Aphra Behn

“ Talk to thee—by Fortune, I’ll play the Tarquin with thee, if thou yieldest not quickly—for thou hast set me all on fire.
Phil. Defend me, Heaven, from such a Man.
Sir Tim. Then it must defend you from all the Sex; for all Mankind are like me, nay, and all Womankind are, or wou’d be, what I must make thee.
Phil. What’s that, a Wench?
Sir Tim. Fie, fie, that’s a gross Name; no, a Miss, that’s the Word— a Lady of Delight, a Person of Pleasure and the rest; I’ll keep thee, not a Woman of Quality shall be half so fine—Come, dear Phillis, yield. ”

“ Indeed, Erminia, you must grant my suit,
Where Love and Honour calls, make no dispute.
Pity a Youth that never lov’d before,
Remember ‘tis a Prince that does adore;
Who offers up a Heart that never found
It could receive, till from your Eyes, a wound.
Er. To your command should I submit to yield, Where could I from Alcippus be conceal’d? What could defend me from his jealous Rage?
Gal. Trust me, Erminia, I’ll for that engage.
Er. And then my Honour by that flight’s o’erthrown.
Gal. That being Philander’s, he’ll preserve his own; And that, Erminia, sure you’ll ne’er distrust. ”

“ By Heaven, a very Devil!
Sir Tim. Come, come, approach her; for if you’ll have a Miss, this has all the good Qualities of one—go, go Court her, thou art so bashful—
Bel. I cannot frame my Tongue to so much Blasphemy, as ‘tis to say kind things to her—I’ll try my Heart though—Fair Lady—Damn her, she is not fair—nor sweet—nor good—nor—something I must say for a beginning. Come, Lady—dry your Eyes: This Man deserves not all the Tears you shed. —So—at last the Devil has got the better of me, And I am enter’d.
Flaunt. You see, Sir, how miserable we Women are that love you Men. ”

“ Dost know where my Erminia lies to night?
Alcan. I guess, Sir.
Phi. Where? Nay, prithee speak, Indeed I shall not be offended at it.
Alcan. I know not why you should, Sir; She’s where she ought, abed with young Alcippus.
Phi. Thou speak’st thy real Thoughts.
Alcan. Why should your Highness doubt it?
Phi. By Heaven, there is no faith in Woman-kind; Alcander, dost thou know an honest Woman?
Alcan. Many, Sir.
Phi. I do not think it, ‘tis impossible; Erminia, if it could have been, were she, But she has broke her Vows, which I held sacred, And plays the wanton in another’s arms. ”

“ Now when I doubt thy Fortune is declining,
As if the Universe were thine.
Pert. That, Madam, is a noble Gratitude. For if his Fortune be declining, ‘tis sacrificed to his Passion for your Ladyship. —’Tis all laid out on Love.
L. Ful. I prize my Honour more than Life,
Yet I had rather have given him all he wish’d of me,
Than be guilty of his Undoing.
Pert. And I think the Sin were less.
L. Ful. I must confess, such Jewels, Rings and Presents as he made me, must needs decay his Fortune.
Bred. Ay, Madam, his very Coach at last was turned into a Jewel for your Ladyship. ”

“ If I must marry any but Celinda,
I shall not, Sir, enjoy one moment’s Bliss:
I shall be quite unman’d, cruel and brutal;
A Beast, unsafe for Woman to converse with.
Besides, Sir, I have given my Heart and Faith,
And my second Marriage is Adultery.
Lord. Heart and Faith, I am glad ‘tis no worse; if the Ceremony of the Church has not past, ‘tis well enough.
Bel. All, Sir, that Heaven and Love requires, is past.
Lord. Thou art a Fool, Frank, come—dry thy Eyes. And receive Diana—Trusty, call in my Niece. ”

“ Car. All night with Clara say’st thou? that was lucky; But was she kind, my friend?
Ant. As I desir’d, or Honour wou’d permit her; Nor wou’d I press her farther.
Car. A very moderate Lover.
Ant. For some part of my Virtue, Sir, I owe to you; in midst of all my Love, even in the kindest moments of Delight, my Joys were broken by concern for you.—Julia this day, or very suddenly, leaves Cadiz.
Car. By Heaven, and so will Carlos then; for I’m so resolutely bent to possess that dear Creature, That I will do’t with hazard of my Life, Expence of Fortune, or what’s dear to me. ”

“ Guz. No, Heaven forbid, I am too good a Christian to part Man and Wife; but being naturally inclined to works of Charity, I will with one project I have in this noddle of mine,—make old Francisco a Cuckold, accommodate my Lord and Julia, serve you, Sir,—and give our selves a good Scene of Mirth.
Car. Thou amazest me.
Guz. If I do’t not, send me to the Galleys; nay, and so far cure the Jealousy of the old Fellow, that from a rigid suspicious troublesom Fool, he shall become so tame and gentle a Husband,—that he shall desire you to favour him so much as to lie with his dear Wife. ”

“ Sharp. And in three Weeks, should you wed a Cynthia, you’d be a Monster.
Sir Tim. What, thou meanest a Cuckold, I warrant. God help thee! But a Monster is only so from its Rarity, and a Cuckold is no such strange thing in our Age.
Enter Bellmour and Friendlove.
But who comes here? Bellmour! Ah, my little dear Rogue! how dost thou? —Ned Friendlove too! Dear Lad, how dost thou too? Why, welcome to Town, i’faith, and I’m glad to see you both.
Friend. Sir Timothy Tawdrey!—
Sir Tim. The same, by Fortune, dear Ned: And how, and how, Man, how go Matters? ”

“ And have not Courage left to kill my self.
Er. A Fate more glorious does that Life attend, And does preserve you for a nobler end.
Alcip. Erminia, do not sooth my easy Heart, For thou my Fate, and thou my Fortune art; Whatever other blessings Heaven design, Without my dear Erminia, I’ll decline. Yet, Madam, let me hope before I go, In pity that you ought to let me do: ’.is all you shall allow m’impatient heart.
Er. That’s what against my will I must impart: But wish it please the Gods, when next we meet, We might as Friends, and not as Lovers greet. ”

“ Enter Gayman with his Hat and Money in’t, Sir Cautious in a rage, Sir Feeble, Lady Fulbank, Leticia, Captain Noisey, Bellmour.
Sir Cau. A hundred Pound lost already! Oh Coxcomb, old Coxcomb, and a wise Coxcomb—to turn Prodigal at my Years, why, I was bewitcht!
Sir Feeb. Shaw, ‘twas a Frolick, Sir, I have lost a hundred Pound as well as you. My Lady has lost, and your Lady has lost, and the rest— what, old Cows will kick sometimes, what’s a hundred Pound?
Sir Cau. A hundred Pound! why, ‘tis a sum, Sir—a sum—why, what the
Devil did I do with a Box and Dice! ”

“ Car. You shall be call’d the beautiful Sultana, And rule in my Seraglio drest with Jewels.
Fran. Sure, I shall burst with Vengeance.
Jul. Sir, let your Virtue regulate your Passions; For I can ne’er love any but my Husband.
Fran. Ah, dissembling Witch!
Jul. And wou’d not break my Marriage Vows to him, For all the honour you can heap upon me.
Fran. Say, and hold; but Sultana and precious Stones are damnable Temptations,—besides, the Rogue’s young and handsome,—What a scornful look she casts at me; wou’d they were both handsomely at the Devil together. ”

“ What wou’d the Great Sultana?
Isa. Ah! do not pierce my Heart with this unkindness.
Guil. Ha, ha, ha,—Pages,—give order, I have Letters writ to Sevil, to my Merchant,—I will be ransomed instantly.
Isa. Ah, cruel Count!
Guil. Meaning me, Lady! ah, fy! no, I am a Scoundrel; I a Count, no, not I, a Dog, a very Chim—hum,—a Son of a Whore, I, not worthy your notice.
Isa. Oh, Heavens! must I lose you then? no, I’ll die first.
Guil. Die, die, then; for your Betters must be served before you.
Isa. Oh! I shall rave; false and lovely as you are, did you not swear to marry me, and make me a Viscountess. ”

“ SCENE VIII. The Gallery. Enter Falatius and Labree.
Fal. Wert thou never valiant, Labree?
Lab. Yes, Sir, before I serv’d you, and since too: I Am provok’d to give you proofs on’t sometimes; For when I am angry I am a very Hector.
Fal. Ay, the Devil when a body’s angry, but that’s
Not the Valour in mode; Men fight now a-days
Without that, and even embrace whilst they draw
Their Swords on one another.
Lab. Ay, Sir, those are Men that despise their lives.
Fal. Why, that’s it, Labree, that I would learn to do, And which I fear, nothing but Poverty will make me do ”

“ What the Devil can all this mean? If there be a Woman in the Case—sure I have not liv’d so bad a Life, to gain the dull Reputation of so modest a Coxcomb, but that a Female might down with me, without all this Ceremony. Is it care of her Honour?—that cannot be—this Age affords none so nice: Nor Fiend nor Goddess can she be, for these I saw were Mortal. No—’tis a Woman—I am positive. Not young nor handsom, for then Vanity had made her glory to have been seen. ”

“ Why, how now, Frank—by Fortune, the Rogue is Maudlin—So, ho, ho, so ho.
Bel. The matter?
Sir Tim. Oh, art awake—What a Devil ail’st thou, Frank?
Bel. A Wench, or any thing—come, let’s drink a round.
Sham. They’re come as wisht for.
Enter Flauntit, Driver, Doll and Jenny mask’d.
Bel. Oh, damn ‘em! What shall I do? Yet it would look like Virtue to avoid ‘em. No, I must venture on—Ladies, y’are welcome.
Sir Tim. How, the Women?—Hold, hold, Bellmour, let me choose too—
Come, come, unmask, and shew your pretty Faces.
Flaunt. How, Sir Timothy! What Devil ow’d me a spite. ”

“ Org. What is’t, Erminia? freely speak thy mind.
Er. Ah, Sir, I dare not, you inrag’d will grow.
Org. Erminia, you have seldom found me so; If no mean Passion have thy Soul possest, Be what it will I can forgive the rest.
Er. No, Sir, it is no crime, or if it be, Let Prince Philander make the Peace for me; He ‘twas that taught the Sin (if Love be such.)
Org. Erminia, peace, he taught you then too much.
Er. Nay, Sir, you promis’d me you wou’d not blame My early Love, if ‘twere a noble Flame. ”

“ SCENE II. A Chamber. Celinda in her Night-Attire, leaning on a Table.
Enter to her Bellmour and Nurse.
Cel. Oh Heavens! Mr. Bellmour at this late Hour in my Chamber!
Bel. Yes, Madam; but will approach no nearer till you permit me; And sure you know my Soul too well to fear.
Cel. I do, Sir, and you may approach yet nearer, And let me know your Business.
Bel. Love is my bus’ness, that of all the World; Only my Flame as much surmounts the rest, As is the Object’s Beauty I adore. ”

“ Expect none from me; no, thou shalt not have So much of thy Estate, as will afford thee Bread: By Heav’n, thou shalt not.
Bel. Oh, pity me, my Lord, pity my Youth;
It is no Beggar, nor one basely born,
That I have given my Heart to, but a Maid,
Whose Birth, whose Beauty, and whose Education
Merits the best of Men.
Lord. Very fine! where is the Priest that durst dispose of you without my Order? Sirrah, you are my Slave—at least your whole Estate is at my mercy—and besides, I’ll charge you with an Action of 5000 pounds. For your ten Years Maintenance: Do you know that this in my power too? ”

“ Isa. Till Night, no; whate’er it be, I wou’d not be without an Inch of that Ceremony, that may compleat my Honour for the World; no, for Heaven’s sake, let’s retire, and dub me presently.
Guil. Time enough, time enough.
Isa. You love me not, that can deny me this.
Guil. Love—no, we are married now, and People of our Quality never Love after Marriage; ‘tis not great.
Isa. Nay, let’s retire, and compleat my Quality, and you will find me a Wife of the Mode, I’ll warrant you.
Guil. For once you have prevail’d.
Enter Francisco. ”

“ Fal. Thou art a Coxcomb, to think a man of my
Quality needs the advantage of Handsomness:
A trifle as insignificant as Wit or Valour; poor
Nothings, which Men of Fortune ought to despise.
Lab. Why do you then keep such a stir, to gain The reputation of this thing you so despise?
Fal. To please the peevish humour of a Woman, Who in that point only is a Fool.
Lab. You had a Mistress once, if you have not Forgotten her, who would have taken you with All these faults.
Fal. There was so; but she was poor, that’s the Devil, I could have lov’d her else. —But go thy ways; what dost thou muse on? ”

“ Your Mistress is not so divine as I, And shou’d I, ‘gainst himself, believe the Man Who first inspir’d my Heart with Love’s soft Flame?
Bel. What Bliss on me insensibly you throw!
I’d rather hear thee swear, thou art my Foe,
And like some noble and romantick Maid
With Poniards wou’d my stubborn Heart invade;
And whilst thou dost the faithful Relique tear,
In every Vein thoud’st find Celinda there.
Dia. Come, Sir, you must forget Celinda’s Charms,
And reap Delights within my circling Arms,
Delights that may your Errors undeceive,
When you find Joys as great as she can give. ”

“ I must get in with this damn’d Mistress of mine, or all our Plot will be spoil’d for want of Intelligence. —Hum, the Devil does not use to fail me at a dead Lift. I must deliver these Letters, and I must have this Wench—though but to be reveng’d on her for abusing me—Let me see—she is resolv’d for the Apothecary or the Farmer. Well, say no more, honest Scaramouch; thou shalt find a Friend at need of me—and if I do not fit you with a Spouse, say that a Woman has out-witted me. ”

“ Old W. What, do you fear a longing Woman, Sir?
Gay. The Devil I do—this is a damn’d Preparation to Love.
Old W. Why stand you gazing, Sir? A Woman’s Passion is like the Tide, it stays for no man when the hour is come—
Gay. I’m sorry I have took it at its Turning; I’m sure mine’s ebbing out as fast.
Old W. Will you not speak, Sir—will you not on?
Gay. I wou’d fain ask—a civil Question or two first.
Old W. You know too much Curiosity lost Paradise.
Gay. Why, there’s it now.
Old W. Fortune and Love invite you, if you dare follow me. ”

“ What Charms it has! makes the Waiters fly, Boys, and the Master with Cap in Hand—excuse what’s amiss, Gentlemen—Your Worship shall command the best—and the rest—How briskly the Box and Dice dance, and the ready Money submits to the lucky Gamester, and the gay Wench consults with every Beauty to make her self agreeable to the Man with ready Money! In fine, dear Rogues, all things are sacrific’d to its Power; and no Mortal conceives the Joy of Argent Content. ‘Tis this powerful God that makes me submit to the Devil, Matrimony; and then thou art assur’d of me, my stout Lads of brisk Debauch. ”