“ Madam, this is that rascally captain's plot.
Love. Patience, patience! O, for a bite at the slave's heart. Friend, mistake me not, my name is Loveall, a lady: send one along with me, and you shall have your money.
Draw. You must pardon me, madam, I am but a servant: if you be a lady, pray sit in an inner room, and send home your woman for the money: the sum is six pounds, and be pleased to remember the waiters.
Love. Go, Faithful, go fetch the money. O, revenge, revenge! shall I lose my honour, and have no revenge? ”

“ Enter the King, Evadne, and Aurelia.
King. Believe me, tailor, you've outstripp'd the court,
For such perfections live not everywhere;
Nature was vex'd (as she's a very shrew) ,
She made all others in an angry mood;
These only she can boast for masterpieces:
The rest want something or in mind or form,
These are precisely made: a critic jury
Of cavilling arts cannot condemn a scruple.
Aur. But that your entrance in this formal speech
Betray'd you are a courtier, I had been angry
At your rank flattery.
King. Can you say so?
Evad. Sir, she has spoke my meaning. ”

“ Out! 'tis mercenary and base! The generous heart has only the laws of nature and kindness in her view, and when she will oblige, Friend is all the ties that Nature seeks; who can both bear and excuse those kind crimes. And, I believe, one as poor as the despised captain and neglected courtier may make a woman as happy in a friendship as Master Sad, who has as many faults as we have debts: one whose father had no more credit with Nature than ours had with Fortune; whose soul wears rags as well as the captain's body. ”

“ This roguish thing called want—makes wanton thoughts
Look much unlike themselves: 'tis this white metal
Enliveneth spirits, knits our arteries
Firm as Alcides. He that binds himself
Apprentice to his wife merely for love,
May he, pen-feathered widgeon, forfeit's freedom,
With whatsoe'er is dearest to the vogue
Of his affections. She were a rare piece
That could engage me, or oblige me hers
With all those ceremonial rites which Flamens use
To Hymen's honour. Beauty, still say I,
Will breed a surfeit, be it ne'er so choice
Nor eye-attractive. ”

“ Jolly. Prythee, parson, no more of wit and was handsome; but let us keep to this text— [He kisses Wanton] —and with joy think upon thy little Wanton here, that's kind, soft, sweet, and sound: these are epithets for a mistress, nor is there any elegancy in a woman like it. Give me such a naked scene to study night and day: I care not for her tongue, so her face be good. A whore dressed in verse and set speeches tempts me no more to that sweet sin, than the statute of whipping can keep me from it. ”

“ When I have courted rugged danger with
Hotter desires than handsome faces,
And thought no woman half so beautiful
As bloody gaping wounds:
But, sir,
To go and cast away myself now would not
Be gallant, nor an action worth my envy:
'Tis weakness to make those that seek my ruin
Laugh at my folly,
With jaws stretch'd wider than the gulf that swallows us.
I know when honour calls me, and when treason counterfeits
Her voice.
Plan. Well, stay at home and freeze,
And lose all sense of glory in
A mistress' arms. Go, perish tamely, drunk
With sin and peace ”

“ Love. O Faithful, Faithful! I am most miserably abused, and can find no way to my revenge.
Faith. Madam, I'll give them ratsbane, and speedily too, ere they can tell; for that rascal [470] the captain has a tongue else will proclaim you, and undo your fame for ever.
Love. Ay, ay, my fame, my fame, Faithful: and if it were not for mine honour, which I have kept unstained to this minute, I would not care.
Faith. This it is: you will set your affection upon every young thing: I could but tell you on't. ”

“ Set my Hortenzo free,
And I'll like anything.
Ele. A fool, a fool.
Hortenzo free! why, look you, he free! no;
Then must he marry you; you must be queen,
He in a manner king; these dignities,
Like poison, make men swell; this ratsbane honour,
O, 'tis so sweet! they'll lick it, till all burst:
He will be proud; and pride, you know, must fall.
Come, come, he shall not; no, no, 'tis more meet
To keep him down safe standing on his feet.
Isa. Eleazar!
Ele. Mark, the imperial chair of Spain
Is now as empty as a miser's alms:
Be wise, I yet dare sit in't ”

“ Jolly. Why, if thou repent, there's no harm done: fight rather than pay it.
Sad. Why, do you think I dare not fight?
Jolly. Yes, but I think thou hast more wit than to fight with me; for if I kill thee, 'tis a fortune to me, and others will sign in fear: and if thou shouldst kill me, anybody that knows us would swear 'twere very strange, and cry, There's God's just judgment now upon that lewd youth, and thou procur'st his hangman's place at the rate of thy estate. ”

“ Shall I never live to see wit and love dwell together?
Capt. I am but a poor soldier, and yet never reached to the honour of being a lover; yet from my own observations, Master Sad, take a truth: 'tis a folly to believe any woman loves a man for being constant to another; they dissemble their hearts only, and hate a man in love worse than a wencher.
Jolly. And they have reason; for if they have the grace to be kind, he that loves the sex may be theirs. ”

“ Why, you're a fool, aunt: a widow, and dislike a longing bridegroom! I thought you had known better. Do you love a spurred horse rather than a ducker, that neighs and scrapes? I would not say this, but that I know him. Let him not go out of your sight, for he's now in season—a ripe, mature husband. No delays: if you let him hang longer upon hope, his fruit will fall alone.
Wid. You are merry, sir; but if I had known this humour——
Wild. You'd ha' kissed him first; but, being ignorant, let me make you blush. Come, a kiss, and all's friends. [She kisses Careless, and he kisses her twice.] ”

“ And faith, be free—how do you like my girl? Rid thee of her! What does she want now, pray, but a jointure, to satisfy any honest man? Speak your conscience, ladies: don't you think a little repentance hereafter will serve for all the small sins that good-nature can act with such a sinner?
Par. Pray, sir, remember she's my wife, and be so civil to us both, as to forget these things.
Jolly. For that, Jack, we'll understand hereafter. 'Tis but a trick of youth, man, and her jest will make us both merry, I warrant thee. ”

“ Thanks to you all: 'tis not the Spanish crown
That Eleazar strives for, but Spain's peace.
Amongst you I'll divide her empery:
Christofero shall wear Granada's crown;
To Roderigo I'll give Arragon;
Naples, Navarre, and fair Jerusalem
I'll give to other three; and then our viceroys
Shall shine about our bright Castilian crown,
As stars about the sun. Cry all, arm, arm;
Prince Philip and the cardinal do ride
Like Jove in thunder; in a storm we'll meet them.
Go, levy powers; if any man must fall,
My death shall first begin the funeral. ”

“ Enter Nurse and Giovanno with a gown.
Gio. Yonder she is, and walks, yet in sense strong enough to maintain argument; she's under my cloak; for the best part of a lady, as this age goes, is her clothes; in what reckoning ought we tailors to be esteemed then, that are the master-workmen to correct nature! You shall have a lady, in a dialogue with some gallant touching his suit, the better part of man, so suck the breath that names the skilful tailor, as if it nourished her. Another Donna fly from the close embracements of her lord, to be all-over-measured by her tailor. ”

“ To be a whore is more unknown to her,
Than what is done in the Antipodes;
She is so pure she cannot think a sin,
Nor ever heard the name to understand it.
King. No doubt, these private meetings were to read
Her moral lectures, and teach her chastity!
Plan. Nay, give me leave, sir. I do not say
My addresses have been all so virtuous;
For whatsoever base desires a flaming
Beauty could kindle in a heart, were all alive
In me, and prompted me to seek some ease
By quenching burnings hotter than Ætna. ”

“ You have, Andromana: what say you to the prince?
And. I say he is the prince, and great Ephorbas' son;
He's Plangus: and if you think there yet remains
A title that can be either better or greater,
I think him worthy of it.
King. But dost [thou] think him worthy Andromana?
And. O heavens! Is Jove worth heav'n,
Or doth the sun deserve to be a light
To all the world? Can virtue deserve honour,
Or labour riches? Can gods merit altars?
It might have been a puzzling question
To them whose ears have not been bless'd
With Plangus' worth. But this is so below him——
King. ”

“ This tongue hath murder'd me. Cry murder, boys.
[The Queen shouts.]
Two Boys. Murder! the queen's murder'd!
Ele. Love, slaves, peace!
Two Boys. Murder! the queen's murder'd!
Ele. Stop your throats!
Hark! hush, you squaller. Dear love, look up:
Our chamber-window stares into the court,
And every wide-mouth'd ear, hearing this news,
Will give alarum to the cuckold king:
I did dissemble when I chid my love,
And that dissembling was to try my love. ”

“ Jolly. No; what's this? [Jolly hugs Wanton.] Show me a fairer in all your streams. Nor is this my single joy, who am pleased to find you may be cosened; rejoice to see you may be brought to lie with a man for a jest. Let me alone to fit you with a trick too.
Care. Faith, it must be some new trick; for thou art so beaten at the old one, 'twill neither please thee nor her; besides, I mean to teach her that myself.
Plea. I shall never be perfectly quiet in my mind till I see somebody as angry as myself: yet I have some consolation, when I think on the wise plot that killed the coachman. ”

“ The world, I must confess, is a ball racketed above the line and below into every hazard: but whimseys and careers challenge such influence over the judgment of our gallant refined wits; as their fancies must be humoured, and their humours tickled, or they leave our rooms discontented. So as the comedian's garden must find lettuce for all lips, or the disrelished poet must be untrussed, and paid home with a swingeing censure. This must be my fate; for I can expect no less from these satirical madams, whose ticklish resentment of their injured honour will make them kick before they be galled. ”

“ Her beginning was simple and below stairs, till her lady finding her to be a likely promising bawd, secret as the key at her girdle, obedient as her thoughts, those virtues raised her from the flat petticoat and kercher to the gorget and bumroll. And I remember 'twas good sport at first to see the wench perplexed with her metamorphosis. She since has been in love with all the family, and now sighs after the Levite; and if he forsake her too, I prophesy a waiting-woman's curse will fall upon her: to die old, despised, poor, and out of fashion.
Enter Captain. ”

“ You have been marked for an indifferent sinner that way, captain.
Capt. Who, I? no, faith, I was a fool; but, and I were to begin again, I would not do as I have done. I kept one, but if ever I keep another, hang me; nor would I advise any friend of mine to do it.
Jolly. Why, I am sure 'tis a provident and safe way: a man may always be provided and sound.
Plea. Fie upon this discourse!
Capt. Those considerations betrayed me: a pox! it is a dull sin to travel, like a carrier's horse, always one road.
Wid. Fie, captain! repent for shame, and marry. ”

“ How mean you, sir?
Gio. Faith, madam, your crooked movables in artificial bodies, that rectify the deformity of nature's overplus, as bunching backs: or scarcity, as scanty shoulders—are the proudest creatures; you shall have them jet it with an undaunted boldness; for the truth is, what they want in substance they have in air: they will scold the tailor out of his art, and impute the defect of nature to his want of skill, though his labour make her appearance pride-worthy. ”

“ Remember the base language you gave me—son of a thousand fathers; captain of a tame band; and one that got my living by the longstaff-speeches—for which and thy former treacheries I'll ruin thee, slave. I'll have no more mercy on thee than old women on blind puppies. I'll bring you to your commendations in Latin epistles again, nor leave thee anything to live on—no, not bread—but what thou earn'st by raking gentlewomen's names in anagrams. [263] And, master justice, if ever you'll oblige me, stand to me now, that I may procure the whipping of him from the reverend bench. ”

“ Crop. 'Tis idolatry! Do, martyr me, I will not kneel, nor join in sin with the wicked.
Jolly. Either kneel, or I'll tear thy cloak which, by the age and looks, may be that which was writ for in the time of the primitive church.
Crop. Pay me, and I'll wear a better. It would be honestlier done, than to abuse this, and profane the text; a text that shows your bishops in those days wore no lawn-sleeves. And you may be ashamed to protect one that will not pay his debts: the cries of the widow will come against you for it. ”

“ Stood a fool'd gallant, chain'd unto a post,
And lash'd by folly for his want of wit.
The reeling drunkard and plump glutton stood
Making of faces, close by Tantalus:
But drank and fed on air. The whoremaster,
Tied to a painted punk, was by a fury,
Termed insatiate lust, whipped with a blade
Of fire. And here——
What's here? 'tis my Evadne's veil; 'tis hers, I know't:
Some slave has ravish'd my Evadne! Well,
[61] There breathes not such an impious slave in hell.
Nay, it is hers, I know it too-too plain.
Your breath is lost: 'tis hers: you speak in vain. ”

“ Ay, ay, and they were happy days, wench, when the captain was a lean poor humble thing, and the soldier tame, and durst not come within the city for fear of a constable and a whipping-post. They know the penal statutes give no quarter. Then Buff was out of countenance, and skulked from alehouse to alehouse, and the city had no militia but the sheriff's men. In those merry days, a bailiff trod the streets with terror, when all the chains in the city were rusty but Master Sheriff's; when the people knew no evil but the constable and his watch. ”

“ SCENE III. To her enter Queen-Mother suddenly, with Alvero and Roderigo with rapiers.
Queen-M. Lay hold upon the strumpet! where's the king?
Fernando! son! Ah me! your king is dead!
Lay hands upon the murd'ress.
Maria. Imperious queen,
I am as free from murder as thyself;
Which I will prove, if you will hear me speak.
The king is living.
Rod. If he liv'd, his breath would beat within his breast.
Queen-M. The life he leads, Maria, thou shalt soon participate.
Maria. O father, save me! ”