Amy Le Feuvre

“ The keen mountain air, the sweetness of the young bracken and gorse, and the carpets of bluebells in sheltered dells, all brought a feeling of joy to Anstice. She was never happier than when riding or walking over the Fells, and she was almost sorry when Ramdale was reached. Josie and Georgie had never ceased their happy chatter, but as they came round the lovely little lake called Dameswater, and saw it set like a turquoise in a circle of emerald green, Josie exclaimed:
"I've never been here before! Is this where Louise lives? Fancy hating this!" ”

“ After two months of agonized waiting, she heard through her friend that he was engaged to another girl, and had alluded to his time down at the Lake end as an "amusing episode." Then the iron entered into her soul, and Anstice saw that even now, after four years had passed, the blow was still heavy.
She put her arms in a motherly fashion round the girl.
"Oh, Louise," she said, "life is bigger than you think it. The time will come when you too will look back, and treat the past as only an episode. You have done nothing dishonourable; we women often love and trust too much. ”

“ I never was, as a boy."
"You led a more active life than Ruffie. He has time and opportunity to think out things. But I don't think it's unnatural for children to be religious. They take to it like ducklings take to water. It is their natural atmosphere. 'Of such is the Kingdom of Heaven.'"
"I don't want him to soar above me," persisted Justin. "He has always thought the world of his Dad. I am afraid of him learning to criticize my ideals, to find them empty and rotten, and then have a profound pity and contempt for me."
"Oh, Justin, nice children are never critics. ”

“ Lady Lucy heaved a sigh.
"Sensible girl. I felt that she needed to be saved from her impulsiveness! I can tell you again, Justin, that you have a woman in a thousand! Anstice is old for her age, as capable and efficient as—as a man, and she's just sweetness itself when you come to know her. She couldn't do a dishonourable thing. Courageous, unselfish, and loving. What could you want more for your children, to say nothing for yourself?" ”

“ His tone was not mocking, and yet beneath his steady gaze, Anstice felt that he was amusing himself at her expense.
"I always keep my promises," she said gently but firmly. "Which is my rightful place by our agreement? And who wants me most? The little ones or you?"
"We do, Steppie, we do," cried the little girls.
"Well, if you won't come out just yet, I must wait for you," said Justin, smiling enigmatically.
And then he got up, and put Ruffie into his wheeled chair with very tender hands.
"I haven't changed," he said; "I must go and have a bath. No hunting to-morrow. ”

“ Anstice was quick to scent the budding romance, and rejoiced in her heart at the thought of happiness rewarding Louise's devotion to her uncle.
Yet a little sigh followed her pleasant musings; and she was suddenly roused from them by Josie saying:
"You're much duller, Steppie, when Dad is away than when he is home. You always seem shut up to thinking."
"Am I?" laughed Anstice. "I must open myself at once then, Josie! I don't like dull people. ”

“ Justin said; "quarrels like that can't be mended."
"Oh, but it's dreadfully sad, and it brings such hardness and bitterness into lives which might be happy and serene in their old age."
"If people can't live at peace, let them part," said Justin sternly; "because you've lived together as children is no reason for continuing to do so when your tempers are contrary and your hearts bitter."
As he spoke, the quarrel between himself and his sister flashed into Anstice's mind. ”

“ We ought to be all travelling with our fingers on that thread. Heaven is the city, and prayer is the golden thread which keeps us in touch with our Saviour and King. We cannot and ought not, any of us, to travel through life entirely on our own."
There was silence; Josie was rocking the boat to and fro, but she was thinking, and Ruffie's beautiful eyes were dreamily gazing over the lake to the opposite hills, which were tinged with gold from the sun behind them. ”

“ Anstice laughed, but it was a tender laugh.
"Oh, you dear child!" she said. "If only you knew how many girls spend their youth toiling and slaving for others! Some, nursing invalid parents, taking care of brothers and sisters, never able to have a bit of enjoyment themselves. There are hundreds of brave, unselfish girls in the world, they are heroines, though the world is unconscious of their courage and patience and self-denial."
"Look at poor little Ruffie here! I often marvel at his patience and cheerfulness. ”

“ We have not the foundation for a happy wedded life, there is no love between us, so we have to be doubly careful as to our behaviour towards each other."
All this and more she told herself, but deep down in her heart there was more than a real liking for the handsome, self-willed man. She would not acknowledge that the tone of his voice and laugh, the sound of his quick, active feet about the house, that mischievous twinkle in his eyes which so often appeared in his talks with her and with Ruffie, brought a thrill to her soul. ”

“ Anstice had never realized how much he felt his boy's deformity. She said very gently:
"Poor darling Ruffie, it seems a sorry thing that his beautiful little presence should be the means of keeping up hatred and bitterness in your heart. Whatever his body may be, God in His mercy has given him great gifts of soul. Not only his charming, loving little personality which makes us all adore him, but in mental capacity and artistic genius. I believe he will do wonders with his pencil and paints if he lives to grow up. You have great reason to be proud of your boy. ”

“ Anstice rose. It had been a visit made much against her will and liking. And yet, as she shook hands with Miss Maybrick, she could not help saying in her tender way:
"We have all been treated so much better than we deserve. And mercy is such a much grander force than power, that even now I dare to hope that you will find a way out. A way of preserving your dignity of justice, together with a great compassionate love towards the one who has wronged you. ”

“ Justin's voice was hard.
"A North-country woman," said Anstice with a smile; "but North-country people are as deep in their loves as in their dislikes. What can we do? How can we win her?"
"Why should you trouble yourself about her?"
"Well, ever since Miss Maybrick's death, I have been wanting you to make it up with her. That seemed such a tragedy; and now, too late, the one sister left, mourns for the one she quarrelled with. Life here isn't very long; and your sister is getting old, much older than you, isn't she?" ”

“ She drove off, and Colonel Dermot turned to Anstice with a smile upon his face. He was a handsome, stalwart, grey-haired man, with energy imprinted upon his features.
"I'm not a car lover," he said; "in a country like this, one ought to walk to appreciate its beauties."
"That is how I feel," said Anstice; "I always have loved walking, and can anything be more perfect than the short springy turf on the Fells?" ”

“ Won't you prove yourselves men, my brothers, men of courage, of heroic patience and determination? Won't you brace your shoulders and prove yourselves men of mettle? And scorn to be afraid of the necessary difficulties that come before you? You are no longer infants in the nursery, to play with toys all day and be lulled to sleep after you are fed. You are no animals to eat, and drink, and go your own way like the cows and the sheep feeding and wandering to and fro in the Park with no one to hinder their movements."
Three pairs of eyes were staring hard now at Anstice. ”

“ ONE afternoon Anstice asked the little girls if they would like to ride over the Fells with her to Ramdale.
"I am going to see Louise," she said; "and it will be a lovely ride."
They were of course delighted to accompany her.
"Why can't I go too?" demanded Ruffie.
"It is rather too long for you, darling," Anstice told him. "You mustn't be unhappy at staying at home. To-morrow, if it is fine, it will be your turn. You and I will go off together, and Josie and Georgie stay at home."
"But there's always two of them, only one of me," objected Ruffie; "it isn't fair." ”

“ Anstice's voice was almost pained, then she smiled. "And if we love, it makes all things easy. If we love the One who loves us, we shall try to reach His Standard, and do what He would have us do. We must try together to reach God's Standard."
Justin shrugged his shoulders.
"I shall never be as religious as you are," he said, "but I wouldn't have you otherwise; for you're just perfect in my eyes!"
He would seldom be drawn into religious argument; and yet there was nothing he liked better than being an unseen listener to Anstice's Sunday stories, and talks with the children. ”

“ I have no conveyance of any kind, and shall soon be a bedridden cripple. I'm sure you and I would get on together. I love your dimples, and your smile. Will you come?"
"Indeed I will," Anstice promised her.
"I feel," she said to her husband as they were driving home together, "as if it is to be my mission to drag people out of their loneliness in these Fells. I've had a try with a young life, and now this is an old life. What a wonderful thing the love of home and possessions is to some people! Miss Maybrick would be so much more comfortable in a small modern house amongst neighbours. ”

“ Wait till the snow covers the hills, and we get a rosy sunset! And a cold, bright frosty day with low sunshine lying across the Fells, and the beautiful colouring of the lake, is too exquisite for words! I am never lonely in winter. I have my needlework and books, and sit looking out upon the lake till the moon rises, and then sit on watching that till bedtime. ”

“ I'm coming back, Ruffie, as fast as the train will take me, on Tuesday next, and I hope to arrive before bedtime. I will try to have my 'exack' smile to greet you. I am sorry there have been ructions of sorts between you young people, and that you have been both wicked and lonely, but I'll tell you a secret! I have felt lonely here, without any little head leaning against my shoulder, and eager voices shouting in my ear, 'Tell us more.' And as for wickedness, our hearts are much alike, and I'm afraid I know what it is to be wicked sometimes! ”

“ We will have a 'pow-wow' to-morrow evening in the nursery. Do you know what a 'pow-wow' is?"
"Some old rubbishy thing!" muttered Josie scornfully.
"It's what the Red Indians have. They sit round a fire, all the heads and chiefs are invited, and then they talk and talk and talk. Every one can have a say."
"What do they talk about?" inquired Georgie, a gleam of interest in her deep blue eyes.
"Whether they're going to have peace or war. It is settled once for all. Ruffie must take part in it. Shall we all dress up as Red Indians to make it real? ”

“ Justin went along the big hall with her, and as they stood in the porch waiting for the car which was coming round the drive, he said very quietly:
"May I give you a subject for your thoughts, a miserable harassed man, who thought he was steering into a peaceful harbour, and instead finds himself among the rocks again."
"I suppose," said Anstice slowly, "I am really a selfish woman. I am unwilling to sacrifice my life, and all that it entails, to ease a man who cannot shoulder his burden. If only you realized how little wealth and comfort appeal to me. ”