Terence

“ This Clinia, Menedemus’ only son,
Would never have elop’d.
Syrus. I can not tell
Whether he says all this in jest or earnest;
But it gives fresh encouragement to me. (Aside.)
Chrem. And now what is’t the blockhead waits for, Syrus?
Is’t till his master runs away again,
When he perceives himself no longer able
To bear with the expenses of his mistress?
Has he no plot upon th’ old gentleman?
Syrus. He’s a poor creature.
Chrem. But it is your part,
For Clinia’s sake, to lend a helping hand.
Syrus. Why, that indeed I easily can do,
If you command me; for I know which way. ”

“ The critics hold it impossible, that an action of months or years can be possibly believed to pass in three hours. The spectator, who knows that he saw the first act at Alexandria, cannot suppose that he sees the next at Rome; he knows that he has not changed his place, and that the place cannot change itself; that what was a house can never become a plain; that what was Thebes, can never be Persepolis. Such is the triumphant language with which a critic exults over the miseries of an irregular poet ”

“ Lach. ’Twas your fault, Sostrata; your fault alone.
You were sole mistress here; and in your care
You was sole mistress here; and in your care
The house, though I had freed you of all other cares.
A woman, an old woman too, and quarrel
With a green girl! oh shame upon’t!—You’ll say
That ’twas her fault.
Sostra. Not I indeed, my Laches.
Lach. ’Fore Heav’n, I’m glad on’t! on my son’s account.
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For as for you, I’m well enough assur’d,
No fault can make you worse. ”

“ In truth, friend Davus, from what I have just heard from the old man about the marriage, I think thou hast no time to lose. This affair must be [90] handled dexterously, or either my young master or I must be quite undone. Nor have I yet resolved which side to take; whether I shall assist Pamphilus, or obey his father. If I abandon the son, I fear his happiness will be destroyed: if I help him, I dread the threats of the old man, who is as crafty as a fox. First, he has discovered his son’s intrigue, and keeps a jealous eye upon me, lest I should set some scheme a-foot to retard the marriage. ”

“ Has got a music-girl, Heav’n bless the mark!
With whom he means to live, and quit the other.
Dem. And are you well assur’d of this?
Hegio. The mother,
The girl, the fact itself, are all before you,
Joining to vouch the truth on’t. And besides,
This Geta here—as servants go, no bad one,
Nor given up to idleness—maintains them;
The sole support of all the family.
Here take him, bind him, force the truth from him.
Geta. Aye, torture me, if ’tis not so, good Demea!
Nay, Æschinus, I’m sure, will not deny it. ”

“ Simo. Well, be it so. (Pamphilus goes in.) Oh! Chremes, what would I not give, to be convinced that my son has not deceived me.
Chremes. However great may be the faults of a son, a slight punishment satisfies a father.
Scene V. Scene V.
Chremes, Simo, Crito, Pamphilus.
Crito. Say no more, Pamphilus, I would do what you wish either for your sake, or for Glycera’s, or even my regard for truth would be a sufficient inducement.
Chremes. Do I see Crito the Andrian? Yes, it is he!
Crito. Well met, Chremes.
Chremes. What brought you to Athens, who are such a stranger here? ”

“ Enter Chærea in the Eunuch’s habit.
An Eunuch, Madam! of a lib’ral air,
And in his prime!
Thais. Now as I live, he’s handsome!
Par. What say you, Gnatho? Is he despicable?
Or, Captain, what say you?—Dumb?—Praise sufficient;
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Try him in letters, exercises, music:
In all the arts, a gentleman should know,
I’ll warrant him accomplish’d.
Thra. Troth, that Eunuch
Is well enough.
Par. And he, who sends these presents,
Requires you not to live for him alone,
And for his sake to shut out all mankind:
Nor does he tell his battles, show his wounds,
Or shackle your free will, as some folks do. ”

“ Heyday! what means this? I’ve met with Socrates, not Phædria, so far as I see. Why hesitate to go up and address him? (Accosting him.) How now, Phædria, whence have you acquired this new wisdom, and derived such great delight, as you show by your countenance?
Phæd. O welcome, my friend; O most delightful Phormio, welcome! There’s not a person in all the world I could more wish just now to meet than yourself.
Phor. Pray, tell me what is the matter.
Phæd. Aye, faith, I have to beg of you, that you will listen to it. My Pamphila is a citizen of Attica, and of noble birth, and rich. ”

“ Davus. (to Charinus.) Well done! if he does not rave enough of himself, do try to make him worse.
Mysis. It is the rumour of your approaching marriage with Philumena that makes her so miserable.
Pam. Mysis, I solemnly swear to you by all the gods, that I never will forsake her; no, though my love for her should make all mankind my foes, I never, never will forsake her. I wooed, and made her mine; our souls accord; and I will hold no communion with those who wish to separate us: death alone shall part us.
Mysis. Your words revive me, Pamphilus. ”

“ SCENE X. Enter Phædria.
Phæd. Good heavens!
What wondrous things has Parmeno just told me!
But where’s my brother?
Chær. Here.
Phæd. I’m quite transported.
Phæd. O heavenly powers!
What wondrous things has Parmeno just told me!
But where’s my brother?
Chær. Here he is.
Phæd. I’m happy.
Chær. I dare believe you are; and trust me, brother,
Naught can be worthier of your love than Thais:
Our family are all much bounden to her.
Phæd. So! you’d need sing her praise to me!
Thraso. Confusion!
As my hope dies, my passion gathers strength.
Gnatho, your help! my only hope’s in you. ”

“ The Romans, therefore, omitted no opportunity of improving the manners and perfecting the education of their youth, by sending them to mix with the Greeks, and to unite themselves to the disciples of those Grecian sages, who, as far as the light of reason, unassisted by divine revelation, could penetrate, dispelled the clouds of ignorance, and taught their followers that happiness and wisdom can be attained only by the virtuous. ”

“ Now, Parmeno,
Now you may show what kind of man you are.
You know you’ve often told me; “Chærea,
Find something out to set your heart upon,
And mark how I will serve you!” yes, you know
You’ve often said so, when I scrap’d together
All the provisions for you at my father’s.
Par. Away, you trifler!
Chær. Nay, in faith, it’s true:
Now make your promise good! and in a cause
Worthy the utmost reachings of your soul:
A girl! my Parmeno, not like our misses;
Whose mothers try to keep their shoulders down,
And bind their bosoms, that their shapes may seem
Genteel and slim. Is a girl rather plump? ”

“ Simus and Crito, our two neighbors here,
Have a dispute about their boundaries;
And they’ve referr’d it to my arbitration,
I’ll go and tell them, ’tis not in my power
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To wait on them, as I propos’d to-day.
I will be with you presently.
274 Mene. Pray do.
Exit Chremes.
Gods! that the nature of mankind is such,
To see and judge of the affairs of others
Much better than their own! Is’t therefore so,
Because that, in our own concerns, we feel
The influence of joy or grief too nearly? ”

“ Terence has the art of making us feel interested in the favour of almost all his characters: they insensibly gain ground in our good opinion: even this Davus, who certainly has a spice of the rogue about him, creates a warm interest in his favour by his fidelity to Pamphilus; and his generosity in risking his own safety to serve him: he braves the threats of Simo, when, by assisting him, and betraying Pamphilus, he must have secured the old man’s favour, and consequently great advantages to himself. But very few of the worst characters in Terence’s plays seem to us to be wholly unamiable. ”

“ Have you heard, Chremes, what has happened to my son in my absence?
Chrem. ’Tis that, in fact, that has embarrassed me in my plans. For if I offer my daughter in marriage to any person that’s a stranger, it must all be told how and by whom I had her. You I knew to be fully as faithful to me as I am to myself; if a stranger shall think fit to be connected with me by marriage, he will hold his tongue, just as long as good terms exist between us: but if he takes a dislike to me, he’ll be knowing more than it’s proper he should know. ”

“ Nay, Syrus, I commit myself, and my love, and my reputation entirely to you: you are the seducer; take care you don’t deserve any blame.
Syr. It is ridiculous for you to give me that caution, Clitipho, as if my interest was less at stake in this affair than yours. Here, if any ill luck should perchance befall us, words will be in readiness for you, but for this individual blows (pointing to himself.) For that reason, this matter is by no means to be neglected on my part: but do prevail upon him (pointing to Clinia) to pretend that she is his own mistress. ”

“ Upon my word, my dear Antiphila, I commend you, and think you fortunate in having made it your study that your manners should be conformable to those good looks of yours: and so may the Gods bless me, I do not at all wonder if every man is in love with you. For your discourse has been a proof to me what kind of disposition you possess. And when now I reflect in my mind upon your way of life, and that of all of you, in fact, who keep the public at a distance from yourselves, it is not surprising both that you are of that disposition, and that we are not; for it is your interest to be virtuous ”

“ There’s Syrus, and that little slave of yours
In an eternal whisper: the young men
Consulting too together: and it were
Better to lose a talent by these means,
Than on your plan a mina: for at present
Money is not the question, but the means
To gratify the youth the safest way.
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For if he once perceives your turn of mind,
That you had rather throw away your life,
And waste your whole estate, than part with him,
Ah, what a window to debauchery
You’ll open, Menedemus! Such a one,
As will embitter even life itself ”

“ Pyth. As sure as I’m alive, this is a trick
Of Parmeno’s.
Dori. No doubt on’t.
Pyth. I’ll devise
Some means to-day to fit him for’t.—But now
What would you have me do?
Dori. About the girl!
Pyth. Aye; shall I tell; or keep the matter secret?
Dori. Troth, if you’re wise you know not what you know,
Nor of the Eunuch, nor the ravishment:
So shall you clear yourself of all this trouble,
And do a kindness to our mistress too.
Say nothing, but that Dorus is gone off.
Pyth. I’ll do so.
Dori. Prithee is not Chremes yonder?
Thais will soon be here.
Pyth. How so? ”

“ Into yon wench’s bosom?
Syrus. So! all’s over:
I am undone. (Aside.)
279 Clit. Me, Sir?
Chrem. These very eyes
Beheld you: don’t deny it.—’Tis base in you
To be so flippant with your hands. For what
Affront’s more gross than to receive a friend
Under your roof, and tamper with his mistress?
And, last night in your cups too, how indecent
And rudely you behav’d!
Syrus. ’Tis very true.
Chrem. So very troublesome, so help me Heav’n,
I fear’d the consequence. I know the ways
Of lovers: they oft take offense at things
You dream not of. ”

“ Geta. Since that’s the case then, Antipho, you ought
To be the more upon your guard.
Ant. Alas!
I’m not myself.
Geta. But now you should be most so, Antipho.
For if your father should discern your fear,
He’ll think you conscious of a fault.
Phæd. That’s true.
Ant. I can not help it, nor seem otherwise.
Geta. How would you manage in worse difficulties?
Ant. Since I’m not equal to bear this, to those
I should be more unequal.
Geta. This is nothing.
Pooh, Phædria, let him go! why waste our time?
I will be gone. (Going.)
Phæd. And I. (Going.)
Ant. Nay, prithee, stay! ”

“ Now, Heav’n so help me, I rejoice at this
On her account much rather than my own,
Her, whom I know worthy the highest honors.
Syrus. No doubt on’t.—But now, Clinia, hold a while!
Give me a moment’s hearing in my turn.
For your friend’s business must be thought of now,
And well secur’d, lest our old gentleman
Suspect about the wench.
Clin. O Jupiter! (In raptures.)
Syrus. Peace! (Impatiently.)
Clin. My Antiphila shall be my wife.
Syrus. And will you interrupt me?
Clin. Oh, my Syrus,
What can I do! I’m overjoy’d. Bear with me.
Syrus. Troth so I do.
Clin. We’re happy, as the Gods. ”

“ Think on this, Pimp, till I come back again.
Exit.
SCENE II. Sannio alone.
Oh Jupiter! I do not wonder now
That men run mad with injuries. He drags me
Out of my own house; cudgels me most soundly;
And carries off my slave against my will:
And after this ill-treatment, he demands
The Music-Girl to be made over to him
At the same price I bought her.—He has pour’d
His blows upon me, thick as hail; for which,
Since he deserves so nobly at my hands,
He should no doubt be gratified.—Nay, nay,
Let me but touch the cash, I’m still content. ”