Patsy

“ THE BEGINNING OF ADVENTURE
“The time has come, O Wayfarers, to think of many things,” gaily declaimed Patsy, bursting into the somber, high-ceilinged, dark-paneled sitting-room where Miss Martha, Beatrice, Mabel and Eleanor sat around a massive mahogany table, busily engaged in writing letters.
“Go away, Patsy,” laughingly admonished Mabel, pen suspended in mid-air over her note paper. “You’re a disturber. You’ve made me forget what I was going to write next. If you won’t be a letter-writer, don’t be a nuisance.” ”

“ Patsy had as quickly decided what he would do. He knew he could not leap down from his unsteady perch undetected and retreat farther into the alley. He took, therefore, his only chance to escape observation, knowing that he could not hold up the intruder without alarming his confederates. Firmly grasping the stone sill of the window, he drew up his legs and raised his feet from the top of the door, hoping the man would pass under him and enter without seeing him. ”

“ Patsy, faring leisurely westward to meet the Princess in the park and be driven home, at the corner of Lyonesse House, just where you turn towards the green of the tree-tops discerned at the street's end, came within the sound of a mighty voice.
A tall, heavily built man of fierce aspect and red choleric face was picking himself up off the ground, opposite a house from which he had been forcibly ejected, and a crowd of ordinary street loafers was gathering about. ”

“ The Young Doctor burst out laughing. “‘The Blessed Mary, or the Almighty himself—not even you!’ Well, Patsy, you’re a wonder,” he said.
“Aw, you’re not goin’ to get off by scoffin’ at me,” remarked Patsy. “Shure, what did Augustus Burlingame say of you?—well now, what did he say?”
“Yes, Patsy, what was it?” urged the other. “Shure, he criticized you. He called you ‘Squills,’ and said you’d helped more people intil the wurruld than out of it.”
“You call that criticism. Patsy?”
“Whichever way you look at it, hasn’t it an ugly face? Is it a kindness to man to bring him into the wurruld? ”

“ Chance played into Patsy's hands when he returned to the glade. Two of the men had been quarreling, and they had taken the centre of the glade to settle their differences; and there a ring had formed around them—a ring which comprised almost every man of the outfit.
The point was that the attention of everybody was diverted from Patsy, and, merely bestowing a single glance upon what was taking place, he hurried silently past them—it was almost dark now—and in a moment more had passed through the pathway to the clearing around the cottage. ”

“ But the Duke of Lyonesse was in the highest spirits and really gave himself to his task, knitting his brows and striving to follow Patsy's instructions to the letter.
"It is a long time since I heard so much truth about myself," said the Duke. "I own I am both stupid and awkward, but then, by gad, I am willing to learn!"
"People who are stupid and awkward ought not to offer," said Patsy. "I am sure that Captain Laurence, whom you sent away, could do it a great deal better."
"I can't give up the honour even to my friend Laurence," said the Prince. "In for a penny, in for a pound. ”

“ Then Patsy knew exactly what to think. For her Uncle Julian had told her that when a man is in love, he becomes colour blind. When asked how he knew, Julian said that once on a time he had friends who used to confide their love affairs to him. But he smiled as he said it—the believe-as-much-of-that-as-you-like smile which was Patsy's own, and was her heritage from a less grave race than the Ferrises of Cairn Ferris. ”

“ There it was—the back of a fast-retreating man in a Balmacaan coat of Scotch tweed and a round, plush hat, turning the corner to Madison Avenue. Patsy groaned inwardly when she saw the outlines of the figure; they were so conventional, so disappointing; they lacked simplicity and directness—two salient life principles with Patsy.
“Pshaw! What’s in a back?” muttered Patsy. “He may be a man, for all his clothes;” and she took to her heels after him.
As she reached the corner he jumped on a passing car going south. ”

“ My father, who had been a handsome man in his youth and knew the ways of women, urged Patsy a thousand times to make it up quickly with his wife, telling him to put his arms round her and kiss her and all would be well. ‘Thou mayest know much about the telenafo, and how to keep thunder and lightning in pots,’ said my wise father, ‘but assuredly, Patsy, thou art ignorant of the hearts of women.’ He told him that Java was already repentant and ashamed, and, like a person on the top of a high wall, a push would send her either way. ”

“ Patsy looked embarrassed, ate his bit of bun in silence, and after twirling his hat-crown for a few seconds hitched out of the door with a backward glance and muttered remark which must have been intended for farewell.
CHAPTER III. TWO 'PRENTICE HANDS AT PHILANTHROPY.
"With aching hands and bleeding feet,
We dig and heap, lay stone on stone;
We bear the burden and the heat
Of the long day and wish 't were done.
Not till the hours of light return
All we have built do we discern." ”

“ Patsy was not Irish. He was an Italian from Tuscany; a farmer and forester by birth and breeding, a soldier by compulsion, an American citizen by choice.
"Fine!" said Patsy. "Fine. Ver' good. You do well."
They went over the ground together. "Could you build a little house here?" said Arnold. "Could you bring your wife? ”

“ I’m an artist,” said Patsy, lest these inquiries might reach the ears of the said Toby Monk.
“He’s a chauffeur,” replied the storekeeper. “He owns a car and runs it as a jitney part of the time, when he’s not driving for a man who frequently employs him.”
“What man is that?” inquired Patsy, suppressing any betrayal of his elation. ”

“ Conacher looked as frightened as every well-disposed man is supposed to be at his wedding; and large fat tears rolled down the bridesmaid’s dark cheeks. Up to the moment of donning his vestments Patsy joked outrageously; he then became the priest of God. In a free and natural state of society these abrupt contrasts are perfectly well understood. Nobody thought the less of Patsy because he was a man as well as a priest.
Patsy and Mary-Lou conspired together to produce the wedding-feast; and the result, considering the meager resources of Pinnacle House, astonished everybody. ”

“ At this Louis sulked a little, so little indeed that no one but Patsy could have noticed. But she was down upon him like a hawk on a field mouse.
"See here," said Patsy, "this is no stock-in-trade to start out on. You sulk at the first mention of a man's name. I shall see hundreds in London. You will see as many women. I am only a little country girl staying with a great Princess, while you will be the heir to an earldom, besides having all the prestige of the uniform. ”

“ It was Patsy who sorted the wools and threaded the needles, and set right the sewing-cards of the babies; and only the initiated can comprehend the labyrinthine maze into which an energetic three-year-old can transform a bit of sewing. ”

“ We made a good deal of Patsy. We pretended that he was very, very old and sophisticated—not a difficult task—and deferred to his judgment on all occasions. But in spite of this Patsy never became “fresh.” To be sure, he speedily began calling Fosgill “Bull,” but I don’t think he meant the slightest disrespect; every one called the big fellow “Bull,” and it is quite possible that Patsy believed it to be a title of honor. He was attentive to all of us, but his heart was Fosgill’s. ”

“ Helen, the children say that a family of Kennetts live at 32 Anna Street, and I am going to see why Patsy didn't come. Oh yes, I know that there are boys enough without running after them, but we must have this particular boy, whether he wants to come or not, for he is sui generis. ”

“ She’s a beaut!” exclaimed Patsy. “She looks about as big as a haystack, and a durned sight more dangerous! Straight for us, chief! That’s how she’s coming!”
Patsy was holding to the side of the car with a convulsive clutch, as he watched the gigantic stone skipping down the mountain. ”

“ The camp was in an uproar. Never had Patsy been out at night. It could not be allowed! The Twins went off in one direction, the boys in others. The girls scattered through woods and along the shore. Nancy knew his favorite haunts. But Patsy was not under the great beech tree where the squirrels chattered. He was not cushioned in the fragrant cedar-bushes over the wall in the country of the field-mice. The dell under the great pine told no news of him. Dick found no print of little feet in the mud of the brook, or in the sand of the bathing beach. ”

“ In that case, Patsy, you may have a chance to bag the men who slipped through my hands.”
“Nothing would please me better,” was Patsy’s retort, and Nick laughed at the boy’s eagerness.
“I bet Patsy will strike the fellows before you can say Jack Robinson,” put in Chick, with a grin.
“You win your bet,” said Patsy, coolly. “I think I can put you on the trail of at least one of the men you want. The other fellow will have to stand till I look around a little.” ”

“ Patsy met her at the train in New York and embraced her rapturously. Patsy was really fond of Beth; but it was her nature to be fond of everyone, and her cousin, escaping from her smacking and enthusiastic kisses, told herself that Patsy would have embraced a cat with the same spontaneous ecstacy. That was not strictly true, but there was nothing half hearted or halfway about Miss Doyle. If she loved you, there would never be an occasion for you to doubt the fact. It was Patsy's way.
Uncle John also was cordial in his greetings. ”

“ A woman takes what comes—especially if she is obliged to."
Patsy regarded him indignantly.
"There are many kinds of women," she began.
"Thank heaven!" exclaimed Maurie, and then she realized how futile it was to argue with him.
A little later she walked on deck with Uncle John and pleaded her cause earnestly. It was said by those who knew him well that the kindly little gentleman was never able to refuse Patsy anything for long, and he was himself so well aware of this weakness that he made a supreme effort to resist her on this occasion. ”

“ Near where he stood was a door which he thought led into the offices of the kennel club. He dodged through it to find he was correct in his surmise as well as to face the prominent banker.
“What now, Patsy?” asked the banker.
“Only a little makeup,” replied Patsy. “I think I’m on to something, and am going to try it.”
Much to the interest and amusement of the banker, he drew from his pocket a wig, which he slipped on, and a false mustache, using some color to change his face and eyebrows.
“Oh, for another coat and hat!” cried Patsy, casting longing eyes on those worn by the banker. ”

“ Her face kindles with love whenever she hears your name, and I assure you Patsy is not behind her in this. She remembers you with warm affection, recollects that she was bequeathed to you, and looks to you as her best future guide and guardian. She will have to learn from you things which she can not learn here, and which after all are among the most valuable parts of education for an American. ”

“ Never had Marian beheld such a wealth of color as was displayed in Patsy’s winter wardrobe. Orange and red sweaters; great, broad scarfs of mixed grays; gay tams; short plaid skirts; heavy brown corduroy knickers; these and many other garments of exquisite workmanship and design were spread out before her.
“And the fun of it all is,” giggled Patsy, “we’re going to play we’re twins and wear one another’s clothes. You’ve got a spotted fawnskin parka, I know you have. ”

“ He pushed the wad of paper back into the peephole, and let himself out of the closet to the room where Patsy was still on guard.
“Seen anybody, Patsy?”
“Not a soul. Have you?”
Chick chuckled softly, as he laid a hand on Patsy to keep him quiet.
“I’ve seen several persons, Patsy. Among them is [56] the man the chief is so anxious to take, T. Burton Potter.”
“I wonder why the chief is so bent on getting him,” remarked Patsy as, with Chick, they tiptoed to the door of the parlor, and stood for a moment in the dark hall. ”

“ In the meantime, Patsy had been in half a dozen different kinds of a brown study. He realized that now the entire situation depended solely upon him, and that the lives of his chief, and of Chick and Ten-Ichi, rested wholly in his hands.
He stood, be it said, all alone, in the midst of a huge swamp, from which escape could only be had by means of a boat, and into which he had been conducted blindfolded. Around him were men, all ready at any instant to take his life for the merest excuse ”

“ Even now, though he put his leg over the sill of the window, he would not have dared to enter the room, for that would have been housebreaking; but nothing could be done to a man for simply standing at a window and “colloguing” with his nephew. If Mrs Kinsella had appeared armed with a broom he would have run like a scared rabbit; but Patsy did not know this, Patsy took his uncle on his face value, and certainly Con’s face was of more value to him in affairs of this sort than his heart, for his face was the face of a formidable and villainous-looking rogue. ”

“ Loring, who was sewing by the table, while Patsy arranged her paper dolls. It was a rainy afternoon, and therefore the dolls were in demand.
"Oh, you have no shut-up rooms and secrets. Our house is full of skeletons. It is hateful."
"E-liz-a-beth!" exclaimed Patsy. "What in the world do you mean?"
"Well, how would you like to have a room in the house with a padlock on it that you never could go into, and have Aunt Caroline hush you up every time you asked about it? I have been there, though," and she nodded her head mysteriously.
Patsy left her paper dolls and drew nearer. ”

“ Patsy wondered if he could possibly close them. The eyelids seemed to be shy and retiring.
"I seen what I seen," continued the little man, glancing impressively at his attentive audience. "I seen Cap'n Wegg livin' without workin', fer he never lifted a hand to do even a chore. I seen him jest settin' 'round an' smokin' his pipe an' a glowerin' like a devil on ev'ryone thet come near. Say, once he ordered me off'n his premises—me!"
"What a dreadful man," said Patsy. "Did he buy any 'Lives of the
Saints?'"
"Not a Life. ”