Various

“ Coolidge is awfully sweet looking, the plot. She likes a book because there is the cutest girl and they say she is very popular in Washington, Of in it, or the most attractive man, or because the author the unemployment situation, that these beggars you says the rawest things, well, my dear, simply noth- see in the streets all have big bank accounts and prob- ing is left to your imagination. And the lifting of ably most of them own tenement buildings. Of any strain on the imagination is regarded, in the married life, that she honestly believes that Fred Legion circle, as the king of assets. ”

“ My present watch is an I retired as Secretary of State of the Elgin Corsican--and it makes me proud state of New York. of this wonderful era of American As a remembrance token, a group of manufacture and efficiency. Almost as loyal and efficient officers in my depart- thin as a silver dollar-without a grain ment presented me with an Elgin watch of waste bulk-it is the handsomest --one of the earliest manufactured-in- watch I ever saw. And it is as exacting scribed with their namesand goodwishes. in time-keeping as it is exquisite in style. ”

“ When three of us marched in, as our cards provided, at 6:15, take our places at Table A-8, four in- dividualists were firmly intrenchered, I hope, never- theless, that the system can be put into practice over here as I know of few unhappier moments than that of discovering, after a feeling progress through five or six cars, that the corridor of the diner is packed like a six o'clock subway train.
I hope that eventually the orderly arrangement of dining car sittings will be able to do away with the annoying no-smoking-in-the-diner rule. ”

“ The President of the United States recently criticised If New York is not populated entirely by virtuosos three Princeton students because of the way their in another generation it will not be the fault of the trousers were hanging, and suggested that they wear Art Center. ”

“ And so, before it is too late, it would their bright young men devised the trouble-making be well to hang the grand cord of the order of Sucker phrase, "A House of Prayer for All People.” It has Grandissimus about the neck of the World, which proved an effective slogan, so effective that thus far will be entitled forevermore to point to the Democratic it has lured into the Cathedral coffers seven of the Convention of 1924 and to the Censorship Agitation fifteen millions needed. ”

“ Ever rolled drunk in the gutters; ever been The World, apparently just the least bit conscious, divorced because of a duchess even a countess will but too late, of what it has done, is beginning to de- do, if it's well written; ever blackmailed anyone- mand a censorship by way of the Citizens' Jury, with blackmail hasn't been done lately; ever fought a duel which the actors are to co-operate. It holds the weird over a notorious adventuress ”

“ No sooner is the curse pronounced than actors duced last Monday and Tuesday nights respectively begin dropping like Aies, and, if the author had only would make it a week in dramatic history that should done right by the idea, you would be just as absorbed be marked with a white stone. Or if the week isn't, as the hero in his endeavors to guard the health of the then the playwrights ought to be. gentleman whose turn comes just before his own. ”

“ Longworth is a dilettante in politics. Other- futility of life. Once in a tight place his counsel wise how could he have put up with it so long! For was needed in the Senate, but the Senator was on one recreation he plays a violin and could make a living of his toots. No one could do anything with him. at it if he had a living to make. Alice Roosevelt got in her automobile, drove to the If she does not feel like dressing, Alice—not the Senator's house and obliged the protesting butler to butler-may receive her guests at the door in a produce his employer. ”

“ Legion feel that she is smart enough to ap- Although she lives as far from Park Avenue as pear in public. it is possible to do and still keep out of Jersey, Mrs. Duties aside, Mrs. Legion must have her fun, being Legion is cozily conversant of all the comings and only human. Her good times consist in meeting her goings, or what have you, of the Avenue dwellers. women friends almost daily, either at her house or at Breathlessly she pursues the society notes in the one of theirs, and having a real old-fashioned talk. ”

“ If we happen to please we shall not apologize, but we are not in that vast army of bores struggling frantically to give the people what they want. There may be money in such a struggle, but we are not even sure of that. ”

“ We won't write expensively all the time. We will spill the We had intended to say earlier that you could have beans once in awhile, and we will say what is on our slapped us in the face with a wet blanket, or what- mind, if any, no matter what the subject happens to ever the saying is, when we saw the first issue. We be. On days that we haven't any ideas we won't were as astonished and alarmed as anybody else at the pretend that we have. At such times we will want tone of levity and farce that seemed to pervade it and to appear as inconsequential as we are. ”

“ LAST week saw Spring coquetting on Fifth Ave- nue, but aside from that uncalendared escapade (did you ever notice that sunny late-winter days on the Avenue always seem brighter and more gay with promise than anywhere else in town?) there weren't many events of interest to mention in my letter to Aunt Evelyn in Dubuque. Despite implica- tions of the catch-line of a certain new magazine most of the old ladies in Dubuque are most keenly interested in things that are supposed to interest only New Yorkers. ”

“ The first issue of THE NEW YORKER was published within a stone's throw of Fifth Ave nue and Forty-second Street, the site here pictured. The printing plant was in Fortieth Street and in those days, because of the traffic, it was a long and difficult journey between the two places, and the return time less than thirty minutes. SEL was never This is the Astor Theatre, fabled in New York story and song. The editors of THE NEW YORKER, in the olden days, frequently dropped in there for a few moments to while away the time in con- templation of the antics of the Artists and Models. ”

“ The Roosevelt-Robinson stuff does nally, one woman who could bear the uncertainty no not go in this quarter. longer went to Mrs. Longworth and asked her, Alice She is still the Princess Alice. It is astonishing in knew her woman, She concealed the delight which a way—how the capers of that vivid girl of twenty everyone who really knew her knew she felt, and re- some years ago have left their impress on the woman plied, in a quizzical way that she has, that she was of to-day who has her first grey hairs and her first always willing to try anything once. ”

“ You lose a great to make a volume as beautiful as it is convenient-limp cov- opportunity by not doing so. Tear it out now, before turning ers, heavily grained: gold title and decorations; silk headband the page and mail to: and footband; sepia frontispiece. Truly, a book to grace the finest library. DEPT. THE PLYMOUTH PUBLISHING CO., 22 The New "Midnight Edition" 7 WEST 42nd STREET, NEW YORK CITY But what richness of binding could compare with the treasures within—the priceless treasures of Poe's immortal genius! ”

“ Legion would eat steak every night if you'd give it In the theatre, she likes best to patronize, even to him. Of the race question, that these Swedes and though she must wait weeks to obtain desirable seats, Irish girls are so independent that she has half a mind those exhibits which she euphemistically describes as to get a couple of darkie servants. ”

“ She breaks every rule in the book Some women will tell you that Alice Roosevelt is and in Washington the rules count. Yet an invita- without sentiment; that she is ruthless and cruel. Men tion to the Longworths is more prized by the dis- make few such complaints. Certainly Mrs. Long- criminating than an invitation to the White House. worth has the friendship and the confidence of men Mrs. Longworth gives no guest lists to the papers. high in public life who care little for women. ”

“ Some Rarely is there a big parade in New York which restaurants even eliminated oysters from the cuisine. is not headed by the Old Guard, their massive shakos Clams held on to their social tone by great effort. ”

“ There is the actor who wears spats with his dinner jacket, and there is the actor They were guying Nick Longworth whose French Aavors strongly of Jersey about his spats. How did he expect to City: get himself clected Speaker of the next There is the theatre party that is in a House unless he came through with some constant state of giggling throughout the concessions to the plain people! ”

“ THE HE transit situation in New York City which Then there is the question of a Municipal Art for many years has been a problem and a nui- Center. The plans provide for a magnificent group sance is rapidly becoming a menace. Owing to the of buildings up near the Jerome Park reservoir. peculiar geographical formation of Manhattan Island, There are to be about a dozen rooms, each equipped travel is necessarily longitudinal rather than lateral. with a piano, where the poor children of the slums Let us look at a few figures; almost any figures can go to practice music. ”

“ It is our suspicion that the New York public is gen
The Good Bad Showman
erally tolerant, but that it does not easily forgive thing we feel quite sure: if we ever run out of things those who are trying to uplift it and those who are to say, just for the fun of saying them, we expect breaking their necks to give it what it wants. to close up this little playhouse and go to work. ܀ Broadway almost died a few years ago, with this particular kind of broken neck. ”

“ Till a slow-motion movie was shown, "Sir, although we have no need of the fur which —with all due respect to you---we believe to have When, gasping, he sprang to his feet, been purloined, we are gratified to know that it has Then collapsed in his seat with a groan. belonged to a nice lady. Such are the reputed rewards of feminine frailty, and such the innuendoes of cynics His collapse was no puzzle to me, in this our city, that one is at times almost tempted For the motion when movies go slow to misdoubt the character of some who wear furs. ”

“ Coolidge, who is all "honorary committee of this or that great right, and who probably has laughed at the movement. She dumbfounded a worthy lady pickle epigram if she has ever heard it. once by lightly declining to join the mighty Alice goes to prize fights with her husband Daughters of the American Revolution. Yet or her half brothers. At a White House gar- in her imperceptible way she is one of the den party last Spring she shook a crowd of most influential women in Washington. She notables and took young T. R. and a naval knows men, measures and motives ”

“ Alice Roosevelt was the first woman in Wash- "And what in the world did she mean," demanded ington to smoke in public and the first to have her the estimable old ferret, "when she spoke of the ex- monogram on her cigarettes. She was among the first pected as her 'grand baby'?” to drive an automobile and to drive it too fast to suit The lady would have been worse con founded had the constabulary. she understood Alice rightly. The Countess Marguerite Cassini taught Alice to What Mrs. Longworth really said was her "gland smoke, and in a roundabout way the Count Cassini, baby." ”

“ Alice bundled him into the Chinese silk outfit something like a swell set of pa- car and took him to her home, where Nick sobered up jamas. She will sit on her feet on a tiger skin before the confused statesman. the fire and smoke while Nick, after a wearing day It is too bad for the Roosevelt political dynasty on the floor of the House, fiddles with complete ab- that Alice wasn't a boy. She is the smartest Roose- straction. Colonel Roosevelt shot the tiger skin in velt there is left--the old Colonel's daughter in more Africa. ”

“ The Longworth place is the nearest political situations for which she has an instinctive thing to a salon that Washington has. Alice liking. Her fair for phrases is feared and Longworth never made a speech in her life famous. That "Coolidge looks as if he had and never gave an interview. She was not a been weaned on a pickle" is an Aliceism. suffrage advocate, never joined a woman's She is a great friend of the Coolidges, club, never is sponsor for or a member of the though, especially Mrs. ”

“ Natu- Old Guard have not altered for a century. rally, balls in those days were gayer and more lively While the call to duty at parades or for the mass- affairs, but the Old Guard has managed to withstand ing of the colors at the ball never finds the members even the rigors of prohibition, though many of the lacking in alacrity there is not the same enthusiasm older members aver that the annual gatherings are for drills, which are not compulsory. ”

“ Climbs Cleopatra's Needle- Avenue says her new vacuum Feeds Birds on Top, Jane Doe cleaner is much less work than the Tells Cop old one, as it needs oiling only once 10. Wooed by Napoleon's Ghost every six months instead of twice. -Jane Doe is Emperor's Psychic Bride. If the fortunate young person Bicycles seem to be going out of fashion if our main thoroughfares chosen by the Cheese Club will are any criterion. agree to engage in these trifling en- deavors for publicity, she is as- sured nothing less than a three- Gas stoves are being furnished in years' contract with the Shuberts. ”

“ Tamblyn & Brown entertain the gentlemen by circumstance and the frowns of your severest critic Will Rogers said lately this nation couldn't go to to mumble an apologetic something about the painters war because it didn't have a slogan. The Protestant being in, or the servants having gone, or sorry, but- Episcopal diocese of New York is better equipped. ”

“ The sole rea- son for its existence to-day is its discouragement of the lingering passenger who likes a cigarette or cigar with his coffee. I should think the perfect working of the new system would allow the momentary comfort of tobacco in the minute and three-quarters consumed by the waiters in bringing change. ”

“ Google
Princess Alice
women wa THE can take a bridge hand and play it well, but young Countess with her European notions who dis- poker is her game. She is one of the few turbed the head of the family in the White House. Marguerite had been introduced to Washington as straights. Nick, of course, taught her this unfeminine the niece of the ambassador. She was beautiful and point. But Alice learned. That is the idea. As the she was clever. The imperial Russian embassy in sands of the desert are the loyal poker-playing hus- those days was the brightest spot in Washington. ”