George Cruikshank

“ VI.
"EVERY MAN HAS HIS FAULT."
Doctor, thy accents, soft and bland,
Are ever sure to please;
What female bosom can withstand
A Parson on his knees?
"No more will I, with drunken sot,
Carry connubial farce on;
If thou, fond man will share my lot,
And prove an upright Parson.
"With stagg'ring spouse no longer vex'd,
Free from a useless charge,
Henceforward love shall be the text
On which we'll both enlarge."
A parson, naughty people say,
Is but a sinful elf—
Like road-post, pointing out the way
He never takes himself. ”

“ Our love defies the Blacksmith's trade,
And I am yours—AT LENGTH!
Anon, the padlock we'll remove,
From where it lately hung;
And, if a scolding wife you prove,
I'll clap it on your tongue!
[Pg 13]
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES—No. XIII.
OTHELLO.
"OTHELLO'S OCCUPATION'S GONE."
R. Cruikshank.
What, Mungo! laid upon the shelf!
You seem in piteous plight,
Like your own broom you're stumpt yourself—
Poor Massa Lilywhite!
You thrive far better in a shower
Than in the sunny shine—
A plague upon the Comet's power,
That makes the days so fine! ”

“ Old women used to cheer their hearts and found it did agree,
By sometimes taking with a friend a cup too much of tea;
But now they're much more spirited—for tea don't care a pin,
And only use their tea pots for a cup too much of Gin. ”

“ Steam carriages by land are now the order of the day, sir,
But why they haven't started yet, 'tis not for me to say, sir;
Some people hint 'tis uphill work—that loose they find a screw, sir,
Such novelties, as Pat would say, of old they never knew, sir.
Bow, wow, &c.
Now is the time for a sly trip to the Moon, sir,
There's a new Rail Road just made through the Sky,
Or if you prefer it, we have a prime Balloon, sir,
In which you can ascend with me up sky high. ”

“ Or who, the Parson's SPIRIT?
When the bold Tar proceeds to tell
His tale of amorous pain,
'Tis hard that one who pleads so well
Should ever plead in vain.
And when his suppliant rival sighs,
How can I say forbear!
Who can resist his piercing eyes,
Or scorn a Parson's prayer?
Ah! either lover to refuse
My virgin heart is loth;
And where it is so hard to choose,
'Tis well to cut you both!
[Pg 12]
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES—No. XII.
"LOVE LAUGHS AT LOCKSMITHS."
"Hasty marriage seldom proveth well." ”

“ Robert Seymour, a graphic humourist was born in London, about the year 1800. He was apprenticed to Mr. Thomas Vaughan, a pattern-drawer in Spitalfields, and his practice in that department of art appears to have given him the facility and accuracy of pencil for which he was afterwards so distinguished. Within a very short period of fulfilling his term of apprenticeship, he commenced, on his own account, as a painter in oils, and must have been tolerably expert at that early age, as already in the spring of 1822, we find him exhibiting a picture of some pretensions at the Royal Academy. ”

“ LVI.
"BEHIND TIME."
"Procrastination is the Thief of Time."
"Coach, Sir! Lord love your soul, the coach has been gone these three quarters of an hour; it's the most regglarest coach as is, and always starts to a minute!" ”

“ From Charing Cross, which ever way you turn, sir,
If you infringe, your fingers you'll burn, sir.
Oh, dear, oh, dear! they're better off in Greece, sir,
Free from this Metropolitan New Police, sir.
All the people who used to show, sir,
Traps on the pavement, will find it no go, sir,
And now within their shop or dwelling,
Their odd-cum-shorts they must be selling,
If maids after eight their mats should beat, sir,
At the treadmill they'll have a treat,
And, if little boys roll hoops, or fly kites, sir,
They'll be lock'd up seven days and nights, sir. ”

“ THE THREE B.B.B.'s
"I LIKES A DROP OF GOOD BEER."
Come, one and all, both great and small,
With voices loud and clear,
And let us sing, bless Billy our King,
Who 'bated the tax upon beer.
Chorus.—For I likes a drop of good beer, I—do's,
I likes a drop of good beer,
And —— his eyes whoever tries,
To rob a poor man of his beer.
Let minister's shape the duty on Cape,
And cause Port wine to be dear,
So that they keep the bread and meat cheap,
And gives us a drop of good beer.—For I likes, &c. ”

“ Puy a Proom?" Fifty years ago Madame Vestris charmed the town by her singing—
From Teutchland I came with my light wares all laden,
To dear happy England in summer's gay bloom,
Then listen, fair lady, and young pretty maiden,
O buy of the wand'ring Bavarian a broom.
Buy a broom, buy a broom, (Spoken) buy a broom,
O buy of the wand'ring Bavarian a broom.
To brush away insects that sometimes annoy you,
You'll find them quite handy by night or by day,
And what better exercise pray can employ you,
Than to sweep all vexatious intruders away.—Buy a broom, &c. ”

“ George Cruikshank's "Illustrations of Time."
[Pg 65]
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES—No. LXI.
"PUDDING TIME."
"A LITTLE TOO LATE."
"Ha, Snooks, we had given you up altogether!"
"I thought you said four o'clock, my dear fellow?"
"So I did, but it is now five."
"Yes, but four always means five."
"Not with those who tell the truth, and as I am one of that sort, you will know I mean what I say in future; but sit down 'better late than never.'—Mary bring the fragments." ”

“ To go to Truefit's, for it fitted well,
All Truefit's wigs, I'm told, fit true and tight.
Two men were arguing, with wooden legs,
No doubt each thought the other was mistaken;
The cabin boy let fall a plate of eggs
And broke them all, although he saved his bacon.
There were some ladies as it often haps,
Both plebeian and patrician—high and low—
And Andrew thought that many set their caps
At the young men, in hopes to catch a beau. ”

“ What will the satire end in?
The world may learn, with some amaze,
A Sov'reign's ways want mending.
Say, Wellington, can this be you?
His Majesty's adviser!
Who dares so bold a course pursue—
The King's Macadamiser.
To say what next we may expect
Would be as weak as vain;
Straight-forward dealing don't expect
From lads in CROOKED-LANE.
What right have folks to understand
The course that you've chalk'd out? ”

“ T. D. Rice, who had previously appeared at the Surrey Theatre, in "Bone Squash Diablo," made his first appearance at the Adelphi, in a farcical Burletta, called "A Flight to America; or, Twelve Hours in New York". The sketch, written for him by Mr. Leman Rede, introduced Rice as a nigger, Yates as a Frenchman, and Mrs. Stirling as Sally Snow—a coloured belle, Miss Daly, John Reeve, and Buckstone strengthened the cast. "Jump Jim Crow" caught the fancy of the town at once, and the familiar tune was soon to be heard everywhere. ”

“ We learn from this admirable figure by the greatest painter of English life, that the pieman of the last century perambulated the streets in professional costume; and we gather further, from the burly dimensions of his wares that he kept his trade alive by the laudable practice of giving "a good pennyworth for a penny." Justice compels us to observe that his successors of a later generation have not been very conscientious observers of this maxim.
[Pg 99]
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES—No. XCV.
YOUNG LAMBS TO SELL.
Young lambs to sell! ”

“ As a painter of Life and Nature, in all their truth and eccentricity, George Cruikshank may be truly said to stand unrivalled, and to be only equalled, even in former times by the inimitable Hogarth. The present Series has been principally selected from "Cruikshank's Illustrations of Time and Phrenology," and his Illustrations to Mr. Wright's "Mornings at Bow Street" and the sequel entitled "More Mornings at Bow Street"—works which are replete with wit and humour. ”

“ Applies the bottle to his lips,
And sucks the poison in.
Drink deep, thou liquor-loving brat!
Nor spare the cordial drop,
While the old folks enjoy their chat,
And gossip in the shop.
They taught thee first to love the juice,
And prove the maxim true,
That sauce for gander and for goose
Is sauce for gosling too!
[Pg 17]
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES—No. XVI.
STEP THE SECOND.
Robert Seymour. ”

“ With "The Parish Beadle!"
"A dainty life the fairy leads,"
"When stars their watch are keeping;"
"In peace love tunes the shepherd's reed,"
"Dear maid, while thou art sleeping!"
"When night-stars dance their fairy rays,"
And here my batch I cry out,—
"Hark! the lark at Heaven's gate sings,"
"There you go with your eye out!"
[Pg 98]
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES—No. XCIV.
HOGARTH'S PIEMAN.
We frequently meet with the pieman in old prints ”

“ Rice stayed through the whole season, playing an engagement of twenty one weeks, then considered something extraordinary. For a long period he performed at the Adelphi and the Pavilion Theatres the same evening, and it was calculated that in so doing he had travelled considerably more than a thousand miles, while being encored five times at each theatre for 126 nights, it was easy to set down the figure of 1,260 as representing the number of times he had sung "Jim Crow," during that period. ”

“ Although Seymour's hands were full of commissions for drawing on wood, he was always desirous of practice in a more independent department of art, feeling that the engraver, however competent, frequently failed to communicate the full force of his drawing. ”

“ If I like max, am I to blame?
Why daddy did the same before me."
"Lauk, sir, you take me by surprise—
But some men have a way so winning—
You guess my wishes by my eyes—
I'm nearly tir'd of liquor spinning.
"I cannot bear to answer—No;
And as it's cold and sloppy weather,
Do let us have, before you go,
A drop of Cherry-bounce together."
Short be your courtship, worthy pair,
With all the happiness you merit;
When both such CORDIAL feelings share,
No doubt it will proceed with SPIRIT.
[Pg 21]
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES—No. XX.
STEP THE SIXTH.
Farewell to courtship's happy hours! ”

“ She is quizz'd by the girls—she is smok'd by the boys—
And her ears are saluted by squalling and noise;
While some lad with a tray, and a sheep's head upon it,
Shouts out, "There she goes with a shocking bad bonnet!" [Pg 97]
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES—No. XCIII.
THE LONG-SONG SELLER.
——"Here ye are my ready money customers; you have 'em here at THREE YARDS A PENNY. First of all:—
Here's "Jolly nose," "Begone dull care,"
"Black Bess," "What are you at" now? ”

“ ADELPHI THEATRE.
BILLY WATERS.
Sigr. Paolo's,
Night.
BOX
[Pg 113]
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES—No. CIX.
QUEEN CAROLINE AND THE TEMPTER.
And so they sent a Messenger,
To meet the Queen halfway;
And give her Fifty Thousand Pounds
If she abroad would stay;
And never more be call'd a Queen,
Or any such a thing,
But leave them with their daintv dish
To set before the King. From a brochure entitled the "Green Bag: or, a Dainty Dish to set before a King." Published by Hone, and illustrated by Geo. Cruikshank. ”

“ There were a hundred-and-one versions of "Jim Crow," fresh stanzas being added from day to day on the passing events, for the most part written by Leman Rede, and Buckstone, the honorarium offered by Rice being one shilling per line. We select the above from the first version as sung at the Surrey Theatre.
[Pg 137]
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES—No. CXXXIII.
JIM ALONG JOSEY.
Oh, I'se from Lusiana, as you must all know,
Dar's where Jim along Josey's all de go—
Dem nigger all rise when de bell does ring,
And dis am de song dat dey do sing. ”

“ Now, my maids, here's your right sort—reg'lar good'uns, and no mistake—vorth two o'your shop harticles, and at half the price. Now my pretty von, lay out a tanner, and charge your missus a bob—and no cheating neither! the cook has always a right to make her market penny and to assist a poor cove like me in the bargain. ”

“ Husband: Now then, Old Gal; cook us about another pound and a half of our home made bacon, and, then I do think I shall 'ave done for this once.
Wife: Yes! Tom, but recollect that Parson said on Sunday last, that poor folks, since the 'provements of cookery eat about twice as much as nature requires.
Husband: Well! then we can't do no better than practice what Parson preaches about, can we? ”

“ Talking half-an-hour or more;
For, you must know, that was her plan,
To have a good look at the dogs'-meat man.
"Times are hard," says the dogs'-meat man;
"Folks get in my debt," says the dogs'-meat man ”

“ Then when blazing hot we get with India's gums and spices,
We take a stroll towards the Pole, and cool our-selves with ices.
Now is the time for a sly trip to the Moon, sir, &c. [Pg 110]
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES—No. CVI.
LIFE
IN THE
BACK SLUMS OF THE HOLY LAND.
R. C.
There's a difference between a beggar and a queen,
And the reason I'll tell you why;
A queen cannot swagger, nor get drunk like a beggar.
Nor be half so happy as I,—as I. [Pg 111]
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES—No. CVII.
"DINNER TIME;
OR,
HOW TO COMFORT THE INWARD MAN."
Appetite comes with eating, says Angeston.—Rabelais, bk. ”