Various

“ You all know the purpose for which we have ... (Here an enthusiastic old Lady on the drag begins to cheer aimlessly, and wave a scrubbing-brush; the Laundresses on the lorry join in.) Well, we're going to ask Parliament ... (Another female in crowd: "'Ullo, there's Mrs. JINNINGS, along with the toffs! I want to 'ear Mrs. JINNINGS speak, I do!") ... I shall now ask you to listen to a speaker—Mrs. GOFFIN—who has had several years' practical experience of laundry-work, and she will tell you, I am sure, what the hardships and injustices are which we are trying to put an end to. ”

“ Why, I've been and spoke to hover forty Members o' Parlyment on the subjeck myself, I 'ave, and they was all on our side, 'cept three or four, as was lawyers—and you know what they are! (The crowd expresses hearty disapproval of the Profession as a body.) One on 'em sez to me, "My good woman, I'm against 'aving the Factory Acts. I'm all for freedom, I am!" ”

“ Yes; wide awake; no mistake about the situation; still harping on the Irish Land Bill; but, thank a merciful Providence, this is the last night. JOHN MORLEY, who never shrinks from call of duty, rises, and makes one of those formal, official, somewhat tiresome protests, recapitulating objections which everyone only too familiar with through this gruesome spring and saddened summer. ”

“ An employer of labour is next introduced, and received at first with suspicion, until he explains that he is heart and soul with them, that he does not dread the application of the Factory Acts to his own establishment, and considers that it would be an excellent thing if all the smaller laundries were closed to-morrow, whereupon the ladies habitually employed in these places cheer him heartily.
A Common-Sense Speaker. It's all very well for you to come 'ere and protest against the laundresses workin' too long hours, but I tell yer this—it's yer own fault, it's the Public's fault. ”

“ I'll tell yer another thing—I've worked for a man down at South End, Healing, and this'll show yer the amount o' hinsult and hill-treatment we 'ave to stand, and never say nothing to. I've seed 'im, hover and hover agen, walkin' about among us in his shirtsleeves, with 'is braces 'angin' about is 'eels! (Cheers from the crowd; demonstration with scrubbing-brush by the old Lady in the drag.) I 'ave indeed, and I don't tell yer no lies. (Here a Lady in the crowd suddenly exhibits a tendency to harangue the public on her own wrongs, and has to be suppressed.) ”

“ As you have been educated up to a point rendering you valueless at fourteen, we shall have much pleasure in recommending that your studies be continued until your education will be equally valueless at nineteen. ”

“ In the neighbourhood is a lorry decorated with clean shirts, and occupied by young washerwomen fired by an enthusiasm which manifests itself in bursts of shrill cheering and lively interchange of chaff with the spectators. ”

“ PARKER is played out. Let her be united to "CHARLES, his Friend," and let both enjoy their well-earned retirement from the stage.
Miss LILY HANBURY plays "Mrs. Hemmersley, a rich young widow," which cannot be described as "a poor part." With this LILY, who looks rich and is beautiful, the poor artist—a very poor artist—one Marshall (without a Christian name in the bill, so why not Snelgrove Marshall?) well played by Dr. FORBES DAWSON, falls desperately in love. ”

“ Yes, I think that employers should be forced by law to give in to their men.
Question. But should this lead to bankruptcy, what then?
Witness. Bankruptcy should be legally abolished.
Question. Should employers have no money to pay the employed?
Witness. That duty should be discharged by the Government. ”

“ Mireille, Miss EAMES, charming throughout, is a happy peasant in beautiful little patent leather shoes, which, I hope, are as easy as apparently are her circumstances. She is beloved by one Vincent, pronounced Van Song, a peasant of a rather Whitechapelish-costermongerish-out-on-a-Sunday appearance, but picturesque withal. They are engaged; at least, if they are not they ought to be. Then comes a handsome elderly lady, disguised like a fairy godmother in a pantomime before she throws off her hood and announces her real character, and this lady, called Taven in the bill, is Mlle. ”

“ Chorus of agreement; sudden unpopularity—especially, oddly enough, with lighthearted young laundresses—of persons in the crowd whose collars are at all aggressive in their cleanliness; universal feeling that the blame has been fitted upon the right shoulders at last. ”

“ Demonstration in progress, with the not unreasonable object of inducing Parliament to extend the Factory Acts to small and insanitary laundries. A lengthy procession, composed of sympathetic Railway Workers, Cabmen, Journeymen Tailors, Gas Stokers, House-Decorators, Carpenters, &c., &c., alt with resplendent banners and hired bands, has marched into the Park, together with some lorries and drags containing deputations of ladies from the laundry in the highest possible spirits. ”

“ Now, I'm sure you'll all be as quiet as you can while I ... (Hubbub, caused by a personal altercation between two Women in the crowd, and shouts of "Order!") Because really my doctor has ordered me not to speak in the open air at all ... (Here an ill-conditioned female, taking offence for some inscrutable reason, remarks loudly, "'Er doctor, indeed, she's a beauty, she is—'er and 'er doctor!" More calls to order, and extreme indignation of the ill-conditioned female at being informed that she is "no lady," and had "better 'old 'er jaw"; ribald and utterly meaningless jests by the larrikins.) ”

“ You will 'ave yer clean shirts and collars sent 'ome every week! (Several of the unwashed betray that this thrust has gone home.) A fortnight ain't a bit too long to wait for your linen! (Unanimous and hearty assent by people in dingy flannels.) And if some o' these swells and aristocrats weren't so partickler, and didn't send so much linen to the wash as they do, why, it stands to reason as the hours the washerwomen 'ud work 'ud be shorter! ”

“ The Wicked Vibrato Peasant with the big Toasting-cum-Tuning-Fork.
On the disappearance of Taven,— [she didn't take off her cloak, and wasn't a fairy, which rather put me off the scent, I admit,] —in comes a gorgeous person, six feet high at least, and stout in proportion, who, as I gathered from the programme, was Ourrias (what a name!) ”

“ GOFFIN, a stout, red-faced Lady, mounts the seat with a cheery confidence, amidst roars of laughter, and shouts of "Go it, old girl!" "Don't forgit to send my shirt home next week!" &c., &c. The female in the crowd repeats her preference for Mrs. JINNINGS' oratory; a string of factory-girls, in high-feathered hats, having just elbowed their way into the throng, suddenly conceive a desire to "get a breath o' air somewhere," and accordingly push and trample their way out again with a Parthian discharge of refined raillery—after which Mrs. ”

“ ELLIOT, DANEMORE, GROSSMITH, and BRANDON THOMAS. As for the last-mentioned, it is well worth a visit to this theatre to see Mr. BRANDON THOMAS in two pieces, first as the Model, and then as the Heavy Swell. It is a strong thing to say, but I can call to mind no actor on the stage at the present moment who could in two different characters on the same night so completely and absolutely lose his identity,—for voice, manner, action, and of course appearance are all utterly changed,—as does Mr. BRANDON THOMAS as Gloucester the Model, and as Captain Tom Robinson.
All the ladies are good. ”

“ Business done.—Irish Land Bill read a Third Time by 225 votes against 96.
Tuesday.—GORST gave House to-night thorough surprise. The SQUIRE of MALWOOD brought on Manipur business; moved Resolution asking for more papers. Incidentally indicted the Government at home and in India. GORST put up to reply. An average Minister would have made an ordinary speech; GORST's reply accepted by common consent as the most extraordinary ever heard from the Treasury Bench since DIZZY left it. ”

“ And swiftly makes them one for ever.
AN OPERATIC PUZZLE.
I had been informed that it was no use buying a book of Mireille, as those sold in the house were of a somewhat light and mis-leading character. So I didn't. But I had a programme, and fortunately I was able to recognise most of the singers in spite of their disguise. Also I comforted myself with the official information that the piece was to be performed, "by desire, in French." "Oho!" ”

“ Was it true? Could it be possible? Yes; no doubt about it. There was Prince ARTHUR still lounging on Treasury Bench with MADDEN in reserve. About a score of Members present, including WINDBAG SEXTON, looking on with his irritating smile of supreme superiority, whilst SAGE of QUEEN ANNE'S GATE moved rejection of Irish Land Purchase Bill.
Brother Dick.
"Why!" exclaimed Brother DICK, his hair still visibly rising, "when I was here last, weeks and months ago, they were discussing Irish Land Bill; Prince ARTHUR sprawled on Treasury Bench; LABBY was denouncing the Bill as pernicious ”