W. Pett Ridge

“ Ladd; 'you look quite smart.'
'Ah,' remarked the stern woman, looking over her shoulder, 'Elf always looks a treat. And, I say, look how this silver teapot's been and got dented! I do think it's a shame to take other people's property—don't you, Mrs. Fayres?'
'What's she say?' inquired the old lady, placing one large hand to her ear.
'Says,' translated Alfred Bateson in a loud whisper, 'that it's a 'orrible thing to see good goods pinched by gentlemen what it don't belong to.'
'Nonsense!' she said seriously in her bass voice. 'Whose goods are ye to pinch if it ain't other people's? ”

“ They may be slaves to garlic, and their talk may be a bit difficult to follow, but——'
'Be a man!' urged Mrs. Fayres feelingly. 'Be a patriot, Ladd! Be a Briton! Remember what the poet says.'
Mr. Mr. Ladd was about to express an opinion concerning poetry and poets, when a sharp triple knock came at the front-door. Alfred Bateson grabbed at the sack, opened the mouth, and Ladd hurriedly threw in the articles of silver plate. Miss Ladd turned down the lamp, and flew to look through a chink in the shutters. ”

“ I think of you a great deal. I am so glad you work hard for a living. I must now conclude with love.'
Alfred Bateson glanced at himself shamefacedly in the mirror.
'Dere's some grosses on the other side,' pointed out the hairdresser at his shoulder. 'Durn over.'
'What the 'ell do you mean,' he said angrily, 'by lookin' over my shou'der and readin' my private correspondence, eh? Damnation bit of cheek, and so I shall tell you if you ain't careful! Unnerstand that!'
'Don't fly into a demper,' begged the German, 'over a mere drifle. ”

“ Ladd, not unkindly, 'you retire into private life. You step out into the kitchen and sing yourself to sleep, or play with the sorcepins, or do something. We three 'ave got bisness to settle. You shunt, there's a good woman.'
'Not me,' she said definitely.
'Let her stop,' said Alfred; 'she won't be in the way.'
'A reg'lar soft you are,' growled Mr. Ladd, 'where there's a woman concerned. Mrs. Fayres, you've bin takin' stock of this lot for the last twen'y-five minutes. Now it's time to talk. ”

“ Hughes' Fields was a twin street to Deptford Green, but they did not precisely resemble each other, for Hughes' Fields had two entrances from Church Street, one under an archway, whilst Deptford Green had but one entrance, by the side of an old church. They were alike, however, in that each had wooden houses looking slightly awry, and brick houses, where you stepped directly from the cobblestoned pavement into the front-room; each was dimly lighted and had small beerhouses, which wasted no money on gas and added little to general illumination. ”

“ Since his last sintence he's been perfectly reformed, and he now earns a living in the greengrocery business.'
'Pleasant to know,' said Barraclough, looking around at the sacred pictures on the walls.
'Mother Fayres here,' went on the Inspector in the manner of a showman, 'as fine a woman as there is in all Deptford——'
'Mr. MacDonogh!' said the old lady.
'Keeps a second-hand furniture shop in the arches, and is an active politician with her own opinion on Home Rule. ”

“ If I do not at once summon the household, it is because I look upon you in the light of a human document.'
'Nice name to call anybody.'
'A human document,' repeated the severe lady, still cutting the air with her pince-nez, 'representative of that much-to-be-condoled-with class for whom at this very moment a concert is being held in my drawing-room. I am an active worker in the cause of reclamation, and it is not, I confess, altogether uninteresting for me to meet one of them face to face. ”

“ Give us a lift with this bag.'
'It ain't full, neither,' growled the short man. 'Can't stand cheps what 'alf do a job.' They adjusted a tarpaulin sheet over the sack and heaped upon and around it a mountain of broccoli. One of the round white-faced heads fell off. 'There's another bloomin' twopence gone,' said the short man.
'Wouldn't be you, Ladd, if you 'adn't got a grievance.'
Mr. Ladd, stamping round in a splay-footed way to the wind-blown little pony, whisked off the cloth. Then, taking a hand from Alfred Bateson, he swung himself up on the seat ”

“ Only I must have the truth.'
'As to that,' said Alfred Bateson, as he completed the task of replacing the silver articles in the safe, 'I may 'ave me faults, lady, and I should be sorry to argue that I was abs'lutely perfect; but if it's truth you want, you couldn't have come to a better man. ”

“ The lad, overcome with remorse upon hearing this, made abject apology, extolling the virtues of her aunt to such an extent that there seemed some reason to fear he would offend in an opposite direction; but he stopped in time, and the girl graciously according pardon, he was permitted to kiss her hand, and the two went into the drawing-room together. Someone was speaking now—a clergyman, Alfred Bateson thought, for he was appealing for funds.
'To carry on this great work, my friends, money is wanted. Five shillings may save a convicted man's soul ”

“ Have you done playing about with them goods?'
'It's a dangerous game,' she said mournfully, rising from her knees. 'Elf, my boy, you stop whilst you're lucky. Honesty's the best policy, although, of course, it don't pay very well. ”

“ How vas I to know you don't vant me to read your ledders?'
'For two pins,' said Alfred Bateson with fierceness, 'for two small or'inary pins I'd take 'old of you by the scruff of your neck and——'
'My fellow,' interrupted the German nervously, 'you make nonsense remarks. You are a lucky man to have a goot girl in love with you ”