Amy Le Feuvre

“ Oh, Shags, you villain! I know what you're asking me! We'll have the window open, and then you will be free to gambol outside."
She rang the bell. Shags was waiting by the window expectantly, and when Janet opened the glass doors out he bounded. The air was sweet and fresh; the scent of a sweetbrier bush outside made Rowena's pulses beat with joy. She gazed out upon her green lawn. Shags went round it, sniffing at an old-fashioned flower-border. He unearthed a snail, turned it over with his nose in disgust, then made for a pert tom-tit strutting up and down the gravel path. ”

“ Mrs. Burke got up from her chair and paced the floor furiously. "I hate him!" she burst forth. "A narrow-minded bigot! He condemns every one who doesn't think alike with him. He will rule you and keep you under his thumb, and be a despotic tyrant. How can you be such a fool as to marry him? Don't you value your liberty and independence? Is it all settled?"
"We have loved each other for a long time," said Rowena. "You must remember I knew him before I met you."
Mrs. Burke came back to her seat.
"I feel inclined to blubber like a baby. I can't let you go, Rowena. ”

“ It is quite impossible. I know I am years older than you, that I am a quiet humdrum sort of creature, who has no attractive qualities for a bright young woman like yourself; but I cannot help that. My child loves you, and I—well, you have been in my heart and life from the first day I ever saw you, and I want your love if you can give it to me. I want to take you away from this life you are leading, back to Abertarlie. Will you give me the right to do it?"
Rowena's eyes were downcast. She did not speak for a moment. The rush of happiness that came to her heart almost overcame her self-control. ”

“ Both Ted and Rowena began to laugh, and Rowena's laughter was so infectious that Geraldine's grave face relaxed.
"Is it a joke?" she asked. "Of course you might like it for the summer, Rowena dear, but think of the winter! How could you live there? And you're a sociable creature and have always been accustomed to see a good many people. Why, it is fifty miles from rail! And there are no shops, or libraries, or theatres, or concerts, or the mildest form of amusement for you!"
Rowena held up her ten fingers.
"And now let us count the advantages:"
"No temptation to attract one off one's couch. ”

“ Rowena felt this delicate young woman was rather astonishing her.
"Can you teach what you do not believe yourself?" she inquired.
"Assuredly. I have always had the power of throwing my whole soul into the subject which I am studying. My head grips it and holds it, though my heart remains untouched."
"Mere mechanical motion," murmured Rowena; "well, machinery accomplishes wonders nowadays. But you cannot inspire them with enthusiasm if you do not feel it yourself."
"Enthusiasm is not good in religion," said Miss Falconer calmly. "It leads to fanaticism, which is unhealthy." ”

“ It is your avocation."
"Is it?" smiled Robert. "My mother would say it makes me a very unsociable creature to live with."
"It is irritating when one wants a cheerful gossip with him, to see his shoulders hunched up and his nose glued to a book," said Mrs. Macintosh quickly. "He is one of those readers who get so absorbed, that nothing but a shake and a scream will bring him back to me."
"Ah," said Rowena, "I plead guilty there. It is all right for oneself to be oblivious to all around, but a great bore to one's friends." ”

“ I shall advise Miss Arbuthnot to live half the year in London—certainly the greater part of the winter she ought to be here."
"But she loves the Highlands; don't you, Mignon?"
"I adore them, Flora. Sometimes a bit of bracken or the smell of a wood fire will give me a whiff of the sweet Highland air, and then I forget everything and everybody, for my soul flies over there at once, and my body sits with a daft smile, deaf to every one till my soul comes back again."
Mysie clapped her hands. ”

“ They both want to rule, they both want their own ways, and they go them, and then the fat is in the fire, there is a flare up, and divorce follows."
"But it's all wrong," said Di with sudden heat. "Why should men be selfish brutes? Why should they make life impossible for their wives unless they are their slaves and tools? Women will never again be subjugated by men, never! And I hope you'll never marry; I hope you'll never get a girl whom you are able to crush and mould according to your liking." ”

“ The journey to Scotland was made in driving wind and rain, but though Rowena felt the continual vibration of the train in every joint of her injured spine, she was as cheerful as a cricket, and kept Ellen in constant smiles.
"I never did hear a grown-up person talk such nonsense in all my life," she confided to the friendly guard, who took Rowena under his fatherly protection; "but she'd win a smile out of a cow, she would!"
Half a day's journey from Glasgow brought them to the last stage of their travels. Ellen was to take Rowena to the Lodge and sleep the night there. ”

“ Then one morning Rowena received the following letter from Di Dunstan:
"MY DEAR ROWENA,—"
"I'm taking you at your word, for I know you're the real good sort and mean what you say. Will you have me on a visit now? I have to put in a fortnight with some cousins in Perthshire at the end of the month, and I'm fed up with town. I don't believe I shall ever stick a flat all the year round. It isn't good enough! I'm bored stiff with the pack of humanity round me. I want light and air and breathing space; and, oh, for a horse and a gallop through the fresh untainted air on the heath or moor! ”

“ And Rowena tried to do it, but at present Mysie was not interested in religious talks.
"You're good, and Dad is good, and Miss Panton is good, but you're all grown-up. I shall get like it one day, but not just yet," she would say. Then she would add hastily, "I do pray always when I get into a fix, and God hears me sometimes. But I can't be always thinking about heaven. I do love my dear earth so much; and as for the loch, I adore it, and if heaven has no lochs, I don't think I shall be happy there at all!" ”

“ What do you think of Mysie?"
"She has grown and developed wonderfully."
"She is most intelligent—able to talk with me on any subject, and a most interesting companion. But she has a very strong will of her own."
"Like her father," said Rowena mischievously.
"Yes, but women are not required to have as strong wills as men."
"Oh, you old-fashioned person! If a strong will is a good thing why should we not share it? A weak woman very often makes a bad man! Don't try to eradicate the strength in Mysie's character." ”

“ Rowena laughed a little unsteadily.
"Di, dear. I've always liked you, partly because Mrs. Burke was so fond of you, partly for your own sake. Do use your mental powers. There are many circles in the world, all different, but all moving round their own centres. Change your centre. If one circle fails you—or one centre I'll say—for goodness' sake don't go on tramping it for ever, but leave it and try another." ”

“ General Macdonald said. "And the fact is, Rowena, I am always longing to have you to myself. We have the house full enough now; every additional visitor absorbs more of your time. It sounds selfish—but it's a fact. I want a quiet life."
"My dear Hugh, think of the coming winter. In another month or so all our neighbours will have departed, and you and I will have our fireside to ourselves. I am looking forward to a winter with you alone. And we shall enjoy it all the more for not having the house to ourselves now. When does Mr. Ross want to come?" ”

“ General Macdonald said nothing. He would not be drawn. Mysie came over to wish Rowena good-bye; and there were some tears shed.
"Of course, I'm not a baby," she said valiantly; "and Dad says I shall be home for Christmas, and he'll be here too, but I feel as if I'm going to be a prisoner now. And if it gets beyond bearing, I shall run away. I know I shall, and then what will happen?"
"You will be caught and sent back again. I wouldn't do that if I were you. Only cowards run away from disagreeables. A Flora Macdonald never would!" ”

“ You know your Bible as well as I do."
"I want to be told," said Mrs. Burke very slowly and impressively, "how my present life can be made bearable. You tried to take away my zest for the life I loved when you first came to me. Now I want you to give me zest for this changed life of mine. Can you do it?"
"I don't think I can," said Rowena slowly and thoughtfully; "but I can tell you how to get it. Why should your life be emptier now than it has been? On the contrary, you can make it much fuller."
"My dear, when a woman of my age becomes a hopeless, helpless invalid she drops out of everything. ”

“ Rowena watched with anxiety Mrs. Burke's efforts to capture the girl's affection. She saw how much she loved her popularity, and how she tried to attract the young. Always fearless, Rowena spoke to her one day about it: "Do you really think you will put fresh happiness into Maude's life by making her discontented with her home, and giving her a taste for things out of her sphere?"
"I love to see the young thoughtless. They ought to be."
"It's the crackling of the thorns under the pot," said Rowena. "I often wonder how you can keep it up; you are worthy of higher things!" ”

“ How will Rowena get up there, and who will go with her? And she cannot live alone with old Granny Mactavish. We have always taken our own maids up there and a chauffeur. Rowena must have a nice maid to attend upon her."
"No, thanks—not if I know it! I couldn't stand the whines of a lonely frightened maid. No young person could stand a Loch Tarlie winter. As for me, I am as old as the hills. They say a woman is as old as she feels—and I feel just a thousand and one since my spill!" ”

“ Is there a single position of power or influence which woman is now not competent to fill?"
"The biggest position of power and influence for a woman is the home," said Rowena very quietly.
Miss Falconer looked at her, and once as often before Rowena's eyes misled her.
"You are laughing at me. Thank goodness we have enlarged our borders, and broken the chains of subservient, degrading service under the male."
"And now we'll have tea," said Rowena, turning to welcome Janet with the tea tray. "Whatever the modern woman has learnt, she has not yet broken away from the thrall of the tea-cup." ”

“ Her elements of humanity do not harmonize. Aristocrats and violent radicals, oldish women who have been beauties, and young intolerant girls who laugh at them. I admire her wonderful adaptability, and good temper in dealing with them all. But I wouldn't have such guests in a house of mine for all the wealth in the world! And yet she hasn't a wrinkle on her face, and her energy in 'rolling the ball,' as she expresses it, is superhuman!"
"She's a very tiring old woman," said Mrs. Arbuthnot; "she ought to be content with a quiet life at her age."
Rowena laughed. ”

“ Thank goodness Miss Falconer will keep her quiet for half every day now. She's an ideal companion when one wants to lounge or laze, but not when one wants to read and attend to business matters. And in the early morning I'm testy and crusty—always have been."
"I do like you when you're human," said Rowena, laughing. "Why is it that absolutely perfect people never appeal to one? ”

“ I used to talk like that when I was young."
"You are very comforting," he said with a grave smile. "I would like Mysie to grow up like you."
"Oh, never!" cried Rowena. "You don't mean it. I hope she'll do something more with her life than I have with mine. I have never done so much introspecting in all my days as I have since I've been on my back. I've been too busy and one just lives without questioning the whys and wherefores of life. But I'm beginning to see I haven't much to show for my years of life, so far."
"How do you regard life?" asked General Macdonald. ”

“ Rowena got her trap and pony, and trundled about the sweet-smelling lanes with the children inside it.
Before long they were on pleasant terms of intimacy with their neighbours, but to Rowena Mrs. Burke was the most interesting personality of them all.
She was always entertaining; and as the summer drew on, private theatricals, tennis parties, and picnics followed each other in quick succession. Her friends from town were not always liked by the county. She had a good many Bohemians, and stray geniuses, who contributed towards the general gaiety with their freakish talent. ”

“ Rowena put her arm round her and kissed her.
"Thank you a thousand times, Flora darling! I will keep this till I die."
"And what did you call it, not a Bible, but an unmarkable concordance, didn't you?"
"That's near enough," laughed Rowena.
Then they had tea, and Granny's birthday cake was much appreciated. Mysie, of course, was full of the subject of birthdays.
"When is God's birthday?" she asked suddenly. "Does the Bible tell you? I know Jesus' birthday is Christmas Day. I should like to know God's birthday, if He lets people know. He must be very, very, very old." ”

“ If you started to read it, you would find it would tell you all you want to know."
"I suppose I may as well tell you that when I was seeing death so close to me out of the car windows, when we stuck in the river, that I was in such a funk that I vowed a vow—I really did. I promised to alter my life, if it was spared. I suppose I shall have to do it."
"Then if you have made up your mind to do that, you'll end by being a very happy woman," said Rowena. "And you don't want any more sermons from me, for you know what will bring peace to your soul." ”

“ Do you think that women—girls, I should say—ought to be trained to earn their own living, so as to be independent of our sex? As I heard some of the nurses declaiming against their dull homes, I gave a thought sometimes to their dull old parents. I shall be one of them when my girl grows up. How can I expect her to stay at home with me, if all the young world is out and away from their homes?"
"By the time Mysie is grown-up the swing of the pendulum will be back the home way again," said Rowena. ”

“ A man is handicapped when he has to train a girl child. And she wants training. If she had been a boy, I would have found the task easier."
"Oh, don't take her so heavily," said Rowena. "Let her trot round with you, and do things with you. She'll learn from your talk what is right and wrong."
"Will she? I'm a poor specimen at the best; and I know nothing of women and their ways."
"Bring her up as a boy, then," said Rowena, laughing at his forlorn tone. "She is, as she says, half a boy already. Don't act the heavy father. Of course she will have to be educated later on. ”