John Burgoyne

“ Enter Lord Gayville and Sir Clement.
Lord G. I am resolved to see Miss Alscrip no more.
Sir C. And I hope you are prepared with arguments to justify the cause of this breach, to me, and to the world.
Lord G. For my reconciliation with you, I hope your former partiality will return to my aid; and as for the world, I despise it. The multitude look at happiness through the false glare of wealth and pomp: I have discovered it, though yet at a distance, through the only true medium, that of mutual affection. ”

“ Then return to Sir Clement, and follow my example.
Rightly. No, Mr. Alscrip, though I acknowledge your skill, I do not subscribe to your doctrine. The English law is the finest system of ethics, as well as government, that ever the world produced, and it cannot be too generally understood.
Alscrip. Law understood! Zounds! would you destroy the profession!
Rightly. No, I would raise it. Had every man of sense the knowledge of the theory, to which he is competent; the practice would revert to the purity of its institution, maintain the rights, and not promote the knavery, of mankind. ”

“ Miss Alton. In one, my lord, not very much above the class of a servant.
Lord G. Impossible, sure! It is to place the brilliant below the foil—to make the inimitable work of nature secondary to art and defect.
Miss Alton. It is to take refuge in a situation that offers me security against suspicious obligation; against vile design; against the attempts of a seducer—It is to exercise the patience, that the will, and perhaps the favour, of Heaven meant to try. ”

“ Sir Clement is suspicion personified: his eye probes one's very thought.
Blandish. Your best chance would be to double your assiduities to Miss Alscrip. But then dissimulation is so mean a vice.—
Lord G. It is so indeed, and if I give into it for a moment, it is upon the determination of never being her husband. I may despise and offend a woman; but disgust would be no excuse for betraying her. Adieu, Blandish; if you see Prompt first, I trust to you for the quickest communication of intelligence.
Blandish. I am afraid you may—I cannot resist you. [Exit Lord Gayville.] —Ah! ”

“ Mrs. Sagely. Suspect every body, if you would be safe—but most of all suspect yourself. Ah, my pretty truant—the heart, that is so violent in its aversions, is in sad danger of being the same in its affections, depend upon it.
Miss Alton. Let them spring from a just esteem, and you will absolve me: my aversion was to the character of the wretch I was threatened with—can you reprove me?
Mrs. Sagely. And tell me truly now; do you feel the same detestation for this worse character you have made acquaintance with? This rake—this abominable Heartly?——Ah, child, your look is suspicious. ”

“ Lady E. Of how superior a quality, my good uncle, must be the benevolence you possess! it rises with the progress of mischief; and is gratified (upon principles of general good) by finding confidence abused, and esteem misplaced. Am I not right in attributing your joy at present to that sort of refinement?
Sir C. Hah! and to what sensations, my good niece, shall be attributed the present state of your spirits? To the disgust you took to Clifford almost at first sight. ”

“ Lady E. Lest one should pop unaware upon something one should not, like a naughty speech in an old comedy; but it is only skipping what would make one blush.
Sir C. Or if you did not skip, when a woman reads by herself, and to herself, there are wicked philosophers, who doubt whether her blushes are very troublesome.
Lady E. [To Sir Clement.] Do you know now that for that speech of yours—and for that saucy smile of yours, [To Clifford.] I am strongly tempted to read you both aloud!
Sir C. Come try——I'll be the first to open the book. ”

“ Sir C. All, regular, strict, undeviating modern morals—common property is the first principle of friendship; your horse, your house, your purse, your mistress—nay, your wife, would be a better example still of the doctrine of this generous age. Bless fortune, Gayville, that has brought the fidelity of your friend and your girl to the test at the same time.
Lord G. Sir, I am not in a humour for any spleen but my own. What can this mean? It must have been a secret attachment for years—but then the avowal of a correspondence, and the confusion at receiving it—his coldness in traducing her ”

“ Mrs. Blandish. To one worth the pains, I can tell you—Miss Alscrip.
Blandish. What, sensibility to Miss Alscrip! My dear sister, this is too much, even in your own way: had you run changes upon her fortune, stocks, bonds, and mortgages; upon Lord Gayville's coronet at her feet, or forty other coronets, to make footballs of if she pleased,—it would have been plausible; but the quality you have selected——
Mrs. Blandish. Is one she has no pretensions to; therefore the flattery is more persuasive—that's my maxim. ”

“ Sir C. And no better monopoly than that of a needy man's distresses. Alscrip has had twenty such, or I should not have singled out his daughter to be Lord Gayville's wife.
Cliff. It is a compensation for my family losses, that in the event they will conduce to the interest of the man I most love.
Sir C. Heyday, Clifford!—take care—don't trench upon the Blandish—Your cue, you know, is sincerity.
Cliff. You seem to think, sir, there is no such quality. I doubt whether you believe there is an honest man in the world. ”

“ Lady E. That with such claims to respect you should be in any circumstances of humiliation, is a disgrace to the age we live in.
Miss Alton. Madam, my humiliation (if such it be) is just. Perhaps I have been too proud, and my heart required this self-correction. A life of retired industry might have been more pleasing to me; but an orphan—a stranger—ignorant and diffident, I preferred my present situation, as one less exposed to misrepresentation. [Bell rings.] I can no longer detain Miss Alscrip from the honour of receiving your ladyship. ”

“ Your man of honour never sets his friend right, till he has exchanged a shot—or a thrust: Oh, a little steel recipe is a morning whet to the temper: It carries off all qualms, and leaves the digestion free for any thing that is presented to it.
Miss Als. Dear, how fortunate! Considering the pills some folks have to swallow.
Sir C. Blandish, see if the door of Clifford's room is yet unlocked, there is a person within you little expect to find, and whom it may be proper for this lady and me to interrogate together. ”

“ Sir C. Clifford, do you mean to laugh at me?
Cliff. What is your opinion, Lady Emily?
Lady E. [Endeavouring again at Vivacity.] That there may be such: but it's odds they are troublesome or insipid. Pure ingenuousness, I take it, is a rugged sort of thing, which scarcely will bear the polish of common civility; and for disinterestedness—young people sometimes set out with it; but it is like travelling upon a broken spring—one is glad to get it mended at the next stage. ”

“ Enter Sir Clement.
Sir C. Well, Clifford, what do you think of her?
Cliff. Make yourself perfectly easy, sir: This girl, when known, can make no impression on Lord Gayville's mind; and I doubt not but a silk-gown and a lottery-ticket, had they been offered as an ultimatum, would have purchased her person.
Sir C. [With a dry sneer.] Don't you sometimes Clifford, form erroneous opinions of people's pretensions? Interest and foolish passion inspire strange notions—as one or the other prevails, we are brought to look so low, or so high—
Cliff. [With emotion.] ”

“ Gayville and Emily, if they had not a vigilant guard, would be his sure prey; for they are examples of the generous affections coming to maturity [29] with their stature; while suspicion, art, and interest are still dormant in the seed. I must employ Blandish in this business—A rascal of a different cast—Below Clifford in hypocrisy, but greatly above him in the scale of impudence. They shall both forward my ends, while they think they are pursuing their own. I shall ever be sure of a man's endeavours to serve me, while I hold out a lure to his knavery and interest. ”

“ Sir Clement looks it over, and tears it.] What do you mean, sir?
Sir C. To cancel the obligation, and pay the equivalent [91] to Gayville; or if Clifford will have his own way, and become a beggar by renewing it, to make an heiress of my own for his reparation—and there she stands. [Pointing to Lady Emily.] With sensibility and vivacity so uncommonly blended, that they extract benevolence wherever it exists, and create it where it never was before—Your point is carried—You may both fall upon your knees, for the consent of the ladies.
Lord G. [To Miss Clifford.] ”

“ What the devil is mounseer at? I thought all his agility lay in his fingers: what antics is the monkey practising? He twists and doubles himself as if he had a raree-show at his back.
Chignon. [Aside.] Be gar no raree-show for you, monsieur Alscrip, if I can help.
Alscrip. [Spying Miss Alton.] Ah! ah! What have we got there? Monsieur, who is that?
[39]
Chignon. Sir, my lady wish to speak to you in her boudoir. She sent me to conduct you, sir.
Alscrip. [Imitating.] Yes, sir, but I will first conduct myself to this lady—Tell me this minute, who she is? ”

“ Serv. My lord, Mr. Blandish.
[Exit.
Cliff. [Significantly.] I hope every man will do the same.
Blandish. Mr. Clifford, do not let me drive you away—I want to learn your power to gain and to preserve dear Lord Gayville's esteem.
Cliff. [With a seeming Effort to withdraw his Hand, which Blandish holds.] Sir, you are quite accomplished to be an example.—
Blandish. I have been at your apartment, to look for you—we have been talking of you with Sir Clement—Lady Emily threw in her word.—
Cliff. [Disengaging his Hand.] Oh, sir, you make me too proud. [Aside.] Practised parasite! ”

“ General Burgoyne appears to have been a man capable of performing all things that did not require absolute genius. He was complete in mediocrity, A valiant, but not always a skilful, soldier; an elegant, but sometimes an insipid, writer.
When the comedy of "The Heiress" was first acted, it was compared, and preferred by some persons, to "The School for Scandal." It attracted vast sums of money from the east, as well as the west part of the metropolis;—but was more justly appreciated when the season of acting was over, and the playhouses closed. ”

“ Sir, I expect before you come home—
Alscrip. Death and devils, expect to be ruined——this comes of listening to you——The sex hold the power of mischief by prescription—Zounds!—Mischief—Mischief—is the common law of womankind. ”

“ Alscrip. [Opening the Door.] Sex and vehemence! What is the matter now?
Enter Miss Alscrip in the most violent emotion.
Miss Als. So, sir; yes, sir; you have done finely [55] by me indeed, you are a pattern for fathers—a precious match you had provided!
[Walking about.
Alscrip. What the devil's the matter?
Miss Als. [Running on.] I, that with 50,000 independent pounds, left myself in a father's hands—a thing unheard of, and waited for a husband with unparalleled patience till I was of age——
Alscrip. What the devil's the matter? ”

“ Sir C. Altogether making a perfectly desirable companion for the closet: I am sure, Clifford, you will agree with me. Gad we are got into such a pleasant freedom with each other, it is a pity to separate while any curiosity remains in the company. Pr'ythee, Clifford, satisfy me a little as to your history. Old Lord Hardacre, if I am rightly informed, disinherited your father, his second son. ”

“ Blandish. [Aside.] Sneering puppy.—— [To Lord Gayville.] My lord, you seem disconcerted; has any thing new occurred?
Lord G. No, for there is nothing new in being disappointed in a friend.
Blandish. Have you told your story to Mr. Clifford?
Lord G. I have, and I might as well have told it to the cynic my uncle: he could not have discouraged or condemned me more.
Blandish. They are both in the right. I see things exactly as they do—but I have less fortitude, or more attachment than others:—The inclinations of the man, I love, are spells upon my opposition. ”

“ Lord G. You in correspondence with Miss Alton!—when? where? What am I to think of this?
Cliff. My dear lord, that she is the most arrant coquette, the most accomplished jilt, the most ready trafficker of her charms——
Lord G. Phrensy and profanation!
Sir C. Come, Gayville, I'll be plain with you; you have sillily let the girl raise her price upon you—but, if nothing else will satisfy you, e'en pay it, and have done with her.
Lord G. Sir, her price is an unadulterated heart: I am afraid we cannot pay it betwixt us.
Enter Chignon; he delivers a Letter to Clifford, apart. ”