The conflict between humility and pride: Finding the balanced self

“ Love humility in all its instances, practise it in all its parts; condescend to all the weakness and infirmities of your fellow-creatures, cover their frailties, love their excellencies, encourage their virtues, relieve their wants, rejoice in their prosperities, compassionate their distress, receive their friendship, overlook their unkindness, forgive their malice, be a servant of servants, and condescend to do the lowest offices to the lowest of mankind.
Aspire after nothing but an interest in the righteousness of Jesus Christ; and as a consequence of that, your own purity and perfection. ”

“ And the exercises of humility which relate to God, are accompanied with the greatest satisfaction. It is impossible to express the delight which religious persons feel in the lowest prostrations of their soul before God; when having a deep sense of the divine Majesty, they sink (if I may so speak) to the bottom of their beings, and vanish and disappear in the presence of God, by a serious and affectionate acknowledgement of their own nothingness; when they understand the full sense of the psalmist’s exclamation, Lord, what is man? And can utter it with the same affection. ”

“ Self-abnegation and self-sacrifice have ever been the way of spiritual development; but we are prone to misunderstand and mistake the true interpretation of this admonition; men shut themselves in monasteries and women become nuns and recluses as a penance, in order to purchase, as it were, absolution (at-one-ness with The Absolute, which knows not sin) ”

“ This depravation of human nature must of necessity be entirely removed; and this can be effected only by serious repentance; by godly sorrow; by a faith that apprehends the remission of sin; by the mortification of sensual pleasure; and by the crucifixion of pride and self-love. For true repentance consists not in putting away gross and open sins only; but [pg 012] it requires that a man should enter his heart, and search into its inmost recesses. The secret parts, the windings and the turnings of iniquity are to be laid open ”

“ Self-love is the root of impenitence, and the cause of damnation. They who are controlled by self-love and self-honor are destitute of humility and a knowledge of sin; consequently, they never can obtain the remission of sin, though they seek it with tears ”

“ I believe no one who has any practice of the world, and can penetrate into the inward sentiments of men, [Pg 389] will assert that the humility which good-breeding and decency require of us, goes beyond the outside, or that a thorough sincerity in this particular is esteemed a real part of our duty. On the contrary, we may observe, that a genuine and hearty pride, or self-esteem, if well concealed and well founded, is essential to the character of a man of honour, and that there is no quality of the mind which is more indispensably requisite to procure the esteem and approbation of mankind. ”

“ When a man is true to self, to humanity, and to God, and so girds himself with the strength arising from confidence, he deserves the support, if not the admiration, of those with whom he is associated. ”

“ Do not let the thorns which appear in every vocation, or temporary despondency or disappointment, shake your purpose. You will never succeed while smarting under the drudgery of your occupation, if you are constantly haunted with the idea that you could succeed better in something else. Great tenacity of purpose is the only thing that will carry you over the hard places which appear in every career to ultimate triumph. This determination, or fixity of purpose, has a great moral bearing upon our success, for it leads others to feel confidence in us, and this is everything. ”

“ The man who aims to be himself will wish others to remain themselves, and will be the last to obtrude his personality in a disagreeable way upon them. Obedience, voluntary subjection to the will of others, is part of his self-training. He who cannot obey, cannot command. Nor is he one who lives for himself, is solitary or selfish. The characters who in history shine with the most marked individuality have been those who moved most actively among their fellow men.
True individuality is that confidence in self which arises from a knowledge of one’s own powers, their extent and their limitations. ”

“ The passion contrary to glory, proceeding from apprehension of our own infirmity, is called humility by those by whom it is approved; by the rest, dejection and poorness: which conception may be well or ill grounded; if well, it produceth fear to attempt any thing rashly; if ill, it utterly cows a man, that he neither dares speak publicly, nor expect good success in any action. ”

“ Then there is self-exaltation, another form of the works of self. Ah, how much pride and jealousy is there in the Christian world; how much sensitiveness to what men say of us or think of us; how much desire of human praise and pleasing men, instead of always living in the presence of God, with the one thought: "Am I pleasing to Him?" Christ said, "How can ye believe who receive honor one of another?" Receiving honor of one another renders a life of faith absolutely impossible. This self started from hell, it separated us from God, it is a cursed deceiver that leads us astray from Jesus. ”

“ No matter what a man does, he is not fully sane or human unless there is a spirit of freedom in him, a soul unconfined by purpose and larger than the practicable world. And this is really what those mean who inculcate the suppression of the self; they mean that its rigidity must be broken up by growth and renewal, that it must be more or less decisively “born again.” A healthy, self must be both vigorous and plastic, a nucleus of solid, well-knit private purpose and feeling, guided and nourished by sympathy. ”

“ The principle which animated the life now withdrawn from sight—which raised it above all its littlenesses and made it a witness for God and His Christ, constraining even the scoffers to feel the presence of “Him who is invisible”—this principle was self-sacrifice. So at least the imperfections of human speech lead us to call that which stands in antagonism to self-pleasing; but before Him to whom all things are open, what we so call is the purification and exaltation of that self in us which is the highest created reflex of His image—the growing up of it into His likeness for ever. ”

“ When I look back upon my own religious experience, or round upon the Church of Christ in the world, I stand amazed at the thought of how little humility is sought after as the distinguishing feature of the discipleship of Jesus. In preaching and living, in the daily intercourse of the home and social life, in the more special fellowship with Christians, in the direction and performance of work for Christ,—alas! how much proof there is that humility is not esteemed the cardinal virtue, the only root from which the graces can grow, the one indispensable condition of true fellowship with Jesus. ”

“ For no structure (so to speak) of virtue can possibly be raised in our soul unless first the foundations of true humility are laid in our heart, which being securely laid may be able to bear the weight of perfection and love upon them in such a way that, as we have said, we may first show to our brethren true humility from the very bottom of our heart, in nothing acquiescing in making them sad or in injuring them: and this we cannot possibly manage unless true self-denial, which consists in stripping and depriving ourselves of all our possessions, is implanted in us by the love of Christ. ”

“ And we could not possibly have a stronger reason for trying to learn the lesson of humility than this, that our receiving the grace of God, and consequently our usefulness, depends upon it. God will not give us his grace to enable us to be truly good and to make ourselves useful, unless we learn this lesson. And unless we have the grace of God, we cannot be useful. Like barren fig-trees we shall be useless cumberers of the ground.
Now let us look at one or two illustrations which show us how pride hinders the usefulness of men, while humility helps it. ”

“ It is not many Sundays ago that our Lord's words taught us humility by the spectacle of the Pharisee's pride contrasted with the publican's lowliness. Yet holy church repeats the same lesson to-day by telling us what our Lord thinks of one who is vain enough to take too high a place at the wedding-feast. And indeed, brethren, it takes much teaching for us to learn the corruption of our own hearts. If there is anybody we lack close acquaintance with, it is our own very selves. If there is one book harder for us to read than any other it is the book of our own hearts. ”

“ But beware of imitating hypocrites who, like the Pharisees, try to appear outwardly before men more holy than they know themselves in truth to be. Is it not utter folly to seek or desire human praise and glory for oneself or others, while within we are filled with shameful and grievous sins? Assuredly he who pursues such vanities can hope for no share in the good things of which we spoke just now, but shame will infallibly be his lot.
Keep thy worthlessness and thy sins ever before thine eyes, and [92] learn to know thyself that thou mayest grow in humility. ”

“ So those who give themselves up to the exterior employments of the ministry, before they are thoroughly grounded in the spirit of the gospel, strain their tender interior virtue, and produce only unclean or tainted fruit. All who undertake the pastoral charge, besides a thorough acquaintance with the divine law, and the maxims and spirit of the gospel, and experience, discretion, and a knowledge of the heart of man, or his passions, must have seriously endeavored to die to themselves by the habitual practice of self-denial, and a rooted humility ”

“ Place yourself before God in your utter helplessness; consent heartily to the fact of your impotence to slay or make alive yourself; sink down into your own nothingness, in the spirit of meek and patient and trustful surrender to God. Accept every humiliation, look upon every fellow-man who tries or vexes you, as a means of grace to humble you. Use every opportunity of humbling yourself before your fellow-men as a help to abide humble before God. ”

“ Being occupied with self, even amid the deepest self-abhorrence, can never free us from self. It is the revelation of God, not only by the law condemning sin but by His grace delivering from it, that will make us humble. The law may break the heart with fear; it is only grace that works that sweet humility which becomes a joy to the soul as its second nature. It was the revelation of God in His holiness, drawing nigh to make Himself known in His grace, that made Abraham and Jacob, Job and Isaiah, bow so low. ”

“ the only humility that is really ours is not that which we try to show before God in prayer, but that which we carry with us, and carry out, in our ordinary conduct; the insignificances of daily life are the importances and the tests of eternity, because they prove what really is the spirit that possesses us. ”

“ But such a commendation of human excellence as teaches man to be satisfied with himself, only enamours him of his own amiableness, and thus produces an illusion which involves those who assent to it in most dreadful perdition. For to what purpose is it for us, relying on every vain confidence, to deliberate, to determine, and to attempt things which we think tend to our advantage, and in our first efforts, to find ourselves destitute of sound understanding and true virtue, yet securely to proceed, till we fall into destruction? ”

“ Faith seeks .the glory that comes from God, that only comes where God is All. As long as we take glory from one another, as long as ever we seek and love and jealously guard the glory of this life, the honor and reputation that comes from men, we do not seek, and cannot receive the glory that comes from God. Pride renders faith impossible. Salvation comes through a cross and a crucified Christ. Salvation is the fellowship with the crucified Christ in the Spirit of His cross. Salvation is union with and delight in, salvation is participation in, the humility of Jesus. ”

“ A genuine humility will ever feel the need of the largest measures of grace, and will be perfected just in the degree in which that grace is bestowed. The truly humble man will seek to be filled with all the fulness of God, knowing that when so filled there is not the slightest place for pride or for self.—George Bowen. ”

“ Now we have already shown, that self-love is corrupt, impure, unjust, abominable, and unnatural, the seed and root of all evil, the parent of weakness, blindness, error, and death. And the fruit or joy arising from it is of the same sort, unjust, impure, opposed to God, to our neighbor, and to all righteousness; it rejoices in iniquity, and contempt of God. And if it be a sin only to love anything which God hateth, how much more grievous a sin must it be to delight and rejoice in it? ”

“ Add to these the jealousies, the revenge, the secret feuds and envyings, the unforgiving spirit, the injustice and hypocrisy, the frauds and calumnies, the lies and perjuries, together with all the impurity and unrighteousness with which the world so exceedingly abounds. In short, the whole life of the children of this generation consists of the love of the world, self-love, self-honor, and self-seeking. ”

“ As the love of God dilates and enlarges the soul, so the love of ourselves contracts and straitens it, making it unjust, corrupt, proud, and covetous. As the love of God makes us quiet, easy, peaceable, and benevolent; so the love of ourselves makes us unquiet, turbulent, and ill-natured. As the love of God reinstates us in the liberty of the sons of God; so self-love makes us slaves to the creatures. The one gives us firmness and constancy of mind and will; the other makes us inconstant and changeable. The one makes a man courteous, courageous, generous, and obliging ”

“ Remember also that it is not the grosser passions and forms of vice alone that darken the understanding and alienate the heart from the truth. Pride, vanity, ambition, avarice—in a word, the spirit of self-seeking and self-exaltation in every form—will effectually hinder the man in whose bosom they bear sway from coming to the knowledge of the truth; for they will incline him to seek a religion which flatters him and promises him impunity in sin, and will fatally prejudice him against a system of doctrines and duties so holy and humbling as that contained in the Bible. ”

“ As true and divine joy proceeds from true and divine love, so nothing can proceed from false love but false joy. For as self-love aims at nothing, delights in nothing but honors, riches, and sensual and worldly pleasures, all which are fading, perishing, and subject to a thousand casualties ”

“ The imaginative self, which is, for most purposes, the real self, may be more battered, wounded and strained by a striving, ambitious life than the material body could be in a more visible battle, and its wounds are usually more lasting and draw more deeply upon the vitality. Mortification, resentment, jealousy, the fear of disgrace and failure, sometimes even hope and elation, are exhausting passions ”

“ It becomes engrossed with man's own intimate relationship with God, and forgets the Divine objective of service to others. And in that way it has completely failed to change civilization. Man engrossed in his own happy state forgets why he was delivered from bondage,—forgets the supreme purpose of life,—the sharing with all others of the good things of life which God has bestowed on him. And without that his religion becomes self-love. ”

“ Brotherhood is what this old world needs, and will have in spite of man's hardness of heart and cruelty. True religion is the casting out of the selfish spirit and the development under God of the unselfish spirit. Swedenborg puts it in this way: "Heaven and heavenly joy first begin in man when regard for self dies in the uses we perform," The unselfish life of service to all others from the love of God in our hearts is the true Christian religion. It is the religion of Jesus for this New Age. ”

“ I mean, of course, the real thing, now nearly forgotten, the beginning of which is self-control, and which leads people to be temperate and pure, and enables them to go contrary to custom and fashion, without being eccentric or violent about it. That kind of virtue, I mean, which enables us to accept hard duties, and perform them with cheerful steadfastness; which enables us to make the most of our own lives, and to rear glorious offspring, superior to ourselves. ”

“ Cheap printing has made knowledge a vulgar commodity. Our eyes look, almost without choice, upon the very world itself, and the word "human" is filled with new meaning. Our ideals broaden to suit the wide day in which we live. We crave, not cloistered virtue--it is impossible any longer to keep the cloister--but a robust spirit that shall take the air in the great world, know men in all their kinds, choose its way amid the bustle with all self-possession, with wise genuineness, in calmness, and yet with the quick eye of interest and the quick pulse of power. ”

“ He has been made more human by schooling, by growing more self-possessed—less violent, less tumultuous; holding himself in hand, and moving always with a certain poise of spirit; not forever clapping his hand to the hilt of his sword, but preferring, rather, to play with a subtler skill upon the springs of action. This is our conception of the truly human man: a man in whom there is a just balance of faculties, a catholic sympathy—no brawler, no fanatic, no pharisee ”

“ It is the hour of reflection—and it is human to reflect. Who shall contrive to be human without this evening hour, which drives turmoil out, and gives the soul its seasons of self-recollection? Serenity is not a thing to beget inaction. It only checks excitement and uncalculating haste. It does not exclude ardor or the heat of battle: it keeps ardor from extravagance, prevents the battle from becoming a mere aimless mêlée. The great captains of the world have been men who were calm in the moment of crisis ”

“ And so with benevolence and what is called self-sacrifice. “... charity is but one with overflowing fecundity; it is like a maternity too large to be confined within the family. The mother’s breast needs life eager to empty it; the heart of the truly humane creature needs to be gentle and helpful to all.” [96] “The young man is full of enthusiasm; he is ready for every sacrifice because, in point of fact, it is necessary that he should sacrifice something of himself—that he should diminish himself to a certain extent; he is too full of life to live only for himself.” ”

“ The art of being humans begins with the practice of being genuine, and following standards of conduct which the world has tested. If your life is not various and you cannot know the best people, who set the standards of sincerity, your reading at least can be various, and you may look at your little circle through the best books, under the guidance of writers who have known life and loved the truth.
IV And then genuineness will bring serenity--which I take to be another mark of the right development of the true human being, certainly in an age passionate and confused as this in which we live. ”

“ Honesty, virtue, wisdom and a saintly character redound to the exaltation of man, while dishonesty, imposture, ignorance and hypocrisy lead to his abasement. By My life! Man’s distinction lieth not in ornaments or wealth, but rather in virtuous behaviour and true understanding. Most of the people in Persia are steeped in deception and idle fancy. How great the difference between the condition of these people and the station of such valiant souls as have passed beyond the sea of names and pitched their tents upon the shores of the ocean of detachment. ”

“ Lastly, the highest degree of virtue is, when a man, overcoming himself, is ready at any time to forget injuries, to pardon offences, and to show acts of favor and clemency. “He that is slow to anger,” says Solomon, “is better than the mighty: and he that ruleth his spirit, than he that taketh a city.” Prov. 16:32. This is the highest step of the soul's ascension in her spiritual exercise; and when she has attained it, she rests in God, and is perfect in him.
Chapter XXVIII. Showing How The Love Of The Creator Should Be Preferred To That Of All Creatures ”

“ Your true human being has eyes and keeps his balance in the world; deems nothing uninteresting that comes from life; clarifies his vision and gives health to his eyes by using them upon things near and things far. The brute beast has but a single neighborhood, a single, narrow round of existence; the gain of being human accrues in the choice of change and variety and of experience far and wide, with all the world for stage—a stage set and appointed by this very art of choice—all future generations for witnesses and audience. ”

“ The highest dignity of the human race consists in the practice of an exalted virtue, in the exercise of a fine sympathetic benevolence, in reciprocating our feelings and affections, in promoting the justice and order of society, in relieving the unfortunate and supporting the cause of truth, in diminishing evil and augmenting good; in short, in promoting universally the science, the virtue, and happiness of the world. There is, however, no possibility of faithfully performing these duties while under the shackles of Jewish and Christian superstition. ”