Stephen McKenna

“ I have always said that I would not stir a finger to interfere with my boy Will, or any one else of that age, where the heart was concerned. They, for all their inexperience, must be the ultimate judges; the wisdom of instinct and so on and so forth. The responsibility on an outsider is too great even for advice; and the advice of a mother to the son who adores her... There is such a thing as having too much power put into one's hands. I don't say I'm right; but, if Will married a girl whom I considered the most unsuitable person in the world... ”

“ If I didn't love a girl, I might cheerfully marry her for her money; but, when I do love her, I couldn't bear to have people even hinting such a thing. You told me that she had four thousand of her own; when I can go to her father and say that I'm making more than that—clear profit to my own pocket—, I shan't be afraid to look any one in the face. But I've not asked her to wait for me; and, if in the meantime she meets any one that she wants to marry more, no one will ever hear me complain. ”

“ When once a man is "Morning-Posted", as he would say, all other fancied claims dissolve into thin air... The mere sight of the Morecambe post-mark in those days sent my heart into my mouth, and I could see that the strain of this persecution was telling on his nerves. "Ann Spenworth," I said to myself, "you must make up your mind; if he wants to marry Phyllida, you must not stand in the way." ...
All my life I have shrunk from the responsibility of interfering with the destiny of a boy and girl in love. The relationship is too delicate, the consequences are too grave. ”

“ I felt that some such thoughts must be passing through Spenworth's mind every time he said: "The fellow's not coming to-night. Can't some one persuade that child to have some food instead of giving herself a chill?" Brackenbury and Ruth, too, were beginning to doubt and to look very much concerned. If the young man had sheered off, they would never forgive themselves for allowing the unhappy girl to make such an exhibition of herself... In my heart of hearts I knew that Colonel Butler could be trusted as I would trust my own son. ”

“ I am easily satisfied, I ask for nothing better than a little music after dinner. If only the rising generation were rather less self-conscious... When I was a girl, it was a law of the Medes and Persians that, if any one asked us to play or sing, we at once complied. None of this modern absurdity of not playing in public, insisting on the hush of the grave, looking round the room first to see if by chance there is some great maestro present... ”

“ If poor Ruth wanted her to throw herself away on a penniless surveyor, she might have told her that simplicity was the note to strike. Phyllida won't think for herself, and Ruth is incapable of thinking for her. Good gracious! at dinner the child sat between Colonel Butler and my boy Will; I don't encourage any girl to become a minx, but no man thinks the better of you for throwing yourself at his head. A little distance, a little indifference; until a man's jealous, he doesn't know he's in love. ”

“ He had asked her to dine with him on reaching London, they had met three or four times, Arthur had begun giving her little presents. How much one can ever believe of such a woman's story I do not profess to judge. She vowed that their relations were innocent, that her husband's death had left her heart-broken and that she was simply and sincerely grateful to any man who shewed her a little kindness; in that class I gather it is only natural for every girl to have some benevolent elderly protector who takes her out to dinner and gives her little presents. ”

“ You will understand me, too, when I say that no one could have called it a very suitable alliance—for him or for her; it is no kindness to a girl to transport her from her own world, though—poor souls!—they all fancy that, if they can achieve a great match, they will be happy, and the rest will come by the light of nature. Goodness me, have we not seen that tragically disproved with Ruth Brackenbury and Kathleen Spenworth? ”

“ I have never been forced to study the methods of campaign which a woman adopts for such a purpose. No doubt she tried first of all to attract him innocently. Whatever success she had, poor Will is not free to marry where his heart leads him, unless his heart leads him where there is some money (I have always, as you know, dreaded an entanglement with some girl whom he would simply have to support all his life) ; and Will is too honourable to give any encouragement to some one he has no intention of marrying. ”

“ Of course, when I reached home, I found that I had only got rid of one trouble to make way for another. Arthur... He would have been even more furious if he had been less bewildered, but, as it is, I try to forget and I shall certainly not remind him of certain things that he said about my going to work behind his back, taking decisions over his head. When one has grown attached to a house... Is it not my frame and setting? Is not every corner filled, for me, with memories of the old days when the princess almost lived with us? ”

“ It is no secret to you that she has been disappointed through fancying herself in love with a man who could never have been a suitable husband for the Earl of Brackenbury's daughter. We have to be kind to her; and, if I know anything of girls, you will find that one who for the moment feels forlorn and uncared-for will repay the affection of him who can overcome her sense of loneliness and convince her that the whole world is not indifferent to her happiness. ”

“ On those rare occasions when you meet somebody who can talk, is it not heart-breaking to have the conversation interrupted before you have half finished it? In the old days, when one turned like an automaton to one's other-hand neighbour half-way through dinner, it was sufficiently exasperating; but one did hope that, if one had not wearied one's companion too unwarrantably, he would come up in the drawing-room and resume what he had been saying. Nowadays dinner is little more than a bribe offered to so many women and men to induce them to play bridge with you rather than with some one else. ”

“ It is curious—one has seen the same thing a thousand times between mothers and daughters, but men always pride themselves on being unpetty—; Arthur is really jealous of his own son. If Will and he are left together for any time, Arthur becomes a different man, querulous, impossible to please. With his directorships and his clubs and his journeys to and fro, my husband—as you must have seen—does not give me very much of his society; I am left to support the burden of domestic empire single-handed, but, when Will is at home, I am glad for Arthur to be away. ”

“ And there, in the peace and wonderful sunshine, one had an opportunity of recovering one's perspective. I had tided Arthur through his great crisis; and there was nothing, I felt, to fear in the future. But we could not let it rest at that. There had been an intolerable amount of malicious gossip—how wide-spread I could not believe until the proof was thrust before me—; men jesting in their clubs, women gloating... And you may be sure that the Brackenbury and Spenworth broods were only too delighted to think that yet another had been dragged down to their level ”

“ What business of theirs if my husband humiliated me? And, strangely enough, one has so often seen it with other women and somehow always fancied that it would never happen to oneself. The swan-song... As a man feels that his youth is slipping out of his grasp, he makes this one last despairing effort. And love at that age is like a blow from a sledge-hammer; Arthur was prepared to run away with the woman. Indeed I know what I am talking about. Then, I felt, it was time for me to intervene... ”

“ It is more a question of character than of income. And Arthur had his share of good looks, as you can see from Will. No! Whatever Spenworth did, he could always buy indulgence. Establish for yourself the reputation of "a good fellow"—whatever that may mean—; and you will walk on roses all your life...
One must assume that he thought the marriage would be a success, but I am sure no one else did. I knew Spenworth, you see. It is ancient history now, but it was only when I destroyed his last hope by marrying Arthur that he turned in desperation to Kathleen Manorby ... ”

“ We have seen to our cost that the most devoted husband and father may sometimes go apparently quite mad... I feel that Phyllida, with her youth and her looks and her money, is being so shamefully wasted...
But, until she shakes off her obsession, I should pity any man who tried to marry her. At one time my boy Will seemed attracted to her out of compassion for her loneliness and misery. Those were anxious days, I can assure you, though I should have been glad to see Will safely married to almost any one. He is undoubtedly of an age; and what I called "the Morecambe menace"... ”

“ The cynic cannot see that one's principles are independent of personal considerations. If they ever have the ill fortune to coincide even in appearance... Indeed yes! I happen to know what I am talking about... Forgive me if I spoke sharply; but one's nerves are not of iron, and it is not pleasant to be charged with conspiracy by the members of one's own family. Oh, not Spenworth! We have hardly met for years, I am thankful to say, though my husband has more than once tried to bring about a reconciliation. ”

“ If we only have the carriage to ourselves... I often say that a first-class ticket is the merest snare and delusion; during the war it has exposed one to a new order—I've no doubt they are very brave and so forth and so on, but that sort of thing ought to be kept for the trenches. One doesn't want to travel with it, one certainly doesn't want to live with it...
At least I don't. There's no accounting for tastes, as my poor niece Phyllida has been shewing. You are going to Brackenbury, of course? Every one does by this train. ”

“ It was brave of you to tell me, to insist on my knowing... and believing. I was dazed. That Arthur should be giving her dresses and jewellery, when he could not afford to redecorate his wife's house... And apparently it was the common talk of the clubs; and no doubt kind friends were secretly pitying me... The last infatuation of the middle-aged man—they were telling one another that I was six years Arthur's senior—and what could you expect? As if I had made any secret of my age! ”

“ You are making a great experiment and taking a great risk; you, and you alone, can crown it with success. When you both ask me to divorce my husband, I shall take the necessary steps; but I shall do nothing hastily. Perhaps, when you have been with him for a time, you will find that the difficulties are greater than you anticipated—or, let me say, that success is harder of achievement than you hoped. I ask only one thing: do not force yourselves into an extremity from any false pride. ”

“ I sometimes feel that romance has gone to the head of some of our girls; first of all, a man had only to be in uniform, then he had only to be wounded... I liked Colonel Butler, but in the old days Phyllida would not have looked at him... And, goodness me, if you go back a generation, you can imagine what my father would have said if a man, however pleasant, with nothing but his pay and the clothes he stood up in... A soldier only by the accident of war... And in a regiment one had truly honestly never heard of... ”

“ You have always had the cranks who claimed that a woman had as much right to choose a husband as a husband to choose a wife; and now girls like my niece Phyllida say that, with the general upset of war, a little money frightens a man away and, if you want him to see that a difference of means is not a real obstacle, you have to take the first step. ”

“ She was prattling away, but I thought it time to make one or two enquiries. I remember saying to poor Ruth—I forget in what connection; life is one long succession of these needless, irritating little encounters—I remember saying that Phyllida was in the position of a girl with no mother. It's not that Ruth and Brackenbury aren't fond of her, but they take no trouble... ”

“ Naturally one would like to see the choice falling on some one in his own immediate world; but times are changing, and it would be regarded as old-fashioned prejudice if one made too strong a stand against the people who really are the only people with money; or against a foreigner... But this is all rather like crossing the bridge before one comes to the stream...
Lying here, very much depressed, I wanted to make provision for the immediate future. Now, would you say I had taken leave of my senses if I suggested that I had some claim on Brackenbury and Spenworth? ”

“ To cry for Spenworth one day and for her Captain Laughton the next... I use the word literally; if a single day passed without her seeing him, she moped—for all the world like a love-sick girl who thinks her sweetheart is tiring of her. And when they met...
I have told you that people were beginning to smile, and that should have been humiliating enough to a woman who has achieved at least a dignity of position; one said that there was nothing in it, but that had no effect. Anything connected with divorce seems to breed a morbid curiosity ”

“ While he was still undecided about his career, I was reluctant to part with the house in Mount Street, though for many years it had really been too expensive for us. One grows, indeed, to love one's own vine and fig-tree, and the place was filled with associations. Did I ever tell you that the princess was good enough to say that, in coming there, she always felt she was coming home? ... With Will gone, the place is a white elephant; and I cannot flatter myself that any little niche I may occupy makes me indispensable to the life of London. ”