Ian Hay

“ Madame has bailed him out for an hour or two. I am not a French scholar myself; but I gathered from her that there would be the father and mother of a row with the curé if I did n’t let Petit Jean off for Sunday Mass.”
“The curé?” Over the troubled features of Captain Crombie stole a flicker of relief—almost of inspiration. “The curé here is a friend of mine,” he continued. “I gave him a lift in the mess-cart only the day before yesterday. Ha-ha! Tell the sergeant major I want him, Cradock, like a good chap.” ”

“ The sensitive Crombie smiled feebly upon the tearful ladies, told the sergeant-major to bring up the prisoners in the morning, and withdrew, in bad order, to his Armstrong hut behind the hayrick.
Meanwhile Petit-Jean and 'Nrri sat in the straw in the screened-off corner of the barn which served as a guard-room, talking. Most of the guard were sleeping heavily, but in no circumstances would they have been able to understand the patois employed by the prisoners. The President of the French Academy would not have been able to understand it. ”

“ It was an uncomfortable time for more important persons than Petit-Jean. The two six-inch guns, Ferdinand and Isabella, were receiving attentions from the Boche artillery which grew daily more tiresome and accurate. It was obvious that they had been “spotted.” One day a big howitzer shell swung lazily out of the blue and landed ten yards from the abiding-place of Isabella. ”

“ Through this could be seen the tossing branches of trees, silhouetted against the flares of the trench-line.
“You see?” said Maple. “This is the signalling stand. It is exactly level with that little round window. Impossible to spot a flash sent from here, unless you were right in the line of the window and the lamp. I should say that the line of sight from this platform to the lower edge of the window just clears our front-line trenches. Pretty neat! Cunning fellow!”
“I wonder where he keeps his lamp?” mused Crombie. ”

“ That is the reason why I suspect the boy. A full-grown man could n't come groping about in here without making a noise. But a boy might creep in; and you, sir, if you will pardon the liberty, being perhaps a heavy sleeper, he might be able to help himself without disturbing you.”
Sergeant-Major Goffin ran down and stood at ease. Crombie pondered.
“There is only one thing to do,” he said at last—“search the loft. I don't like the idea. Neither will Madame. But—”
“I have a plan, sir,” announced the sergeant-major modestly. ”

“ It is true that a pair of six-inch guns (named respectfully Ferdinand and Isabella) , artfully concealed in a meadow a hundred yards distant, roared forth their message of destruction at uncertain periods both by day and night, shaking Cow Corpse Farm to its foundations; but they hardly disturbed the well earned slumber of B Company.
About three o'clock each afternoon the methodical Boche gunners would begin their daily exercise of “searching” for Ferdinand and Isabella. ”

“ Comprenez? Anyhow, I’ll tell the curé myself, my son, so you’ll get it put across you either way. Now, then, clear out! Allez vous en! Sergeant-Major, for Heaven's sake, take this hiccuping little blighter away!”
Whether Petit-Jean was duly appreciative of the linguistic effort made on his behalf by Captain Crombie will never be known. But the fact remains that on the following Tuesday afternoon, Madame appeared at the kitchen doorway, and summoned Petit-Jean, who was engaged upon some professional duty in the pigsty, to the family living-room. ”

“ The parcels in question contained such comforts as go to mitigate the discomforts of the soldier on active service, and were addressed to members of the company to which “B” acted as relief. On Tuesday this company would come out of trenches and take over Cow Corpse Farm and all that appertained to it, including the heap of parcels which had been accumulating for them in their absence. But the heap would not be a complete heap.
“We shall have to do something,” said Rumbelow.
“Did you speak to the sergeant-major about it?” asked Crombie.
“Yes. He wants to see you.” ”

“ That's the worst of fighting in a friendly country; you have to consider everybody's feelings so infernally. I bet the Boche has everybody on his side of the line trotting around with a number-plate on like a taxi. ”

“ Presently Sergeant-Major Goffin arrived, and saluted with the stately thoroughness of a generation which learned its drill in days when time was no object.
“Sergeant-Major,” began Crombie, “I want to consult you about this parcel business. Do you suspect anybody?” ”

“ Fortunately it was a “dud,” but the battery commander, realizing the undesirability of tempting Providence too far, telephoned for his traction engine, and within a few hours the two big guns had been towed to a fresh anchorage some distance to a flank. The next morning was devoted to “registering,” with the aid of an aeroplane, upon a convenient château behind the Boche lines. ”

“ Whenever the accumulation of parcels from the kitchen made it worth while, 'Nrri was accustomed to pay a nocturnal visit to the establishment of a venerable female, who supported life, externally, by the sale of small beer, cigarettes, and picture postcards. ”

“ The lady was known among the light-hearted soldiery of the district—possibly in reference to a figure which bore unmistakable testimony to some sixty years of generous diet and insufficient exercise—as Madame Zeppelin. ”