Chris Dulabone

“ The Land of Oz is not only beautiful with the glittering gemstones that are found commonplace in this remarkable fairyland, but its enchantment goes ever farther. In all the territory of Oz, there is clean, fresh air and gorgeous trees and scenery. There is peace and quiet when such is desired, and there is high adventure and excitement at other times. In Oz, no one ever grows older than he chooses, and death is practically unheard of. The country is situated in the center of a vast continent, and is surrounded by an impassable Deadly Desert. ”

“ He had a nose like a garden hose, but my little bug has unwittingly told me that he is the one to whom the forest beasts turn when they have problems. He likes to solve problems, and has a phenomenal knack for it. He is wise beyond his years, and his emotions encompass all the land! He is also one of the strongest and most bold beasts in all the Lunechien territory—even putting the tigers like you to shame! When I can capture this Elephant, I will be all-powerful! I will be almighty! I will be superhuman! Then, I shall be able to take on the beast who has come to be known as the Cowardly Lion. ”

“ Lisa was not entirely sure the Forest Monster had any bones, as she suspected that spiders had exoskeletons instead, but she saw no reason to bring this up at the moment. "Then you really don't need us. It is against the laws of the jungle to kill more than you can eat, and the Forest Monster will easily tide you over for a good long time."
Ozma was not quite happy with the way things were turning out. She was not an advocate of killing at all. The thought of her willingly placing one of her subjects—even one so wicked as the Forest Monster—in mortal danger was a hard pill for her to swallow. ”

“ How yucky can you get? You must save that poor little bug. She is a good bug. Love is always good! Please help her. Please. I can't bear to think of her in that predicament!"
"It's a stupid bug, for crying out loud!" said Tweaty. "Don't you think that we have more important things to do than to go and save a stupid bug?"
"But this is Oz, where everyone is equal," Nibbles pointed out. "Even a cat like Fisher is our friend. In this fantastic country, I'd think that even a tiny insect is not beneath our concern. I think we should save her." ”

“ However, she knew he had to absorb Tiger's power and courage first before he would dream of attacking Elephant. It was quite obvious he was going to have to think fast before Tiger became a mere shell of his old self.
Hootsey and Lisa were naturally quite concerned for their own welfare. They did not want their wisdom sucked out of them by a giant spider with vampire-like tendencies. One has to live a long time and learn by trial and error before one can truly be considered wise. Of course, some people never learn. They make the same mistakes over and over. ”

“ Now that the Stinkfoots are infringing on our territory, we are forced to take action against them despite our former friendship. But there simply is no alternative. They are taking away our homeland, and pushing us away. There is no other option but to push them back."
"It is a real problem when one specie overcrowds its territory," added Hootsey. "It must pave away all other life forms to further supply its own needs."
"But no one has the right to crowd out what Nature has already established," said Elephant. ”

“ I know that you are also a Queen and that you are one of Ozma's closest advisors. If you wish me banished from all Oz once you have restored all of my poor victims, I will accept the punishment without a murmur."
The shadow of Rube Marquard stood still and listened with a puzzled expression on his face.
Ozma looked at Glinda. "The Forest Monster really has repented," she said. "I saw the change with my own two eyes. He is willing to be restored to the size of a natural spider so that all the others can have what he took from them." ”

“ You wanted to be an engineer. So you became an engineer. And a darned good one, too. Had I forced you into masonry, you would never have excelled in the craft for which you had no love. And you would have been very unhappy. Now Richard wants to be a baseball player. He's so determined that nothing is going to stop him. Let's give him a chance and see what he can do. Don't force the boy to give up on his dreams.'"
"Your grandfather sounds like a wise man to me," said Ozma.
"He was," said the shadow. "But Dad would never listen. 'Ballplayers are no good,' he'd insist. ”

“ If you are here to make fun of her age, you are welcome to go away. Queen Ozma was sent to us by the Fairy Queen Lurliné herself, and she has our respect. Even though she is a tiny child, she is not to be made sport of."
"No one is making sport of anyone," said Elephant gruffly. "Though if you don't get out of my way I may decide to use you for a football."
"That will not be necessary," said the guard. "But you will need to wear green glasses. It is a rule that was set up by the Wonderful Wizard of Oz himself. It is because of the gleaming magnitude of all the big gemstones everywhere. ”

“ We can't let him get to Dorothy, you know. Nor the Scarecrow or the Tin Woodman or the Woggle-Bug. No one is safe as long as the Forest Monster is at large."
"You're right!" said the Cowardly Lion dutifully. "We are the only ones who can stop him. Where is this overgrown daddy long legs?"
Cubby led the huge animal through the forest to the lair of the gigantic spider. When they got there, they were met with a most unexpected sight. There was a pack of Land Sharks. They looked frightful and hungry, and they surrounded Ozma, Tweaty, Nibbles, Lisa, Hootsey and Elephant. ”

“ Somehow, in all of the hubbub, Tweaty was overlooked. He did not consider it politic to interrupt the proceedings. After all, his fellow beasts had had a far worse enchantment than he had. Of course it was uncomfortable to be a tiny orange elephant. But how much worse to be completely without oneself. He decided to wait until another time to ask to be restored. He felt that it would be too much of a selfish act to ask Ozma or Glinda to take time away from those who truly needed their help when he knew that he could stand to be a small orange elephant for a little while longer. ”

“ Stuff."
"What slobs!" said Lisa with distaste. "And that princess had the nerve to say that Droffs were messy!"
"But it explains why the Droffs have such low-quality land," sighed
Ozma. "It isn't that the Droffs are unsanitary. The very reason the
Gilligoggs look down on the Droffs is caused by the Gilligoggs
themselves!"
"They are high and sophisticated, I guess," added Hootsey. "But their refusal to see what they are doing to the world around them has made them into a life form that is most undesirable. They have made themselves become exactly what they dislike in others." ”

“ Elephant and Nibbles and Tweaty and Hootsey and Ozma and Lisa all looked at each other with despair and foreboding.
"Look," said Elephant to the leader of the marshmallow people. "I am a huge animal. My body will keep those crocodiles fed for weeks. While Tweaty here, and Hootsey and Lisa, are tiny creatures. The crocodiles would not even taste them. Why don't you let them go?" ”

“ You are always attached at some place. As the shadow of Rube Marquard, I touch him always, even while he is far away in repose. I can be his past, his future, or his mirror image. That is why I can remember experiences he hasn't even had yet. Sometimes we shadows accidentally create a feeling of deja vu in our live counterparts, which can lead to a false sense of psychic ability."
"I don't know much about American sports figures," said Elephant. "But it sounds like you are someone who is or will be important to Baseball. But how did you convince your dad to let you play?" ”

“ Already he is too strong to be reckoned with. I have been a queen for only a short time. I do have fairy powers, but am not anxious to face the Forest Monster myself. If you could at least back me up while I try to reason with him..."
"Don't waste your time," said Tweaty. "You can't reason with that thing.
It will bite you in half before you get past the greeting."
"Say," interjected Hootsey. "Maybe that isn't so. We have already seen Ozma do some amazing things. She can change the color of her hair, for example. Maybe she could use some of her fairy magic to scare away the spider! ”

“ Even a regular mortal child?"
"You are a wild animal," spoke the marshmallow man. "You should know better than anyone that such is the way of survival. We do not want the crocodiles to eat us, but we know that they must eat. I doubt that they would be satisfied with tofu or falafel burgers, either. These crocodiles are carnivorous, and they require fresh meat in order to survive. Would you have them become extinct?"
"He has a point," said Hootsey. "We really can't blame the crocodiles for their metabolisms. But we can't allow them to eat our Queen, either!" ”

“ I will not allow any of my subjects to be threatened by any carnivorous crocodiles."
"Then the crocodiles will not be able to survive," said Lisa sadly.
"But nothing can actually die anywhere in Oz," said Nibbles.
"Then they will grow horribly uncomfortable if they can't eat what Nature dictates they should," said Lisa. "I, for one, would rather die than have a constant emptiness in my tummy or lack of energy due to malnutrition."
"Indeed," agreed Elephant. "To go hungry is a terrible fate. Isn't there some alternative?" ”

“ Basically, you'll be condemning an entire race to extinction—just like the dodo bird or the winkledejimpker!"
"Couldn't we use criminals and thieves to feed to the crocodiles?" suggested Nibbles.
"I will not allow even them to be tortured this way," said Ozma. "Even a thief deserves a chance to make up for his past misbehaving."
"Then what can we do?" asked the marshmallow man.
"Hey!" said Elephant, suddenly having an idea. "There is a grove of trees that grows near the Lunechien Forest. Some of the trees have fruits growing on them. ”

“ We are always anxious to help good folks like yourselves. And even though it isn't something I'm terribly proud of, I can be very ferocious when I have a mind to be." As if to prove his statement, Watts opened his mouth as wide as he could, revealing the sharpest-looking teeth Ozma had ever seen. Indeed, his teeth resembled sabres, which may have been the reason for their title.
Elephant shuddered in his skin. "I'm sure that a few of you would aptly frighten the Forest Monster out of our forest," he said tremblingly. ”

“ If you hate something so bad that you try to be away from it a lot, you start to be turning into it you self. Me not like hate. Me hate hate most hatefulishly."
"Yes," agreed Lisa. "When knowledge is used for cruel purposes, there is no knowledge any more. Both sides end up losers. I think the Gilligoggs could learn a lot from the Droffs." ”

“ CHAPTER 8 THE JOURNEY TOWARD THE SNIFFER NATION "As I see it," said Lisa as they traveled along, "there is at least one major difference between the problems in the Sniffer Nation and the problems of Chilepepperland. The Chilepeppers, so far as I can determine, are different from one another only in their viewpoints. Some may have had a better education than others, but all were born essentially equal. On the other hand, even if they were born equal, the Sniffer citizens have a real physical reason for their disagreement with the Stinkfoots. ”

“ This child is simply a tender and mouthwatering human delicacy for the crocodiles to eat! That is all!" He looked at Ozma and laughed. "Fairy descent? This is not a Fairy! I know about these things! Fairies are tiny little critters with wings like those on one of our dragonflies. This is just a human child. A perfectly ordinary human child!" ”

“ We have need of something that these Sniffers are not allowing us to have. Our survival depends on their annihilation."
"No," spoke Ozma. "It does not. My dear friends from the Lunechien Forest have determined the problems with your crops, and we have come to a solution." She quickly outlined the plan to rotate crops and territory.
"But the silly Sniff-heads have such a modest capitol building," sniffed President McFoot. "I would not want to live in that little old shack, not even for a day!"
"In case you've forgotten," said Elephant, "your troops have just burned up that little shack. ”

“ I told her I could give her everything she wanted.
"'No,' she told me. 'Show business is show business.'
"'Well,' I said, 'baseball is mine.' So we parted."
"You mentioned that you were with the Giants for seven years, and then the Dodgers for five, did you not? How did it feel when you were traded from the Giants to the Dodgers?" asked Elephant.
"Well," said the shadow, "not too bad. See, I traded myself. I didn't seem to be able to get going in 1915 after I pitched that no-hitter early in April, and late in the season McGraw started riding me. ”