Mary S. Watts

“ My niece Helen is a self-reliant and adventurous spirit; she will undertake to go anywhere, serene in the assurance of ultimately getting somewhere, either to her appointed place, or, as she is fond of saying, to some other just as good. For myself, as I am equally fond of saying, I want to go where I want to go. But, unfortunately, there never was a person so totally unblessed with any sense of location; I am of those who get up in the night and fall out of the window or down the backstairs. ”

“ A great actor was lost to the world when Pierre elected to spend his life leading tourists about Valmi. We understood without further words. They had buried them alive.
The palace stood on an eminence dominating the view to land and sea for many miles; and, on one side, the ground sloped away steeply to the shore; so steeply that, perching on the ruinous old palace wall, we could see, in a rift between the houses, a stair plunging down, which, Pierre said, led to a place they called the Quai Reine-Marguerite. ”

“ Pierre was not; Pierre did not do anything. What should such a man as that do? Sometimes, it was true, he showed people about the city; and he had known Pierre to take eh, whatever they wanted to give. For, do you see, madame, you cannot hurt people's feelings by refusing. Pierre would not do that; Pierre had a great soul. Eh, but yes, he was a man, that Pierre! He knew every stone of Valmi and could tell you stories as long as this whip. Vlà! Go on, then, sac-cr-red sons of thunder!
"All nonsense!" said Helen vigorously. "They play into one another's hands all the time. ”

“ If I'm any judge, it's forty times more respectable than the Rue Saint Lazare, where he took you the other day, where the pawnshops are. Half the houses are shut up and empty; you don't see any people. It's as quiet as Sunday-at-the-farm. There's a kind of dump in one place where the citizens do considerable landscape-gardening with garbage and dead cats—but that's nothing, you see that right in the principal streets. I guess the Health Inspector don't get around oftener than once a day in Valmi. ”

“ And when, at length, we reached Valmi, long after dark, the aspect of its steep, tortuous, ill-lighted streets was so bewildering, and the points of the compass shifted about with such appalling infirmity of purpose, that Pierre (had he known it) was as good as engaged before, we were set down at our hotel door.
"Only for a few days," I pleaded, in response to Helen's jeers, "until we get used to the place. Then we can dismiss him. Besides, Baedeker says tourists are obliged to hire a guide for the old palace; it's not safe to wander about the ruins alone." ”

“ So they knew there had been a miracle, that the Blessed Virgin and the saints had come down from Heaven and saved the girls and delivered Valmi. Then they built the Gate, and here it stands to-day, to prove what I tell you. And, for another proof, they say, sometimes about the midsummer, like this, on a foggy night, the Virgins come down from the Gate and walk this way on their old march. Tè! I have known two, three, who have seen it!"
"Pipe-dream!" said Mr. Weingartner, rising. But I think he gave Pierre some money. ”

“ Around him hung, stood, or lay in heaps on the floor old brass bowls and cups, old needle-work delicately yellowed, old carved furniture, old swords and bits of armor, old pottery of shapes and colors to make a painter throw up his hat and rejoice. In the background the dealer agitated vainly with a stiletto (dated 1560 on the blade) in one hand, and a brass hunting-horn, its smooth curves wound with faded green silk cord, in the other. ”

“ There's hardly ever any tourists even, except one or two like yourselves. They've got Rip Van Winkle beat a block.' Pe-air's chairman of the committee on entertainment; he's a natural-born pirate, that fellow, if he had a little more get-up-and-get. He had to see about getting the baggage here and billed to South America and way-stations. Every time anybody got within shouting distance of that Gate, Pe-air pretty near threw a fit. They worked at night, mostly, and Paducah says they kept the Virgin outfit on hand to scare off any townspeople that might come along. ”

“ King Louis went away to the Crusade, and all his knights and nobles with him, so there were only women and little children and old men left in Valmi. The city had a stout wall then, and nobody was afraid. But after a while a wild, roving king came down from the North with many long black ships, and bearded fierce men—they were Danes, madame, I do not know if you have ever heard of Danes in America. They drank blood, as I have been told. The king's name was Eohric. ”

“ I had to fall back on the time-tested saying: "Men may die and worms may eat them—but not for love!" He would get over it.
The immediate result of our enforced seclusion this afternoon was a profound study of the guide-book on Helen's part. And before very long she unearthed some interesting particulars. "Why, look at this," she exclaimed. "We've been missing something worth while all this time. This must be the place Mr. Weingartner is always talking about. It's starred in Baedeker, and it sounds attractive. ”

“ Helen stiffened into a cardboard dignity; but a respectable middle-aged woman may overlook some conventions. I said, "Yes."
"I'd have known it anywhere, by your looks," he said candidly, "but I saw your names on the hotel-book this morning. I'm staying here, too. I guess there ain't any other tourists here, it's such an out-of-the-way place. I'm one of Cook's. These tourist parties ain't such a much. The way they go around sort of puts me in mind of Christian Endeavorers, at home. ”

“ Pirates, robbers, smugglers?"
"You've missed," he said, chuckling. "Nope. At least, you might call 'em smugglers, but not the brandy and kid-glove kind. I guess the bottom dropped out of that business seventy-five years ago. Nope. You'd never guess, if you lived to be a thousand, and guessed every minute of your time. Why, those were real, live swords they were carrying, and some of 'em had guns with ammunition, cartridge-belts, navy revolvers on the side. ”

“ The idea was, they were finally to get it all together in the cellars under that old Gate and have it ready to deliver when the steamboat came along. When Paducah was telling me all this, I says, 'Well, why in Sam Hill did they pick out Valmi? Couldn't they get terminal facilities anywhere but here?' 'Why wouldn't they pick out Valmi?' says he. 'Look at the town—look at the people—ain't they all dead ones? It's the safest town this side of the pearly gates. ”

“ The one-sixteenth of the populace that hasn't revoluted yet is getting ready to, and some guy over here is staking 'em to the munitions of war. They've got to keep it dark, you know; if the French. government or their own got wise there'd be a dickens of a time. Paducah told me about it. You notice I'm not mentioning any names. That wouldn't be quite square. Paducah's all right; he's one of these fellows that kind of floats around and gets into everything. ”

“ In the end, the old men sent word to Eohric that he could have the young women. For, you see, madame, somebody must live, there were children to grow up, and—and—there would, after a while, be more young women. ”

“ And after this epigrammatic deliverance, she added, "He's slangy, for one thing."
"Every one that has any respect or affection for the English language is slangy at times——"
"Oh, you always can say something like that!" said the girl, with contempt. "It's really not as clever as it sounds. You know he's slangy. He's—the—limit I What are you laughing at, now?"
In my serious moods I felt sorry for our poor countryman. For, whatever she thought of him, it was plain that he was very much taken with Helen. Anything more hopeless could not well be imagined ”

“ They keep right on talkin' after they've quit thinkin', and they quit early. Our agent picked out Pe-air for the likeliest man to run the Valmi end of the business. They had to have somebody, you know. The idea was that Pe-air was to have so many heelers at so much per. Well, then, what does Pe-air do but get together the star collection of thugs and strong-arms; you never see anything like 'em outside of Joliet, Ill. I was plumb disgusted when I see 'em,' says Paducah. 'I ain't any use fer 'em, but I can't help myself. I'm up against it, as here-in-before stated. ”

“ A very high, wide Virgin detached itself from the multitude, and, advancing, remarked huskily:
"Don't shoot, cap. You and th' ladies air as safe as—as the Democratic majority in South Ca'lina. If you git to sloshin' 'round with that there gun, the p'leece'll git down on us, and then th' whole thing'll blow up. That's what Pe-air's trying to tell you."
Mr. Weingartner, without removing his aim from Pierre, spoke out of the side of his mouth:
"Can vou talk their hinky-dink?" ”

“ He brought out a neat, nickel-plated cylinder about six inches long, with a pear-shaped bulb at one end. "Just try to open that, will you?"
I tried in vain, while Helen strolled around the shop, glowering helplessly. He took it from me with a smile and snapped the bulb end open and shut several times. "See. That's how. It's to hold the twenty-five-cent size bottles," he explained, "and, when it's closed, you can throw it across the street without breaking 'em. Good idea for traveling, hey? That's Pe-air outside, ain't he? The diligence-driver wanted me to hire him, but I said not any ”