Pilar

“ Pilar, incapable of any sort of moral reasoning, was determined to be loved; she described her passion with a species of wild eloquence, saying and believing that it was chaste, because it was not governed by the senses, and sublime, because it had all the fervor of an unbridled imagination and a wilful temper. She heaped curses upon Lauriane and bitter reproaches upon Mario, exhibiting her mad passion shamelessly before poor Clindor, who took fire beside that volcano. ”

“ When they returned, Pilar had news. Carmona, with the Duchess, Lady Vale-Avon, and Monica had all been at the theatre in a box.
“I knew that girl was beautiful,” said Pilar, “but I didn't know how beautiful until to-night! With her pearly skin and golden hair among all the dark heads, she gleamed like a pearl amid carbuncles, and everyone was looking at her. You know how we admire fair beauties, and how we expect to adore the young queen when she comes? Well, if it had been Princess Ena [pg 141] herself, people could hardly have stared more, and the Duke was delighted. ”

“ Of these ephemeral successes Perico Gonzalvo had had many; his sister not one, in spite of repeated efforts on her part to obtain one. She did not succeed even in being tolerated or admitted. The world is wide for men, but narrow, narrow for women. Pilar always felt the invisible barrier that raised itself between her and those noblemen’s daughters whose brothers associated so familiarly with Perico. ”

“ It was on the second Sunday after their arrival in Paris that the children came to visit their mother. Pilar looked forward with some uneasiness to Wilhelm's first meeting with them, and he too felt far from comfortable when Pilar brought a half-grown girl and a ten-year old boy to him, and addressing herself to them said, "Embrace Monsieur le Docteur, and look at him well. He is the best friend your mother has on earth. You must love him very much, for he deserves it." ”

“ While Perico and Miranda kept off the blues in this way, Pilar’s remaining lung was gradually being consumed, as a plank is consumed with dry-rot. She did not grow worse because that was now impossible, and her existence, rather than life, was a lingering death, not very painful, disturbed only by an occasional fit of coughing which threatened to choke her. ”

“ I tell you, I tell you, there was nothing between Artegui and Lucía, Lucía. I’d bet a hundred dollars this moment, this moment——”
“And I,” insisted Pilar, with the clairvoyance of an invalid, “can assure you that as far as she is concerned—as for him I have not seen him, if I were to see him I should know—but as for her, I heard her heave sigh after sigh—and they were not for Miranda. She is pensive at times, and then again she brightens and laughs and is like a child.” ”

“ Pilar was delighted. She was far too wise not to know that honeymoons do not last forever, and although she was persuaded that she, for her part, would never desire anything better than to be always at Wilhelm's side, passing the time in interminable conversations about herself and himself, in kissing and fondling, she quite understood that that was not enough to satisfy a man accustomed to a wider range of pursuits. She had looked forward with anxiety to the moment when mere love-making would pall upon him, and he would begin to be bored, and wish for a change. ”

“ They were those of Miranda and Perico, who manifested some surprise at finding Lucía and Pilar in the park at this late hour.
“A pretty way, a pretty way to cure yourself! The devil! you’ll be lucky if you don’t get an attack of pneumonia for this! get up, you crazy girl; come, come!”
Pilar rose, weak and pale, and took Miranda’s arm. Perico offered his to Lucía, whose natural vigor of constitution had by this time got the better of her momentary faintness. ”

“ Pilar said. “Don't you know that? But then, you haven't been in Spain long—except in your thoughts. That's expected; just as a girl must politely kiss her hand to a bull-fighter if he kisses his to her; for if she doesn't, she puts the evil-eye upon him; and like as not he's gored the next time he goes into the arena. Oh, I love the coplas! And wasn't that woman singing in good Spanish? Even the common people speak well here, for Valladolid and Toledo Spanish is the best in Spain.” ”

“ Sister Assumcion (sobbing) : They are carrying the Host to Trotaconventos.
All three kneel down and cross themselves. The sound of the bell and the cry of “el Señor” grow fainter and fainter in the distance; when it can be heard no more, they rise. Sister Pilar draws her hand over her eyes, then opens them, blinking a little and gazing round as if bewildered.
Sister Pilar: Yes ... Corpus Christi ... and then Ascension ... and then Pentecost ... round and round ... Hours ... el Señor wins in His Octave.... Is He the living or the dead, Don Manuel? ”

“ Pilar divined easily enough what was passing in Wilhelm's mind at sight of the children. She never let them come to the house again, but henceforth went to see them at their respective homes. He was sure that they liked coming to the Boulevard Pereire, and was sorry that they should miss this pleasure on his account. Pilar begged him, however, not to allude to the subject again—he was dearer to her than her children, and there was nothing she would not do to spare him a moment's unpleasantness. ”

“ When Pilar heard the opinion of the Esculapius she threw her arms around Perico’s neck in a transport of sisterly affection such as she had never before manifested. She employed a thousand wiles to obtain her desire; she grew gentle, obedient, prudent in all things, and promised all and more than all that was asked of her.
“Periquin, precious, come, say that you will take me. Say that you will take me, silly. There is no one in the world to be compared to you. ”

“ Padre Paoletti told me that you had come and gone early; and I quite understood it. I long to talk to you and comfort you....”
“Comfort me?” said María much puzzled, “for my loneliness, my solitude ... but I have suffered long in silence, and the Lord has not denied me sweet consolation. What are we here for but to suffer? We have only to get that well into our minds and then no grief can find us unprepared.”
“Oh!” cried Pilar with eager admiration and kissing her friend, “how good you are! What a saint! What a beautiful exception in this wretched world! ”

“ María had no tears; her eyes were dry and sparkling. The marquesa puckered her face up to shed a tear she had ready, as we are prepared with sighs as we enter the house of death.
“Do not suppress your grief, my darling child. I see you know the worst. I would not have told you for fear of agitating your tender soul ... be calm. Pilar has told you? It is horrible, atrocious! but perhaps not irremediable.... For days I have been miserable; but be calm; let me see you resigned.”
Pilar thought it was her turn to speak again.
“The atrocity,” she said, “is all the greater under the circumstances. ”

“ Pilar returned reproachfully, "don't you know that my tailor respects himself far too much to send home one of his creations before the last moment?"
"It is always the same story," he complained mournfully; "I am to arrange a coiffure for Madame la Comtesse, the coiffure is to harmonize with the whole, and I am not permitted to see the robe." ”

“ She inhaled the odor of each in turn, passing her fingers over their leaves without daring to pluck them. At this hour the roses had scarcely any perfume; what she perceived was, rather, the aroma of the general freshness and moistness that rose from the beds of flowers and from the surrounding trees. In Vichy there are trees everywhere; in the afternoon, when Lucía and Pilar went out to see something of the town, they uttered exclamations of delight at every turn at the sight of some tree, some alley, or some park. Pilar{191} thought Vichy had an elegant aspect ”

“ It is evident from what we know of Pilar, that she clung tenaciously to her belief that I had wantonly left my home, and that she was not disposed to give the slightest information which might lead to restoring my children to me."
"Dear madre," Anita lifted her mother's hand and kissed it. "How could anyone who ever knew you believe that you would be so heartless? ”

“ Pilar hesitated long, like a child before a dish of various kinds of sweetmeats; at last she made choice of two diamonds, clear as two drops of water, for her ears, and a hand mirror, with a frame of chased gold, a novel and fanciful trinket worn hanging from the belt, a style of{243} ornament which no one in Vichy but the Swede had yet been seen to wear. On returning home with her purchases, the sick girl’s eyes shone so brightly and her cheeks were so rosy that Perico said:
“You women are the very devil. ”

“ Pilar left Manila for the peninsula about the end of ’88 for fear of deportation: a punishment at that time staring him in the face. He was one of the earliest workers on the “La Solidaridad”, the official organ of Filipino freemasonry in all its sections. He later on became its director.
Pilar was another of the many malays whose ways were beyond human comprehension. Spaniards who have lived a life-time among the indians and studied them carefully from all points of view agree that the deeper one studies the native character the more incomprehensible it becomes. ”

“ It will tire you," said Pilar.
She wanted to be off, to have it all over with as quickly as possible. She knew that if her grandfather told her a story about the castanets, it would be even harder to part with them. Poor Pilar! If she had listened to just one of those legends, she would not have dared to sell the wooden clappers. ”

“ The Swede is beautiful! Her complexion is whiter than milk, and then her eyes——”
“Put no confidence in whiteness,” interposed Pilar, “while Venus’s towel and Paris white are to be bought. She is too large.”
“Too tall,” declared Perico, like the fox in the fable.
“Never mind,” said Miranda, in a low voice, to Pilar. “We will make that obstinate brother of yours listen to reason, and you shall go some night to the Casino. A pretty thing it would be if you were to leave Vichy without seeing the theater and listening to the concert. ”

“ While Pilar amused herself in a manner so agreeable to her inclinations, Lucía sat waiting for her on the balcony of the châlet. At this hour neither Miranda nor Perico was in the house. The Casino had swallowed up every one. Only at rare intervals was a passer-by to be seen in this retired neighborhood. The only sound to be heard was the monotonous noise of the machine on which the daughter of the concierge was sewing. In the garden, the roses, drunk with the sunshine which they had been quaffing all the morning, exhaled themselves in perfumes ”

“ Madre María del Pilar had come to hate all men, but she grew fond of Manuel and Esteban. In the late afternoon she would call them into her office, send for some cakes from the kitchen, and tell them stories about the Cid and Judas Maccabeus and the thirty-six misfortunes of Harlequin. She grew to love them so, that she would catch herself gazing deep into their black and frowning eyes, looking for those traits that would appear when they grew to be men, all that ugliness, all that soullessness that made hideous the world she worked in. ”

“ As before, the news of our presence seemed to flash through the air and bring, in the same mysterious way, an audience out of empty space. Pilar said that the people who came were in reality wild birds, seen by our sophisticated eyes in the form of human beings; and as if they had been wild birds, we coaxed them, till they trusted us and fed with us, drinking from our wineskin the blood of the Spanish grape, almost innocent of alcohol. ”

“ Pilar met Juan Sanchez at the door of his tiny shop.
"Good morning, Señorita (sā ́nyō-rē ́-tä) Pilar," he smiled.
He was glad to see Pilar. Everyone in Spain is always glad to see children. This is a good thing, because Spain is overflowing with children.
"Good morning, Señor (sā-nyōr ́) Juan," said the little girl. Then, timidly she held up the faded old cape. "Will you buy this from me?" she asked. "My grandfather is ill, and I must have money to pay for food and medicine." ”

“ The Little Spanish Dancer CHAPTER I
THE MAGIC CASTANETS
Pilar was dancing in the Murillo (mū̍-rĭl ́ō) Garden. It was a beautiful public garden named after the great Spanish painter, Murillo, who died in a house near by.
Pilar had been born ten years ago in this old city of Seville (sē̍-vĭl ́) . If you had asked Pilar, "Where is New York?" she would doubtless have laughed with her lovely dark eyes and inquired, "Is it in Seville?" Because, to Pilar, as to most of her friends, there was only one world, and that world was Seville. ”

“ Often she [Pg 170] had passed the window of his dancing school. She had watched the fortunate pupils and listened to the strains of a tango and the clatter of castanets.
Upon the walls of the school were colored posters showing scenes of bullfights. Girls and boys, young and old, stamped their feet and twirled to fiery music.
It had always made Pilar's heart beat faster. She had longed to join them. But lessons were only for wealthy children and—
"But, señor," said Pilar's grandfather, as if he had been reading Pilar's mind, "we have no money to spend on lessons." ”

“ The only person, then, who devoted herself to the task of making Pilar observe the regimen prescribed by the doctor, was Lucía. She did so, moved by that need of self-sacrifice experienced by young and vigorous natures, who must have an outlet for their superabundant energy, and by the instinct which impels such natures to feed the animal neglected by every one else, or to protect the child abandoned in the street. ”