Various

“ Our greatness shall appall,
And their topsails straight they'll lower to the lords of the Tyne.
'Twas thus with idle rumours poor gentlemen delighted,
The honest men of North Shields to fancy gave the rein;
Sad proof that when ambition with folly is united,
Astonishing chimeras oft occupy the brain.
But soon their joy was banish'd,
Soon each illusion vanish'd,
For news arriv'd the Butcher the Branch could not obtain.
Deep, deep in the dumps,
(After playing all his trumps)
Just as branchless as he went he was 'toddling hyem' again,
Newcastle, thou dear canny town! ”

“ Aw'll wait yor return on Newcassel Tyne Brig!—
Oh, marcy! cried Johnson, yor looks gar me shiver!
Maw canny lass, Jin, let me fetch him next tide;
The spectre then frown'd—and he vanish'd for ever,
While Sandgate did ring as she vengefully cried—
Fine Chenee oranges, four for a penny!
Cherry ripe cornberries—taste them and try!
She waits for her lover, each night at this station,
And calls her ripe fruit with a voice loud and clear;
The keel-bullies listen in great consternation—
Tho' snug in their huddocks, they tremble with fear! ”

“ To please every bonny young bairn.
Of each dish and glass you'll be welcome
To eat and to drink till you stare;
I've told you what meat's to be at it,
I'll next tell you who's to be there.
Blind Willy's to play on the fiddle.
Why there will be Peter the hangman,
Who flogs the folks at the cart-tail,
Au'd Bob, with his new sark and ruffle,
Made out of an au'd keel sail!
And Tib on the Quay who sells oysters,
Whose mother oft strove to persuade
Her to keep from the lads, but she wouldn't,
Until she got by them betray'd.
Blind Willy's to play on the fiddle. ”

“ What news, pray, Master Barber?
"Oh a terrible Sea Monster has got into the harbour!"
Now each honest man in Shields—I mean both North and South, sir,
Delighting in occasions to expand their eyes and mouth, sir:
And, fond of seeing marv'lous sights, ne'er staid to get his beard off;
But ran to view the Monster, its arrival when he heard of.
Oh! who could think of shaving when inform'd by the Barber,
That a terrible Sea Monster had got into the harbour.
Each wife pursu'd her husband, and every child its mother,
Lads and lasses, helter skelter, scamper'd after one another ”

“ THE NEWCASTLE NOODLES. BY JAMES MORRISON.
Be easy, good folks, for we're all safe enough,
Better fortune seems now to attend us;
And two canny fellows, both lusty and tough,
Have rais'd a new corps to defend us.
Men sound wind and limb, good sighted and stout,
That can fight well, without being daunted;
Free from all diseases, such like as the gout,
And can jump, or be ready when wanted. [Pg 169]
CHORUS.
Then if any invaders should dare us to fight,
Let it be on the shore or the river,
Bold Archy the Noodle, and Tommy the Knight,
Will guard and protect us for ever. ”

“ Receiv'd the same fate as the Coach in the rear;
So high was the Radical sentiment tow'ring,
That public expression was past all enduring.
In vain flew the bricks, save to knock people down,
For the Tories were fled, and too fast was the crown;
At length a bold Tar, in the midst of the fray,
Mounted swiftly, and tore the gilt bauble away;
And put in its place, which was fair to be seen,
"The Queen that Jack lov'd," and cried, "God save the Queen!"
Then off went their hats, and abroad went the roar,
And shook the glass windows along the Tyne shore. ”

“ Some such as me the hyke myed sick,
And myed them rue their roamin':
Still forward plung'd wor gallant ship,
And left the water foamin'.
Waes me! but 'tis a bonny seet,
O land o' beef and puddin'!
To see thy tars, in pluck complete,
Haud fair their course for Lunnin!
Hail, Tyneside lads! in collier fleets,
The first in might and motion—
In sunshine days or stormy neets
The lords upon the ocean.
Come England's foes—a countless crew—
Ye'll gie their gobs a scummin',
And myek them a' the day to rue,
They glibb'd their jaws at Lunnin. ”

“ Of pulling down the Butcher-bank it grieves one's heart to speak,
From it down every Quayside-chare there's such a glorious keek;
The shambles, too, a bonny sight, the horse and foot-ways nice and narrow—
Say what they will, seek through the world, the Butcher-bank is bad to marrow.
Our fishwives, too, might well complain, forc'd off the hill to move,
Where they so long had squall'd in peace, good fellowship, and love: [Pg 239]
The brightest day will have an end, and here the Sandhill's glory closes,
Now flies and fumes no more will make the gentles stop their ears and noses. ”

“ Teeth and Loyalty.
Who can't eat is sure a knave;
Send the scoundrel to his grave;
Who can't drink should be a slave;
Such we ne'er will be.
Who for King and Country's Law
Will cut away and stuff his maw,
Cans will drain, and corks will draw,
Brothers, come with me.
By what's worse than Slavery's chains,
Empty stomachs, gripes, and pains,
We'll eat and drink, until our veins
Swoln like bladders be.
See yon lumps of beef laid low,
Puddings fall at every blow!
Wine in bumpers round shall flow:
Brothers, look to me!
THE NEWCASTLE
SWINEHERD'S PROCLAMATION
O yes! ”

“ Tears glisten'd, sir, in every eye, from the Parson to the Barber,
When, swoln to thrice his natural size, they dragg'd him from the harbour.
Now, having roll'd and rubb'd him well an hour upon the beach, sir,
He got upon his legs again, and made a serious speech, sir:
Quoth he, "An ancient proverb says, and true it will be found, sirs,
Those born to prove an airy doom will surely ne'er be drown'd, sirs:
For Fate, sirs, has us all in tow, from the Monarch to the Barber,
Or surely I had breath'd my last this morning in the harbour. ”

“ Newcastle's now a dowly place—all things seem sore aclite,
For here at last Blind Willie lies, an honest, harmless wight;
Nor wealth nor power now look with scorn on this lone spot of one departed,
For fashion's gay and glaring sun ne'er beam'd on one more happy hearted. ”

“ THE SANDGATE LASS ON THE ROPERY BANKS. Tune—"The Skipper's Wedding."
On the Ropery-banks Jenny was sitting—
She had on a bed-gown just new,
And blithely the lassie was knitting
Wi' yarn of a bonny sky-blue.
The strings of her cap they were hinging,
Se lang, on her shoulders se fine,
And hearty I heard this lass singing—
My bonny keel lad shall be mine.
O wad the keel come down the river,
That I my dear laddie could see,
He whistles and dances se clever,
My bonny keel laddie for me. ”

“ Of sic she feeds the bairns and me,
The tyesty bits she tyeks hersel';
In whilk ne share nor lot have we,
Excepting sometimes i' the smell.
The crowdy is wor daily dish,
But varra different is their minny's;
For she gets a' her heart can wish
In strang lyac'd tea and singin' hinnies.
Ma canny bairns luik pale and wan,
Their bits and brats are varra scant;
Their mother's feasts rob them o' scran—
For wilfu' waste makes woefu' want.
She peels the taties wi' her teeth,
And spreads the butter wi' her thoom;
She blaws the kail wi' stinking breeth,
Where mawks and caterpillars soom! ”

“ Poor people who are in their prime,
Lest the earth prove too small to contain all—
Such notions can last but a time.
But the Clergy who're plac'd in snug station,
The Nobles, and such like fine folks,
May continue their multiplication—
What think you, my friends, of such jokes?
What think you of Malthus the Parson,
Who slights each injunction divine,
And laughs while he carries the farce on;—
But all things have but a time.
When the poor folk of hunger are dying,
He deems it no sin in the great,
Their hands to with-hold from supplying
The wretched with victuals to eat! ”

“ When sharp afflictions pierce me keen;
'Twill soothe my woes to think on thee,
Thou fairest flower in Pandon Dean.
If Fortune smile, I'll then return,
To deck my love in silken sheen;
And dwell with her just by the burn
That wimples through the bonny Dean.
THE NEWCASTLE HACKNEYS.
The Londoners long for example we've chose,
And imported each fashion as fast as it 'rose;
But the best hit of all, in our awkward approaches,
Is St. Nicholas' Square, and the new hackney coaches.
The ladies have long had advantage of man,
In that easy conveyance, a walking sedan ”

“ The roads to Newcastle were cover'd almost,
As if Radical thunder [23] had summon'd its host,
Or an enemy's fleet had been seen off the coast,
On George the Fourth's Coronation.
In the streets what a buz among sweethearts and wives,
And children who ne'er rose so soon in their lives ”

“ Resolv'd to cross the river, sirs, a sculler did I get into,
May Jonah's evil luck be mine, another when I step into!
Just when we reach'd the deepest part, O horror! there it founders,
And down went poor Pilgarlick amongst the crabs and flounders! ”

“ Once fam'd for the Knights of the Thimble and Goose;
And O stands for Ormston, at Pandon—O rare!—
Temptation enough for young men that go there!
P stands for Pace, sign of the White Swan,
Who, for to oblige, will do all that he can;
A convenient house, when you marketing make,
To pop in and indulge yourself with a beef-steak.
R stands for Ridley and Reed, you all know,
And R stands for Richardson, all in a row;
First, Three Tuns, the Sun, and the Old Rose & Crown,
And their ale's good as any at that part of town. ”

“ About the time o' six o'clock, you'll see the fine seet;
A large show of lasses fine, that drive about there,
They nyem'd it but reet when they ga'd Filly Fair.
Now, one Sunday neet, to the high town aw went,
That aw might get the evening cannily spent:
Among the rabble, sure enough, aw gat there,
And saw the first dresses in fam'd Filly Fair.
There's some lasses, they say, that are so very keen,
That they come to this place just for to be seen;
And, on every wet Sunday, they sit down to prayer,
And think it provoking they're not at the Fair. ”

“ Since the head of the church met such hoggish disdain.
The morning was fine when the boats came in sight,
And cannons re-echoed the Tories' delight—
Sandgate heroes huzza'd, till the news, so provoking,
Convinc'd them the watermen only were joking.
"What a d—n'd shame! (cried Archy) such prizes, and never
"A man lying breathless, or drown'd in the river!
"No squabbling, no fighting, no boats sunk—damnation!
"They're fit men to row at a King's Coronation!" ”

“ The Shields folk cross'd ower the Tyne,
But now we have got a big steamer,
And cuts quite a wonderful shine;
And one that we've got down at Scotland,
Delights a' the folks with a ride,
For it gans back and forward sae rapid,
That it just makes a trip in a tide.
These are the days, &c.
I think I've now told you, my hinnies,
The whole of the changes I've seen,
At least a' the whirligig fashions
That I have been able to glean;
So the next time we meet a' together,
Some other improvements I'll get,
And then we shall make worsels happy,
And try a' wor cares to forget. ”

“ Grainger built.
This is Chinaman Reed, who said Briggs was right,
and who wears his unmentionables awfully tight, which
were made by this Briggs, who makes trousers and
coats, who abus'd the committee for giving their votes
to Peregrine, so pragmatic and prim, to scout the hat
without any brim; for Briggs deck'd the hat so cock'd
and lac'd,—and he prides himself on his fanciful taste,—paid
for by the horde of attorneys so bored by the rascally
boys, who, making a noise, are kick'd out by the
blade, whose only trade is to keep the Arcade that
Grainger built. ”

“ For every body has a plan
To guide a rackle ram-stam wife,
Except the poor tormented man."
Will could not now his feelings stay—
The tear roll'd down his care-worn cheek:
He thrimmell'd out what he'd to pay,
And sobbing said, "my heart will break!" ”

“ To bring daft gowks from far and near, to plague us with their gob and gazing.
The Middle-street's to come down next, and give us better air,
And room to make to hold at once the market and the fair;
Well may Newcastle grieve for this, because in hot or rainy weather,
It look'd so well to see the folks all swelter'd in a hole together.
The Tyne's to run out east and west ”

“ And folks in the South Seas, sir;
'Tis said they sometimes cut a swell
In dishes odd and rare, sir,
But we from them will bear the bell,
For we have eat a Bear, sir.
All times have had their men of taste,
Each passing age adorning, [Pg 329]
Who, rather than good stuff should waste,
Would eat from night till morning:
To us they must knock under now—
We've given them a scare, sir;
They all could eat a sheep or so,
But we can eat a Bear, sir.
Now as you chance to walk the street,
How every dog will run, sir,
Lest you should roast him for a treat,
And eat him up in fun, sir ”

“ The Black House, the White House, the Hole-in-the-Wall,
And the Seven Stars, Pandon, if you dare call.
There's the Turk's Head, Nag's Head, and Old Barley Mow,
The Bay Horse, the Pack Horse, and Teasdale's Dun Cow,
The Ship, and the Keel, the Half Moon, and the Sun—
But I think, my good friends, it is time to be done.
Then each landlord and landlady, wish them success,
Town and trade of the Tyne, too—we cannot do less;
And let this be the toast, when we meet to regale—
"May we ne'er want a bumper of Newcastle ale."
W. Watson. ”

“ My good shag hat ne mair aw'll wave,
His canny fyace to see—
Wor bairns' bairns will sing o' him,
As Gilchrist sings o' me [Pg 106]
For O! he was a lad o' wax!
Aw've seen him blithe, an' often mellow—
He might hae faults, but, wi' them a',
We've seldom seen a better fellow.
Yen day they had me drown'd for fun,
Which myed the folks to blair;
Aw myest could wish, for his dear sake,
That aw'd been drown'd for fair.
On monny a day when cannons roar,
Yen loyal heart will then be missin'—
If there be yell, we'll toast his nyem—
If there be nyen, he'll get wor blissin'. ”

“ My canny keel laddie,
Sae handsome, sae canty, and free, O;
Had he staid on the Tyne,
Ere now he'd been mine,
But, oh! he's far ower the sea, O.
Should he fall by commotion,
Or sink in the ocean,
(May sic tidings ne'er come to the Kee, O!)
I could ne'er mair be glad,
For the loss of my lad
Wad break my poor heart, and I'd dee, O.
O my sweet laddie, [Pg 63] &c.
But should my dear tar
Come safe from the war,
What heart-bounding joy wad I feel, O!
To the Church we wad flee,
And married be,
And again he should row in his keel, O.
O my sweet laddie! ”

“ For Shields did sail one morning,
In their awd keel, black as the Deil,
All fear and danger scorning.
The sky look'd bright, which prophesied
A fair and glorious day, man;
But such a thick Scotch mist cam on,
They could not see their way, man.
Fal, lal, &c.
They pull'd about, frae reet to left,
Not kennin what to dee, man,
When poor Pee-dee began to fret,
Lest they should drive to sea, man.
Says Geordy, Should wor voyage be lang,
We've little for our guts, man;
There's nowt belaw but half a loaf,
Some tripe, and a nowt's foot, man. ”

“ The Quayside horses, loaded well,
Will scamper off like hares, sir,
To see, not Bears all eating men,
But men all eating Bears, sir.
The next time, sir, you eat a Bear,
Grant this my supplication—
Invite to dine our canny Mayor,
And hungry Corporation;
In seeking for a friend like you,
They're looking lean and spare, sir,
So in compassion send them now
The fragments of the Bear, sir.
R. Gilchrist.
THE LASS OF WINCOMBLEE. Tune—"Nae Luck about the House."
Now all ye lilies hang your heeds,
Ye roses bloom nae mair,
Ye tulips all, put on your weeds,
All, posies may despair. ”