Victor Bridges

“ There was a short pause.
"Well, then," said George, taking a thoughtful pull at his cigar, "my advice is that you should accept this invitation from Lady Bulstrode, and make up your mind to settle down."
"To do what?" I asked in dismay.
"To settle down," repeated George, with some firmness. "If you are ever going to do anything with your life, it's quite time you started. You can't go wandering about the world in this aimless fashion for ever."
"But it isn't aimless, George," I protested. "I always have an excellent reason for going anywhere." ”

“ Except for a slight misunderstanding with a farm cart on the borders of Cambridgeshire, which Tony patched up with a charming apology and a sovereign, no untoward incident marred the remainder of the drive. Half-past one was just striking as the car entered the outskirts of Newmarket. Through the broad, grey main street, with its stray race-horses and its lounging throng of gaitered, clean-shaven men, Tony steered a sober and considerate course. The town was full of visitors, and almost every other man who passed either touched his cap or waved a cheery greeting. ”

“ Bascombe extracted a toothpick from the wine-glass on the table, and, leaning back in his chair, directed his gaze out of the window. He perceived at once that for some reason or other the usually placid main thoroughfare of Princetown was in a state of no little animation. Outside the grocer's shop opposite the hotel a group of six or seven men and women stood in the roadway talking eagerly and staring up the street. Their agitation seemed to be in some way connected with the prison, for as a warder came running hastily past they all turned and followed him with their eyes. ”

“ Gwendoline wrinkled up her forehead.
"I can't love any one I don't like," she said decisively. "I've tried several times, and it's always been a failure."
"I can," observed Reggie frankly. "I love lots of people, but I don't think I like any one very much except you and Tony, and Martin, my valet. If you all died, I should become what my uncle calls 'a slave to passion.'"
"It sounds rather nice," said Gwendoline.
Reggie sighed. "It's dreadfully expensive," he observed. ”

“ So he kept his thoughts to himself, and did what he was told, and Mammy-ana frequently informed him that he was the best behaved and the most satisfactory little mouse in the whole of Berkeley Square. "This," she would add, "is rather due to your excellent upbringing than to any innate virtue that you yourself possess." And Squarky-woo, who had quite made up his mind to pay a visit to the kitchen on the first possible occasion, used to bow his head gracefully, as though recognising the truth of her remark, and then wink at himself in the looking-glass under the dining-room sideboard. ”

“ A raw November mist brooded unpleasantly over everything, offering a dismal contrast to the warmth and brightness of the little bar-parlour. Under the circumstances, nobody stayed to gossip on the doorstep, even the thrilling topic of Mr. Andrew's resignation being mutually abandoned. There was a general turning up of coat-collars, the flare of a match, a "Good-night, Tom!"—"Comin' my way, Potter?" and all the late revellers clumped away to their respective homes—all of them, that is to say, except Mr. Bates. ”

“ Tommy had been quite indignant.
"Why, of course it's possible," he had declared. "A salmon rod will stand almost any strain. The best swimmer in the world would be quite helpless if you hooked him by a belt round his middle."
"Get out, Tommy," I said derisively; "he'd break you every time."
"I bet you he wouldn't," said Tommy. "Look here, you get a good swimmer—any one you like, I don't care who he is—and I'll bet you five pounds I'll land him in under half an hour."
"Done with you," I replied. "And what's more, I'll bet you another fiver he breaks your line inside of five minutes." ”

“ I began to take myself to task. "Because a young woman happens to address a bulldog in your hearing," I inquired, "is that any reason why you should waste an entire morning?"
Getting no reply, I continued with increasing sternness: "You are as bad as George. You are making an idiot of yourself over a red-haired slip of a girl whom you have only seen about three times in your life. Why, if it comes to that, you don't even know her name! Sir, I am disgusted with you." ”

“ From the tonneau behind, Reggie, who was softly stroking Gwendoline's hand, surveyed them with languid approval. "I don't suppose," he said contentedly, "that there are four such charming people as ourselves in the whole of England."
Gwendoline looked a little doubtful.
"I think Musette is very nice," she said, "but I don't quite understand her."
"You should never understand any one," replied Reggie. "It's like knowing the answer to a riddle."
"Does Tony love her?" asked Gwendoline. ”

“ Squarky-woo's eyes lit up with a great pride. "Yes," he said, "it has taught me how to make a fool of myself, but it will also teach me how to die."
"Listen," cried Mammy-ana suddenly. "There is one faint chance. If the cat is not present when you are discovered, they will try to drown you. Just as they are going to open the trap I will attract their attention, and if by any chance they open it a second too soon—jump, darling, jump, for your life and mine." ”

“ Three minutes afterwards, with Tony at the wheel and Reggie reclining luxuriously in the beautiful limousine body, the big Rolls-Royce drew noiselessly away down Piccadilly. Whatever Tony's shortcomings might be, he could certainly drive a car. Threading his way through the traffic with a very poetry of judgment, he glided round the corner of Park Lane, and, cutting across the bows of an onrushing motor omnibus, disappeared in the direction of Curzon Street before the indignant brake-grabbing driver of the latter could recall a single adequate word. ”

“ Reggie stared at him in unaffected amazement.
"Have to what?" he repeated.
"Work," repeated Tony. "I believe it's very difficult and unpleasant, but I don't see any other prospect."
A mingled look of horror and admiration crept across Reggie's face.
"What could you do?" he asked breathlessly.
"I might drive a car," answered Tony hopefully. "I can't think of anything else at the moment."
Reggie took a deep breath,
"You're splendid, Tony," he said. "You remind me of Roosevelt. But of course it's absurd. You must marry some woman with money. ”

“ If the Zeitgeist had any particular purpose when it tossed Tommy's atoms together, it must have been the production of a super-chauffeur. Amazingly erratic as he is in other things, his driving and handling of a car more nearly approaches perfection than any human effort I know. In other hands the hired wreckage that bore our fortunes would, I feel sure, have collapsed hopelessly long before we reached Gloucester. But Tommy, who, according to Mortimer, had pored lovingly over it with a spanner for several hours that morning, lifted it triumphantly, if complainingly, through all demands. ”

“ You're quite right, Percy. What was it I wanted?" His face brightened. "Oh, yes, the port wine and a cigar—the best quality cigar, mark you. None of your penny stinkers. You tell old whiskers; he'll see to it."
"Yes, sir," murmured the waiter with a gasp.
He retired from the room, to be succeeded a minute later by the landlord, bearing an aged-looking black bottle in one hand and a large cigar-box in the other.
"I hope you enjoyed your lunch, sir," he said, placing these treasures on the table.
"First-rate," replied Mr. Bascombe, smacking his lips. ”

“ Tony shivered.
"Fancy being jumped at by a woman!" he said plaintively. "It makes me feel like a new hat."
"Well, you're a bad hat," retorted Reggie, laughing; "that's quite near enough. Seriously, though, my dear Tony, you can't possibly be allowed to go under. London would never be the same again. It would be as bad as Romano's being burnt down. You must marry, of course. What's the use of being the most popular man in London if you can't marry a rich woman when you want to?" ”

“ Yard was not slow in realizing the fact. Grabbing the greatcoat from its peg, he was just about to make for the window, when a sudden shout outside brought him to an abrupt halt.
"Hallo, Tubby!" sang out a cheery voice.
Like a cat Mr. Yard stole to the window. Some thirty yards away a young man with a bag in his hand was advancing towards the pavilion across the next field.
Swiftly and noiselessly the convict crossed the floor to the other side of the apartment, and peeped through a crack in the boards. Another young man with another bag in his hand was approaching from the roadway. ”

“ Once upon a time there was a little mouse called Squarky-woo, who lived behind the wainscoting in a house in Berkeley Square. His mother, who lived with him, was very old, and very grey, and very wise. He called her Mammy-ana, partly from affection and partly because it was her name. She was a widow, Squarky-woo's father having met with a tabby catastrophe in the kitchen, which had abruptly terminated his stainless career in the very flower of mousehood. It had been a cruel blow to Mammy-ana, who had loved him dearly, and would not have lost him for all the cheese in Cheddar. ”

“ As I passed Otter's Holt, the long, low, creeper-covered bungalow that adjoined our own camping-ground, I caught a glimpse of the girl who had inflamed George's susceptible heart. She was lying in a deck-chair in the verandah, reading a book. By her side crouched a large brindled bulldog, who looked up and emitted a sharp "woof!" as the splash of my punt-pole reached his ears.
His mistress put out a small reproving hand. "Lie down, sir!" she said, in a voice that no decent bulldog could possibly have resisted. ”

“ There was a momentary twinkle in Leslie's grey eyes.
"Twenty-one-and-a-half minutes," he said. "Not a record, Nancy, by a long way."
She sat down in the chair which he pulled up, and began to take off her gloves.
"There's one nice thing about you," she answered, looking at him with frank affection, "you never mind people being late, do you?"
"I occasionally make an exception in business hours," said Leslie.
"Oh, business!" She shrugged her pretty shoulders. "I expect you're simply horrid in business, George. I'm sure you bully all those poor people at the garage dreadfully." ”

“ I laughed, and finished my champagne.
"I wasn't suggesting you'd pawned it, George," I said.
A sense of humour not being my brother's strong point, this little pleasantry fell on stony ground.
"Aren't we wandering rather from the point?" he asked.
"Not a bit," I said, with some cheerfulness. "I was just thinking that if I'm booked to go to Grendon in ten days' time it's highly necessary that I should have a short holiday first. A smart country house-party bang on top of two months of London would just about finish me." ”

“ As the swing-door closed behind him, Barton suddenly realized that they might never meet again. Steele had been one of his few friends—a pleasant good-natured fellow, who had always treated him with a faint touch of deference; an unconscious tribute that some young men are always ready to pay to a stronger or keener intelligence than their own. Steele would be sorry if things went wrong. ”

“ Death is much easier on the box-seat. Besides, I want to hold Gwendoline's hand."
"I am not at all sure that it is respectable," said Musette severely.
"It will only be her left hand," pleaded Reggie.
"Oh, well, in that case," said Musette; and, without further objection, she seated herself alongside of Tony.
Five minutes' flirtation with death brought the car to Portman Mansions, where Gwendoline, a charming blend of Dresden china and Paquin, floated delicately into the limousine. ”

“ He suffered from temptations of which Mammy-ana was ignorant, for the other young mice had the most offensive habit of jeering at him whenever she was not present. "Yah!" they would cry, "Who's afraid of the cat? Look at little Stay-in-hole!" Then they would tell him wonderful stories about the kitchen, how the floor was strewn with crumbs, and how exciting it was to creep in quietly and pick them up, while the great, ugly brute of a cat nodded away sleepily in front of the fire. ”

“ The ferret-faced young man indulged himself in another leisurely survey. "Worth it, too, by Jove!" he ejaculated admiringly.
His criticism, if a trifle crude in expression, was sound enough in taste. The girl who had just come in was most distinctly worth waiting for. Beautifully dressed, with a shy yet charming prettiness, she moved across the tea-room towards Leslie, and held out her hand with a little smile of apology. ”

“ By this time Winston Churchill seemed to have accepted me as a harmless and necessary evil. He sat up in the stern and watched me with intelligent interest, while I completed my preparations for lunch.
"You are in his good books now," said the bronze-haired girl, stroking him gently down the back with her fingers. "He thinks that people who provide food cannot be altogether bad." ”