Various

“ One of the Leaders in The Times.
The publication of the book of a comedy in a theatre may be thankfully received as a present help to the audience, and an aid to memory afterwards, or it may be considered as a protest on the part of the author who says, "Here's what I have written. See how they act it: whether it be farce or comedy, judge for yourselves. You pay your money, and you take your choice." ”

“ For instance, JULES CLOQUET, as early as 1845 was using Hypnotism in the cause of painless surgery. However, our pleasant little gathering can do no harm."
"Perhaps not," acquiesced Savant No. 3. "Although it is only right to remark that had we had Dr. COLEMAN's knowledge, we should have possibly considered it qua Committee a trifle superfluous."
"Do you not think we ought to visit the Aquarium?" asked the first speaker. "I am told that there is a Hypnotist who appears there twice a-day, and whose exhibition, from a scientific point of view, should be decidedly interesting." ”

“ In the Christmas Numbers of the numerous picture-papers it is at first rather difficult to discover which is the genuine article illustrated, and which the advertisement, likewise illustrated. In the outside picture of the Christmas Number of The Penny Illustrated Paper, which represents a couple dancing together, I am not yet quite sure that the handsome Hebraic gentleman, dancing with a fair Anglo-Saxon girl, is not assuring his frightened-looking partner that "Epps's Cocoa is Grateful—Comforting," as stated in the paragraph immediately beneath the aforesaid picture. ”

“ At the meeting (at Birmingham) of the National Union of Conservative and Constitutional Associations, a resolution in favour of "considering the claims of women to be admitted to the franchise when entitled by ownership or occupation," was carried "by an overwhelming majority, amid loud cheers." Mrs. FAWCETT afterwards said, "What new forces were they (the Conservative Party) prepared to bring against the anarchy, socialism and revolution which were arrayed against them? ”

“ CUTHBERT BEDE's name is to a "Christmas Carol," and Mr. JOHN LATEY's to a dramatically told tale called "Mark Temple's Trial," in which the imaginary heroine pays a visit to a very real person of the name of Madame KATTI LANNER, whose pupils are represented as all assembled, with bouquets and posies, to do honour to the birthday of their "well-loved mistress," who is at the same time, "the acknowledged mistress of the choreographic art." In this story, the author is to be complimented on his invention of the name, "Lord Morgagemore" as an ancient looking and highly aristocratic Irish title. ”

“ The Right Hon. Gentleman will take his turn next week, and a report is current in interested quarters, that he as gone into training under the personal direction of Sir WILLIAM HARCOURT and Mr. JOHN MORLEY, who assist to support him whilst he rehearses his speech. This is a fantasy of disordered imagination. Mr. G. is in splendid form, spoiling for a fight.
A trustworthy Correspondent informs us that, owing to accidental displacement of his notes, a telling point was omitted from Lord SALISBURY's first speech at Birmingham. ”

“ Our sole Ideal conventional cant, our technique broad brown smudge.
And now BURNE JONES's pictures sell!!!"—here he writhed with a spectral twist—
"And our 'broad brown smudge' gives way to the fudge cranks call 'Impressionist.'
I've lost my head, as perhaps you mark—though I keep a ventriloquist tongue.
What's the use of a head to an Artist Ghost, who has never a chance to be hung?"
Chorus—Some of the Ghosts, &c. ”

“ Mr. FRED THORNE is capital as the Irish Member; and as Mrs. Hooley, an obtrusively Irish eccentricity of Thackerayan extraction, Miss ALEXES LEIGHTON is very good, for the character, as drawn by the author, is obtrusive, and is so meant to be. The Mrs. Egerton Bompas of Miss FANNY BROUGH is the woman to the life, and, in my humble judgment, Miss BROUGH's impersonation is well-nigh faultless. Whether, if the part of Egerton Bompas were played as high comedy, this would still improve Miss BROUGH's impersonation of Mrs. ”

“ The granting of women's suffrage would be against the disintegrating power of the other side, as women were everywhere anti-revolutionary forces.... This would add about 800,000 to the electorate. They would be, she believed, middle-aged women of property, than whom she thought they could not assemble more anti-revolutionary forces. ”

“ THE GOOD NEW "TIMES."
Nobody, after visiting Terry's Theatre, can apply to Mr. PINERO's piece the hackneyed phrase,—used apologetically by an unconscionable reader after detaining the leading journal for three-quarters of an hour,—"Oh, there's nothing in The Times," for, in Mr. PINERO's piece there is plenty of amusement, if not of absorbing interest.
The story is that of a parvenu, whose sole object in life, to be recognised by "Society," is thwarted by the marriage of his good-for-nothing son with the daughter of an Irish lodging-house keeper. The struggles of Mr. ”

“ My friends are legion, it is true, but they may depend upon me to do the best for all. Nothing on the gigantic scale I am now preparing has been seen or heard of in the Financial World since the days of the Flood, when NOAH's floating capital weathered the storm. ”

“ And, strange as it may appear to non-believers in Hypnotism, the Report, when published, was found to be an excellent advertisement for the Royal Westminster Aquarium!
SENILE FELINE AMENITIES.
"WELL, GOOD AFTERNOON—I'M GOING TO CALL ON MY MOTHER!"
"WHAT! YOU DON'T MEAN TO SAY YOU'VE GOT A MOTHER LIVING?" ”

“ THE SPHINX AND THE STICK. A Song wherein is suggested a suitable Subject for an Ibsenite Tragedy.
[Sir JAMES CRICHTON-BROWNE thinks that "the reserve and suppression of emotional movement which is observed in English people" will probably result in all the women becoming sphinxes, and all the men sticks.]
"Oh! do wag your head!" said the Sphinx to the Stick. ”

“ On their return to their private room, they seemed somewhat hostile to the pretensions of the Hypnotist, whose feats they had just witnessed—they preferred to his performances the feats of the Magnetic Lady.
"Quite a mistake," said one; "instead of taking off a leg, or showing the strength of a billiard cue, he makes men believe that they are swimming in a tank!" ”

“ Was founded with the object of investigating Ghosts!
Now Ghosts, the modern species, are of very various sorts,
For like some plants, as botanists say, they seem to run to "sports."
I used to think a spectre was a spectre, but I find
The "Psychical" can furnish Spooks of every class and kind.
Chorus.
Some of the Ghosts are little, some of the Ghosts are big,
Some come in the guise of a headless man, and some of a spectre pig. ”

“ So the King's subjects worked only twelve hours, and strange to say, quite as many black diamonds were produced as in the olden days. Then the workmen began to grumble once more, and the King again interviewed them.
"Do you still work twelve hours?" ”

“ And he got it, for the men worked harder than ever. And then they came yet again to him. Once more they considered the hours of labour excessive. They thought sixty minutes plenty.
"So do I," replied the Monarch, "not only plenty, but too many. But as it is scarcely worth while employing you only half an hour a day, I shall make other arrangements."
And from that time forth he brought up his black diamonds from the centre of the earth by machinery!
NOT "HALF A CHAP."—A well-known Clergyman, who "does nothing by halves." i.e., Dean HOLE.
"WHEN A MAN DOES NOT LOOK HIS BEST."—No. ”