Various

“ For truly it is in the nature of fruit-trees, whereof, without undue vaunting, I may claim to know somewhat, that the birds of the air, the tits, the wrens, ay, even unto the saucy little sparrows, whose firm spirit in warfare hath ever been one of my chiefest marvels, should gather in the branches seeking for provender. So in books, and herein too I have some small knowledge, those that are of the ripest sort are ever the first to be devoured. ”

“ Then mother's old tom-cat, Trouncer, slowly rising, stretches his limbs, and bares his claws, making ready for what is to come, but not, me-thinks, with much alacrity for the conflict, for rats have teeth, as Trouncer knows—ay, and can use them to much purpose. Therefore Trouncer, making belief to be brave, as is the custom both of cats and of others that walk on two legs, and have thumbs to their fore-paws, gathers himself to the spring, but springs not. Then comes GIRT JAN's terrier, Rouser, at last—where hath the terrier been tarrying? ”

“ Each to his own fashion, say I, and the fashion of the TIDDLERS hath always been in a manner plain and unvarnished, like to the large oak press wherein mother stores her Sunday gown and other woman's finery such as the mind of man, being at best but a coarse week-day creature, hath never fairly conceived. But lo! I am tarrying on my way, losing myself in a maze of cheap fancies, while the reader perchance yawns and stretches his limbs as though for bed. All I know is paper and ink are cheaper than when I began to write. ”

“ As we are the sole surviving specimens of Norwegian nobility, suppose we sustain our reputation as aristocratic sparklers by enlarging upon the enormous amount we have eaten, and chaffing HIALMAR EKDAL, the friend of our host's son, for being a professional Photographer? ”

“ Your father, peppered her out shooting, and we saved her life.
Hialmar. Yes, GREGERS, our estate is not large—but still we preserve, you see. And my poor old father and I sometimes get a day's gunning in the garret. He shoots with a pistol, which my illiterate wife here will call a "pigstol." He once, when he got into trouble, pointed it at himself. But the descendant of two lieutenant-colonels who had never quailed before living rabbit yet, faltered then. He didn't shoot. ”

“ My father has had to take to strong glasses, too—he can hardly see after dinner. (To Old EKDAL, who stumbles in very drunk.) How can you, Lieutenant EKDAL, who were such a keen sportsman once, live in this poky little hole?
Old Ekdal. I am a sportsman still. The only difference is that once I shot bears in a forest, and now I pot tame rabbits in a garret. ”

“ Though, when he's asked his favourite name, a man is apt to stare, he
Must answer, if he knows what's what, "My favourite name is MARY."
And this:—
The vice I detest and abhor above all
Is not dancing four times with you at a ball. ”

“ Your old min is not friendly. Yet he set me up as a Photographer fifteen years ago. Now he takes me down! But for him, I should never have married GINA, who, you may remember, was a servant in your family once.
Gregers. What? my old College friend married fifteen years ago—and to our GINA, of all people! If I had not been up at the works all these years, I suppose I should have heard something of such an event. But my father never mentioned it. Odd! ”

“ As long as the strong right arm of the Corsican Brother can draw a good and shining rapier, he will draw as good and brilliant a house as he did on the first night of this revival. Why ought this piece to go well in the first theatre in Ireland? ”

“ I propose calling this valuable little instrument (which is founded to some extent on the simple construction by which the figures in a child's box of wooden soldiers are enabled to advance and retire in a scissors-like fashion) , when produced, the Policeman's Upper Floor Window Tapper.
The day for the hearing at length arrived, and, armed with a mass of carefully selected information, I was in my seat ready to defend the originality of the Nore Napkin Ring, so to speak, to the death. ”

“ Fact is, majority absent with influenza. Some seventy or eighty of us have formed House of our own; meet regularly at usual hour; get through business in a way that would astonish the residuum left at Westminster; and jog off comfortably for dinner. All Parties and all sections of Party represented. SPEAKER and Chairman of Committees still stick to Westminster. ”

“ Fate, that makes sport alike of peasants and of kings, turning the one to honour and a high seat, and making the other to lie low in the estimation of men, though haply (as 'tis said in our parish) he think no small beer of himself, hath seemingly ordained that I, THOMAS TIDDLER, should set down in order some doings wherein I had a share. ”

“ May "opt" for one day, you're unable to say, and in vain you appeal to Authority.
The Law of the Land is a labyrinth grand, which you can't understand, nor can anyone,
And that is a thought, with delirium fraught, an appalling, if 'tis not a penny one. ”

“ It was a Patent Case, and one of the deepest possible interest. It is my good fortune to know the Defendant, personally, and it was through his kind offices that the instructions to appear for him were left at my chambers. My friend and client (who is unjustly said to be eccentric in his habits) has recently patented and produced a most important invention, which greatly facilitates the retention of dinner-napkins, after those useful, nay, necessary articles have been used for the purpose for which they are manufactured. ”

“ There's plenty of "go" in it, but will it "stay"?
Great attraction at the Lyceum! The Corsican Brothers and Nance Oldfield! ELLEN TERRY as Nance is delightful. Chorus, Gentlemen, if you please, "For—all our fancy, Dwells upon Nancy!" Our ELLEN is charming in this, so natural and so theatrical: herself as Nance, and then as Mrs. Oldfield, the actress, in the characters that Nance assumes. For 'tis ELLEN playing Nancy, and Nancy again playing Tragedy and Comedy. It is an old piece revived: there never was so old a piece, for there are only four characters in it, and they're all Old. ”

“ A small dose of them, taken occasionally the last thing at night, may be confidently recommended to admirers of The Opium Eater, and will probably be found of considerable value to some who hitherto may have been the victims of insomnia. ”

“ Change for Thirty-Five Shillings.
There is a singular directness of purpose in the following advertisement which appears in the Daily News:—
REPORTER (27) , now on Weekly, WANTS CHANGE. 35s.
The advertiser not only wants change, but he mentions the exact sum. It seems odd. One often wants change for a sovereign, and even oftener wants the sovereign itself. But what precise coin a man hands you when he wants thirty-five shillings change is not quite clear.
[pg 247]
IN A MAZE.
MASTER LAND BILL. "OH, MR. BALFOUR, I'M SO TIRED!" ”