Earl of, John Wilmot Rochester

“ To make your self the Fiddle of the Town:
To find th’ ill-humour’d Pleasure at their Need;
Curst when you fail, and scorn’d when you succeed.
Thus, like an arrant Woman, as I am,
No sooner well convinc’d Writing’s a Shame,
That Whore is scarce a more reproachful Name
⎫
⎬
⎭ Than Poetess—
Like Men that marry, or like Maids that woo,
because ’tis th’ very worst thing they can do:
Pleas’d with the Contradiction, and the Sin,
Methinks I stand on Thorns till I begin. ”

“ Whilst thy tame Hand’s unmov’d against thy Foes.
On Men disarm’d, how can you gallant prove?
And I was long ago disarm’d by Love.
Millions of dull Men live, and scornful Maids:
We’ll own Love valiant when he these invades. ”

“ For Rebels, vanquish’d once, are vilely us’d.
Beauty’s no more but the dead Soil, which Love
Manures, and does by wise Commerce improve:
Sailing by Sighs, thro’ Seas of Tears, he sends
Courtships from foreign Hearts, for your own Ends:
Cherish the Trade, for as with Indians we
Get Gold and Jewels for our Trumpery:
So to each other for their useless Toys,
Lovers afford whole Magazines of Joys. ”

“ Mispender of our Time, our Strength and Wealth;
The Enemy of Valour, Wit, Mirth, all
That we can virtuous, good, or pleasant call:
By Day ’tis nothing but an endless Noise,
By Night the Eccho of forgotten Joys:
Abroad the Sport and Wonder of the Crowd,
At Home the hourly Breach of what they vow’d:
In Youth it’s Opium to our lustful Rage,
Which sleeps awhile, but wakes again in Age:
[Pg 27] It heaps on all Men much, but useless Care;
For with more Trouble they less happy are. ”

“ The Lust of Pow’r, to which he’s such a Slave,
And for the which alone he dares be brave:
To which his various Projects are design’d,
Which makes him gen’rous, affable, and kind:
For which he takes such Pains to be thought wise,
And scrues his Actions in a forc’d Disguise:
Leads a most tedious Life in Misery,
Under laborious, mean Hypocrisy. ”

“ That my jealous Heart wou’d break,
Should we live one Day asunder.
II.
Melting Joys about her move,
Killing Pleasures, wounding Blisses;
She can dress her Eyes in Love,
And her Lips can arm with Kisses. ”

“ With Teeth and Claws, by Nature arm’d, They hunt
Nature’s Allowance, to supply their Want:
But Man with Smiles, Embraces, Friendships, Praise,
Inhumanly his Fellow’s Life betrays;
With voluntary Pains works his Distress;
Not thro’ Necessity, but Wantonness.
For Hunger, or for Love, They bite, or tear,
Whilst wretched Man is still in Arms for Fear ”

“ Shou’d be an Ass thro’ Choice, not want of Wit.
Whose Foppery, without the help of Sense,
Cou’d ne’er have rose to such an Excellence.
Nature’s as lame in making a true Fop
As a Philosopher, the very Top
And Dignity of Folly we attain
By studious Search, and Labour of the Brain:
By Observation, Counsel, and deep Thought:
God never made a Coxcomb worth a Groat.
We owe that Name to Industry and Arts;
An eminent Fool must be a Fool of Parts. ”

“ But felt a God, and bless’d his Pow’r in Love:
This only Joy, for which poor we are made,
Is grown, like Play, to be an arrant Trade:
The Rooks creep in, and it has got of late,
As many little Cheats and Tricks as that.
But, what yet more a Woman’s Heart wou’d vex,
’Tis chiefly carry’d on by our own Sex. ”

“ Their private Wish obeys the publick Voice,
’Twixt Good and Bad, Whimsey decides, not Choice.
Fashions grow up for Taste, at Forms they strike;
They know not what they wou’d have, nor what they like. ”

“ Wherein Man’s Wisdom, Pow’r, and Glory join;
The Good he acts, the Ill he do’s endure,
’Tis all from Fear, to make himself secure.
Meerly for Safety, after Fame they thirst;
For all Men would be Cowards, if they durst:
And Honesty’s against all common Sense,
Men must be Knaves ”

“ Pretends to like a Man that has not known
The Vanities or Vices of the Town:
Fresh in his Youth, and faithful in his Love,
Eager of Joys which he does seldom prove:
Healthful and strong, he does no Pains endure,
But what the Fair One he adores can cure.
Grateful for Favours does the Sex esteem,
And libels none for being kind to him.
Then of the Lewdness of the Town complains,
Rails at the Wits and Atheists, and maintains
’Tis better than good Sense, than Pow’r or Wealth,
To have a Blood untainted, Youth and Health. ”

“ Kindness us’d, but ’twas in vain.
II.
You insisted on your Slave,
Humble Love you soon refus’d:
Hope not then a Pow’r to have,
Which ingloriously you us’d.
III.
Think not, Thirsis, I will e’re,
By my Love my Empire lose:
You grow constant through Dispair,
Love return’d you wou’d abuse.
[Pg 90] IV.
Though you still possess my Heart,
Scorn and Rigour I must feign:
Ah! forgive that only Art,
Love has left your Love to gain. ”

“ Tho’ one’s a Statesman, t’other but a Hound;
Jowler in Justice will be wiser found.
You see how far Man’s Wisdom here extends:
Look next if Human Nature makes amends;
Whose Principles are most generous and just,
And to whose Morals you wou’d sooner trust.
Be judge your self, I’ll bring it to the Test,
Which is the basest Creature, Man, or Beast:
Birds feed on Birds, Beasts on each other prey,
But savage Man alone do’s Man betray.
[Pg 9] Prest by Necessity, They kill for Food;
Man undoes Man, to do himself no good. ”

“ To ev’ry Rule their musty Customs spawn?
But Men may censure you, ’tis two to one
Whene’er they censure they’ll be in the wrong.
There’s not a thing on Earth, that I can name,
So foolish, and so false, as common Fame:
It calls the Courtier Knave; the plain Man rude;
Haughty the Grave; and the Delightful lewd;
Impertinent the Brisk; morose the Sad;
Mean the Familiar; the Reserv’d one mad.
Poor helpless Woman, is not favour’d more,
She’s a sly Hypocrite, or publick Whore.
Then who the Dev’l wou’d give this to be free
From th’ innocent Reproach of Infamy. ”

“ Great Negative, how vainly wou’d the Wise
Enquire, define, distinguish, teach, devise?
Didst thou not stand to point their dull Philosophies.
XI.
Is, or is not, the two great Ends of Fate,
And, true or false, the Subject of Debate,
That perfect, or destroy, the vast Designs of Fate.
[Pg 52] XII.
When they have rack’d the Politician’s Breast,
Within thy Bosom most securely rest,
And, when reduc’d to thee, are least unsafe and best.
XIII.
But, Nothing, why does Something still permit,
That sacred Monarchs should at Council sit,
With Persons highly thought at best for nothing fit. ”

“ Of such whom Wits undo and Fools repair.
This, in my Time, was so observ’d a Rule,
Hardly a Wench in Town but had her Fool.
The meanest, common Slut, who long was grown
The Jest and Scorn of ev’ry Pit-Buffoon;
Had yet left Charms enough to have subdu’d
Some Fop or other; fond to be thought lewd.
Foster could make an Irish Lord a Nokes;
And Betty Morris had her City Cokes.
A Woman’s ne’er so ruin’d but she can
Be still reveng’d on her Undoer, Man:
How lost soe’er, she’ll find some Lover more,
A more abandon’d Fool than she a Whore. ”

“ But the kind easie Fool, apt to admire
Himself, trusts us, his Follies all conspire
To flatter his, and favour our Desire.
⎫
⎬
⎭ [Pg 35] Vain of his proper Merit, he, with ease,
Believes we love him best, who best can please:
On him our gross, dull, common Flatteries pass;
Ever most happy when most made an Ass:
Heavy to apprehend; tho’ all Mankind
Perceive us false, the Fop, himself, is blind.
Who, doating on himself,—
Thinks every one that sees him of his Mind.
⎫
⎩
⎧
⎭ These are true Womens Men—here, forc’d to cease
Thro’ want of Breath, not will, to hold her Peace ”

“ The best Good Man with the worst-natur’d Muse.
For Songs and Verses mannerly obscene,
That can stir Nature up by Springs unseen,
And, without forcing Blushes, warm the Queen;
⎫
⎬
⎭
Sedley has that prevailing, gentle Art,
That can with a resistless Pow’r impart
The loosest Wishes to the chastest Heart ”

“ Who wou’d be proud you’d deign to use him ill.
[Pg 57] Then give me leave to glory in my Chain,
My fruitless Sighs, and my unpitied Pain.
Let me but ever Love, and ever be
Th’ Example of your Pow’r and Cruelty.
Since so much Scorn does in your Breast reside,
Be more indulgent to its Mother Pride.
Kill all you strike, and trample on their Graves ”

“ Who had prevail’d with her, thro’ her own Skill,
As his Request, tho’ much against his Will,
To come to London—
[Pg 33] As the Coach stopt, I heard her Voice, more loud
Than a great bellied Woman’s in a Crowd;
Telling the Knight that her Affairs require
He, for some Hours, obsequiously retire.
I think she was asham’d he shou’d be seen,
Hard Fate of Husbands! the Gallant has been,
Tho’ a diseas’d, ill-favour’d Fool, brought in.
⎫
⎬
⎭ Dispatch, says she, the Business you pretend,
Your beastly Visit to your drunken Friend.
A Bottle ever makes you look so fine ”

“ And bear a crippl’d Carcase thro’ the Sky.
’Tis this exalted Pow’r whose Bus’ness lies
In Nonsense and Impossibilities:
This made a whimsical Philosopher,
Before the spacious World his Tub prefer:
And we have many modern Coxcombs who
Retire to think, ’cause they have nought to do.
But Thoughts were giv’n for Action’s Government;
Where Action ceases, Thought’s impertinent.
Our Sphere of Action is Life’s Happiness,
And he that thinks beyond, thinks like an Ass. ”

“ You, whom some kinder Pow’r did fashion,
By Merit, and by Inclination,
The Joy at least of a whole Nation.
⎫
⎬
⎭ II.
Let meaner Spirits of your Sex,
With humble Aims their Thoughts perplex:
And boast, if, by their Arts they can
Contrive to make one happy Man. ”

“ Lawn Sleeves, and Furs, and Gowns, when they like thee look wise.
[Pg 53] XVI.
French Truth, Dutch Prowess, British Policy,
Hibernian Learning, Scotch Civility,
Spaniards Dispatch, Danes Wit, are mainly seen in thee.
XVII.
The Great Man’s Gratitude to his best Friend,
King’s Promises, Whores Vows tow’rds thee they bend,
Flow swiftly into thee, and in thee ever end.
The ADVICE.
All Things submit themselves to your Command,
Fair Cælia, when it does not Love withstand:
The Pow’r it borrows from your Eyes alone;
All but the God must yield to, who has none. ”