Moses Swan

“ Can a mistaken person change his or her ways till the mind is changed? Could the blind man whose eyes Jesus opened see until there was a cure wrought by the Divine Redeemer? Could Saul of Tarsus, desist in persecuting the church till his mind was changed, for he said he "verily thought he was doing God service?" And so like Paul I labored under the mistaken notion in my weakness, that I should be lost forever, yet I was a firm believer in the truth ”

“ Whoever complained against me or believed me a proper subject for such a lunatic asylum, was as greatly mistaken as I was in regard to my future happiness; ten years I was conscientiously mistaken, they might have been; our Saviour said first pull the beam out of thine own eye then thou canst see more clearly to pull out the mote that is in thy brother's eye. Many there are who know their neighbors in their own estimation better than they know their own hearts. ”

“ Again, I have seen Anderson many a time whip him upon his naked flesh, with strap B, till his flesh was red as a piece of raw beef, and harnessed and put him to bed as heretofore. But, says one, as did another to me, perhaps he needed whipping. God forbid! No more ought a lunatic to be whipped, or abused, than the fond mother's infant child that creeps to and paddles in the water-pail, carelessly left by her upon her nice carpet. ”

“ Money is the root of all evil, and I fear the prayers of many stockholders connected with lunatic asylums are like the prayers of an aged doctor in Vermont, who said to me, in times of health: "I wish there were more sick." ”

“ Although I may not have the gift of a poet, and may not have the gift of prophecy, neither be as good as John the Baptist, yet I can truly say, like Paul, I have been beaten for Christ's sake, when bound in the Ida Hill Lunatic Asylum.
It is not a pleasant task for me to reveal the faults of others, more particularly those of [92] the dead, yet when I realize how many are robbed of their liberty and lives, my soul is stirred within me, in behalf of poor sufferers in these institutions. ”

“ In early life the spirit of the Lord strove with me, when but a child the tears of penitence would steal down my cheek in my wakeful moments, and I can say as did Paul, "I was alive once without the law, but when the commandments came, sin revived, and I died." ”

“ This attendant was a carpenter or mechanic of some kind; was a tall, lean, bald-headed, cruel-hearted man. His stay was short; negro Lawrence was too strong for him, as I saw them in a tussle; but a child could handle a strong man when harnessed tightly with the asylum harness.
A soldier of the last war, after listening to one transaction and seeing the asylum harness, told me how he was tortured when a prisoner in Libby prison, bound in chains and almost starved. I have seen so much of human nature I believed him. A fool can lead a horse to water but he cannot make him drink. ”

“ I was upon my knees, ashamed, and could not pray my nice prayer. I quickly arose from my knees and ran for bed, leaving my friends to say their own prayers, covering [21] up my head in bed, with shame, to rest for the night." I would here remark, if any there be who are now feeling they need to pray, come to Jesus and ask him to give you that faith which works by love and purifies the heart, and he will teach you to pray in spirit and in truth, and you will not be ashamed nor confounded. Here one passage of Scripture comes to my mind, and it is this: "Man know thyself." ”

“ And when I was taken to the incurable house, Alfred and Thomas Haly, formerly patients, whom I shall speak of in future pages, became my attendants. These men had been self-abused; Alfred was a drunkard; the others were something else—they also knew how to abuse others; give such low, degraded men the keys, and a little authority, and their word is law, and they are lord of all. Such men govern within.
After suffering more than ten years in this institution, I graduated on the 13th day of October, 1870. ”

“ Presently we came in sight of the old brick small-pox house, which is used as a branch asylum, or incurable house, to stow away poor unfortunate victims like myself. As we came to the south [70] door we were met, not as at Endor by the great whore of Babylon, but by the great maiden Isabel Anderson, who bound me, as seen in the engraving.
The attendant now asks the Magdalene Isabel, "Where shall I put him?" "In the room where there is one man," said she. Up one flight of stairs we went, turning to the right. ”

“ For me to undertake to describe this asylum fully would be useless; to say the least it is a monster, and answers to the bottomless pit, I saw in my vision; beneath my window was a pit or yard, with from fifteen to twenty men; some bound; some up, and some down; some with naught but their shirt, and some with none—burnt to the quick by the rays of the sun. In this asylum hell I learn, by hearsay, there were five hundred patients, besides the bull-dog. I suppose [130] the club attendants were reckoned in the number, at least the lunatic barber was, most assuredly. ”

“ Lawrence, bound to his bed and handcuffed, singing and whistling, although he was bound with an asylum harness such as I am exhibiting around the country in public. I was afraid of my life; he was a wicked, self-abused young man. ”

“ I am aware that there are many innocent ones who are suffering in these institutions who are proper subjects for a prayer-meeting and not for a penitentiary. There are many received into these lunatic asylums that are more fit for State prison or penitentiaries than places like these, and these are they that cause so much bloodshed, as did Haly and Mrs. Anderson, in my case, being appointed attendants by the government of the asylum.
I have stated that about the time the civil war broke out I was placed upon a hall near the dining-room, the patients in this hall were more quiet at times. ”

“ But we are not a family without faults. In early life I became sensible that I was a sinner; when but ten or twelve years of age the spirit of the Lord strove very powerfully with me, and from time to time I grieved its gentle influences from my heart, saying, like Felix, "go thy way for this time," promising, that when I had a more convenient season I would seek the salvation of my soul. ”

“ Men are very apt to know their neighbors better in their own estimation than they know themselves. First pull the beam out of thine eye.
Self-examination and the study of human nature is a great work, I think, if I have the right estimate upon them, having studied myself and others, having the Scriptures in my mind more than forty long years, as the scale whereby to discern between right and wrong, truth and error ”

“ The 29th of August I was persuaded in part and compelled to go to Brattleborough, Vt., Lunatic Asylum to [9] undergo a course of medical treatment. I was brought home by Brother B. the last of November, nothing better; staid home through the winter with my little family.
Although I had staid four months in this so-called Vermont cure-all institution, I still crossed the green mountain toward my longed-for home in low spirits and sadness. Cheerfulness is natural to the strong and healthy, and despondency and gloom are usually the indirect consequences of some physical ailment. ”

“ How mistaken are many who visit this place. Once there was a smart appearing genteel looking man walking through this hall who remarked (looking into a side room) , "if I was sick I should rather be here than home." Thought I, poor deluded man you know but little about this place. In that same room I had lodged, upon the bed was a nice white spread, under the spread, to all appearance, a soft bed, but it was not so, deluded visitor. Would you like to be in that room to-day and be treated [59] as one poor man was in the hands of two doctors and their attendant? ”

“ Whatever might have been the great design of the good Lord in my case, I can say, with Paul, our light afflictions, which are but for a moment, work out for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory. ”

“ George Wadsworth, his wife and mine, were shown into my room by Isabella, when in came the male attendant and Isabella made an excuse for showing them to my room. I was lying in bed, in low spirits, weak and discouraged. I asked no questions about friends or home. I knew Wadsworth and his wife Lotty, although I had not seen them in four years. For a person to be visited in a prison, especially by acquaintances, is not very pleasant and to be left is harder. ”

“ He was cured of fits in the Marshall Lunatic Asylum, Ida Hill, Troy; N. B., not by medical skill, but from torture and such maltreatment. The orphan died in the darkness of night, with no one to smooth his dying pillow, or wipe the cold sweat from his brow. Lying as I was, within two feet of the orphan's body, sleep departed from my eyes till morning, when in came Anderson with the dead board. Bacon, Noals, Anderson and another carried him from my sight. ”

“ TROY LUNATIC ASYLUM INCURABLE HOUSE.
In this house I lay more than nine years, like persons at home; many a time nigh unto death.
In the summer of 1870, I had a long fit of sickness. My wife, my brother B., and brother J. were sent for, and informed I could not live long. During this sickness I [132] was very weak; and, strange as it may seem, it is nevertheless true, my bowels became indisposed, and moved not for thirty-two days. I was under the treatment of Dr. Lomax. As the cool weather came on, I finally recovered. As I gradually grew strong in body, my mind strengthened. ”

“ I have just been speaking of things that transpired in 1816, and, as it is true that one thing leads to another, my mind is called to think of my beloved parents, and the early trainings they gave their children; the beloved words of our Saviour is, "train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." ”

“ Some have gone to their long homes; and it is through the mercy of God that I am spared to make manifest things that I have seen and heard in this institution, and labor for the good of the poor.
"In a large house are many masters," so says the Bible.
At the present day lunatic asylums have become very popular; and it is granted by many that this Ida Hill Institution is well [49] cared for, having twenty-six governors, and half as many doctors, to overlook, and a committee to inspect, and supervisors to visit. All this may be true. But where are these duty-bound men? ”

“ He has been kept as attendant and bully fighter many years. He was married to Isabella, the magdalen attendant, and when united it seemed as though [116] there was nothing so daring or cruel at times that they could not do. And yet, when my wife came, they seemed so nice and talked so soft it seemed that butter would not melt in their mouths, as the old saying is.
The devil says many fine things to bring about his designs and purposes, so do his children. The Lord keep me from such a government as the incurable house of the Troy lunatic asylum, and all others that I know any thing about. ”

“ There is a chapel in the main house of the institution where prayer is wont to be made. But what is that to one shut out, more than the passing look of the priests and levites who passed by the wounded man who went from Jerusalem down to Jericho and fell among thieves; so I fell among thieves on Ida Hill and was wounded and passed by.
I shall now leave this part of my narrative and speak briefly of the Vermont State Lunatic Asylum at Brattleborough, and the treatment of a few of the inmates. ”

“ I visited, not because I had any antipathy against the governors of this institution, doctors or inspectors. But I visited out of pure motive, for often the words of the Saviour came to [53] mind, "The poor ye have always with you, and when you will you may do them good." On one of my visits to the asylum, I remarked to Dr. Lomax, "You have got a nice theater, now," said I, "you need one more house, separate from noise, to keep the quiet patients in." Although my advice may not be heeded, I suffered much for want of sleep by being disturbed by noisy inmates. ”

“ Previous to this date the good Lord and Saviour having often called me by the gentle influences of his gracious spirit, now, upon this 29th day of August, 1831, gave me faith sufficient to encourage me to ask him to be my friend and pardon and forgive my sins.
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Faith is the gift of God, and without it no man can please the Lord. Faith is brought about to sinful men oftentimes by the moving of the holy spirit which guides into all truth. ”