Lucy Ellen Guernsey

“ I had been well furnished, like every Huguenot child, with abundance of answers to every argument that could be brought forward upon the Romish side; but, alas, the armor was loose and dented from neglect, and the sword rusty and out of use. My faith in Christianity itself had been in some degree shaken by the sneers and arguments I had heard from Lewis, and also from my Uncle Charles, who was a worshipper of Mr. Hobbes. I had come to think that one form of faith was perhaps as good as another—that so long as men led good lives, their opinions did not very much matter, and so forth. ”

“ Why should you wish to set Vevette against her father's family?"
"I do not wish it," returned Aunt Jem, looking at once hurt and surprised, for Uncle Charles, though often moody, was seldom anything but kind to his wife, of whom he was both fond and proud. "I am sure it is but natural they should wish to bring the child to their own way of thinking. I am not sure but I should like to be of that way myself," she added, sighing a little. "It is a comfortable kind of faith after all. One puts one's self into the hands of a priest, and then one is sure of salvation." ”

“ My lord was praising lip the institution of marriage, of which he was a great promoter, and my lady, smiling, called him a match-maker.
"Well, I am a match-maker, I don't deny it," said he. "Would you be ashamed of it if you were me, cousin Lovel?"
Betty had been sitting rather silent, and I suppose he meant to include her in the conversation. She answered at once—
"No, indeed, my lord. It is a good vocation. I am sure I have always thanked Vevette for betraying me to my brother, and so bringing my marriage to pass sooner than I could have done." ”

“ She had feverish nights and a slight cough, which made Cousin Marianne look grave whenever she heard it; and she became restlessly anxious to go home, as she said—to see once more the house where she was born, and the places where she had wandered when a child.
"It may be an idle fancy," said she one day to Cousin Marianne; "but since I cannot share my husband's grave, I should like to lie beside my father and mother."
"You must not give up life for a bad business," said Cousin Marianne. "Wish and try to live for your daughter's sake." ”

“ I thought her very sad-looking, and remarked upon it to my aunt.
"Yes, poor thing, she is sad enough, and no wonder, since she is silly enough to love her husband," said my aunt.
"Do you think it silly for a woman to love her husband, aunt?" I asked.
"Yes, when he does not love her. But in truth, the queen is too grave and too devout to please a merry monarch like King Charles."
"Perhaps she finds comfort in devotion," I ventured to remark.
"Yes, I dare say. 'Tis the refuge of disappointed wives and faded widows. ”

“ I was going into the house when he called me and asked me to walk with him to the end of the lane and look out upon the sea.
Betty said she would go too, but Margaret called her back rather sharply, to my great joy, for I hardly felt like keeping terms with her, and I was determined not to quarrel if I could help it.
"You must not mind poor Betty," said Andrew. (Why is the most exasperating member of a family always spoken of as poor so and so?) "She has always been the contrary feather in the family nest, ever since she was born." ”

“ I let him into the courtyard, and called my mother to hear Pierre's tale.
"I was standing by the great gate of the hospital, as they call it," said he. "I had sold my fish to the Sisters, and was waiting for my money when the wicket suddenly opened and Lucille Sablot looked out. Ah, madame, how changed! But, as I said, she looked out, and, seeing no one, she put this little packet into any hand."
"'Quick, Pierre, if ever you cared for me,' said she. 'This for Mamselle Vevette, and make haste. Life and death are in thy steps. ”

“ But, monsieur, what could have been in the chapel which handled the priest so terribly. I found him in the court blinded in both eyes and his face torn to pieces as by a wild beast, and he said something sprang at him in the old chapel. Could it have been that devil of a white chevalier, think you? Could a ghost handle a man like that?"
"I do not know whether or no ghosts can scratch," answered Andrew gravely; "but the one who attacked the priest has been a passenger with us." ”

“ Deborah's remarks of late; and to-day especially I was so moved by her treatment of my salad—ah, madame! Such noble salade des écrevisses! That I fear I forgot myself. Alas, it is too easy to wound the heart of an exile and a childless mother."
And here Jeanne wept in her turn, and Deborah began to look rather ashamed, and to mutter some thing about "not meaning."
"I see how it is," said my aunt, who with all her easiness of disposition was not a person to be despised. "Deborah has allowed herself to be prejudiced, and to believe her mistress capable of the most unworthy conduct." ”

“ Sorrow in itself has no power for good, but only for evil. It is only while we look not at the things that are seen, but at those which are unseen, that it works for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory.
The things unseen had become to me more unreal than any dream, and consequently this great blow only hardened and embittered instead of softening my heart. I said to myself that there was no truth or trust in anything—that Andrew was no better than the rest. ”

“ When I went, as I did now and then, to visit my old friends at the farm, I entertained David with these tales by the hour together, and even Lucille forgot her jealousy to listen. What castles in the air we built on the margins of those great rivers, and what colonies we planted in those unknown lands—colonies where those of the Religion were to find a peaceful refuge, and from which all the evils incident to humanity were to be excluded! ”

“ I laid aside the dreams of worldly pleasure and ambition, which usually occupied so much of my time, and kept my conscience in a state of chronic discomfort, and I really did begin to experience some of those higher and holier joys of which poor Lucille had spoken in that memorable conference of ours. True, we were still under the power of our enemies—still in danger at any time of losing liberty and life. But one becomes used to danger as to everything else, and somehow to me the presence of my cousin seemed a protection, though if I had been asked why, I could not have told for my life. ”

“ The stronger I grew, the more wretched I found myself. I was obliged to go to confession, but Father Martien's threats and cajoleries had no more effect upon me than to make me hate him, as the one who had led me into the snare from which I could see no escape, unless it were such a martyrdom as my father's, or the slower hidden agonies of a convent prison. ”

“ My bed was surrounded by light curtains of blue and white checked linen, and through these at the foot I could see that the hangings of the latticed window were of the same. The bed was covered with a white spread worked with a curious pattern in colored crewels. Everything was very quiet, but I could hear the distant hum of a spinning-wheel, and the singing of a robin outside my window.
I lay quietly a long time, half asleep and dreaming, half bewildered, feeling as if I had died and wakened into a new world, of which all I knew was that it was safe and friendly. ”

“ My heart was sick with the injustice and tyranny, the effects of which I had just seen, but my aunt and uncle seemed to think little of it, and indeed I saw enough more sights of the same kind before we reached Paris. The simple truth was and is, that in France the common people have no rights whatever, but are absolutely at the mercy of their lord. Their crops, the honor of their families, their very lives, depend upon his humor, and how great soever may be the wrong, there is no redress. ”

“ He has seen more of them than I have."
"Theo is well enough," said Andrew. "She is a merry girl, who cares not much for anything but pleasure and finery, but she is good-natured at least. Martha is a girl of another stamp. I pity the man who marries her. She hath far more mind than Theo, but such a temper! Disagree with her ever so little—do but dare to like what she hates or know something she does not—and she is your enemy for life." ”

“ He was certainly a great contrast to poor Father Jean, who used to go about with his deep pockets filled with bonbons, which he distributed to Catholic and Protestant children alike.
"The wretches! The murderous brigands!" said I between my teeth. "Oh, if I could kill them all! The vile kidnappers! Oh, why does the Lord suffer such things?"
"That is what I ask," said Lucille. "Why should they be so prospered and have so much power if the Lord is not on their side? As to these children, I don't know that I pity them so very much. ”

“ Mercer in her hurry had brought not our parish clergyman, but her own, a serious and I believe truly religious young man, who tried to direct my aunt's thoughts and hopes to the only sure foundation, but she hardly attended, and we could not be sure even that she understood.
Surely there is no sight of martyrdom for the truth's sake so terrible, so pitiable, as the death-bed of one who, having given his whole heart and mind to the world, is called upon to leave it forever. ”

“ She thought with longings inexpressible of her quiet English home in the valley of Tre Madoc, of the old red stone house overhung with trees, where dwelt peace and quietness, with none to molest or make afraid; of the little gray church on the moor, with its tall tower, which served as a beacon to the wandering sailor, where the pure word of God was preached, and the old people and little children came every Sunday.
My mother always loved the English Church. She kept her prayer-book by her, and used to read it every day. ”

“ She told me one evening that she had not felt so well in all respects since she was a young girl.
"It is not only in bodily health," said she, "but I am sensible of a great improvement in my spirits—not elation exactly, but a kind of joyfulness as if I were in certain expectation of good news, and I constantly dream of your father and of our old home in France which I have never done before."
I saw Mrs. Dinah shake her head and look grave upon this, but I knew she had her full share of Cornish superstitions. ”

“ Why should you be the heiress of d'Antin and I only a poor farmer's daughter? Why should you learn music and English and dress in silk, while I wear homespun and tend sheep, and come and go at everybody's call? Why should our enemies triumph and eat us up like bread, and live in all sorts of luxury, while we are poor and trodden down like the mire in the streets, and our Master never put forth a hand to help us? ”

“ Did you look to see?"
"Look into Torden's cottage!" said Rosamond, aghast at the very idea. "No indeed; I ran home as fast as I could."
"And wisely too," said Andrew. "But what like was this ghostly gallant?"
"I did not see his face, but he was tall and slim, with a fair love-lock, which slipped out from under his cloak. That was all I noticed, but somehow, he made me think of young Mr. Lovel."
"What nonsense is this!" said Betty angrily. "Rosamond saw one of the village maids out curtsying with her lad. Every one knows she fears her own shadows." ”

“ I began to take an interest in the farm and garden, as indeed I had been used to do at home, and I was more than ever zealous in visiting and working for the school and the poor folks. My aunt had taken to me at once, and I to her, and I believe but for the meddling of another we should never have had a falling out. My charitable work and my studies with Rosamond and my mother had again brought my better self uppermost, and despite Betty's teasing and an occasional sigh for London, or a spasm of home-sickness for dear Normandy, I was very happy. ”

“ It is not seldom that very little things bring home to us the bitterness of grief. I have seen a lady who was perfectly cool, collected, and sweet-tempered through all the dangers of a terrible storm and shipwreck and the miseries of dreadful sea-sickness, protracted for weeks, break down in an agony of grief because the little dog she had brought from France was swept overboard from the wreck an which she might herself go down at any moment. ”

“ Corbet has property of his own. Have you seen any of your cousins yet?"
"Only Cousin Marianne, as she bade me call her. I think she is charming. Is she a widow?"
"No, she has never married."
"Why was that?" I asked, surprised.
"Because she did not choose, I fancy," replied Andrew, smiling. "In England, my cousin, women do not have to choose between a husband and the cloister. I have known more than one lady who has never married, but lived to be a blessing to all about her. Others, I am sorry to say, waste their time in miserable frivolity—in cards and dancing and dress." ”

“ But somehow my firm decision not to marry any one but my first love had brought help and comfort to me. It had been a step in the right direction.
When first locked into my prison cell, I had thrown myself on my knees and besought help from heaven to hold firm my resolution. That prayer had opened the way for others. I began to review my life and sincerely to repent the sins which had brought me into such straits. I saw and recognized the fact that the double-mindedness which had always been my bane, had in this instance lain at the root of my apostasy. ”

“ It was not that my aunt meant to be unkind; on the contrary, at that time she was amiability itself, but in France a young lady of good family lives before her marriage in a state of as much seclusion as if she were in a convent. In fact, almost every French young lady is placed in a convent at a very early age, from which she only emerges to be married to the man not of her own, but of her parents' choice, whom she perhaps never saw more than twice and never a moment alone, till she was married to him. ”

“ Even Jeanne admits that the Cornish folk are Christian people, since, though they cannot speak French, they know how to make cider."
"And very good cider too, madame," answered Jeanne; "and though I think them not very polite to smile at the English which I learned so well to speak in London, yet one must not expect too much of them, living as they do at the very world's end. Why, they tell me, at least that old sailor did, there is absolutely no land between the shore yonder and that savage country of America. Do you think that can be true, madame? It makes one almost afraid." ”

“ I have been in America, my cousin, where our colonies are growing, and where they seem to do fairly well at a pretty good distance from any king. As to such a man as this Louis being the Lord's anointed, any one may believe that who likes. I don't; or, if he is, he is such an one as Saul or Rehoboam."
"Some of our people talk as you do," said my father, while I looked at my cousin's firm lips and sparkling eyes with great approval; "but we are too much divided among ourselves on the subject to make any plan of resistance possible."
"Then I would flee to some better place," said Andrew. ”

“ The long and the short of it is, you think it will be a fine thing to set up for yourself and to have a parcel of young ladies to govern."
"You are mistaken, madame," answered Mercer, with enough of dignity to make me ashamed of my petulance. "If you were to remain here in London or to go into the country, even down to that barbarous Cornwall, that my poor dear lady dreaded so much, I would give up all thoughts of going into the school, and stay with you as long as you wished, and that for your dear mother's sake as well as your own. ”