Gilbert Keith Chesterton

“ It is the Alcohol! And you have no sign and you shall laugh at a magistrate."
Dalroy, with a bow, retired to the car, removed a number of wrappings and produced the prodigious wooden sign-post of "The Old Ship," with its blue three-decker and red St. George's cross conspicuously displayed. This he planted on his narrow territory of turf and looked round serenely.
"In this old oak-panelled inn of mine," he said, "I will laugh at a million magistrates. Not that there's anything unhygienic about this inn. No low ceilings or stuffiness here. Windows open everywhere, except in the floor. ”

“ Hugby, "if the police come all this way and can't lock up a dirty loafer whose coat's all in rags, there's an end of me paying these fat infernal taxes and--"
"Yes," said Dalroy, in a voice that fell like an axe, "there is an end of you, please God. It's brewers like you that have made the inns stink with poison, till even good men asked for no inns at all. And you are worse than the teetotallers, for you prevented what they never knew. And as for you, eminent man of science, great philanthropist, idealist and destroyer of inns, let me give one cold fact for your information. ”

“ But the Doctor was far too rabidly rejoicing in his triumph to understand the Captain's meaning.
"Sells alcohol, are the exact words," he insisted, brandishing the blue oblong of the new Act of Parliament.
"So far as I am concerned they are inexact words," said Captain Dalroy, with polite indifference. "I have not been selling alcohol, I have been giving it away. Has anybody here paid me money? Has anybody here seen anybody else pay me money? I'm a philanthropist just like Dr. Meadows. I'm his living image!" ”

“ He took a sip of the liquid, and his eyes stood out from his face.
"You've been mixing something with the milk," were the first words that came to him.
"Yes," answered Dalroy, "and so have you, unless you're a swindler. Why is your milk advertised as different from everyone else's milk, if you haven't made the difference? Why does a glass of your milk cost threepence, and a glass of ordinary milk, a penny, if you haven't put twopennorth of something into it? Now, look here, Dr. Meadows. The Public Analyst who would judge this, happens to be an honest man. ”

“ It tastes like a prehistoric inconsistency--I trust I make myself clear. The men who taste it most are the simplest men that God has made, and it always reminds them of the salt, because it is made out of sugar. ”

“ A motor car drove up with a white explosion of dust, and about six very dusty people got out of it. Even through the densest disguise of the swift motorist, Pump perceived in many of them the peculiar style and bodily carriage of the police. ”

“ It is lost labour that you rise up early in the morning and eat the bread of carefulness; while He giveth His beloved sleep.' Try and understand what that means, and never mind whether it's Elohistic. And now, Hump, we'll away and away. I'm tired of the green tiles over there. Come, fill up my cup," and he banged down the cask in the car, "come saddle my horses and call out my men. And tremble, gay goats, in the midst of your glee; for you've no' seen the last of my milk can and me."
This song was joyously borne away with Mr. Dalroy in the disappearing car ”