Terence

“ SCENE X. Enter Phædria.
Phæd. Good heavens!
What wondrous things has Parmeno just told me!
But where’s my brother?
Chær. Here.
Phæd. I’m quite transported.
Phæd. O heavenly powers!
What wondrous things has Parmeno just told me!
But where’s my brother?
Chær. Here he is.
Phæd. I’m happy.
Chær. I dare believe you are; and trust me, brother,
Naught can be worthier of your love than Thais:
Our family are all much bounden to her.
Phæd. So! you’d need sing her praise to me!
Thraso. Confusion!
As my hope dies, my passion gathers strength.
Gnatho, your help! my only hope’s in you. ”

“ Lach. ’Twas your fault, Sostrata; your fault alone.
You were sole mistress here; and in your care
You was sole mistress here; and in your care
The house, though I had freed you of all other cares.
A woman, an old woman too, and quarrel
With a green girl! oh shame upon’t!—You’ll say
That ’twas her fault.
Sostra. Not I indeed, my Laches.
Lach. ’Fore Heav’n, I’m glad on’t! on my son’s account.
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For as for you, I’m well enough assur’d,
No fault can make you worse. ”

“ Has got a music-girl, Heav’n bless the mark!
With whom he means to live, and quit the other.
Dem. And are you well assur’d of this?
Hegio. The mother,
The girl, the fact itself, are all before you,
Joining to vouch the truth on’t. And besides,
This Geta here—as servants go, no bad one,
Nor given up to idleness—maintains them;
The sole support of all the family.
Here take him, bind him, force the truth from him.
Geta. Aye, torture me, if ’tis not so, good Demea!
Nay, Æschinus, I’m sure, will not deny it. ”

“ Then ’twill be over: for he sees the thing
In its true light.
Simo. I praise him for’t.
Davus. While you
Restrain’d him not; and while his youth allow’d
’Tis true he lov’d; but even then by stealth,
’Tis true he lov’d; and even then by stealth,
As wise men ought, and careful of his fame.
Now his age calls for matrimony, now
To matrimony he inclines his mind.
Simo. Yet, in my eyes, he seem’d a little sad.
Davus. Not upon that account. He has he thinks
Another reason to complain of you.
Simo. For what?
Davus. A trifle.
Simo. Well, what is’t?
Davus. Nay, nothing.
Simo. ”

“ Heyday! what means this? I’ve met with Socrates, not Phædria, so far as I see. Why hesitate to go up and address him? (Accosting him.) How now, Phædria, whence have you acquired this new wisdom, and derived such great delight, as you show by your countenance?
Phæd. O welcome, my friend; O most delightful Phormio, welcome! There’s not a person in all the world I could more wish just now to meet than yourself.
Phor. Pray, tell me what is the matter.
Phæd. Aye, faith, I have to beg of you, that you will listen to it. My Pamphila is a citizen of Attica, and of noble birth, and rich. ”

“ Simus and Crito, our two neighbors here,
Have a dispute about their boundaries;
And they’ve referr’d it to my arbitration,
I’ll go and tell them, ’tis not in my power
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To wait on them, as I propos’d to-day.
I will be with you presently.
274 Mene. Pray do.
Exit Chremes.
Gods! that the nature of mankind is such,
To see and judge of the affairs of others
Much better than their own! Is’t therefore so,
Because that, in our own concerns, we feel
The influence of joy or grief too nearly? ”

“ Nay, Syrus, I commit myself, and my love, and my reputation entirely to you: you are the seducer; take care you don’t deserve any blame.
Syr. It is ridiculous for you to give me that caution, Clitipho, as if my interest was less at stake in this affair than yours. Here, if any ill luck should perchance befall us, words will be in readiness for you, but for this individual blows (pointing to himself.) For that reason, this matter is by no means to be neglected on my part: but do prevail upon him (pointing to Clinia) to pretend that she is his own mistress. ”

“ He’ll rise above the guilt that sinks him now.
Chremes. So you believe: for me, I can not think
That he’ll be constant, or that I can bear it.
Simo. How can you know, unless you make the trial?
Chremes. Aye, but to make that trial on a daughter
Is hard indeed.
Simo. The mischief, should he fail,
Is only this: divorce, which Heav’n forbid!
But mark what benefits if he amend!
First, to your friend you will restore a son;
Gain to yourself a son-in-law, and match
Your daughter to an honest husband.
Chremes. Well! ”

“ There’s Syrus, and that little slave of yours
In an eternal whisper: the young men
Consulting too together: and it were
Better to lose a talent by these means,
Than on your plan a mina: for at present
Money is not the question, but the means
To gratify the youth the safest way.
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For if he once perceives your turn of mind,
That you had rather throw away your life,
And waste your whole estate, than part with him,
Ah, what a window to debauchery
You’ll open, Menedemus! Such a one,
As will embitter even life itself ”

“ Pyth. As sure as I’m alive, this is a trick
Of Parmeno’s.
Dori. No doubt on’t.
Pyth. I’ll devise
Some means to-day to fit him for’t.—But now
What would you have me do?
Dori. About the girl!
Pyth. Aye; shall I tell; or keep the matter secret?
Dori. Troth, if you’re wise you know not what you know,
Nor of the Eunuch, nor the ravishment:
So shall you clear yourself of all this trouble,
And do a kindness to our mistress too.
Say nothing, but that Dorus is gone off.
Pyth. I’ll do so.
Dori. Prithee is not Chremes yonder?
Thais will soon be here.
Pyth. How so? ”

“ Simo. Ah, Chremes, I must now entreat the more,
More urge you to confirm the promis’d boon.
Chremes. Mark, how unjust you are through willfulness!
So you obtain what you demand, you set
No bounds to my compliance, nor consider
What you request; for if you did consider,
You’d cease to load me with these injuries.
Simo. What injuries?
Chremes. Is that a question now?
Have you not driven me to plight my child
To one possess’d with other love, averse
To marriage; to expose her to divorce,
And crazy nuptials ”

“ Think on this, Pimp, till I come back again.
Exit.
SCENE II. Sannio alone.
Oh Jupiter! I do not wonder now
That men run mad with injuries. He drags me
Out of my own house; cudgels me most soundly;
And carries off my slave against my will:
And after this ill-treatment, he demands
The Music-Girl to be made over to him
At the same price I bought her.—He has pour’d
His blows upon me, thick as hail; for which,
Since he deserves so nobly at my hands,
He should no doubt be gratified.—Nay, nay,
Let me but touch the cash, I’m still content. ”

“ Now, Heav’n so help me, I rejoice at this
On her account much rather than my own,
Her, whom I know worthy the highest honors.
Syrus. No doubt on’t.—But now, Clinia, hold a while!
Give me a moment’s hearing in my turn.
For your friend’s business must be thought of now,
And well secur’d, lest our old gentleman
Suspect about the wench.
Clin. O Jupiter! (In raptures.)
Syrus. Peace! (Impatiently.)
Clin. My Antiphila shall be my wife.
Syrus. And will you interrupt me?
Clin. Oh, my Syrus,
What can I do! I’m overjoy’d. Bear with me.
Syrus. Troth so I do.
Clin. We’re happy, as the Gods. ”

“ Geta. Since that’s the case then, Antipho, you ought
To be the more upon your guard.
Ant. Alas!
I’m not myself.
Geta. But now you should be most so, Antipho.
For if your father should discern your fear,
He’ll think you conscious of a fault.
Phæd. That’s true.
Ant. I can not help it, nor seem otherwise.
Geta. How would you manage in worse difficulties?
Ant. Since I’m not equal to bear this, to those
I should be more unequal.
Geta. This is nothing.
Pooh, Phædria, let him go! why waste our time?
I will be gone. (Going.)
Phæd. And I. (Going.)
Ant. Nay, prithee, stay! ”

“ Syrus. And so I did.
But he came back soon after, like a madman.
He had no mercy.—Was not he asham’d
To beat a poor old fellow? to beat me;
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Who bore him in my arms but t’other day,
An urchin thus high? (Showing.)
Dem. Oh rare, Ctesipho!
Father’s own son! a man, I warrant him.
Syrus. Oh rare, d’ye cry? I’ faith, if he is wise,
He’ll hold his hands another time.
Dem. Oh brave!
Syrus. Oh mighty brave, indeed!—Because he beat
A helpless girl, and me a wretched slave,
Who durst not strike again;—oh, to be sure,
Mighty brave, truly! ”

“ Syrus. Clinia has told his father that the wench
Is mistress to your Clitipho; and that
He brought her over with him to their house,
To hinder your detecting it.
Chrem. Good! good!
Syrus. D’ye think so?
Chrem. Charming!
He brought her with him hither, to prevent
Your smoking it.
Chrem. Incomparable!
Syrus. Really?
Chrem. O, admirable!
Syrus. Aye, if you knew all.
But only hear the rest of our device.
But only hear the rest of our advice.
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He’ll tell his father he has seen your daughter,
Whose beauty has so charm’d him at first sight,
He longs to marry her.
Chrem. Antiphila?
Syrus. ”

“ Whatever falls out beyond his hopes, all that he must look upon as so much gain.
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Geta (apart.) O Phædria, it is incredible how much I surpass my master in wisdom. All my misfortunes have been already calculated upon by me, upon my master coming home. I must grind at the mill, be beaten, wear fetters, be set to work in the fields; not one individual thing of these will happen unexpected by my mind. Whatever falls out beyond my expectations, all that I shall look upon as so much gain. But why do you hesitate to accost him, and soften him at the outset with fair words? ”

“ You beg me to bring Lesbia. By my troth
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That Lesbia is a drunken wretch, hot-headed,
Nor worthy to be trusted with a woman
In her first labor. Well, well! she shall come.
—Observe how earnest the old gossip is, (Coming forward)
Because this Lesbia is her pot-companion.
—Oh grant my mistress, Heav’n, a safe delivery,
And let the midwife trespass any where
Rather than here!—But what is it I see?
Pamphilus all disorder’d: How I fear
The cause! I’ll wait a while, that I may know
If this commotion means us any ill. ”

“ Now, Parmeno,
Now you may show what kind of man you are.
You know you’ve often told me; “Chærea,
Find something out to set your heart upon,
And mark how I will serve you!” yes, you know
You’ve often said so, when I scrap’d together
All the provisions for you at my father’s.
Par. Away, you trifler!
Chær. Nay, in faith, it’s true:
Now make your promise good! and in a cause
Worthy the utmost reachings of your soul:
A girl! my Parmeno, not like our misses;
Whose mothers try to keep their shoulders down,
And bind their bosoms, that their shapes may seem
Genteel and slim. Is a girl rather plump? ”