Clarence Budington Kelland

“ Catty curled up in the corner, and that was the end of him.
I never thought two hours could be so long, but they can. Just sit in the dark, all alone, scairt half stiff the way I was—do it for five minutes and see. Why, five minutes is a week long, and two hours is the best part of a year. I don’t see why it takes men a couple of months to build a house. ”

“ Dunn in a sad kind of voice.
“Huh,” says Catty, “the worst that can happen will be to tear your pants. Let’s move.”
“They’re still digging—by lantern light,” says Mr. House.
“They’ve got no time to lose,” says Catty. “They’ve got to find that treasure and get away before people begin to ask questions. You can bet they won’t waste a minute.”
“They’ll waste a lot more than that before I’m through with them,” says Mr. Dunn.
“You keep your mind on escaping,” says Catty. “That’s our business now. If those men catch us it won’t be they who lose time. ”

“ I says, “what with mutiny and all that’s going on.”
“They won’t mutiny,” says he, “until the treasure’s found. It would be foolish. But the minute anybody digs up any gold, why, off she pops.”
“It doesn’t seem right to stay here, knowing there’s going to be a mutiny, and not give this Jonas P. Dunn warning of it. I never heard of any heroes that stay around and allowed mutineers to do what they wanted. Heroes always do something smart and wonderful, and rescue all the good folks.” ”

“ But then a man busted open the case with his pick, and it wasn’t anything but sardines. We were peeking out from under the tarpaulin, and you never saw anything sag like that gang of men did. The mutiny was ripe to pick, I guess, but it just laid down and groaned. You never saw any crowd so disgusted in your life. Even Mr. Dunn came running over, but when he saw what had been dug up he was the maddest man in the country, and he acted it.
“If I find out the joker who buried that thing,” he says, as vicious as a yellow dog, “I’ll fix him so he won’t joke again for a day or two.” ”

“ Everybody was on the lookout for buoys and stakes and bells marked on the chart, but the farther we went the less we saw, and then the engine began to act up and snort and miss, and all at once she laid down and went to sleep. It was a mess. The tide was going out, and it looked to me like we had a fine chance to be swept between Martha’s Vineyard and Nantucket, right out to sea—and the nearest land that was, if I guessed right, was a country by the name of Spain. I didn’t want to go to Spain. ”

“ Catty stood a minute looking at the man, and then he kind of studied the sky and peered at the sand and waggled his head. “Pretty slick,” says he, and his voice was sort of admiring. “This man House isn’t anybody’s fool, is he. I like to see a man with brains, even if he is a pirate. Well, Mr. Guard, we’ll be getting along now, but you can get word to your boss that we’ll be back.” ”

“ I was kind of disappointed at first, because from where we were it looked like a summer colony, with cottages all along the shore, but when we rounded the lighthouse into the harbor and could see the rows of old wharves, and the fishing boats, and a big Cape Cod cat making out with a bunch of fishermen aboard, I felt better. ”

“ There is a big club there where folks from Boston come to fish, and a few houses and a lighthouse, and that’s about all. It must be an awful place to live in winter, sort of shut off from all the world, with winds thrashing at you from the ocean all the time, and great waves thundering day and night. I’ll bet it’s about as lonesome a place as there is anywheres.
We didn’t stay there very long, but went back to the Albatross and Rameses III had lunch ready. He served it in spells between arguments with Naboth about whether lobsters were fish or animals, so the meal went kind of slow. ”

“ Dunn kind of sarcastic.
“You.... No siree. That treasure belongs to the party on the Albatross—and we’re going to have it. All you get is to escape with your life. The minute we escape, you and I are enemies like we were before.”
“Did Mr. Topper describe this treasure to you?” says Mr. Dunn.
“No, but all buried pirate treasure is alike. Pieces-of-eight and jewels and Spanish things. The mutineers say there’s a million dollars worth of it. They’re going to take fifty thousand each and live happy forever after.” ”

“ These swordfish are great big fellows, you know; weigh a lot. As soon as the harpoon nicks them, they’re off like regular submarine boats, and the fishermen throw the keg overboard and let the fish pull it around. Then they follow till the fish tires itself out—and shoot it.”
“Must be a circus,” says Catty.
Catty and I were pretty tickled with ourselves for sending the Porpoise off on a wild-goose chase, but we didn’t say a word, because we weren’t supposed to know anything about it. But Mr. Browning and Mr. Topper looked a heap relieved, and surprised, too. ”

“ How about finding out one of them wasn’t sure Topper was aboard? How about making certain they really are some kind of pirates, and don’t mean us any good? Pretty fair night’s work, seems to me.”
“Guess that’s right,” says I, “but now we know it, what do we do?”
“I was wondering,” says he.
“Better tell Mr. Browning,” says I.
“Maybe he won’t like our butting in. He didn’t tell us anything, and it looked like he was trying to keep Mr. Topper quiet so we wouldn’t hear how worried he was. Nobody ever loses any money by keeping his mouth shut.” ”

“ We can’t help it. No heroes in stories start out to be heroes. Things just happen, and they have to be whether they want to or not. That’s how this is.”
“All right,” says Mr. Dunn, “go ahead and be a hero. I’m willing. Only be quick about it. I’m thirsty and this confounded tent pole is jamming a hole in my backbone. I’m all ready to be rescued now. Get busy and rescue me.”
“We’ve got to think about the treasure, too. It would be fairly easy to escape. But whoever heard of the good people escaping and leaving the treasure to the mutineers. ”

“ Whale’s mouth’s more’n ten times as big as your’n?”
“Yes,” says Rameses III, “but I hain’t sure it’s ten times bigger’n your’n.”
“It’s fifty times bigger,” says Naboth.
“Mebby.”
“Why? I ask you why. Tell me that, consarn ye. Tell me why has a whale got a mouth as big as that.”
“To chaw with,” says Rameses III.
“Naw. To fit his stummick. Got to have a big mouth to keep company with his stummick. A feller can stand up and walk around inside a whale’s stummick, can’t he?”
“Hain’t never seen it proved.”
“The size of the mouth proves it. No use havin’ a big mouth ’less you got a big stummick. ”

“ Most likely the mutineers have taken possession of it by now, both the Porpoise and your big yacht.”
“Then,” says Catty, “the Albatross is our only hope.”
“If there is any hope,” says I.
“I’m beginning to get an idea,” says Catty, “but we’ll have to wait for dark.”
“I hope it’s a good one,” says Mr. Dunn.
“It will be,” says Catty, “if it works.”
“Is there any danger in it?” says I.
“Plenty,” says Catty, as satisfied as a cat with a dish of cream.
“Then,” says I, “you can get right to work thinking up another one. What I want is something nice and safe—and comfortable.” ”

“ The wire ought to be right in front of us.”
“And to think,” says Mr. House, “all this has happened because those men got the treasure idea into their heads.”
“And because you got it into your head,” says Catty, “and because we got it into our heads. Everybody goes crazy when you mention treasure. There ought to be a law against hidden treasure.... But then,” says he, “what would folks write books about if there weren’t treasure to dig for.”
“And here’s the wire,” says I, “four strands high, and my pants are caught in it.”
“Can you climb over, or will you crawl under?” says Catty to Mr. Dunn. ”

“ So we went out of the shack and headed for the pirates’ lair, or barbed wire entanglement, or whatever it was Catty had decided it was now. Looked to me like he’s made up his mind to have it be a graveyard.
“Go careful now,” says Catty, “and keep listening. We don’t want to run into a trap.” ”

“ About half an hour later in came the Porpoise and dropped her anchor not far from a whopping big schooner yacht. She sort of settled down with a grunt of satisfaction that she had come up with us again. Well, we hadn’t gained anything.
Catty and I went in for a swim. It was Catty’s idea and it turned out he wanted to go in so we could swim around out of earshot and talk things over.
“The trouble with this crowd,” says he, “is that they don’t plan anything. They just run, and trust to luck to throw the Porpoise off our track. No sense in that. The enemy is planning. ”

“ There is just common, everyday dark, like in a house before you light the lights; there’s the kind of dark there is in a cellar; there’s the spooky kind there is in corners and under beds; and there’s the kind of dark we ran into that night after we left Nantucket town and started for the barbed wire entanglement. ”

“ We studied over the map of the island, and figured out where we would bury treasure if we were pirates. The island is shaped kind of like a long claw. There’s a channel into a harbor right at the town of Nantucket where the old whalers used to sail from, and the harbor looks like it stretched quite a ways back from the town, and almost through to the ocean on the other side.
“I’ll bet there weren’t many people living there when the pirates were doing business,” says Catty. “The pirates would use that harbor, because it’s sheltered, and they could go in and out without being seen. ”

“ Topper grabbed the glasses and stared at the black yacht. “Her name’s Porpoise,” he said.
“See anybody you know?”
Mr. Topper shook his head. “Everybody’s below except a man in dungarees. Part of the crew. Smoke’s coming out of the funnel. Galley stovepipe must come up there. Probably all getting ready for dinner.”
“Then,” said Mr. Browning with a chuckle, “whether they’re friendly or hostile, we won’t have to worry for an hour.” And just then Rameses III poked his head above deck and stood there mumbling. ”

“ All them other critters you mention has transactions to transact on dry land, but not no lobster. He jest tends to his bizness on the floor of the ocean till some feller comes along and hauls him out, protestin’. A critter that’s as fond of water as all that’s a fish whether it’s a fish or not.”
Then Mr. Browning spoke up and says: “What we want is food, and more speed about it, and you men can compromise and call a lobster a bird. It’s as close to being a bird as it is either a fish or an animal.”
“Huh,” says Naboth, “if a lobster hain’t a fish and hain’t an animal, what is it? ”

“ Now what’s to be done?”
“We ought to have all the arms. The owner and the captain and the faithful hands always try to get all the arms and ammunition.”
“That would be a good idea. But we haven’t any arms. Never expected to need a gun. Huh.... Somebody’ll smart for this. I don’t believe they’ve got nerve to go through with it. Why, Nantucket is only a mile or so over there. The island is alive with summer visitors. The bay out there is speckled with boats. Mutiny can’t happen in such a place.”
“You wouldn’t say treasure hunting could go on here, either,” says Catty, “but it is.” ”

“ They must be worth a couple of million dollars. Now’s our chance while those two medicine men are asleep.”
“What medicine men?” says I.
“The two in the shanty there,” says he. “They’ve been trailing us ever since we escaped from the temple, trying to find where we hid the jewels.”
“Catty,” says I, “we better start for town quick, so you can see a doctor. Those men are just Mr. Dunn and Mr. House.”
“Fiddlesticks,” says he, “for the next few minutes, they’re medicine men if I say so. Can’t we have any fun in this world? Have you always got to spoil everything?” ”