when there is lull, lounges up to table and makes answer. ”

“ You see, I've always been rather a dead hand at drawin' fellows out, leadin' them on, you know, and all that, so I knew it would come easy enough to me, for all you've got to do is to sit tight and let the other chap—I mean to say, the man you're interviewin'—do all the talking, while you—I mean to say, myself—keep, keeps—hullo, I'm getting my grammar a bit mixed ”