Various

“ He should be tall,"—her eye fell on Briggs—"he should be handsome,"—still on Briggs—"he should be graceful, he should be athletic."—At this point her eye seemed fairly to feast on Briggs, and a curious lurid light lowered in it. She paused a moment. I was sitting next to Briggs, and I felt a shiver run through him. I looked at his face, and it was ghastly pale. I asked him in a whisper if he felt faint? He impatiently motioned me to be silent, and remained, as I thought, like a bird paralysed beneath the gaze of a serpent. ”

“ Then, amid the greatest excitement, Boat Club got in front and won by a canvas." A stroke oar who can row a race at nineteen to the minute all through is steadier but certainly less versatile than one who can spring suddenly from the rate of seventeen to the rate of forty. ”

“ Angelina (to herself) . How nasty of Edwin! He must have felt them inside.
The Magician (to Edwin) . Verri nice sna-akes; but where is my monni? (Edwin shakes his head helplessly.) Ah, dis Inglisman too moch plenti cheat. (He seizes Edwin's nose, from which he extracts a shower of shillings.) Aha! Verri goot Inglis nose—hold plenty monni!
Angelina (as Edwin returns to her in triumph) . No; please turn your head away, Edwin. I can't look at your nose without thinking of those horrid shillings; and oh, are you quite sure you haven't got any of those horrid snakes up your sleeve? ”

“ Even in aquatic matters Ireland is a country of surprises. In the Eight-oared race the other day for the "Pembroke Cup," there was a dead-heat between the Shandon Boat Club and the Dublin University Boat Club. In the row-off, the Irish Independent says that "Boat Club caught the water first, but after a few strokes Shandon forged in front. After the mile mark, Shandon were rowing eighteen against the Boat Club's nineteen or twenty. In the next three hundred yards Boat Club dropped to seventeen, the others being steady at nineteen all through. ”

“ Oh, it's too hot to think of food. I'm not in the least hungry—are you, Belle?
Belle. No; I'd ever so much rather see the Burmese dancers and the Indian conjurors. I don't want to waste the best part of the evening over dinner; we might have some of that nice Indian tea and a piece of cake by-and-by, perhaps, if there's time. ”

“ All bus-drivers and conductors should wear silk hats, to typify the habitual softness of their address. Why not put them into livery at once? The company that did that would probably attract no end of custom. No revolution like it, since the abolition of the box-seat! Uniform charges and uniformed conductors should be the future rule of the road.
"Not Kilt, but Spacheless."—At Clonakilty Sessions the other day, the following evidence was given ”

“ Briggs and I went to hear; went in light laughing mood with little fear of any consequences. We listened to the O'Gress. "There is no doubt," she said, "that Man was intended by Nature to be the Father. For this high calling he should endeavour to fit himself by every means in his power. He should cultivate his body so as to render himself attractive to Woman. ”

“ Mendelson in the Long Jump. Mr. Mendelson, who comes to us from New Zealand, has not only done a fine performance, but he has also jumped into fame. It is at any rate obvious that it is quite impossible for him to represent his University in the High Jump, for
With a musical name (though he varies the spelling) ,
This youth from New Zealand is bound to go far.
He couldn't jump high, since (it's truth I am telling)
No master of music e'er misses a bar. ”

“ She understands French very well. Seems to think a lot of me because I know something of several languages. Ask her if Captain Cholmondeley was fond of learning languages. Am prepared to hear that he was a second Mezzofanti. On the contrary, it seems that he couldn't speak a word of anything but English, and that he didn't speak very much that was worth hearing even in that. The only French he could understand was in a menu. Apparently he never read anything else in any language, except the sporting papers in English. ”

“ We'll go and do the Kinetoscopes and the Phonographs, have a look at the Great Wheel, and some shots at the Rifle Range, cross over and take a turn on the Switchback, finish up with a cold-meat supper at Spiers and Pond's, and a stroll round the band-stand, and, by the time we've done, we shall have got a very fair idea of what India's like! ”

“ No bite, verri moch nice sna-ake. (He plays a tune to them; one listens coldly and critically, the others slither rapidly towards the edge of the platform, to the discomposure of spectators in the front row; the Magician recaptures them by the tail at the critical moment, ties them round his neck and arms, and then puts them away, like toys.) ”

“ Meetings are being held all day long at the principal hotels, and any number of livery-stable-keepers have promised to lend their carriages on the day of election. The agents on either side have an enormous staff of assistants, and trade was never known to be brisker during the present century. ”

“ But there's worse behind. What do you think Joseph did when he heard I wasn't all together pleased? He offered me a statue! Said he'd no doubt Akers-Douglas could pick up on reasonable terms an old statue of Napoleon; with a little touching up it would serve, and there was a place ready on the site proposed for Cromwell's. There was, he said, well-known picture of Napoleon Crossing the Alps. Why shouldn't there be a statue of Boltonparty Crossing Marylebone Road, North Pancras? This is man's gratitude! ”

“ Everything seems for sale here, my dear. Just the place to get a nice wedding-present for dear Emily. I want to give her something Indian, as she will be going out there so soon. What are they doing in here? oh, glass-blowing!... See, Jane, this one is making glass bangles.... Well, no, Emily would think it rather shabby if I gave her a pair of those. I might get one apiece for Cook and Phœbe—servants are always so grateful for any little attention of that sort—though I shouldn't like to encourage a taste for finery; well, it will do very well when we come back.... ”

“ The story, if not precisely pleasant, is decidedly powerful. Once taken up, there is uncontrollable disposition to read on to the end, a yearning the size of the volume makes it possible conveniently to satisfy. ”

“ Conservatives to the right; Liberals to the left. Stupendous, far-reaching change; one of those rarely happy events that please everyone. Hearing what people say, it is difficult to decide which the more pleased, Liberals at being turned out, or Conservatives at springing in. On Ministerial side happiness marred in individual cases by being left out of the Ministry.
"I'm getting up in years now, Toby," said The Markiss, "and I've had pretty long experience in making up Ministries. But I assure you I've been staggered during last week, including in special degree the last hour. ”

“ Not, we need hardly say, an "old age" pension. Perpetual youth is the prerogative of all Punches. And they "have appointed his son as his successor." Well, of course! How can a Punch do anything but succeed? ”

“ The more offices assigned, the narrower becomes the basis of operation, and the more desperate the rush of the attacking party. You'd be surprised if you saw the list of men who have asked me for something. ”

“ He advocates "the immediate nationalisation and socialisation of railways, mines, factories, and the land, with a view to establishing organised co-operation for production and distribution in every department under the control of the entire community. There should be a minimum wage of thirty shillings a week in all State and Municipal employment, as well as in State-created monopolies." ”