Margaret M. Robertson

“ Aunt Elsie looked grave and doubtful enough. “But she always does,” thought Christie. “I can judge nothing by that.”
He went farther down the garden-walk than he had ever gone yet; and he looked so cheerful, sitting in the sunshine, that Christie smiled at her unreasonable fears. Alas! that day was to be ever memorable to the Redfern children, as the last on which the sunshine ever rested on their father’s face. He never trod the garden path again.
That night Effie came home, and did not go away again till all was over. Christie never knew very well how those days passed. ”

“ I think almost any place would have been pleasant with Mrs Nesbitt going about so gently and lovingly in it. Some thought of this came into Christie’s mind, as she lay musing there that Sabbath afternoon. The fading light fell on the soft grey hair that showed beneath the widow’s snowy cap, and on the placid face beneath, with a strangely beautifying power. The sweet gravity that was on her silent lips was better worth seeing, Christie thought, than other people’s smiles. Her eyes had no beauty, in the common acceptation of the term. They seemed like eyes that had been washed with many tears. ”

“ You have a talisman against its power. May God make you a blessing to many, as He has made you a blessing to me! Good-bye, my dear child. If we never meet on earth, I humbly hope we may meet in heaven!”
It was not like a parting between mistress and maid. Mrs Lee kissed her earnestly, while her tears fell on her face, and when Christie said “Good-bye,” she clung to her as she had not clung even to Effie. It was like the farewell of sisters who know that they must meet death before they look on each other’s faces again. ”

“ When she sat down with the Bible in her hand, there fell on her spirit no such blessed sense of rest and peace as used to transform the dim attic into something pleasanter than this pretty green room, and fairer than the summer garden.
“There is something wrong,” she said to herself, as she listened to Miss Gertrude’s footsteps on the stair. “I am afraid I am one of the folk that Mrs Grey used to tell about, that an easy life is not good for. Better the weary days and nights than to fall back into my old ways again, just content with the pleasure the day brings, without looking beyond. ”

“ But the more she watched her daily life the more sure she felt that Christie had some secret of sweet peace which she had not yet found. She knew that her strength and cheerfulness daily renewed came from none of the helps to which one in her circumstances might naturally look. It was not the knowledge that she was valued, nor the feeling that little Claude was beginning to love her dearly, that sustained her; though Gertrude could see that these were pleasant and precious to the little maid. ”

“ In her vexed moments Gertrude sometimes took pleasure in starting objections and asking questions which Christie found it difficult to answer.
“It is all real to her, though. One would think, to see her sitting there, that there is nothing in the world that has the power to trouble her long. And there really is nothing, if she is a child of God—as she says. What a strange thing it is!”
She sat watching the little absorbed face, thinking over her own vexed thoughts, till the old restless feeling would let her sit no longer. Rising, she went to the window and looked out. ”

“ There was a few minutes’ silence; and then Effie said:
“Christie, if I were sure that you are one of God’s people—one of the little lambs of His flock—I would not fear to let you go. Do you think you are?”
“I don’t know, Effie. I am afraid not. I am not like what the Bible says God’s people ought to be. But I am sure I wish to be.”
“Christie,” said her sister, earnestly, “you must never let anything hinder you from reading your Bible every day. You must not rest till you are sure about yourself.” ”

“ And little by little, as the uneventful days glided by peace, and more than peace—gratitude and loving praise—filled the heart of Christie’s sister. What could she wish more for the child so loved than such quiet and happy waiting for the end of all trouble? A little while sooner or later, what did it matter? What could she wish more or better for any one she loved? It would ill become her to repine at her loss, so infinitely her sister’s gain.
The discipline of these weeks in her sister’s sick-room did very much for Effie. ”

“ Sick and sorrowful and alone lay the other, her life silently ebbing away, her hold on the world and all it has to give slowly but surely loosening. Yet, in the new light which was beginning to dawn upon him, Mr Sherwood caught a glimpse of a contrast more striking still. On the couch before him lay a little suffering form, wasted and weary, soon to be hidden from the light, little to be mourned, quickly to be forgotten. ”

“ She soon forgot Miss Gertrude, Claude, and all besides, except Effie and the bairns at home. Effie had the faculty, which many people of greater pretensions do not possess, of putting a great deal into a letter. They were always written journal-wise—a little now, and a little then; and her small, clear handwriting had come to be like print to Christie’s accustomed eyes. So she read on, with a smile on her lip, quite unconscious that the eyes that seemed to be seeing nothing but the bright embers were all the time furtively watching her. ”

“ With a cry of delight, she recognised her old favourite, “The Lights and Shadows of Scottish Life.” The very same! though this was glittering in blue and gold, a perfect contrast to the little, brown-covered book, with the title-page lost, which had made Christie forget her bread and her cooling oven on that unhappy day. But the remembrance of the old time and the old favourite came back all the more vividly because of the contrast. The memory of the old times came back. Oh, how long ago it seemed since that summer afternoon when she lay on the grass and read it for the first time! ”

“ She wore a dark cotton frock and checked pinafore, and her feet, without stockings, were slipped into shoes that seemed a world too big for them. She would not have been pretty in any circumstances; but shuffling along in her big shoes and odd dress, she was a very queer-looking little creature indeed.
But there was something about the child more to be deplored than the wide mouth, or the dim eyes, or the drooping figure. There was a look of unhappiness upon her face which, as any one might see, was in consequence of no momentary trouble. It seemed to be habitual. ”

“ The surplus of the harvest, over which she and Christie had so lately rejoiced, would be required to pay the wages of the man who must for the winter take their father’s place; and Effie’s increased salary would be of more value than ever to the family. With a face which she strove to make cheerful for the sake of those she left behind, she went away; but her heart was heavy, and when she kissed Christie a good-bye and bade her keep her courage up for the sake of all, she could hardly restrain her tears till the words were spoken. ”

“ With a cry she turned to clasp the hand of John Nesbitt. Poor little Christie! She was so glad, so very glad! It was almost like seeing Effie herself, she told him, amid a great burst of tears that startled the grave John considerably. For a moment her sobs came fast. The open streets and the wondering passers-by were quite forgotten.
“Whisht, Christie, my woman,” said John, soothingly, “that’s no’ the way we show our gladness in Glengarry.” ”

“ How lovely the place looked to Christie’s unaccustomed eyes! They were not alone. There were groups here and there among the graves—some of them mourners, as their dress showed, others enjoying the loveliness of the place, untroubled by any painful remembrance of the loved and lost. Slowly they wandered up and down, making long pauses in shady places, lingering over the graves of little children which loving hands had adorned. Christie wandered over the little nameless graves, longing to find where her dear ones lay. ”

“ I wouldn’t be without the Bible for all the world; and yet I know I don’t find all the comfort in it that some people do. I suppose it is because I am not sure that I am a Christian.”
“A Christian?” repeated Mrs Lee.
“Yes; a child of God,” said Christie, with a sigh. “If I were sure that I am a child of God, then all the promises in His Holy Word would be mine.”
“I suppose you mean if you were always good and never committed any sin?” said Mrs Lee, inquiringly.
“No; not that, exactly. Even God’s people fall into sin sometimes.” ”

“ And then you could go home and be with Effie.”
“But I never could do what Sarah does at home,” said Christie; “taking care of Aunt Elsie and all. It would be far harder than what I have to do now.”
“But you would be at home, and you would have some one to look after you. I could never think of such a thing as leaving you here alone.”
“But, Annie, Sarah would be alone,” remonstrated Christie.
“Yes, I know; but it’s quite different with Sarah. She’s strong and healthy, and will hold her own with anybody; and besides, I’m sure Effie will never hear of your staying here alone. ”

“ She spoke with tears of little Harry’s love for her, and of Christie’s untiring devotion to him through all his long illness, till her voice lost itself in sobs of sorrow at the memories thus awakened.
Mr Lee did not listen unmoved. All unconsciously, his wife was giving him a glimpse of her own sad experiences during the last few months. Careless as he had grown, he could not listen without a pang, which was half sorrow and half shame.
“My poor Letty!” he said, gently; “you have had a sad time. You have indeed suffered much.” ”

“ Christie sent a grave, questioning look into his face, and said:
“I think the true knowledge of these things is not learned in books, unless it is in the Bible—and not in that, unless God teaches one.”
After a pause, she added:
“It must be true, you know. What can one trust to, if not to the Word of God? What else is there that does not fail us in the time of need, in some way or other?”
“Not much, indeed,” said Mr Sherwood, gravely.
“Nothing,” repeated Christie, “except the word and promise of God. They never fail—never change—never!” ”

“ Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?”
“If we could be sure that we are among the children of God,” said Mrs Lee, with a sigh. And soon after she added: “There are a great many things in the Bible that are hard to understand.”
“Yes; I suppose so—I am sure of it,” said Christie, gravely. “But the things most necessary for us to know and understand are easy for us; at least, with the help of the Holy Spirit they grow easy, I think. It is very plainly told us we are sinners and need a Saviour, that a Saviour has been provided, and those who come to Him He will in no wise cast out. ”

“ I ken that,” said Christie, with some impatience in her tone. “The Bible says so, and people believe it in a general way. But is it true? Do you believe it?”
“Surely I believe it,” said Effie, slowly.
She was considering whether it would be best to say anything more to her sister, vexed and unhappy as her voice and manner plainly showed her to be; and while she hesitated, Christie said again, more quietly:
“If God hears prayer, why are most people so miserable?”
“I don’t think most people are miserable,” said Effie, gravely. “I don’t think anybody that trusts in God can be very miserable.” ”

“ But Christie did not look satisfied.
“‘His people,’” she murmured, “but no others.”
Effie looked perplexed.
“I am not wise in these matters, as I have just told you,” she said, gravely. “Until lately I havena thought much about them. But I think that people sometimes vex themselves in vain. It is to the thirsty who are seeking water that God promises to open fountains. It is to the weary and heavy-laden that Christ has promised rest. I am sure that those who feel their need of God’s help need not fear that they will be refused anything—I mean, anything that is good for them.” ”

“ She ought to know at once.”
“Yes; they must be told at once,” said Mr Sherwood. “But I fancy, from what the doctor said, they can’t do much for her; and from the poor little thing herself I have gathered that the only one who could come to her is her elder sister, on whom the rest seem to be quite dependent.”
“But she must come, too,” said Gertrude, eagerly. “That is Effie. There is no one in all the world like Effie, Christie thinks. Oh, Cousin Charles, they have not always been poor. And they have suffered so much—and they love each other so dearly!” ”

“ Christie was wrapping Claude in a plaid, and preparing to wheel him round the garden—as quiet and uninteresting a person, to all appearance, as one could fancy a child’s nurse to be.
“Carry me, Cousin Charles,” entreated little Claude. “It is so much nicer than to be drawn in the carriage. Do take me for a little while.”
“We’ll play horses,” said Clement, making his appearance at the moment, “and I’ll drive. Now, up and away!”
Christie sat down to her work again, while they carried on a merry game up and down the cedar walk, with much shouting and laughter from all. ”

“ In the silence of many a long and wakeful night, he could not but look in the face the possibility that his children might be left orphans, and the thought could not be otherwise than one of great pain. But he suffered no expression of doubt or fear to discourage them. He wished to live for their sakes; and for a long time he believed that he should live. But the hope passed away with the winter. As the days began to grow long, and the time approached when his children hoped he would be well again, the conviction gradually dawned upon him that the summer air would bring no healing. ”

“ She laid down the book and rocked the baby gently on her knee. Her thoughts were not very happy, Christie fancied, if she might judge by her face, which grew grave and sad as she gazed on the child. One of the little boys made a sudden movement. Christie rose to replace the coverlet on him.
“How peacefully they sleep!” said their mother. “Ah me!” she added; “if they could always be as free from care! If I could get but one glimpse into their future! And yet perhaps it is better as it is.”
“It is better to trust than to know, I once heard Effie say.” ”

“ I am afraid he will never be strong and well again.”
“Oh, don’t say so,” said Christie, sadly, quite shocked at what she heard. “Please God, he will be well again. He is only a child; and children outlive so much. For two or three years no one thought I should live to grow up. But I am quite well now.”
“You are not a giant yet, nor very strong either. At least you don’t look so,” said Gertrude.
“But I shall grow strong here in the country. I am better already since I came. Do you really think that little Master Claude will never be strong and well again?” ”

“ Effie’s tears had been kept back so long, they must have free course now. It was in vain to try to stay them. But soon she raised herself up, and said:
“I didna mean to trouble you, Christie. I know I have no need to grieve for you. But, oh! I cannot help thinking you might have been spared longer if I had been more watchful—more faithful to my trust!”
“Effie,” said Christie, “move me a little, and lie down beside me. I have something to say to you, and there can be no better time than now. You are weary with your long watching. Rest beside me.” ”

“ But still she grew weaker every day, far weaker than she knew, for she could not try her strength now by walking in the hall or climbing the broad stairs that led to the wards. Yes, she grew weaker. Her appetite quite failed, and except when the doctor gave her something to ease the pain and soothe her restlessness, she slept little at night, but dozed in her chair through the day, starting many a time from a dream of home, or of the days when she was so happy with Gertrude and little Claude, with a pang which was always new and hard to bear. ”

“ Gertrude shook her head and laughed.
“I am very well content with my teacher,” she said.
“And as a general thing, I have been very well content with my pupil,” said Mr Sherwood, looking grave. “I should like nothing better than to teach her still.”
“Charles, is it decided? Are you going away?” asked Mrs Seaton.
“Yes, I am going; and the sooner the better, I suppose.”
“If one could really be sure that it is best for you to go,” said Mrs Seaton, with a sigh. “But it is sad that you should go alone, perhaps to be ill among strangers.” ”

“ Sometimes he was content to sit for hours in the shadow of the locust-tree near the window, or in the pleasant cedar walk at the other end of the grounds. Sometimes he was permitted to walk a little while on the lawn; and in a few days the dawning colour on cheek and lip was hailed as a hopeful sign of returning health.
Christie grew quite satisfied with her new place, and devoted herself to her little charge with an interest that was untiring; and the increasing affection of the little boy made her service day by day more pleasant to her. ”

“ In the pause that followed, Christie, with a strange feeling at her heart, pondered the words.
“Well,” said Aunt Elsie, in a moment, “I dare say it is as well that you have these thoughts to encourage you. The Bible can do nobody harm, at any rate; and it may do good to the bairns at the school.”
Mr Craig opened his lips, as though he were going to answer her; but he did not. By and by he said—quite as much as though he were speaking to himself as to her:
“Yes; it is indeed a good thing to have God’s promise to fall back upon. My work would be vain and weary work without that. ”