C. M. Westmacott

“ For myself, I have always endeavoured to read "men more than books," and have ever found an endless diversity of character, a never-failing source of study and amusement in a trip to a watering-place: perched on the top in summer, or pinched inside in winter of a stage-coach, here, at leisure and unknown, I can watch the varied groups of all nations as they roam about for profit or for pleasure, and note their varieties as they pass away like the retiring landscape, never perhaps to meet the eye again. ”

“ It is in a college wine-party that the true character of your early associates are easily discoverable: out of the excesses of the table very often spring the truest impressions, the first, but indelible affection which links kindred spirits together in after-time, and cements with increasing years into the most inviolable friendship. Here the sallies of youth, unchecked by care, or fettered by restraint, give loose to mirth and revelry; and the brilliancy of genius and the warm-hearted gaiety of pure delight are found in the highest perfection. ”

“ Place the goddess of Love on the pedestal of Chastity, in the sacred recesses of the grove of Health, veiled by virgin Innocence, and robed in celestial Purity, and who among the cameleon race of fashionable roués would incur the charge of Vandalism, or turn aside to pay devotion at her shrine? but let the salacious deity of Impurity mount the car of Profligacy, and drive forth in all the glare of crimson and gold, and a thousand devotees are ready to sacrifice their honour upon her profligate altars, or chain themselves to her chariot wheels as willing slaves to worship and adore. ”

“ A wayward being from my infancy, not the least mark of my eccentricity is the peculiar humour in which I find myself when I have sacrificed too freely to the jolly god: unlike the major part of mankind, my temperament, instead of being invigorated and enlivened by the sparkling juice of the grape, loses its wonted nerve and elasticity; a sombre gloominess pervades the system, the pulse becomes nervous and languid, the spirits flagging and depressed, and the mind full of chimerical apprehensions and ennui. ”

“ All ruined by the peace; and all that glorious collection of the kings and queens of England, and her admirals and heroes, which used to swing to and fro in the wind, when every house upon the beach was a grog-shop, are past, vanished, or hanging like pirates in tatters; the sound of a fiddle never reaches their ears; and the parlour-floors, where we used to dance and sing till all was blue, are now as smooth and as clean as the decks of Lord Nelson's flag ship, the Victory, which lies moored in our harbour, like a Greenwich pensioner, anchored in quiet, to drop to pieces with old age. ”

“ Where inns invite ye, and where lodgings smile A ready welcome to some Grecian pile; Where chairmen wait ye, ready to attend And box ye up upon your latter end; Where summer breezes on Hygeia wait, And cards and fashion hold their courts of state. Hither we're come to Bath, to spy and tell What reigning follies mark the beau and belle; What stars eccentric move within thy sphere, Or who's the greatest lion of the year. "Have at ye all," we satirists give no quarter; Yet shall our mirth prove grateful as Bath water. ”

“ Gadzooks, 'tis time when comes the foe To strip and sport a word and blow, My dear pugnacious wight! 'Tis very wise, T own, to pull Fast by the horns some butting bull, When 'gainst yourself he flies; But to attack that sturdy beast, When he's no thoughts on you to feast, Is very otherwise. But we'll forgive your paper balls, Which on our jackets hurtless falls, Like hail upon a tower: Pray put wet blankets on your ire; Really, good sir, we've no desire To blight so smart a flower. Well, then, I see no reason why There should be war, good Mister Spy So, faith! we'll be allies ”

“ If ever there was a fellow formed by nature to captivate and conquer the heart of lovely woman, it is that arch-looking, light-hearted Apollo, Horace Eglantine, with his soul-enlivening conversational talents, his scraps of poetry, and puns, and fashionable anecdote; his chivalrous form and noble carriage, joined to a mirth-inspiring countenance and soft languishing blue eye, which sets half the delicate bosoms that surround him palpitating between hope and fear ”

“ Three tedious years in Oxford spent, In midnight brawl and merriment, Tom bid adieu to college, To cassock-robe of orthodox, To construe and decline—the box, Supreme in stable knowledge; To dash on all within the ring, Bet high, play deep, or rioting, At Long's to sport his figure In honour's cause, some small affair Give modern bucks a finish'd air, Tom pull'd the fatal trigger. ”

“ Then young hearts wake to life and love. When still and slow the murmuring swell Of ocean, rising from his throne, O'erleaps the beach, and matin's bell To prayer invites the college drone; Then, when the pennant floats on high, And anchor's weigh'd again to rove, And tuneful larks ascend the sky, Then young hearts wake to life and love. When, by unerring nature's power, Creation breaks the spell of night, And plants their leaves expand and flow'r, And all around breathes gay delight ”

“ Horatio is not exactly a genius: there is nothing of that wild eccentricity of thought and action which betokens the vivid flights of imagination, or the meteoric brightness of inspiration; his actions are distinguished by coolness, intrepidity, and good sense. He does not pretend to second sight, or a knowledge of futurity; but on the present and the past there are few who can reason with more cogency of remark, or with more classic elegance of diction: with such a concentration of qualities, it is not wonderful that his influence extends through every gradation of the juvenile band. ”

“ And who, sir, dares to doubt our joint authority? are we not the very spies o' the age?
'Joint monarchs of all we survey; Our right there is none to dispute.'
From the throne to, the thatched cottage, wherever there is character, 'there fly we,' and, on the wings of merry humour, draw with pen and pencil a faithful portraiture of things as they are; not tearing aside the hallowed veil of private life, but seizing as of public right on public character, and with a playful vein of satire proving that we are of the poet's school ”

“ MY VALE. In infancy oft' by observance we trace What life's future page may unfold; Who the senate, the bar, or the pulpit may grace, Who'll obtain wreathe of fame or of gold. My Vale, should my muse prove but willing and free, Parting sorrows to chase from my brain, Shall in metre prophetic, on some two or three, Indulge in her whimsical vein. First Keate let me give to thy talents and worth, A tribute that all will approve; When Atropos shall sever thy life's thread on earth Thou shalt fall rich in honor and love. ”

“ Optimus. Spirit of a fiddle-stick! Nonsense, man; that card will win no trick now. You, like others might have thought so once; but you have seen enough by this time to know that the system is on altogether a different tack; that its stanchest upholders and admirers are bullies, sharpers, pickpockets, pothouse keepers, coachmen, fradulent bankrupts, the Jon Bee's and big B's, and all the lowest B's of society in station and character, whose only merit, if such it can be called, is the open disclaiming of any thing like honour or principle. ”

“ Have you not dissipated a splendid patrimony in a series of the most liberal entertainments? Has not your generous board been graced with the presence of royalty? and the banquet enriched by the attendant stars of nobility, from the duke to the right honorable knight commander. And have you not since felt the most cruel neglect from these your early associates, and much obliged friends, with no crime but poverty, with no reproach but the want of prudence? Have you not experienced ingratitude and persecution in every shape that human baseness could find ingenuity to inflict? ”

“ Youth is the period of frankness and of zeal, when the young heart, buoyant with hope and cheering prospects, fills with joy, and expands in all the brightness of fancy's variety. The ambition, lures, and conflicting interests of the world, have as yet made no inroad upon the mind; the bosom is a stranger to misery, the tongue to deceit, the eye glows with all the luxuriance of pleasure, and the whole countenance presents an animated picture of health and intelligence illumined with delight. ”

“ Of princes, peers, their equipage, The splendour of the present age; Of west-end fops, and crusty cits, Who drive their gigs, or sport their tits; With all the groups we mean to dash on Who form the busy world of fashion: Proceeding onwards to the city, With sketches, humorous and witty. The man of business, and the Change, Will come within our satire's range: Nor rank, nor order, nor condition, Imperial, lowly, or patrician, Shall, when they see this volume, cry— "The satirist has pass'd us by," But with good humour view our page Depict the manners of the age. ”

“ Of all the characters in the busy scene of life which can excite a pleasurable sensation in the close observer of men and manners, is your gay ancient, whether male or female; the sprightly Evergreens of society, whose buoyant spirits outlive the fiery course of youth, while their playful leafage buds forth in advanced life with all the freshness, fragrance, and vigour of the more youthful plants. Such," said Eglantine, "is the old beau yonder, my friend Curtis, who is here quaintly denominated the Everlasting. ”

“ Many a juvenile frolic have I been engaged in beneath the shadowy willows that then o'ercanopied the margin of old father Thames; but they are almost all destroyed, and with them disappears the fondest recollections of my youth. Upwards, near yonder frail tenement which is now fast mouldering into decay, lived the beautiful gardener's daughter, the flower of Millbank, whose charms for a long time excited the admiration of many a noble name, ay, and inspired many a noble strain too, and produced a chivalrous rivalry among the young and generous hearts who were then of Westminster. ”

“ Sage Domine all,—all deserving my vote, Who the tutor combine with the friend. But a truce with these ancients, the young I must seek, The juvenile friends of my heart, Of secrets hid in futurity speak, And tell how they'll each play their part. First Heartly, the warmth of thy generous heart Shall expand with maturity's years; New joys to the ag'd and the poor thou'lt impart, And dry up pale Misery's tears. Next honest Tom Echo, the giddy and gay, In sports shall all others excel ”

“ In retracing the brighter moments of life, the festive scenes of past times, the never to be forgotten pleasures of his halcyon days, when youth, and health, and fortune, blest his lot, he has no tongue for scandal—no pen for malice—no revenge to gratify, but is only desirous of attempting a true portraiture of men and manners, in the higher and more polished scenes of life. If, in the journey through these hitherto unexplored regions of fancy, ought should cross his path that might give pain to worthy bosoms, he would sooner turn aside than be compelled to embody the uncandid thought. ”

“ If die he must, die game. Some few months o'er, again he strays 'Midst scenes of former halcyon days, On other projects bent; No more ambitious of a name, Or mere unprofitable fame, On gain he's now intent, To deal a flush, or cog a die, Or plan a deep confed'racy To pluck a pigeon bare. Elected by the Legs a brother, His plan is to entrap some other In Greeting's fatal snare. Here for a time his arts succeed, But vice like his, it is decreed, Can never triumph long: A noble, who had been his prey, Convey'd the well cogg'd bones away, Exposed them to the throng. ”

“ The very name of our old friend Punch inspires us in our social moments. What other actor has been commemorated by the potential cup? is not the sacred bowl of friendship dedicated to the wooden hero? would you forget the world, its cares, vexations, and anxieties, sip of the mantling, mirth-inspiring cordial, and all within is jollity and gay delight.
"For Punch cures the gout, the cholic, and the phthisic, And it is to every man the very best of physic." ”

“ Black mantle, half a century ago, was I, a light-hearted child of whim, as you are now, associated with some of the greatest names that have since figured in the history of our times, many of whom are now sleeping in their tombs beneath a weight of worldly honours, while some few have left a nobler and a surer monument to exalt them with posterity, the well-earned tribute of a nation's gratitude, the never-fading fame which attaches itself to good works and great actions. ”

“ How many representatives of noble houses, and splendid patrimonies, handed down with increasing care from generation, to generation, have been ruined and dissipated by this pernicious vice! —the gay and inexperienced nipped in the very bud of life, and plunged into irretrievable misery—while the high-spirited and the noble-minded victims to false honour, too often seek a refuge from despair in the grave of the suicide! ”