Various

“ To see him as a muddler in a mess
Himself "disguising."
Then you yourself, my Grandolph! Blessings flow
From your bold eyes and trim moustache so tufty,
But why, sweet benediction, choose to go
So much in mufti?
When you to spot our blunders use those eyes,
And of our errors turn astute detective,
Whate'er the "blessing" may be, the "disguise"
Is most effective.
The "Union" Cause our Country's cause remains,
But oh! how long shall we remain its bosses,
If all our blessings come disguised as banes,
Our gains as losses? ”

“ With the dipparcher of Royalty the great charm of the nite was gone, the sun had set and the moon had not risen, to speak pohetically, but the recklecshun of the Blaze of Royalty that they had been alloud to gaze on, will last them for long ears and be told to children yet unborn as the crowning glory of their blessed lives. ”

“ An eccentric Opera. The first Act fresh as the newly-painted scenery: full of life, colour, and melody. It started well with a chorus which was unanimously and enthusiastically encored. Mme. Albani was never in better voice. Gayarré and Devoyod were excellent. The First Act was an undeniable success, and everybody was happy.
Then came the Second Act, all chorus, hops, and Poles. No Albani, no Gayarré, no Devoyod. Music pretty, but as Toby in the Essence of Parliament puts it, "Business done. None." Curtain down: people a bit scared. Not accustomed to an Act without Principals. ”

“ It was with great satisfaction that I received my orders to visit Aldershot on the occasion of the Royal Review, "to deduce from the display the exact position occupied by England amongst the Powers of Europe as a Military Nation." I felt that hardly a better man could have been chosen for the task. ”

“ Peers and Commons are Unionists in desire to know when the pic-nic will be over, or, as Bryce put it to-night amid cheers, "When will finally and positively terminate the unparalleled and undignified position in which the country is placed?" In Lords the Markiss disowned a capital retort the reporters invented for him. On Monday, Rosebery understood to ask whether Wolff was [Pg 36] supposed to be in a state of suspended animation what time the Sultan made up his mind. The Markiss reported to have replied that Wolff was "rather in a state of animated expectancy." ”

“ As I passed under the Gallery I seed one most charming Lady, drest jest like a Princess, acshally a sitting on the floor from fatigue, and her husband a watching over her like a garden angel, tho' he was a Feild Marshall! ”

“ Humour rose to highest level when he alluded to Jesse Collings as "the Member for Three Acres and a Cow." Henry James deeply offended at levity of Harcourt's tone. This last hit too much for him. Rose and quitted House amid hilarious cheers from Parnellites.
"That's the worst of these fellows."
"That's the worst of these fellows," said Mr. Leahy, looking on reflectively from the Bar. "Now they've begun to associate with gentlemen, our company's not good enough for them."
More speeches, including one from Parnell and another from Gladstone. But Grandolph's speech worth more than a division ”

“ I asked, note-book in hand.
"Oh, a mess-tent is as good a place as anywhere else if the cookery and wines are all right," was the only reply I received that had the slightest bearing on the military situation. Then my companions refused to talk of anything further save the racing fixtures for the following fortnight.
At Aldershot I found a number of omnibuses drawn up, labelled "House of Commons," which were soon occupied by elderly ladies, who appeared to be excellent representatives of our Legislators. ”

“ Who cares for France and Russia? Salisbury knows a trick or two worth any game they can play.
Fourth Well-Informed Politician (who has been waiting his chance, putting down the "Daily News") . I don't suppose this country will play any game, at all events, till the Grand Old Man's in again.
First Well-Informed Politician (hotly) . What! The Grand Old——! Why, Sir, what do you mean? Why it's he who's responsible for every blessed muddle and mess, including this Egyptian business, that has overtaken the country for the last twenty years. ”

“ In the Commons, Bryce announces that he will continue nightly to inquire about Wolff till he gets satisfactory answers.
A hot dull night and the Irish Land Bill again. John Dillon had the best of it, delivering a lively speech to full audience. After this, Members began to go to dinner, and forgot to return. A full muster on both Front Benches. Gladstone again in summer costume, with a rose in his coat and a gleam in his eye. Has grown ten years younger in the last fortnight. Spalding wiped off five years, North Paddington two, and Coventry the rest. ”

“ Would Northbrook ask Granville to "come outside," or would he swallow the affront? Northbrook looked a moment at the veteran Leader, noted his resolute look, his straightened figure, and the forefinger of his right hand dallying with a corner of a paper containing the Orders of the day, as if he were playing with pistol-trigger. On the whole, he thought he'd change the subject ”

“ There would be no departure from the most highly respectable precedents in holding open-air sittings of the House of Commons, while its advantages in the hot weather, as regards not only physical comfort, but mental and moral fitness for the work of the senator, are too obvious to need enumeration. ”

“ House of Commons, Monday, July 11.—Another Child of Victory up to-day in person of Ballantine, who won Coventry for the Liberals. "We shall have quite a family soon," said Gladstone, who sat on Front Bench, arrayed in wonderful summer suit. "Blessings in disguise," Grandolph calls the new recruits to Opposition forces. But it comes to same thing.
Old Morality created sensation by openly avowing himself a Separatist. Is firm with respect to Union with Wales and Ireland, but weak on Scotland. ”

“ Little Tommy (who has never been out of Whitechapel before) . "Oh! Oh! Oh!"
Kind Lady. "What's the Matter, Tommy?"
Little Tommy. "Why, what a big Sky they've got 'ere, Miss!"
AT THE NAVAL REVIEW.
Neptune (to Vulcan) . Hillo, Mate, you here?
Vulcan. Yes, my hearty; why not?
Neptune. Well, my ancient monopoly's all gone to pot.
You've been "inching it in," for a number of years;
Your Lemnos no longer has charms, it appears
To detain you on shore. Once a Naval Review
To a smithy-smoked game-legged land-lubber like you——
Vulcan. ”

“ I am asked to carefully report upon the condition of a large body of men, with a view to sampling the entire British Army. The large body of men shall have my careful consideration." Actuated by these worthy motives, I left Waterloo in the early morn (it was scarcely nine o'clock) , and travelled to Aldershot.
On my way down I entered into discussion with four civilians, whose interest in the day's proceedings seemed to be centred in the great question of lunch. ”

“ Reporters (armed with speaking trumpets) in the Band Stand and on branches of Trees.
The Speaker (in his shirt-sleeves) . Order, order! I must request Members to abstain from touching the Fireworks till the evening.
Dr. Tanner. I rise to a point of order, Sir. What are we to do if it rains? I see no preparation for rigging up an awning over us, and I must protest against this cowardly attempt on the part of the Government to stifle, or perhaps I ought to say drown, discussion, and——
The Speaker (interposing) . ”

“ I wundered to myself what the feelinx of Royalty must be when they knows and sees that all they has to do to give thowsands of most respectable peeple a feeling of rapshur amost imposserbel to realise, is for 'em to stand still and let 'em gaze at 'em by the hour! ”

“ And though the absence of Albani, Scalchi, and Gayarré made everyone's heart grow fonder, though we all missed them, yet we "pitied the sorrows of the poor old man," admired his acting and singing in a most difficult situation, and agreed with everybody that this strange Opera was a decided success. The Second scene of the last Act might be curtailed with advantage. This is speaking only dramatically; perhaps on a second hearing we should change our opinion. ”

“ Miss Ellen Terry's Portia is one of the best examples of true comedy acting in the present day. Mr. Irving's Shylock is a marvellously subtle impersonation, full of humour, pathos, and tragic power. After the play he made a short speech bidding a temporary farewell to his friends. Mr. Punch replies, "Good luck go with you, Au revoir!" ”

“ The world may be surprised to learn that Royalty wants its supper jest like meer common peeple, so there was sum difficulty about waiting on 'em, as of course they had to sup alone, with only the Lord and Lady Maress with 'em. ”

“ Oh, you may bluster, but you won't change my view of things, I can tell you. Gladstone's the man for Egypt, and for everything else.
First Well-Informed Politician (boiling over) . Confound it, Sir. Do you wish to insult me. I'll tell you what it is, Sir, I'll—— I'll——
[Left throwing more light on the situation as scene closes in.
BLESSINGS IN DISGUISE.
[Lord Randolph Churchill said that the loss of the North Paddington Election might prove a "blessing in disguise" to the Unionist Party.]
Unhappy Unionist loquitur:—
Oh, Grandolph, Grandolph, was it all your chaff? ”

“ Has given up to Dublin what was meant for mankind. Always unfeignedly delighted to get back to Westminster. Business to-night to move the Second Reading of Coercion Bill. Considerable gathering of Peers, expecting debate, and possible division. Amazed to find Front Opposition Bench almost empty. Granville rises to explain that it is useless to fight measure, and therefore don't intend to raise debate. ”

“ Chamberlain an ugly customer to tackle when at bay. Gave Tim as much as he brought. Wrangling getting a little high, when Speaker interposed, threatened to name Tim.
"Name away!" Tim sang out, cheerily; but knowing from experience that Speaker not to be trifled with, presently subsided.
On the whole a small House, and only whilst Chamberlain speaking any evidence of interest in proceedings. Next to the unexpected disclosure of Old Morality's falling away, most startling event of the evening was announcement by Ferguson that Wolff's pic-nic had already cost the country £27,000. ”

“ Admitted he, too, had speech ready, but would wait for audience on Front Bench opposite. General feeling of disappointment. Several Peers who had come down, expecting lively entertainment, wanted their money returned at the doors. Markiss referred them to Granville, but Granville had already smiled his way out. Bill read Second Time, and sitting comically collapsed.
Commons crowded. Grandolph's name underlined on the bills. Understood he meant to "go for" the Government. Expectation fully realised. ”

“ But fur t' claäy at t' bottom an' that, I mout ha bin brokken to bits!
An' I roared fur 'elp, fur I cudn't git up, an' the watter wur oop to my chin.
But nobbudy eerd ma a' beälin', nor thowt on the hole I wur in!
They'd niver find nawthin but boäns, I knawed, if they'd iver the gumption to dredge,
Then I groäned (impressively) —fur I eerd Araminty a tooklin' 'oop by the edge!
(Sulky sarcasm.) "Wunnerful funny, beänt it?" I sez, (I wur feälin' fit for to choäk.
To be catched loike a bee in a bottle—an' see her enjyin' the joäk!) ”