Nursemaid

“ And the young nursemaid, too, with the children in her care, whom she often leaves to bump against trees, or to fall as they run hither and thither, while she is gossiping with other maids on the subject of their employers, which is much more amusing than to watch children. ”

“ We cannot help in this place adverting to the habit so frequently adopted by nursery maids, of dragging the child by the arm during the process of teaching it to walk. The unhappy infant is consigned to the care of an inexperienced nursemaid, who, in her anxiety to pass a crossing, seizes the baby by the hand, and literally drags it across, regardless of the child's feet not touching the ground. ”

“ Such are the cares which devolve upon the nurse, and it is her duty to fulfil them personally. In large establishments she will have assistance proportioned to the number of children of which she has the care. The under nursemaid lights the fires, sweeps, scours, and dusts the rooms, and makes the beds, empties slops and carries up water, brings up and removes the nursery meals, washes and dresses all the children, except the infant, and assists in mending. Where there is a nursery girl to assist, she does the rougher part of the cleaning ”

“ There is a considerable art in carrying an infant comfortably for itself and for the nursemaid. If she carry it always seated upright on her arm, and presses it too closely against her chest, the stomach of the child is apt to get compressed, and the back fatigued. For her own comfort, a good nurse will frequently vary this position, by changing from one arm to the other, and sometimes by laying it across both, raising the head a little. When teaching it to walk, and guiding it by the hand, she should change the hand from time to time, so as to avoid raising one shoulder higher than the other. ”

“ If all normal women are to be mothers, as they should, how are any specialists to be hired in private homes? A young nursemaid cannot reach the heights of training and experience needed. As to teaching the mother—who is to teach her? ”

“ I believe the nurses enjoyed the assimilation of the raw product, much as a groom likes the interest afforded by an unbroken colt, and they found the patronage among the mothers of the disciples a useful asset. In later years, Martin was discoursing of her nursery life, with her foster-mother, who had also been her nurse, Nurse B., a most agreeable person, gifted with a saturnine humour that is not infrequent in our countrywomen.
“Sure didn’t I ketch Kit Sal one time”— (the reigning nursemaid) —“an’ she bating and kicking yerself on the avenue!” Nurse B. began. ”

“ All I can say here is to beseech every mother to be absolutely careful about the antecedents of her nursemaids, and only to admit those of unblemished character into the precincts of the nursery. Never, if possible, let your baby boy sleep with any one but yourself, if through illness or any other cause he cannot sleep in his own little cot. ”

“ THE MOTHER WHO ONLY NURSES HER INFANT WHEN IT SUITS HER CONVENIENCE OUGHT NOT.—The mother who cannot make up her mind exclusively to devote herself to the duties of a nurse, and give up all engagements that would interfere with her health, and so with the formation of healthy milk, and with the regular and stated periods of nursing her infant, ought never to suckle. It is unnecessary to say why; but I think it right, for the child's sake, to add, that if it does not sicken, pine, and die, disease will be generated in its constitution, to manifest itself at some future period. ”

“ After a long time she would be taken up to the nursery. If the baby was asleep, she would stand beside the crib, her hands clasped, tears raining down her face. She would wait patiently until it awoke. Then she would lift the sturdy little thing, strain it to her childish breast, kiss its faint, silky hair, and press her own cheek against its plump one. She scarcely dared to whisper her passionate endearments, for the trained nurse was always there, looking at her critically.
“I don't like to see her pick up the baby,” the nurse said to Mrs. Tracy. “She doesn't look healthy.” ”

“ The maternity nurse almost inevitably becomes deeply attached to her baby patient, whether he is sick or well, and she is eager to protect him and safeguard him as long as possible. She may continue to serve him, even after he has passed from her trained hands, if she will teach his mother how to take care of him, should she be inexperienced, particularly if the young mother is to have full charge of her baby after the nurse leaves, or is to have only the assistance of a partly trained nursery maid. ”

“ On the other hand, if you are seeking a wet-nurse for an infant of four or five months old, it would be very prejudicial to transfer the child to a woman recently delivered; the milk would be too watery for its support, and its health in consequence would give way.
THE NURSE HERSELF SHOULD NOT BE TOO OLD!—A vigorous young woman from twenty-one to thirty admits of no question. And the woman who has had one or two children before is always to be preferred, as she will be likely to have more milk, and may also be supposed to have acquired some experience in the management of infants. ”

“ The nurse is in the most effective position possible, to help in dispelling maternal ignorance, during the long days of pleasant intimacy which she and the young mother spend together in devotion to the baby. And by helping the inexperienced young mother to give skilful care to her baby, with all of the gentleness and tenderness that a mother can lavish, the nurse will not only serve the baby; she also will awaken for many a young woman, an interest that will be ever fresh and absorbing, and point the way to unexpected joys and delights in her motherhood. ”

“ I never was fond of being troubled with children. When my own grow up into childhood I shall deem the nursery and the schoolroom the fitter place for them. What I trust I shall never give up to another, will be the training of my children," pursued Barbara. "Let the offices properly pertaining to a nurse be performed by the nurse—of course, taking care that she is thoroughly to be depended on. Let her have the trouble of the children, their noise, their romping; in short, let the nursery be her place, and the children's. ”

“ This aspect of maternity nursing—what it means to the nurse herself—should be given full recognition, for although the demands which are made upon her are exacting, she will find more than compensating interest and gratification in her work.
It provides a channel of expression for some of her most elemental and deeply rooted impulses. The desire to create exists within most of us, and surely the nurse tastes of the joys of creation when she watches the beautiful baby body grow and develop under her care. ”

“ The subjection of the will, in the first place, by mild yet firm and persevering conduct, will generally ensure success to the parent, and will save the child hours and even days of fretfulness and sorrow.
The employment of a nurse-maid is a responsible one; those who really perform their duty from pure and conscientious motives, will not lose their reward; and though such may feel themselves to be placed in a very humble situation, they are, in reality, laying the foundation for future happiness or misery. ”

“ Before she is employed the wet-nurse should always be carefully examined by a physician to insure her freedom from disease. The best age is between twenty and thirty years, and the age of the child of the nurse should be at least within a month of that of the child to be nursed. The best sign of the good health of the nurse and of the condition of her milk is furnished by the health of her own child. The breasts should be well formed and the nipple of good shape. It is well, if possible, to get a woman who has borne several children, as she will understand the care of the child better. ”

“ She must be content to see the infant turn from her to the nurse with whose face it has all its life been familiar; or to hear the little one tell her to go away, for her presence is associated with none of those 'familiar acts, made beautiful by love,' which win the young heart: the mother is but a stranger who brings no help, who relieves no distress. Happy such a mother if she has found a conscientious and intelligent nurse to whom she can delegate her office ”

“ A low-priced nurse is seldom a cheap one, as her shortcomings may be reflected in the health of the mother or the infant long after she has left the case. Especially when the baby is the first, the mother will depend upon the nurse for instruction which should be both sound and thorough. The principles taught her will be put into practice and utilized for many months, playing a vital part in the training of the infant. It becomes essential, therefore, to secure a nurse who will give the baby a good start, and instruct the mother along right lines. ”

“ For children sometimes bring health with them as well as infirmity; and it is not a little likely, that the nurse's office may affect the health of one I hold most dear, who has no very robust constitution, and thinks it so much her duty to attend to it, that she will abridge herself of half the pleasures of life, and on that account confine herself within doors, or, in the other case, must take with her her infant and her nursery-maid wherever she goes ”

“ Washing the baby is usually regarded by the young mother as a terrible ordeal. No nurse should leave her young-mother patient until she is fully able to perform this task. Let the mother watch, a few mornings, while the nurse does all the work, then let her undress the baby, when the nurse can take him and finish the operation. Day by day let her do a little more, as her strength and ambition permit, until at the end of a week she is fairly used to handling the child and can, perhaps, keep him until the last finishing touches are put on. ”

“ In a similar way as the detachment of the persecuting king from the father, the exclusive rôle of a wet nurse, alloted to the mother, in this substitution by an animal, goes back to the separation of the mother into the parts of the child bearer and the suckler. This cleavage is again subservient to the exalting tendency, in so far as the child bearing part is reserved for the high born mother, whereas the lowly woman, [Pg 89] who cannot be eradicated from the early history, must content herself with the function of a nurse. ”

“ It is only in the act of nursing that a woman realizes her motherhood in visible and tangible fashion; it is a joy of every moment. The milk becomes flesh before our eyes; it blossoms into the tips of those delicate flower-like fingers; it expands in tender, transparent nails; it spins the silky tresses; it kicks in the little feet. Oh! those baby feet, how plainly they talk to us! In them the child finds its first language.
Yes, Louise, nursing is a miracle of transformation going on before one's bewildered eyes. ”

“ In selecting a sick-nurse, let her be gentle, patient, cheerful, quiet, and kind, but firm withal; she ought to be neither old nor young: if she be old she is often garrulous and prejudiced, and thinks too much of her trouble; if she he young, she is frequently thoughtless and noisy; therefore choose a middle-aged woman. Do not let there be in the sick-room more than, besides the mother, one efficient nurse; a greater number can he of no service—they will only be in each other's way, and will distract the patient. ”

“ The average nurse has a deep maternal instinct. She may not be conscious of it as such, but it is this instinct which prompts her to select nursing from the wide range of occupations and professions which are open to her. And it is entirely natural that she should derive great satisfaction from this vicarious motherhood—this giving of her knowledge and skill in service to the woman with a baby in her arms. ”

“ Not but that his nurse is good for the child. Very likely it would not answer for educated people to have their children always about them. The constant society of his parents might be too stimulating for the child; and frequent change of thought, and the society of other people, make the mother all the fresher for her children. But they should have the best of their mother, her freshest, brightest hours; while, at the same time, she is careful to choose her nurses wisely, train them carefully, and keep a vigilant eye upon all that goes on in the nursery. ”

“ For no nurse is apt to complain of her baby, she knows her business and her interest too well for that; she prefers to speak comfortable words, and vows the “little darling grows better and better every hour, God bless it!” and, so assured, the mother goes airily away, telling herself that her nurse is a perfect treasure. Whatever other nurses may do, she knows that her nurse is reliable. The fact is that, even where there are children in a nursery able to complain of the wrongs and cruelties they have to endure, they very seldom dare to do so. ”

“ He takes the child in its cradle, almost before its birth; he desires that mothers should fulfil the sacred duty of nursing them at the breast. If there must be a nurse, he knows how to choose her, how she ought to be treated, how she should be fed. He watches over the movements of the new-born child, over its first playthings. ”

“ Of course, a dimpled, rosy baby is a great temptation to the mother, especially when she is lying restfully in bed, with a nurse in attendance. It is so delightful to snuggle the baby against her, and cuddle its tiny fists, to smooth its soft cheek and silky hair. But every time baby’s sleep is interrupted by these maternal pettings, mother is laying foundations for future trouble. When she is up and about, with no nurse to relieve her, and household duties to perform, she will wish that she had trained baby to sleep to the limit of his desires and inclinations. ”