active 1672-1710 Henry Neville Payne

“ Enter Nurse, with Antonio and Jasper.
Anto. Are they together, Nurse?
Nurse. Yes, my Lord, the more’s my sorrow!
Anto. Nay then, I see the Devils did speak truth;
Francisco, their kind Couzen, Whor’d them both,
By Heav’ns they took their turns, I see it plain!
O that I could invent some horrid Death,
And had but time to execute it on them;
But since I cannot, plain stabbing will do well,
The less they’ve here, the more they’l find in Hell.
Nurse. I hope you will not kill your Lady, Sir!
Anto. Not kill her! But I must.
Nurse. What have I done? Oh, oh. ”

“ Enter Don Gerardo with a Book in his Hand. Song. 1.
SOme Happy Soul come down and tell
What Joys are those with you do dwell?
If it be Happiness like ours below,
Which from our want of ills does only flow,
Then ’tis plain that mighty theam
Of Immortality is but a Dream. 2.
’Tis Love, ’tis Love, for nothing can
Give real Happiness to Man,
But Joys like those that Lovers Souls enjoy,
which here on Earth there’s nothing can destroy;
Ay, ay, ’tis Love only can be
The Happy Souls endless felicity. ”

“ I’le bear the Ring, but not the Message, Sir;
I ne’re will seek for Friends when you are gone.
Ger. I do conjure thee do it: Tell our story too
As true as is thy self: But have a care,
Wound not Eugenia’s Fame more then must needs.
Francisco’s and Eugenia’s dying words
Will make it strangely dark, as ’tis to me,
But I must leave it so!
Give me thy hand, commend me to Antonio;
Alas! I had forgot him, pray Heav’n his story
Produce no further mischief; tell Cælia nothing
Befor’t be day: Bus’ness comes thronging on me,
But I faint——make but one Grave, and lay us
In it thus——Farewell. ”

“ Runs at Gerardo.
How’s this, not stir! Nay, then he’s dead
Already—the Moon deceives me, or it is Gerardo.
Oh Heav’n’s! It is my Friend, dead, dead, and stiff,
And my accursed hand hath Wounded him.
This is not Cælia neither, but Eugenia in her Gown!
What strange mistakes are these?
Jasp. But who are here?
Anto. What, more!
By Heav’ns Francisco and his Friend Sebastian!
Both dead too! Death has had a Feast to Night.
Do not we Dream? ”

“ Pedro, the Nurse is mad, I did not call you,
You see how she has scratcht poor Flora’s Face,
She came just now shreeking and staring hither;
If you could lock her up into some Room,
A noise, Exiturus, he fights, and Enters with Antonio, whom when he sees, he lets fall his point, and is kill’d. Jasper runs Flora through. It would do well. ”

“ Cælia. My Lord, what profit by it wou’d you gain?
Anto. ’Twould cure doubt to me the deadliest pain.
Ger. Doubt is th’effect of fear or Jealousie,
Two Passions which to Reason give the Lye
For fear torments, but never does assist,
And Jealousie is love lost in a Mist.
Both Hood-wink truth, then go to blind-mans buff,
Cry here, then there, seem to direct enough:
But all the while shift place making the mind
As it goes out of breath despair to find.
And if at last something it stumbles on,
Perhaps it calls it false and then ’tis gone. ”

“ But hold, I wrong Eugenia, if I blame
Her, and not you alone, for all her shame.
You Rob’d her of her Chastity by force,
Though fear of shame still kept her from Remorse.
Fran. Pish! Force! That was her policy to you,
She did no more then what all Women do,
Seem to resist what they do most desire,
To raise the flame, yet seem to cool the fire;
Believe this Truth, Sebastian, Women can
Resist it, and perform it more then Man. ”

“ Of my Lords taking Jasper, the Dream you told,
And Don Gerardo’s naming of Francisco,
Mine now is formed: Thus they but succeed
Things past, and not prognostick things to come.
Flor. Pray Heav’ns these do not do’t, but I’m afraid.
Enter Nurse, frighted with Eugenia’s Ghost.
Nurse. Stand off, stand off, what makes you follow me?
I’m sure I did not kill you, if you’re dead,
Or if you be not, why are you so pale?—
So, so—she’s gone—but what made me come hither.
Cæl. What, do you study wayes to fright me, Nurse?
It is no proper time to play your tricks. ”

“ Fires that may fit so brave a pack of Letchers;
If you delight in Offerings; and for Gold
Can but increase their Torments, I will sell
All my Estate to turn it into that,
Daily to add more fewel to their flames.
Let Fools that spend their Wealth on Priests for Prayers,
Be Cheated still, I’le take a surer way,
Torments for Souls are penny-worths I’le buy,
And there is Reason in it; for ’tis likely
Hell may take Bribes, when surely Heav’n won’t.
Oh Excellent project! Is’t not a good one, Jasper?
By Hell it self, this Night Hell hath e’m all. ”

“ Witch. Jasper, not so; though I can raise no Devils,
Yet I Confederate with Rogues and Juglers,
Things that can shape themselves like Elves,
And Goblins—
And often do like Spirits haunt great Houses,
Most times to steal, but many times for mirth;
Enter a little Devil, and tumbles the Summerset. These I’le soon send for; arise, my Pincula.
Jasp. Heav’ns bless me! save me, good Aunt.
Witch. From what? You Fool, ’tis but a little Boy,
Which I instruct to carry on my Cheats:
Come, leave your Fooling, I have bus’ness for you ”

“ Jasp. Ne’re fear it, tell me all: I would not for the
world have mist this Story, it makes a full amends
for all my Crosses; come, Nurse, prethee quickly
tell me all passages.
Nurse. I tell no more, my mind misgives me I’ve said
too much already.
Jasp. Not tell me more, Old Beldame? Speak it quickly,
or what I know shall soon unto my Lord.
Nurse. How now! Is this dissembling too?
Jasp. No, ’tis as great a truth as what you told me of,
Don Francisco’s Bedding with Eugenia; tell me the
rest, and by it save your Life.
Nurse. Dear Jasper, be not angry, and I will. ”

“ Self-murderers ne’re must keep him Company;
I’le set the Bodies up against the Wall,
And call the Watch; what if they say I’m guilty,
And make my Life to answer all these Deaths:
Why, let e’m do’t, for Death would now be well
Since to survive his loss to me’s a Hell. ”

“ Ger. A Faithful Servant is the best of Friends,
Since he is nearest alwayes to assist us;
But stay, I cannot guess from all I’ve heard,
The cause that should disturb Antonio;
Except ’tis Jealousie: Yet how can that be?
If Cælia’s vitious there’s no vertuous Women.
But now I think how much he rail’d at Marriage,
And more our Arguments concerning doubt,
These things perswade he’s Jealous! But of whom?
The more I think, the more I am confounded!
How Clouded Man
Doubts first, and from one doubt doth soon proceed
A thousand more in solving of the first ”

“ She’s dead, she’s dead! Oh, Cælia, Oh, Antonio!
Then lye him down again, and rest a space:
Sometimes call Jasper to him, talk a while,
And soon again rise in another Passion;
Seldom I heard a word, except a Curse!
Or now and then a Name; as Lewis, Cælia,
Pedro, Francisco, Flora; nay, my Lord,
Sometimes I heard your Name, and then Eugenia’s;
Then suddenly holding his hands to Heav’n,
He’d down again, and there a while would role.
Ger. These Actions sure did seem a perfect madness.
Serv. It seem’d indeed a madness methodiz’d,
Like theirs who are Transported far with Passion. ”

“ Or help me with your Art, you’l see my Ruine.
Witch. These things you speak of, people think I do,
And so I’de have e’m; for tis the only way I have to Live:
The Vulgar People love to be deluded;
And things the most unlikely they most dote on ”

“ In letting Jasper know my shame and folly.
Nurse. Jasper knows nothing, that he does not, from me,
And I will ask him; fore your face, I will,
If I e’re said Francisco lay with you.
Eug. ’Tis plain, thy guilt transported thee to madness,
Else thou wouldst never make thy Tongue a Herauld
So loud, for to proclaim to all the House
The Action you’d perswade me still is secret.
38 Nurse. If you talk lowd your self, why may not I?
But I’le bring Jasper to you shall deny all.
Eug. What mischief upon mischief she designs?
Dost think, like thine, my Modesty is gone? ”

“ Jasper, I find thy Informations true,
Thus far at least; these are my Wife’s kind Couzens.
Hell rid e’m from the World.
Jasp. A hundred times they had been here before
In as much danger: Mark you that, my Lord?
Anto. I, and in Soul retorted back the Lye,
For they in all their Lives ne’re knew a danger
Equal to that they’re near: Heark! ”

“ Devil. An ill-look’d Rogue, his Man, the Witches Nephew;
I think they call him Jasper.
Capt. Well, take the Boy, and call some of your Fellows,
And there surprize them all. I’le not defer
My searching to prevent the mischief
That Don Antonio further may design,
For I believe he had a hand in this
Was done i’th’ Garden, however the mistake
Did happen to begin between the Dead.
Serv. Come, Sir, make haste, for I begin to fear
Some Tragedy is Acted in the House,
For Don Antonio’s Rage is alwayes quick,
And they have toucht the string will stretch it highest. ”

“ Ger. Time will flye slow, though Impt with wings of Love.
Enter Cælia and Eugenia.
Cæl. My Lord, I beg your pardon for a short interruption.
Ger. Madam, ’tis I have cause to beg your pardon,
Thus to detain your Lord, on’s Wedding-day,
A Day in Justice should be wholly yours. ”

“ Payne ridicules the love and honor theme in The Morning Ramble where he makes Rose say (p. 54) :
Love and Honour are the two great Wheels, on which all business moves. The Tradesman cheats you upon his Honour, and like a Lord swears by that, but that he particularly loves you, you should not have it so. No Tragedy, Comedy, Farse, Demi-Farse, or Song nowadayes, but is full of Love and Honour: Your Coffee-drinking Crop-ear'd Little Banded-Secretary, that pretends not to know more of Honour than it's Name, will out of abundance of Love be still sighing and groaning for the Honour of the Nation. ”

“ Nurse. I love Jasper well, and love you too,
And you shall have no wrong I warrant you.
Eug. The thing is plain, I need not ask no further.
But where’s the remedy? Nurse, prethee tell me,
What did Francisco say unto my message?
Nurse. I, there’s a bus’ness now worth asking for.
He sayes, he’s glad you’l condescend to meet;
Nay, he’s a glad man, I’le tell you that, i’ faith,
He bid me say, you were a gallant Girle,
So to Revenge his quarrel on Gerardo.
Eug. Gerardo, said you! O thy mouth’s a Sieve!
There’s not a secret thou canst keep a moment ”

“ Nurse, & Flora.
Ped. What, i’th’ dumps, Seignior! all a mort for your
mistress, faith man, take it not so to heart, there are others
i’th’ World as Young, though few may be as handsome.
Jasp. Ay, Sir, ’tis to be suppos’d; you can boast it by Experience,
there are Young Ladies for spruce Pedro’s—Jasper—
must be content with their Nurses.
Ped. Content, say you? I, Marry, if she content you not, the
Devil can’t; why, she’s a Dish of variety, like a huge
olio; there’s all Ages of Women in her. Thou art
the happiest man in a Mistress, Jasper—faith, I envy thee.
Jasp. ’Tis very well. ”

“ How strangely sin dastards our very Reason,
Making that guide us to desire known ills
Rather then Joys, that promis’d we deserve not;
For the best Men through sense of guilt do fear
To change for unseen Joys their troubles here. ”

“ Nay, then, at thine: Be whom thou wilt, that Name
Tells me thou’rt no Friend.
Sebast. Courage, Sebastian’s by thee.
My fears are come about, for I am kill’d;
Francisco, fare thee well.
[Dyes.]
Fran. ’Tis double Death to see my Friend dye thus.
Was’t not enough, you Fates, to take my Life,
But I must guilty be of murd’ring him.
Serv. My Lord, how do you?
Ger. Making what haste I can to meet Eugenia.
Serv. O me! Unfortunate!
Ger. Bewail me not; Death is a pleasure to me,
Since I can see Francisco lye there by me;
But ask him e’re I dye,
What made him kill Eugenia? ”

“ I, her Devotion and yours are much alike,
the Fit ne’re took you but once in your Lives, and
then, ’tis true you wept at Prayers, that was, at your
own Christnings.
Jasp. Prethee more Charity, sweet dear Flora; come, let
me kiss thee.
Flor. Pray forbear, I’de sooner kiss a Horse.
Jasp. Why so scornful, dear Flora?
Flor. That’s not my bus’ness; come, tell me, where’s the Nurse?
Jasp. Prethee, why dost ask me for the Nurse? Dost think
i am so hot to make Love to a Monument? Why, she’s
old enough to be Mother of all Mankind ”

“ Nurse Yes, the Lord Sebastian, he knows all, and alwayes
waits upon ’em.
Jasp. That’s well, keep thou the secret close, and ne’re fear me;
but if my Lord should ask suspitiously questions
11 C2 about his Wife—name Pedro to him, say, when he’s
from Home, that Fellow stayes too long within her
chamber, and say, that Flora waits; leave me to prove
it true.
Nurse. Why, ’tis not so, I dare not tell my Lord so damn’d a Lye.
Jasp. Why? Y’are a Fool, there shall no hurt come of it,
only we’l be Reveng’d of Pedro, and that Slut, for
they’re our Enemies ”

“ Come, prethee say no more, ’tis ominous,
I wonder much what ’tis shou’d make thee thus.
Come, you must go this Night: I’le tell you why,
’Twill be the last, for she’s to Marry,
To Marry Don Gerardo! O ’tis rare,
I am Reveng’d to th’ purpose.
Sebast.Sure you are
Turn’d Coward, or you ne’re wou’d glory in
Revenge so base, this doubles all your sin.
Gerardo’s brave, and sure all Honour bleeds,
When such are Wounded by Ignoble deeds.
It is the Curse of Man, that he must be
Subject to shame by Womens Levity ”