Anton Pavlovich Chekhov

“ When he had gone Kamyshev went to the window and began to breathe on the glass.
“Eight years have passed since then,” he began again, after a short silence, “and for eight years I have borne this secret within me. But such a secret and live blood are incompatible in the same organism; it is impossible to know without punishment what the rest of mankind does not know. For all these eight years I have felt myself a martyr. It was not my conscience that tormented me, no! Conscience is a thing apart ... ”

“ Ladies and men on horseback were riding on either side. Count Karnéev, clad in a green shooting costume that looked more like a buffoon's than a sportsman's, bending slightly forward and to one side, galloped about unmercifully on his black horse. Looking at his bent body and at the expression of pain that constantly appeared on his lean face, one could have thought that he was riding for the first time. A new double-barrelled gun was slung across his back, and at his side he had a game-bag in which a wounded woodcock tossed about.
Olga Urbenin was the ornament of the cavalcade. ”

“ I suffer! But where has one time to question oneself, to settle various questions when every moment one feels happy, when one forgets one's age, ugliness ... the whole homo sum, Sergei Petrovich! And when for a second, thoughts run through my pate of the inequality of years, I don't break my head for an answer, but calm myself as well as I can. I think I have made Olga happy. I have given her a father and my children a mother. Besides, all this is like a novel, and my head feels giddy. It was wrong to make me drink sherry.”
Urbenin rose, wiped his face with his napkin, and sat down again. ”

“ The ladies' noses became blue and the chilly Count began rubbing his hands. Nothing at that moment could be more appropriate than the odour of charcoal in the samovars and the clatter of the tea service. One-eyed Kuz'ma, puffing and panting and stumbling about in the long grass, dragged forward a case of cognac. We began to warm ourselves.
A long outing in the fresh cool air acts on the appetite better than any appetising drops, and after it the balyk,7 the caviar, the roast partridge and the other viands were as caressing to the sight as roses are on an early spring morning. ”

“ On many of the faces that lay within the field of my vision, notwithstanding all their efforts to appear gay and unconcerned, even an idiot could have read an expression of compassion.
Arrayed in a new dress suit, I stood behind Olenka, holding the crown over her head. I was pale and felt unwell.... I had a racking headache, the result of the previous night's carouse and a pleasure party on the lake and the whole time I was looking to see if the hand that held the crown did not tremble.... My soul felt the disagreeable presentiment of dread that is felt in a forest on a rainy autumn night. ”

“ I looked round at Urbenin in order to ask him who this girl was, and, strange to say, it was only at that moment I noticed that he was terribly drunk. He was as red as a crawfish, he tottered and, seizing my elbow, he whispered into my ear, exhaling the fumes of spirit on me:
“Sergey Petrovich, I implore you prevent the Count from making any further remarks about this girl! He may, from habit say too much; she is a most worthy person!” ”

“ This many coloured noisy throng looked like a flight of starlings which in flying past had alighted to rest in a neglected churchyard or—may the noble bird forgive me such a comparison!—a flight of storks that in the twilight of one of their migratory days had settled down on the ruins of a deserted castle.
I sat there hating that crowd which frivolously examined the decaying wealth of the Counts Karnéev. The mosaic walls, the carved ceilings, the rich Persian carpets and the rococo furniture excited enthusiasm and astonishment. A self-satisfied smile never left the Count's moustachioed face. ”

“ Having finished his toilet he expressed a wish to examine Urbenin once more. Poor Pëtr Egorych had nothing new to tell us at this examination; as before he denied his guilt, and thought nothing of our evidence.
“I am astonished that I can be suspected,” he said, shrugging his shoulders: “Strange!”
“My good fellow, don't play the naïf,” Polugradov said to him. “Nobody is suspected without cause, and if somebody is suspected there is good cause for it!”
“Whatever the causes may be, however strong the evidence may be, one must reason in a humane manner! Don't you understand, I can't murder? ”

“ He would not have paced from corner to corner, he would not have seized his head in both hands, he would not have made all sorts of plans, but he would have left all to life which grinds into flour even mill-stones. Life would have digested everything without asking for his aid or permission.... But I am fearsome almost to cowardice. Pacing from corner to corner, I suffered from compassion for Olga, and at the same time I feared she would understand the proposal I had made her in a moment of passion, and would appear in my house to stay as I had promised her, for ever. ”

“ Wearied of the dullness of town, I want to hear once again the roar of the giant lake and gallop along its banks on my Zorka.... I would forgive and forget everything if I could once again go along the road to Tenevo and meet the gardener Franz with his vodka barrel and jockey-cap.... There are moments when I am even ready to press the blood-stained hand of good-natured Pëtr Egorych, and talk with him about religion, the harvest and the enlightenment of the people.... I would like to meet “Screw” and his Nadenka again....
Life is mad, licentious, turbulent—like a lake on an August night.... ”

“ Without entering into details, I will only say that I was unspeakably glad and at the same time almost consumed by shame when, turning out of the Count's homestead, I saw on the bank of the lake the holy old face, all wrinkled by honest work and illness, of venerable Mikhey. In appearance Mikhey resembles the fishermen of the Bible. His hair and beard are white as snow, and he gazes contemplatively at the sky.... When he stands motionless on the bank and his eyes follow the chasing clouds, you can imagine that he sees angels in the sky.... I like such faces!... ”

“ What would that moustachioed coxcomb think if, after our stupid conversation, I went to him as if nothing had happened? Would it not be a confession of my own injustice?
Besides, as an honest man I ought to break off all connexion with Olga. All further intercourse with her could only lead to her ruin. She had made a mistake in marrying Urbenin; in falling in love with me she had made another mistake. If she had a secret lover while living with her old husband, would she not be like a depraved doll? ”

“ When the wedding procession, bright with many tints and colours in the sunlight, was proceeding from the church to the Count's house, Olenka suddenly made a backward step, stopped, and gave her husband's elbow such a violent pull that he staggered.
“He's been let out!” she said aloud, looking at me with terror.
Poor little thing! Her insane father, the forester Skvortsov, was running down the avenue to meet the procession. Waving his hands and stumbling along with rolling, insane eyes, he presented a most unattractive picture. ”

“ It is sinful and shameful, Pëtr Egorych!”
“Sergei Petrovich, young man,” the murderer suddenly said in a soft, tender voice, seizing me by the hand, “you are an honest and respectable man! Do not ruin and stain yourself with false suspicions and over-hasty accusations! You cannot understand how cruelly and painfully you have wounded me by casting upon my soul, which is in no way guilty, a new accusation.... I am a martyr, Sergei Petrovich! Fear to wrong a martyr! ”

“ Olenka said, pouting.
A minute passed in silence.... I gazed at the pretty girl, at her young, almost childish face, and was astonished that she could make such terrible jokes! I instantly pictured to myself Urbenin, elderly, fat, red-faced with his standing-out ears and hard hands, whose very touch could only scratch that young female body which had scarcely begun to live.... Surely the thought of such a picture must frighten this pretty wood fay, who knew how to look poetically at the sky when it is reft by lightning and thunder growls angrily! ”

“ Olga laughed like a consoled child who had forgotten its injury. And the Count looking at her laughed too.
“Do you know what I have thought of?” he began, sitting down next to her. “I want to arrange private theatricals. We shall act plays in which there are good women's parts. Eh? What do you say to that?”
They began to talk about the private theatricals. How ill this silly chatter accorded with the terror that had but lately been depicted on Olga's face, when only an hour before she had rushed into the room, pale and weeping, with flowing hair! How cheap were those terrors, those tears! ”

“ Whenever the noble bird which I had killed screamed out his phrase about the husband who killed his wife, Urbenin's figure always arose before my mind's eye. Why?... I knew that jealous husbands often kill their unfaithful wives; at the same time I knew that such men as Urbenin do not kill people.... And I drove away the thought of the possibility of Olga being killed by her husband as something absurd. ”

“ I have said that my novel is a story of crime, and now, when the case of the murder of Olga Urbenin is complicated by another murder, in many ways mysterious and incomprehensible, the reader is entitled to expect that the novel will enter upon its most interesting and exciting phase. The discovery of the criminal, and the reasons for his crime, offer a wide field for the display of ingenuity and sharp-wittedness. Here evil will and cunning are at war with knowledge and skill, a war that is interesting in all its manifestations.... ”

“ Urbenin half-filled the tumbler again and swigged it off.
“I think you did not drink formerly, Pëtr Egorych,” I said.
“Yes, but now I drink ... I drink terribly!” he whispered. “Terribly, day and night, not giving myself a moment's respite! Even the Count never drank to such an extent as I do now.... It is dreadfully hard, Sergei Petrovich! God alone knows what a weight I have on my heart! It's just grief that makes me drink.... I always liked and honoured you, Sergei Petrovich, and I can tell you quite candidly.... I'd often be glad to hang myself!” ”

“ Well, why should you not go to her? You love her! Even if you do not love her, why should you not sacrifice your leisure to her? Human life is precious, and for it one can give ... all! Save her life!”
Somebody knocked loudly at my door. I shuddered.... My heart bled.... I do not believe in presentiments, but this time my alarm was not without cause.... Somebody was knocking at my door from without....
“Who is there?” I cried out of the window.
“I come to beg your favour!”
“What do you want?”
“A letter from the Count, your Honour! There has been a murder!” ”

“ Kamyshev turned his flushed face towards me and, forcing himself to smile, he continued:
“It is interesting how such an idea could have come into your head! Have I written something like that in my novel? By God, that's interesting.... Tell me, please! It really is interesting once in a lifetime to try what it feels like to be looked upon as a murderer.”
“You are a murderer,” I said, “and you are not able to hide it. In the novel you lied, and now you are proving yourself but a poor actor.” ”

“ Urbenin whispered to me. He had come in for a moment to listen to our singing.
He was certainly right. Further, I remember: the Count and I are standing in the garden face to face, and quarrelling. Black-browed Kaetan is walking about near us all the time, taking no part in our jollifications, nevertheless he had also not slept but had followed us about like a shadow.... The sky is already brightening, and on the very summits of the highest trees the golden rays of the rising sun are beginning to shine. ”

“ Your work is noble.... Everybody must glorify you, be afraid of you; but if you break people's heads with that devil and bathe in the lake in all your clothes, everyone will say: ‘He has no sense! He's an empty-headed fellow!’ And so that reputation will be noised about the whole world! Foolhardiness is suitable for merchants, but not for noblemen.... Noblemen require science and office....”
“All right! Enough, enough....”
“Sergey Petrovich, don't keep company with that Count. If you want to have a friend, who could be better than Doctor Pavel Ivanovich? ”

“ Tina stands there, pale as death, but proud and self-loving; she has pressed her lips tightly together so as not to betray by a single sound the fear she feels. We fly ever higher and higher, and ... I can't remember how it ended. Then there follows a walk with Tina in a distant avenue of the park, with green vaults above that protect it from the sun. A poetical twilight, black tresses, luscious lips, whispers.... Then the little contralto is walking beside me, a fair-haired girl with a sharp little nose, childlike eyes and a small waist. ”

“ Near the horizon the church and houses of the Count's estate gleamed white. To their right the mirror-like surface of the lake stretched out wide, and to the left the “Stone Grave” rose darkly....
“What a terrible woman!” Nadinka whispered to me every time Olga came up to our wagonette. “What a terrible woman! She's as bad as she's pretty!... How long ago is it since you were best man at her wedding? She has not had time to wear out her wedding shoes, and she is already wearing another man's silk and is flaunting in another man's diamonds. ”

“ Afterwards, Olga told me that immediately after my departure, as soon as the sound of my steps became mingled with the noise of the wind in the garden, the drunken Count was pressing her in his embrace. And she, closing her eyes and stopping up her mouth and nostrils, was scarcely able to keep her feet from a feeling of disgust. There was even a moment when she had almost torn herself away from his embraces and rushed into the lake. There were moments when she tore her hair and wept. It is not easy to sell oneself. ”

“ I said, “but you must take the life of the man who convicted you! And you continue to act your dirty, roguish comedy!”
Urbenin grew deadly pale and began to shake....
“You lie!” he cried, striking himself on the breast with his fist.
“I do not lie! You shed crocodile tears at our evidence and made game of it.... There were moments when I almost wished to believe you more than our evidence.... Oh, you are a good actor!... But now I won't believe you, even should blood flow from your eyes instead of these play-actor's false tears! Say that you killed Kuz'ma!” ”

“ She's capable of standing before the mirror from morning to evening in a new frock; she is capable of crying for days and nights about a spoilt flounce.... She's terribly vain! What chiefly pleases her in me is that I'm a Count. She would never have loved me had I not been a Count. Never a dinner or supper passes that she does not reproach me with tears in her eyes, for not surrounding myself with aristocratic society. ”