Various

“ What a shame to keep those poor soldiers out there all by themselves; they don't have any fun, and they only get in the way of the others when they turn round. Oh, look at them now—they're all coming straight at us, and waving their swords! ”

“ What a charming Surprise it is, to a Man who has looked to his Bicycle for Two Hours' Peace and Liberty a Day, to come down on his Birthday and find that his Wife and his Mother-in-Law have taken Lessons in secret, and will henceforth go with him always and everywhere! ”

“ Must go somewhere into the sunshine at once. Brighton is near, Brighton is shadeless, Brighton under the June sunshine is hot. The very place. Shall now at last electrify the world. Go down by an evening train. Somewhat crowded. Whitsuntide, of course.
Sunday.—Glorious morning. Blaze of sunshine. Brighton is not an inspiring place for a poet. Walk along asphalted parade. Extremely hot. But that is just what I want. Still Shelley and the others did not advocate softened asphalte, to which one's boots almost stick. The beach is the right place. ”

“ Speaking at a luncheon held in Newcastle the other day in connection with the Trinity Presbyterian Church, he declared that "nothing had ever charmed him more than to observe at the luncheon that day the marvellous ability, but much more the marvellous unanimity and Christian fellowship manifested by the Nonconformist bodies." I doff my cap to the man who can infer not only marvellous unanimity and Christian fellowship, but also marvellous ability from his observation of bodies at luncheon. ”

“ A Goose that had miss-spent a long life, and, in addition to being old and ugly, was of a sour, ill-natured disposition, in despair of rendering herself any longer agreeable to her male acquaintances, conceived the desperate design of emancipating her female friends. ”

“ They have resolved that they "respectfully desire that the Gorsedd will see its way to concur in the subject for the chair being in any metre, and not restricted to an awdl. The Committee are aware that the awdl has antiquity and custom in its favour, but, while calculated to develop skill in metrical composition, the local Committee feel that the necessity of composing in the form of an awdl is fettering to the conception and imagination." I cannot say what an awdl is, but I am dead against fetters, and, therefore, I say, down with the dastardly, fettering awdl. ”

“ Monday.—Again blazing sunshine. Hotter than ever. This must bring on the D. A. if anything would. Again lie on beach. More crowded than yesterday. Some of the people seem friendly, and to be interested in my experiment, for they address me and advise me to get my hair cut. Could this possibly be advantageous to admit the D. A.? No. Shelley and the others wore their hair like mine, not cropped like a convict's. Tell this to my new friends. They laugh. I become angry. Then they tell me to keep my hair on. Curious instance of the vacillation of popular opinion. They go away singing. ”

“ Nature, indeed, is "all of a piece." In politics, as in optics, the "Ultra-Red" lies beyond the "light-giving region," though, as Science says of its "gamut of invisible rays," they are perceived "by their heating effects." ”

“ Years ago favourite subject with artists was "the finding of the body of Harold." Sir Edward has found body; Cowen clothed it. Albani is its life and soul. Composer conducted. May probably be heard again this season; so no more at present.
OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.
My Baronite, constitutionally credulous, on reading the earlier works of John Oliver Hobbes, accepted the masculinity of the author as put forward on the title page. On reading The Gods, Some Mortals, and Lord Wickenham (Henry & Co.) , he begins to doubt. ”

“ We live and learn. I have been eating plover's eggs for years without the least suspicion that the poor harmless mother-bird had been shamefully watched through binoculars by a keeper in search of shillings. ”

“ The "Oppidans," or Town Boys, could not possibly be metamorphosed into Gown Boys—at least so writes to us
The Tug of Warre.
Good Evans!—The Daily Telegraph reported "The Heroism of a Lady." The act and deed was that of Miss Evans, of Hythe, near Southampton, who, after rescuing a man and a woman from drowning, plunged in again, dived, and rescued a girl, who was sinking for the third and last time. The girl saved will ever gratefully remember Miss Evans as the lady who "brought her up by hand," and in finishing her education she will not neglect the extra-accomplishment of swimming. ”

“ However good-tempered a composer may be, yet when he wants to write an opera he cannot get on without "having words." No time left to give full criticism on Harold, which achieved sufficient success to satisfy composer and librettist ”

“ There are boundless possibilities in John Oliver Hobbes; but she should turn her face more persistently to the sunlight. Dr. Warre and Allegra are so good and so pleasant, that the average reader would like a little more of them, and a little less of the almost impossible Mrs. Warre.
The proper study of mankind is man, and there could not be an apter tutor than Mr. ”

“ AT A YEOMANRY REVIEW. Scene—An open space near Baymouth, the watering-place at which the County Yeomanry have been going through their annual training. Along one side of the ground is a row of drags and other carriages, occupied by the local magnates; along another, the less distinguished spectators stand in a thin line or occasional groups, waiting for the review to begin. In the centre, the inspecting officer is judging the best turned-out troop, while the remainder of the regiment are doing nothing in particular. ”

“ And there's the old chap (without the song) , and he is consoling him.
Ang. (after a glance at her playbill) . Yes, because they are father and son. (The Fourth Act passes, and she explains to her husband that Marguerite has been playing at cards, and that Armande is very angry with her.) That's why he throws money at her.
Edwin. Rather a cad—Armande.
Ang. Oh, no. You know we must not judge foreigners by an English standard. (The last Act commences.) You see, she is very ill. That cradle covered with rugs is her bed. ”

“ I can't get on without Female Society, you know!"
THE SHAHZADA ON THE THAMES.
"You will assist," quoth Mr. Punch to Toby, "in giving the Shahzada a cheery welcome on board the P. and O.'s Caledonia. And these," continued Mr. P., handing Toby a packet and a purse containing untold gold "are your secret instructions."
"They shall be faithfully obeyed," replied the ever-faithful Toby ”

“ He shall write as he likes, in what metre he pleases;
And he faces his Gorsedd, and vows he won't dawdle
A manacled slave in the train of the awdl.
After this it seems somewhat bald and prosaic to read that
On the recommendation of "Hwfa Mon" (the Archdruid) , "Eifionydd" (the registrar) , "Cadvan," "Pedrog," "Gwynedd," and "Dyfed," of the Gorsedd Committee, who stated that the subject chosen for the arwrgerdd (heroic poem) , for which a prize of £20 and a silver crown is offered, was unsuitable for an arwrgerdd, the subject was changed, "Llewelyn Fawr" being substituted for "St. ”

“ So the boat was stopped at Greenwich, and the Shahzada, with Toby, debarked. Great cheering.
* * * * * *
8 P.M.—Telegraphic Message from Toby to Mr. Punch, Fleet Street.
Cannot come to dinner. Shahzada and self enjoying tea and shrimps. All gone—except the shrimps. No money returned. Did it for one-and-ten, shall pocket difference. Shahzada says best entertainment ever had. See you later. Larks.
Toby.
THE WARS OF THE ROSES.
(A Sheffield Cricket Song, by a True "Tyke.") ”

“ The Studies cover a wide range, but the subjects are all, in diverse fashion, interesting. One is struck with the extreme fairness of judgment displayed in dealing with men who stand so far apart as, for example, Mr. ”

“ But they don't seem to come off over the trotting.
"'Twas onfortunate fur Garge, him bein' th' only man as fell arf."
Capt. C. Not quite; the leaders don't keep their distance, so the men can't keep up. ”