Various

“ That afternoon when first you burst Upon my quite bewildered eyes, I seemed in London; you are too Confusing in that strange disguise.
The very clothes of blue! It's true In black kid gloves you are arrayed, No truncheon at your side you hide, A sword is openly displayed. ”

“ Cissy—everyone calls him Cissy—seems to be a little particular, not to say fidgetty.
Baby Beaumont heard him say to his valet, "Take away that eau-de-cologne—it's corked." He seems to think himself ill, though he looks blooming; and says he has neurasthenia. He's always going through some "course," or "treatment." One hears him cry to the footman who hands him a forbidden dish, "Good Heavens, my dear man, don't offer me that—I'm under Jowles!"
We wanted to act The School for Scandal, but Cissy has persuaded us to get up a burlesque of his own—Red Riding Hood. I am to be Red Riding Hood!!! ”

“ Then the strong man, Burnsiwatha, Hurled their language back with interest, With the breathing of his nostrils, With the tempest of his anger, Hurled it back on his assailants. Said Tom-Mann was feather-headed, Said the rather wild Keir-Har-Di Was no better than a "bounder." ”

“ Mr. Stanley Weyman, author of A Gentleman of France and Under the Red Robe, has not as yet, excellent as were both those works, written anything so powerful, so artistic, so exciting, and so all-engrossing (no further participles or adjectives wanted at present) as My Lady Rotha." This romancer has the rare talent of interesting his reader as much in the action of his crowds as he does in the fortunes of his individuals. He is the Sir John Gilbert of the pen; and the Baron cautiously expresses his opinion that My Lady Rotha is not so very far off Ivanhoe. ”

“ In ignorance it may be, The rôle of Rhadamanthus you would try, With scarce the fitness of a bumptious baby. With folly's headlong haste you would rush in Where well-tried wisdom treads with fear and trembling. ”

“ Baby declared he would be a Proud Sister. In vain he was told there were no Proud Sisters in Red Riding Hood; he seemed to have set his heart on it so much that Cissy has written one in for him. Now Baby is happy, designing himself a gorgeous frock, and passing hours in front of a looking-glass, trying various patterns against his complexion. All the strength of the piece falls upon Cissy, who plays the Wolf, and has given himself any amount of songs and dances, lots of "serious interest," and all the "comic relief." ”

“ Humanity is a most complex thing, Not simple as a gag or feeding-bottle. You, lest it stray, would rob it of its wing. Lest it feed ill would simply close its throttle. The Puritanic plan in a new guise!— A female Praise-God-Barebones now would rule us. ”

“ There's the interests of the firm to consider, and it's not for me to take a lower place than I'm given. But it's only for a night or two, and you don't really suppose I wouldn't rather be where you are if I was free to choose—but I'm not, Emma, that's the worst of it!
Phill. Well, go back to the Drawing Room, then; don't keep Lady Rhoda waiting for her liniment on my account. I ought to be in my ladies' rooms by this time. Only don't be surprised if, whenever you are free to choose, you find you've come back just too late—that's all! ”

“ We had had sixteen rehearsals when Lady Taymer suddenly horrified us by saying it seemed so much trouble—why not give it up, and if we wanted a little fun, black our faces and pretend to be niggers!! Of course, we would not listen to her. I hear Captain Mashington rehearsing his part every morning, quietly, in the billiard-room. He never can remember the lines
"Good bye, my dear, now mind you're very good, And shun the dangers lurking in the wood." He thinks the mother ought to kiss Red Riding Hood before she starts. I think not. We asked Cissy. ”

“ Firm as a statue on its plinth 'Midst the vertiginous labyrinth Of circus, street and bridge you stand, And rule the storm with calm, unarmèd hand. Rarely our soldiers of the law Do Themis' awful truncheon draw, Their Orphic whistle sùbdue can All save the crew of Hooligan. Though western Jonathan prefer A force not vainly claviger, Yet Bayard, taught in English ways, That suaver regiment must praise That trusts to moral weight and nerve And keeps the bludgeon in reserve. ”

“ Spurr. Me? Write a book—about cutlets—or anything else! Emma, you don't suppose I've quite come to that! Andromeda's the name of my bull-dog. I took first prize with her; there were portraits of both of us in one of the papers. And the people here were very much taken with the dog, and—and so they asked me to dine with them. That's how it was.
Phill. I should have thought, if they asked one of you to dine, it ought to have been the bull-dog.
Spurr. Now what's the good of saying extravagant things of that sort? Not that old Drummy couldn't be trusted to behave anywhere! ”

“ Surprise profits are made by all Investors who trust us with their balances, so that a swinging amount always stands to their credit. We have never yet received a check. Our Customers come to Order, but they never go to Law. ”

“ Practical jokers are they, every one of them; Their laughter my poor tympanum sorely tasks, But I'll be hanged if I can see the fun of them! LETTERS FROM A DÉBUTANTE.
My Dear Marjorie,—You remember Cecil Cashmore? Of course no theatricals could be a success unless he took the entire management. He is a celebrated private performer, and his name is frequently seen in "Amateur Dramatic Notes," where he is freely compared to Coquelin, Arthur Roberts, Irving, and Charles Kean, in his earlier manner—I mean Charles Keane's earlier manner, not Cecil's. ”

“ He asks me, for the sake of the past, to try and get him a stamp of the Straits Settlements, in exchange for a Mauritian.... She collects stamps too—it must have been the bond of union.... How fickle men are! It's enough to disgust one with human nature. ”

“ Spurrell (to himself) . I must say it's rather rough luck on that poor devil. I get his dress suit, and all he gets is my booby-trap! (Phillipson, wearing a holland blouse over her evening toilette, approaches from the other end of the passage; he does not recognise her until the moment of collision.) Emma!! It's never you! How do you come to be here?
Phillipson (to herself) . Then it was my Jem after all! (Aloud, distantly.) I'm here in attendance on Lady Maisie Mull, being her maid. ”

“ But a more rusty, sluggish, wheezy, wobbly, jerky, uncertain, stick-fast, stodgy, unwillin' lot o' wax figgers I never did——Well, there, it tries a conscience of injy-rubber to crack 'em up and patter of 'em into poppylarity, blowed if it don't!
Kim up, Dook! Dashed if 'e don't look as if 'e fancied hisself the Sleepin' Beauty, and wanted to forty-wink it for another centry. Look at the flabby flop of 'im! Jest as though 'e wouldn't move if 'is nose wos a meltin'. Large as life, and twice as nateral? Wy, a kid's Guy Fox on the fifth o' November 'ud give 'im hodds, and lick 'is 'ead orf—heasy! ”