Sarah Johnson Cocke

“ Is dat de way you speaks ter yo’ ole Mammy?”
“I says, yes, ma’m.”
“Well, gimme de ribbin!—but what you wanter tie er bow on er dog’s tail fur? Folks puts bows ’round dey necks.”
“But I want ter fool Bray, and make him think this is his head.”
“You’se er sight, you is! Who on earth but you’d er thought er tryin’ ter make er dog think es tail was es head! Nev’ mind! Yer bett’r take keer dat he don’t play er wusser joke on you, like ole Sis’ Cow, an’ Sis’ Dog, an’ Sis’ Sow, an’ Sis’ Cat done ter ole Miss Race Hoss when she try ter pass off one er her jokes on dem!” ”

“ The writer to this day could not under any temptation bring himself to touch a spider or sleep in the dark and somehow feels that life will not be entirely complete without a chance to even up with the female Senegambian who filled his mind with weird stories Saturday nights and prepared him for religious service Sunday mornings. ”

“ Blue Bot’le say: ‘I ain’ nuv’r see sich er time in m’ life! De rich fokes done stretch wire ov’r de vit’als s’tight dat dey ain’ nuthin’ fur de po’ flies ter do ’cep’n ter starve.’
“Grab-All say, ‘Dat’s de trufe, Brer Blue Bot’le, an’ I feels s’ sorry fur yer dat I’m gwine give you an’ yo’ fambly all de vit’als yer kin eat.’
“Bot’le Fly so glad he gwine git sumthin’ fur nuthin’, dat he fergit ter ’member how raskilly Grab-All wus, an’ whin he do ’member ’bout hit, he think he gwine keep his eye op’n an’ git de fus’ lick. ”

“ One night on de dark er de moon, Big Eye start out ter meet de buzzards. He got fo’ hosses, an’ two cows, an’ er pass’l er birds. Big Eye, he wus jes’ er takin’ in de money I tell [Pg 210] yer. He can’t see hit, but he kin feel uv hit, an’ he know dey darsn’t ter cheat him. But Johnny Squinch settin’ up on er lim’ jes’ ov’r his haid,—he kin count de money, yassuh, ev’y cent uv hit, too. Dey ain’ no eyes kin see like Johnny Squinch’s, ’speshally whin dey’s lovin’. De nex’ day, Majer Peafowel fly up ter Pine Tree Holl’r ter see Mist’r Mount’in Fowel ’bout whut Johnny tell him. ”

“ Brer Bar git mad den an’ he stop laffin’ an’ say, ‘Yo’ chilluns ain’t de onliest uns got pig in ’em! All youall got it, too. Ev’ybody got it. Some folks got mo’ en uthers got; all dis hyah mann’rs you’se braggin’ ’bout ain’t nuthin’ but er kiv’r ter hide de pig dat’s in yer. Keep er way fum de pigs ef you don’t wanter show yo’ pig side.’
“WID DAT DEY ALL UV ’EM LOSE DEY MANNERS
AN’ START TER ’BUSIN’ BER BAR SCAND’LOUS”
“Wid dat dey all uv ’em lose dey manners an’ start ter ’busin’ Brer Bar scand’lous. ”

“ Grab-All, he run ’roun’ like he tryin’ ter hope ’im out, but he jes’ spinnin’ de web tight’r so Inch Wurm nuv’r is ter git out no mo’.—He got ter starve ter death, ’caze he’s in Grab-All’s way, an’ Grab-All gwine see nobody doan come ’roun’ dar ter hope ’im neeth’r. ’Cose he doan mine Miss Lightnin’ Bug passin’ de time er night wid him, ’caze she can’ do nuthin’ mo’en ter bright’n ’im up er lit’le,—but he keep his eye on her, too. ”

“ He lope out an’ run home, he do, an’ he bark at Mister Man an’ run out to’ards de road. He bark’ at de lit’le boy an’ run out ergin; but none uv ’em can’t make out howcum he act so cur’us. He run out in de back yard an’ howl an’ bark, an’ de lit’le colt ax him whut ails him, he tell ’im Billy’s mos’ chok’d ter death, hangin’ on de pastur’ fence. De colt give er jump ov’r de back fence an’ him an’ Ned take out, jes’ er t’arin’ down de big road. ”

“ Yas, suh, Shoo Fly tell Hoss Fly he sho’ gwine perish ef he doan git er bite fum sumwhars.
“Hoss Fly ax ’im: ‘Is yer skeer’d ter go in Miss Lucy’s house fur vit’als?’
“Shoo Fly say, ‘I ain’ feerd er no Miss Lucy—I bin buttin’ m’ haid up ’ginst sum’in’ nuth’r in de wind’rs, tell m’ haid right full er bumps.’
“Hoss Fly say, ‘You ain’ got no sense, Shoo Fly,—’cose you can’t git in dat wire foolishness! De onlies’ way ter git in, is ter set up on de porch, an’ wait fur sum de fokes ter op’n de do’.’
“Dat peart’n Shoo Fly up moutily, an’ he say he gwine dat minit, an’ he do. ”

“ An’ all de men fokes is des de same, tell dis day! ev’y Lord’s blessed one uv ’em! When Sis’ Cat see she done turn Billy’s head plum roun’ she tell ’im not ter tell Ned Dog erbout de party, ’caze Miss Turkey Hen say she ain’ got ’nuf room but fur des one uv de fambly. Den, when Sis’ Cat heah Ned Dog er comin’, she lit out, ’caze she nuv’r want ’im ter know dat she had enything ter do wid Brer Bar eatin’ Billy Goat. ”

“ Big Eye know dey’d run him clean off’n Tinker Knob ef dem fokes see he git his livin’ off’n der mis’ry. Nex’ day hyah he come flyin’ back wid er big bunch er fun’al flow’rs wid ribbin streamers flyin’ ev’y which er way. Fokes wint ter de fun’al jes’ ter see de flow’rs. Ev’ybody talkin’ ’bout de gran’nes’ er Mist’r Mount’in Fowel, an’ how he ’tend all de berryin’s, doan keer who ’tis. An’ bimeby he git ax’d ter be er pawl b’arer ter all uv ’em. ”

“ Nobody can’t make me do nuthin’ my mine ain’ sot on doin’, an’ enybody kin hitch up dat high steppin’ Race Hoss, an’ make ’im plow er do enny sort’r thing whut dey pleases. Yas,’ he says, ‘I got mo’ sense dan Race Hoss, an’ bless de Lawd, ef I doan b’leef I’m bett’r lookin’, too!’
“Mist’r Tom Cat ain’ say er thing, he jes’ keep er stretchin’ his claws, waitin’ fur Jack Donkey ter git plum full er hisse’f. ”

“ Miss Lucy, she sot dar an’ mos’ fidgit herse’f ter death, whin Shoo Fly light fus’ in de gent’muns vit’als, den up on his nose. De man breash ’im off his nose er heap er [Pg 146] times, but Shoo Fly g’long back ev’y time, ’caze hit wus er nice place ter wash de greese off’n his face an’ han’s. An’ ev’y time he git coffee er ice cream, er enny thing on his foots, he g’long back ter sumwhars on dat man’s face ter wash his han’s, an’ wipe ’em on his coat tails. Miss Lucy say she know de man think she got er million flies in dat house. ”

“ Tishy car’in on so, busin’ one an’ lovin’ t’other, dat he make up his mine he gwine lay er trap an’ see ef Big Eye ’ud fall in hit. Long ’bout dis time, Big Eye ’gun ter long fur de vit’als he bin rais’d on, an’ ev’y time he set an’ sell dem dead an’mals ter de buzzards, his mouf dribble so dat he ’termine he gwine tas’e er lit’le ef hit kills him. He done hit too, an’ whut’s mo’ hit tas’e so good, he tas’e hit ergin, an’ whut’s mo’ en dat, he slip out ev’y night an’ take er good bate er car’on. ”

“ Dey ain’ nuthin’ mo’ dangersum ter er fly’n yo’ ma,” she looked him straight in the eye. “She got all de wind’rs fas’n’d up so yer can’t shet er bline; an’ she got dat sticky pap’r you sets in ev’ytime yer goes in de kitchin; an’ she got dem pisnous flow’r boxes settin’ ev’ywhar; an’ she run ’roun’ all day atter one fly, hittin’ ’bout de house like de fly wus pis’n, sho’ nuf. Miss Lucy’s er sight, dat’s de trufe, an’ I doan blame Shoo Fly fur busin’ her.” ”

“ Phyllis shook her head. “Dem wimmen hens doan git nuthin’ but whut dey scratches fur,” then thoughtfully she added: “Cose all roosters ain’ ’zackly erlike. Dey’s er few, but recoleck I says er pow’ful few, dat saves mos’ ev’ything fur de hens an’ chickens; den der’s some uv ’em dat saves right smart fur ’em; den der’s er heap uv ’em dat leaves ’em de crum’s, but de res’ er de rooster men fokes doan leave ’em nuthin’, an’ de po’ things hatt’r scratch fur der sefs.” ”

“ An’ I tell yer Pine Tree tellin’ de trufe, his boy know der fambly bleege ter have wat’r ter live on, an’ he ain’t gwine take no stan’ in dis woel he know he can’t keep up wid. De trees dey talks ’bout him mouty bad at fus’, but he don’t pay no ’tenshun ter ’em, he jes’ mine [Pg 184] his own biznes’, an’ bimeby he git big ’nuf ter look on de top uv all ’em.”
“Did he look down on the top of Mist’r Wise Oak?” broke in Willis.
“Tall Pine so high an’ straight hisse’f, he ain’t thinkin’ ’bout de top er nobody’s haid. ”

“ Miss Queen say: ‘Hit’s all right ter mix up wid de flow’rs, ’caze dat’s biznes’, but de res’ er de woel kin g’long whar dey’s er mine ter.’ Miss Queen totin’ her haid pow’ful high dese days, ’caze dat gum’s full er honey an’ she ain’ owin’ nobody er cent. She say she ain’ got no use fur nuthin’ ’cepin’ biznes’. Dey g’long ter bed mouty biggity, an’ feelin’ pow’ful rich, but ’long in de night er bad old man come an’ take’n ev’r speck er honey in de [Pg 296] gum. Miss Queen think she done dremp er nightmar’, but whin she git up in de mawnin’ sho’ nuf dey ain’ got er Lawd’s bite er brekfus’. ”

“ Willis pointed across the street to a peacock in full expression of his feathered pride.
Phyllis went to the window and exclaimed, “You sho’ly ain’ callin’ Majer Peafowl, dat ugly ole Tishy?”
“You said Tishy was fine and pretty,” reminded Mary Van.
“She wus, tell Mist’r Mount’in Fowel tu’n out ter be nobody but er ole low down buzzard. I tell yer dat gal act so scand’lous dat all her purty feath’rs start ter drappin’ out, ’caze she act so ugly on de inside, dey [Pg 220] wusn’t nuthin’ ter hole de purty on de outside.” ”

“ Mist’r Race Hoss say long as he’s in pol’ticks an’ want ter git ’lected ergin ter be ruler er de beastes, he speck she bett’r ’vite Sis’ Sow. So Miss Race Hoss say all right! An’ she done it.
“Oh, I tell you Miss Race Hoss fix up er fine party! She had mouses fur de cat fambly, an’ dey wus nice, fine, live mouses too, an’ bones an’ meat fur de Dog fambly, an’ hot bran mash mixt wid cott’n seed [Pg 97] meal fur Sis’ Cow’s fambly, an’ she had buttermilk in er big trauff fur Sis’ Sow an’ her chilluns. An’ she pile apples, an’ carrots, an’ ev’y sort er thing in de middle er de table. ”

“ Dey come er runnin’ an’ none uv ’em ain’t nuv’r stop ter pass howdy wid Miss Race Hoss, ’caze dey [Pg 99] smell de vit’als, an’ dey ain’t got nuff manners ter hide de pig in ’em. Dey come er rootin’ an’ er gruntin’ all ’roun’ b’hime folks an’ b’fo’ fokes, tell dey pass too close ter Sis’ Cat’s chilluns, fur dey sorter raise up dey backs an’ bushy out dey tails, an’ raise up dey paws, but Sis’ Cat she sorter growl sof’ an’ dey passify deysefs an’ sets still. ”

“ Ole man Gully wus de biggites’ creetur’ you ev’r seed; he jes nachilly so biggity he ’fuse ter do er lick er wurk. Plantin’ time er harves’ time ain’ make no diffunce ter ole man Gully. He set up on his front po’ch an’ smoke his pipe, an’ read de newspaper an’ eat same es one dese ole buckshire hogs, whilst his old lady, an’ de chilluns, an’ der ole nigg’r Abe, done all de wurk. ”

“ Dey fit dat ve’y day; an’ whin hit git too hot fur Miss Eve, she take an’ jump on top er ole man Elerphant’s back ’fo’ Mist’r Rattlesnake cud git her. He try ter crope up ole man Elerphant’s legs, but Elerphant keep his foots wurkin’ s’ much, an’ his snout flyin’ roun’ s’ tur’bul, dat Mist’r Rattlesnake hatt’r keep out’n de way. Miss Eve she set up an’ laf’ at him, an’ dat make Mist’r Rattlesnake so mad, he rip an’ tar’, an’ fome at de mouf, an’ mos’ turn hisse’f wrong side out’ards tryin’ ter hop up an’ bite Miss Eve. ”

“ Nem’ine whar de hants is terday. I’m talkin’ ’bout de rooster telerfome. Yer see Peter’s rooster’s settin’ up in rooster heb’n keepin’ his eye out fur all de news. He nuv’r do go ter sleep reg’lar; sometime at [Pg 29] night he sorter nod er lit’le, but he nuv’r do git in bed, caze he feer’d Mist’r Sun wake up ’fo’ he do. Well, whin he heah ole man Sun gap loud, an’ turn hisself ov’r an’ scratch, he know he fixin’ ter git up, an’ dat minit he flap his wings an’ telerfome loud es he kin ‘de break er day is c-o-m-i-n’’ (imitating the rooster) . ”

“ Big Eye tell his pa he ti’ed soshatin’ wid de low down buzzards dat lives on Dead Man’s Mountain, an’ he done make up his min’ ter greeze his feath’rs an’ shave de top er his haid like de ball eagle, an’ move ov’r ter Tinker Knob whar de fus’ class birds lives at. ”

“ The children needed no further description of Aunt Polly, for they knew a visit from Miss Tilly meant their banishment, as well as the strictest injunction to yea, yea, nay, nay, whenever they chanced to meet her.
“Yas, suh,” she unfolded her quilt pieces and prepared to assort them on the table, “An’ Polly talk er nuf wurds ter Tishy dat day ter set her plum on fier wid madnes’. ”

“ Abe he go an’ shoo de roost’r in de room, but he can’t make him fly on de baid. Abe he tiptoe an’ wave his han’s sof’ like b’hime him, but de rooster [Pg 50] run und’r de baid an’ cackle, an’ cluck, an’ make so much fuss dat de boys wanter run him out, but Miss Gully say he talkin’ ter her. She answer back ter him, ‘Yas, suh,—dat’s right,—yas, suh, I’m gwine do jes like you says.’ She keep er gwine on dat erway er long time, tell bimeby she tell Abe ter go git lawyer Clark ter make her er will. She say de ole man say she got ter give him all de money, dat de chillun’ll spen’ hit ef she don’t. ”

“ Bill done sin, an’ he got ter be born’d ergin, thu suf’in an’ mis’ry. Howsumev’r he foll’rin’ de studdy light er dat glow wurm, so ’tain’ long ’fo’ she show him er tree on t’oth’r side dat wus smooth an’ [Pg 73] strong, an’ Bill tu’n loose er de bush an’ grab holt er de tree—Bob Wind he come an’ hope de tree ter lif’ Bill up,—an’ Bob give one er ole man Harricane’s blows dat take Bill clean out’n de mirey clay, an’ lan’ him on de rock. ”

“ Dem bare legs er his’n right full er bees. Mist’r Man, he run an’ start ter smokin’ de bees, fas’ es he kin, an’ bimeby, atter er long time, de Bee boys goes back ter dey ma.”
“Mammy, you tell Miss Queen Bee to tell John Mocking Bird to eat old Grab-All up,” pleaded Mary Van, putting her arms around Phyllis’s neck.
“Ain’ I done tole yer Miss Queen ain’ [Pg 294] gwine ax nobody fur nuthin’, an’ she ain’ gwine give nobody nuthin’ neether? She tell her chillun ter scuf’le hard an’ make er heap er honey, an’ den hit doan make no diffunce whut happ’n. ”

“ A fresh burst followed, which Phyllis strove to quiet. “Hyah, eat dis nice butt’r’d biskit Mammy bin savin’ fur yer.” Willis pushed the bread away. She coaxed, “I speck ef you eats er lit’le, an’ thows er lit’le out yond’r ter ole man Roost’r, he’ll git in er good humor (like all de men fokes does [Pg 25] whin dey eats) , an’ he’ll telerfome ter Miss Churchill’s roost’r dat he jes foolin’ him, an’ Miss Churchill’s roost’r’ll keep de wurd passin’ erlong dat way tell all de roost’rs’ll know our ole Shanghi jes pass er joke off on you.” ”