L. Frank Baum

“ But I pride myself upon my awful appearance, which should strike terror into the hearts of all beholders. At one time every creature in this island feared me, and acknowledged me their king; but those horrid Mifkets discovered I was rubber, and have defied me ever since."
"How came you to be alive?" asked John. "Was it the Great Elixir?"
"I've never heard of the Great Elixir," replied the bear, "and I've no idea how I came to be alive. My earliest recollection is that I was living in much the same way that I am now. Do you remember when you were not living?" ”

“ This is a little mortal Princess named Jacquelin, whom I have protected because her heart is as fresh and innocent as the daisies that grow in the fields. This is Chick, known also as the Cherub, an Incubator Baby without relatives, but who is not lacking in friends. And this is John Dough, a strange creature, having the form of a man, made out of gingerbread. He is not exactly a fairy, but lives through the magic of a fairy compound known as the 'Great Elixir,' and is therefore not responsible for being alive and is liable to perish before he has grown very old. ”

“ Taken altogether, this odd creature presented a most surprising appearance, and while John Dough and Para Bruin stared at it in amazement Chick boldly asked:
"Who are you?"
"Sport is my name, and sport my nature," answered the creature, winking one eye frightfully, and grinning until its queer mouth curled up at both corners of the slit.
"Sport," remarked the rubber bear, gravely, "is something amusing; so I am sure you are misnamed."
"Oh! you're a balloon," returned Sport, kicking at the bear with one of his golf-club feet; "the kid's a chucklehead and the other's a bun." ”

“ Here's a chance for either a fine ransom or a pot of boiling oil!"
"Then it's the oil," said Para Bruin, despondently; "for we have no ransom."
"You may as well start the bonfire," remarked Chick.
But John Dough stepped up to the pirate chief and asked:
"How much ransom do you require?"
"Well," answered the chief, "you're not worth much, yourself, and the child's too small to count; but a fine rubber bear like that is worth ten pieces-of-eight or a sparkling jewel."
"I will give you a sparkling jewel for him, as a ransom," said John, "provided you will then permit us to depart in peace." ”

“ Chick scrambled after and at once pressed the electric button, while John threw over the silver lever.
The big wings began to flop just as a number of men came upon the roof, uttering loud cries at the evident attempt of their prisoners to escape. But the strong pinions of the bird swept them flat, like so many ten-pins, and before they could get upon their feet again the flying-machine was high in the air and well out of their reach. ”

“ The Mifkets looked at the gingerbread man in astonishment. Not because they had any idea what a flying-machine might be, but to hear their own language spoken by so queer a personage, filled them with amazement.
"Are you one of those miserable creatures called humans?" asked the King, blinking his eyes at the gingerbread man.
"I cannot, in truth, claim to be precisely human," replied John, "but it is certain that I possess a degree of human wisdom. It comes from the Elixir, you know." ”

“ Chick called to John.
"Rather nice," answered the gingerbread man. "But this cord is so tight it's wearing a crease in my body."
"What a pity you are not made of rubber, as I am!" said the bear, cheerfully. "Nothing ever injures me in the least. I'm practically indestructible."
"How are you getting on, Chick?" asked John.
"Fine!" answered the Cherub. "This knocks Imar's flying-machine into a cocked hat."
Then for a time they sailed on in silence, dangling from the ends of their cords, while the strong wings of the flamingoes beat the air with regular strokes just above their heads. ”

“ But behind this green sward towered a forest so strange and magnificent that both Chick and John Dough held their breaths in amazed awe as they gazed upon it. For they beheld a confused group of the most gorgeous plants imaginable, most of them having broad leaves as big as the sails of a ship and of exceedingly vivid colorings. ”

“ The Silver Pig
"How long is that story of the Silver Pig?" asked John, when they were alone in their room.
"As long as I want to make it," answered Chick, brightly.
"But suppose they get tired of it?" John suggested, timidly.
"Then they'll finish us and the story at the same time," laughed the child. "But we won't wait for that, John Dough. This palace isn't a healthy place for strangers, so I guess the quicker we get away from it the better. When everybody is asleep we'll go to the place where our machine lies, up on the roof, and fly away." ”

“ "No, thank you," said John. "I have no use for diamonds, any more than you have."
"But the time may come when riches will be a great help to you," said the man, and picking out three very big stones he began pressing them into John Dough's gingerbread body, one after the other.
"There!" he exclaimed. "They are now safely concealed, and if you ever need them you can dig them out and sell them. Those three stones would be worth several thousand dollars if you ever get into the world again, where diamonds are valued."
"You are very generous," said John.
[Pg 116]
"Oh, not at all, I assure you!" ”

“ Indeed, on all the Isle of Phreex, there is no one more unpleasant to meet with than this same lot of Failings."
At this the Brothers all bowed, saying at the same time:
"We are proud of ourselves!"
At that instant the Awkward tripped over his own toes and fell against the Blunderer, who tumbled headlong and thrust his slim lance straight through the body of John Dough.
"Oh!" cried Chick, greatly horrified.
"I told you so!" growled the Fresh-Air Fiend, pulling out the lance hastily. "Tell me, John Dough, are you dead, or are you just dying?" ”

“ The rabbit did not know, of course, and looked at its new acquaintance in a puzzled sort of way.
"Are there any more like you on this island?" inquired John Dough.
"Oh, yes; there are lots of us!" exclaimed the rabbit. "But not so many of us as there are Mifkets."
"And what is a Mifket?" asked John.
"A sort of creature that is neither an animal nor a man," answered Pittypat. "And the Mifkets rule this island because they are bigger and fiercer than we rabbits are. Also I know many squirrels and birds and mice, and the Fairy King of the beavers—for I am well acquainted here. ”

“ Now, when John Dough left Madame Grogrande's shop and wandered up the street, he was reeking with the delightful odor of fresh gingerbread. Indeed, he was still so hot from the oven that I am positive you could not have held your hand against him for more than a second. The Great Elixir had brought him to life, and given him a certain standing in the world; but during the first half-hour of his existence John Dough was very hot-headed. ”

“ Chick inquired, curiously.
"It is the Castle of Lohi, inhabited by our King—when we have one—who also rules the poor barbarians who dwell outside of our paradise, on the other side of the wall."
"When do you expect to have another king?" asked the Cherub.
"Whenever one comes who is wise and just, and is not made of flesh and blood," replied the man. "We have a legend that such a king shall rule us, but for my part I do not believe there is a person of that description in all the world."
"Yet there may be," suggested Chick, who had been thinking that the description just fitted John Dough. ”

“ In this curious island there is no value to anything whatever, not even to life. All I can do with my diamonds here is to stick them into the kinglet's crown and sceptre; so I'm getting a big stock of them laid by. Very soon I shall begin studding the roof of the throne-room with diamonds, and it will be a pretty sight to see them glittering in one mass. ”

“ That might have ended the interview had not Black Ooboo, scowling and angry, stepped forward and said:
"If the stranger is to live with us he must fight for the right to live in peace. It is our custom, your Majesty."
"So it is," returned the King, waking up again. "The stranger must fight."
At this decision all the Mifkets howled with delight, and Chick and the Princess began to be uneasy about their friend. But John said, calmly:
"I have never fought with any one, your Majesty; but I'll do the best I can. With whom must I fight?" ”

“ Therefore we must get along without a king until the arrival of the wise and just ruler who is neither flesh nor blood."
"Who are the Loes?" the child asked.
"I have never seen them, my dear, for the great wall divides them from our superior nation," said the soldier; "but they are said to be short and squat, and very disagreeable. They live on the other side of the island."
"Thank you for the information," said Chick, and then turned and re-entered the castle.
"What did you find out?" inquired John and Para Bruin, in the same breath. ”

“ Before the group of Mifkets, who stood close together near the waterfall, knew what the bear meant to do, old Para's body shot upon them and dashed them in every direction. Some lay stunned upon the ground; but most of them were tumbled into the river, where they struggled frantically to regain the shore.
"Quick!" cried Pittypat, "your friend has saved you. But do not lose an instant's time!"
The children and the gingerbread man obeyed at once, and in a few steps reached the waterfall.
"Creep behind the sheet of water!" commanded the rabbit. "You will find the Beaver King awaiting you. ”

“ I don't remember having eaten any gingerbread since I was a boy—ahem!—I mean since I came to rule over the Isle of Phreex. Ho there, my guards! Fetch me a knife!"
John was now trembling with terror; but Chick said to the kinglet: "Your Majesty forgets that you are to have pancakes and maple-syrup for tea. What's the use of spoiling your appetite, when you know the gingerbread man will keep good for weeks?"
"Are you sure?" asked the kinglet, anxiously. "Are you sure he'll keep? Won't he get stale?"
"Of course not," answered the child. "He's the kind of gingerbread that always keeps good. ”

“ You must meet the Mifkets, of course, since you cannot leave this island; and you must obey them as we all do. But perhaps Mr. Dough, being made of gingerbread, will be treated with more respect than human beings are."
"Or with less," said John, with a shudder. "Nevertheless, we will meet the Mifkets boldly, and I am not going to make myself unhappy by being afraid of them."
"Nor I," said Chick. "They're only beasts." ”

“ John decided that it was worth attempting, being the only thing to do. The Mifkets were pressing closer, and soon he would be within reach of their clubs. So, as the macaw flew into the air John grasped its legs with his right hand (which was the only hand that had fingers) , and, sure enough, the strength of the little bird was so great that it easily drew him up into the air, high above the heads of his chattering and disappointed foes. ”

“ I never had so much fun in all my life."
Just then a great chattering reached his ears, and looking around, he found that a numerous band of the fierce Mifkets had stolen upon him, and were now coming forward armed with huge clubs which they had broken from the forest plants, and which were as solid and heavy as the branches of trees.
"Surrender!" cried the leader, knowing that the gingerbread man understood their language; "King Ooboo wants you for his luncheon, and Ali Dubh is also hungry." ”

“ Saying this, the wooden Indian bowed to the kinglet, gave a furious war-whoop, and stalked stiffly from the room.
"Bring on the next prisoner!" shouted the kinglet, and both Chick and John gave a gasp of surprise as Imar was brought into the room. The inventor of the flying-machine, however, did not seem the least bit frightened, and bowed calmly before the throne.
"What's the charge against this man?" inquired the kinglet.
"He's accused of being a successful inventor," said one of the guards. "The other inventors claim no one who succeeds has a right to live in the Isle of Phreex." ”

“ John Brown was white and Mary Green was white. If the white people deceive us about their names, I also have a right to deceive."
"Now, by my—my—my—" The kinglet jabbed the fat man with his sceptre.
"Halidom!" yelled Nebbie, with a jump.
"By my halidom!" said the kinglet, "I will allow no one in my kingdom to tell an untruth. There being no wart on your nose, you must die the death! Executioner, do your duty!"
The Failings tripped up the Indian so that he fell upon his face, and then the girl advanced solemnly with her sword. ”

“ Two of us should remain here while the third boldly enters into the cities to make inquiries."
"I'll go," said Chick.
"No, indeed; you're too young and too small," objected Para Bruin.
"But I'm just a regular child, while you're a rubber bear and John Dough's a gingerbread man," said the Cherub. "They wouldn't think anything of my being here; but if either of you two go there's liable to be trouble."
"The Cherub is wise for one so young," observed John. "Therefore we will let the child visit the cities and report to us. ”

“ ALI DUBH ATTACKS JOHN
[Pg 218]
"I dare," replied John.
"But you have nothing to say about it," continued the Arab. "You are not your own master. You belong to me, for I purchased you from Jules Grogrande, the baker, who made you, and I am therefore entitled to eat you whenever I please."
"Nevertheless," answered John, "I will not be eaten if I can help it."
"Ah! but that is unjust!" protested the Arab.
"If to be unjust is to be eaten," said John, "you need not look to me for justice. I may be wrong in this decision, but it is better to be wrong than to be nothing." ”

“ The kinglet was annoyed.
"Pull out that cleaver," he commanded.
The girl tried to obey, but the cleaver stuck fast. Then the Failings tried, one after another; but it wouldn't budge.
"Never mind, leave it there," said the Indian, rolling over and then getting upon his feet. "It won't bother me in the least. In fact, it will make a curious ornament."
"Look here, Sir John Dough," said the kinglet, turning to the gingerbread man; "what am I going to do? I've said the Indian must die, because he has no wart on his nose. And I find I can't kill him. ”

“ And every one here must obey the laws. So, unless you promise not to carve or to eat this man of gingerbread, who is now a subject of our kinglet, we must lock you up in prison."
"I'll eat him as soon as I have the chance. I have a right to do so," cried the Arab.
"You're a bad man!" said Chick, stamping one small foot indignantly.
"I'm not," answered Ali Dubh; "I'm a good man. And I paid Jules Grogrande fifty cents for this gingerbread imitation of a man, who is mixed with my own magic Elixir. ”

“ At the same instant the Arab leaped into the group [Pg 226] that surrounded the throne and placed himself between the King and John Dough.
"Stop!" he screamed, his voice shrill with anger. "How dare you eat the gingerbread I have bought and paid for?"
"There's enough for all," said the King. "We'll divide him up, and have a feast."
"Not so!" shouted the Arab. "He's mine, and mine alone!"
But while they were thus quarreling the gingerbread man, free of his bonds, turned and fled swiftly into the forest, and before the Mifkets or Ali Dubh knew he had gone their intended victim was far away. ”

“ Our hero's first act was to take off the Blunderer's heavy armor and pile it in one corner of the room. When free from the weight of metal he felt more like himself again, and walked to the window to view the scenery.
"It's a pretty place, Chick," he remarked.
"Oh, the Isle is all right," answered the child. "It's the people here that are all wrong, as you'll soon find out. Do you ever eat, John Dough?" ”

“ And what strange child of the human's is this with you?"
"I'm a gingerbread man," answered John, with dignity; "and this is my friend Chick."
"We know what a man is; and we know what a child is; but what's gingerbread?" demanded another of the Mifkets. ”

“ But really I am as much a slave as either of my dear parents."
"Can't you go out if you want to?" asked Chick.
"Oh, yes; but the island is small, and there is no one to play with except Pittypat, who is a white rabbit, and Para Bruin, who is a bouncing brown bear."
"What strange companions!" said John. "I've met Pittypat, and like the white rabbit very much; but a bouncing brown bear must be a dreadful creature." ”