W. E. Christian

“ He's a swearin', fightin' cavalryman,
But—he's my bunkie.
He's weathered the winds of the Western waste.
(You, gentle Christian, would call him debased)
And he's loved at his ease and married in haste,
Has my bunkie.
In a Philippine paddy he's slept in the rain,
When he's drunk rotten booze that drives you insane,
And he's often court-martialed—yes, over again,
Is my bunkie.
He's been on the booze the whole blooming night,
To mount guard next morning most awfully tight,
Though he's "dressed" like a soldier when given "Guide Right,"
He's my bunkie. ”

“ When I came into Uncle's Army.
They told me of the non-coms, who knew a soldier's worth,
Who made the Army jolly, a place of endless mirth;
But not a word they told me of the amount of beer I'd buy,
Just to keep a "stand in" with those that rank up high—
In Sammy's splendid Army.
They told me of the bill-of-fare that changed with every day,
And when landed in the Army for thirty years I'd stay;
But not a word they told me (No wonder they were mum) ,
About the stuff they feed us, commonly known as "Slum"—
In our conquering Army. ”

“ The sergeant says: "Go get that scythe and sharpen it again.
The grass has grown six inches, men, while we have been in bed,
So hustle, soldiers, hustle—don't let it get ahead."
The Chief of Staff sits up above and wonders "wot fell?"
The money goes by millions, but the Army is a sell.
We privates, if we dared to, could easy hit the mark,
It's grass that takes up all our time from early dawn to dark.
We all would like to soldier and get prepared for war;
It's what we left our happy homes and joined the Army for.
We'd like to learn our duties from "skirmish drill" to "mass." ”

“ The mosquitos delight with their, buzzing wings;
The sand burs prevail, and so do the ants,
And those who sit down, need half-soles in their pants.
The heat in the summer is one hundred and ten,
Too hot for the Devil and too hot for the men;
The wild boar roams thru the back chaparral,
'Tis a hell of a place that he picked for a hell.
O'REILLY'S GONE TO HELL O'Reilly was a soldier man, the pride of Battery "B."
In all the blooming regiment no better man than he;
The ranking duty Non Com., he knew his business well,
But since he's tumbled down the pole, O'Reilly's gone to Hell. ”

“ Will my bunkie.
And if I get hit—his arm goes around,
And raises me tenderly off of the ground,
And the words on his lips are a comforting sound,
The words of my bunkie.
OUR OFFICERS I'm goin' to be discharged, sir;
My time is near its close,
I want to tell you, cap'en,
You're the best the country grows.
They ain't no man in all the world
Can beat the army man,
That wears the shiny leggins and
That does the best he can. ”

“ THE MOUNTAIN BATTERY SONG 1.
Fall in. Fall in. Attention, you red-legged mountaineers,
With your gun and pack and box of tack, "non-coms." and cannoneers,
Baptized in Mindanao, beside the Sulu Sea.
Here's How, and How, how, how, to a mountain battery.
Here's How, and How, how, how, to a mountain battery.
2.
I'd rather be a soldier with a mule and mountain gun
Than a Knight of old with spurs of gold, a Roman, Greek or Hun,
For when there is trouble brewing they always send for me
To start the row with a row, row, row, from a mountain battery. ”

“ Just listen to the tale of a soldier, told in
ought thirteen.
Part of the Colonial Army for duty in the Philippine group. If I had the gink that sent me I sure would make him loop the loop. Our valor is tested daily. We fight the mosquitos and heat. The country is fine for a Gu-Gu, but I long for old Market Street. The hiking is fine for a soldier, you fill up
on dust on the road,
And to eat on a dusty stomach makes you
feel like any toad.
You may talk of a seven-year enlistment,
God help me get this one in,
When you do one on the Archipelago,
you will never be free from sin. ”

“ So make way for the red stripe man,
The pride of our armee
And let him tell the glories of
The Coast Artillerie.
About another soldier man I'd like to say a word:
He's neither fish nor flesh nor fowl, but he is a bird,
He finds his way o'er foreign seas by sun and moon and star,
But he could not find his way across the Island of Samar.
Chorus:
So make way for the web-foot man
The good U. S. Marines.
They need four guides for every man,
Out in the Philippines. ”

“ S is the SERGEANT,
Who keeps 'em in line,
T is TATTOO,
Three-quarters past nine,
U is the UNIFORM,
Buttons so bright,
V is the VOLLEY,
That settles the Fight;
W the WAGON,
With "four Army mules,"
X the eX-soldier,
Whose ardor now cools,
Y is the YOUNGSTER,
Just out of the "Point,"
Z—can't you tell
This line's out-of-joint?
A SOLDIERS PRIMER A man, a hat, a blouse, a gun,
Call this a soldier just for fun.
A dog tent, blanket, candle, match,
His home is built with rare dispatch;
With hard tack, bacon, army beans,
Army life is not what it seems. ”

“ THE SONG OF THE SHOVEL AND THE PICK The Sergeant says: "My gun is rusty,
And I guess it must be right.
But you ought to see my pick and shovel;
They are always shining bright."
Chorus:
Farewell, Bunkie, I must leave you,
And leave you mighty quick
For I'll be d——d if I can soldier
With a shovel and a pick.
There is hash that's hot, and hash that's cold;
There's hash that's new and hash that's old ”

“ Bunkie, I have dreamed so often of the buff that I shall wear,
That I feel the honor greater than a man like me can bear.
Long I've waited; long I've cherished thoughts of how I'd look and feel
When the captain said: Howard, here's a stripe to aid your zeal.
Then I'd be a non-com., bunkies, then I'd write to dad and say,
Modest-like: "A Corporal's greetings to his folks so far away!" ”

“ When the Sergeant calls the roll.
The officers are lookin' up
The "Articles of War";
There's sixteen in the guard-house,
And the Provost has some more.
THE ARMY GROUCH When the Grouch gets up at reveille,
He puts his elbow on his knee;
His head upon his hand;
And tho' he's slept ten hours or more,
His back is weak, his feet are sore,
And he can hardly stand.
And, as he goes to get his chow,
He says, "By Gosh!—I don't see how
A soldier lives so long.
The spuds is rotten and the slum
Is always worse than on the bum.
The coffee is too strong. ”

“ Our troubles may be all imaginary and
caused by too much sun,
But how much imagining is called for in
the war games they play for fun.
I try to do all they require me, but, God,
who can do all that?
The man is not made who can obey all
orders of a man with a gold cord on his hat.
Some are better than others, they don't
feel the polish and such,
But I've learned my lesson—they'll get
you in dutch.
Don't think for a minute I'm a sorehead
because I am in for bob,
My muscles shure got hard in the army;
I can d——! easy get a job. ”

“ Bunkie—a soldier who shares the shelter of a comrade.
Bust—to reduce a non-commissioned officer to the grade of a private.
Butcher—the company barber.
Canned Horse—canned beef.
Chief—name by which the chief musician of the band is usually called by the enlisted men.
Cit—a civilian.
Cits—civilian clothes.
C. O.—commanding officer.
Coffee Cooler—one who seeks easy details away from troops; one who is always looking for an easy job.
Cold-feet—fear, lack of courage (to have cold feet is to be afraid, to lack courage) . ”

“ ENGLISH ARMY SLANG Gravel Crushers—infantry soldiers.
Poultice Wallahs—Royal Army Medical Corps men.
Doolally Tap—when a soldier becomes mentally unbalanced he is said to have received the "Doolally Tap." "Doolally" is a corruption of the name of an Indian town, Deolali.
Bun Wallah—a soldier who drinks nothing stronger than tea, and is in consequence supposed to eat voraciously of buns.
Chips—the regimental pioneer sergeant, who is usually a sergeant. ”

“ So now he'll soon be quittin' of the Army.
"Where is the Army goin' to?" said Files-on-Parade,
"And what is it a'goin' to do?" the Color Sergeant said;
"The boys will soon have done their time," said Files-on-Parade,
"And few of 'em will 'hitch' again," the Color Sergeant said.
For the Transports bring one "rookie" to take the place of ten,
"Old Timers," who are goin' home, and won't "hitch" up again,
And they'll have a Rookie Army—instead of Soldier Men.
For they're breakin' up the Army in the Islands. ”

“ But we are wiser (?) in our day.
Try to remember it, if you can,
Tis this: "The clothes don't make the man."
Don't turn the soldier down. You may,
For aught you know, or others say,
Be entertaining, unawares,
An angel; and, if not, who cares?
For, be he good, bad, weak or strong,
'Mid summer's sun or winter's storm,
You call on him to right your wrong,
Altho he wears a uniform. ”

“ I'll be easy with them, bunkie, patient, 'tho they feel no awe.
Bunkie, I'm growing sleepy; wake me when the morning breaks;
For upon the track of merit, I will land the non-com. stakes.
Let me hear the joyful clamor when I wake from pleasant dreams
That the fellows rise when greeting a noncom., who is what he seems. ”

“ Guard House Lawyer—a soldier with a smattering knowledge of regulations and military law; quite loquacious and liberal with advice and counsel to men in the Guard House or other trouble.
Hand-Shaker—a soldier who tries to win the favor of first sergeant or troop commander.
Hardtack—hardbread, biscuits.
Hash Mark—enlistment or service stripe, worn on sleeve.
Hike—a march; to hike; to march. ”

“ Attend to the patient on the spot, and fix the injured limb, at once, by splints and bandages. Use great gentleness.
If there is a wound, cleanse it and apply antiseptic dressing before putting limb in splints.
Disturb the limb as little as possible and make the patient comfortable until arrival of doctor.
SNAKE BITES.—Tie something tightly around the limb, between the wound and the heart. Give patient a good dose of brandy or some other spirit.
Encourage the bleeding by squeezing the bitten part and bathe with warm water. If breathing is bad, use artificial respiration. ”

“ Captain says he'll add the title and a stripe on either flank.
Then I'll be a non-com., bunkie, wake me up that I may see
My own glory bubble appearing, hear it burst at reveille.
Wake me early from my slumbers, henceforth I would early rise,
Health and wealth are common virtues—dawn will brand me both, and wise. ”

“ If you cannot, and there are no stains about mouth or lips and no burning sensation in mouth and throat, give an emetic or tickle throat to make patient vomit. Emetics are: three-teaspoonfuls of mustard in pint of tepid water; salt and water, two tablespoonfuls to pint of warm water. (See First Aid for Poisoning.)
When there are stains, etc., give cream, white of eggs, olive or linseed oil (no oil with phosphorus poisoning) . Antidotes to follow.
GRIT IN THE EYE.—Do not rub the injured eye. By rubbing the other eye you will bring tears, which may wash the grit out. ”

“ To report any private or non-com who asks for thirds.
4. To receive, transmit and obey all orders from and allow myself to be relieved by the Mess Sergeant, first and second cooks only.
5. To quit the coffee only when properly relieved.
6. To repeat all calls for "seconds" from the dining room.
7. To hold conversation with no one who asks for onions.
8. To allow no one to pass the cooks tobacco or booze.
9. To salute all slum not incased in an overcoat.
10. In any case not covered by instructions call the first cook. ”

“ AMERICAN SOLDIER
CONTENTS MY BUNKIE OUR OFFICERS PAY DAY THE ARMY GROUCH WEANING TIME "HANDS ACROSS THE SEA" THE HIKE A-B-C OF ARMY LIFE A SOLDIER'S PRIMER THE TALE AND WAIL OF A ROOKIE A MARINE'S HYMN HERE'S TO THE SIXTEENTH HIKING IN THE PHILIPPINES THE MOUNTAIN BATTERY SONG THE CAVALRY SONG THE RED GUIDON THE CONSCRIPT THE SLACKER PREPAREDNESS "BEANS" ADVICE THE SCENT OF THE COCOA MEN OF THE HOSPITAL CORPS GARRISON LIFE THE PHILIPPINITIS THE EAST IS A-CALLING TELL YOUR TROUBLES TO THE CORPORAL OF THE GUARD GENERAL ORDERS OF THE KITCHEN POLICE IS HE A SOREHEAD? ”

“ Bobygee—a soldier cook. In India a native one.
Baggies—sailors in the Navy.
Badgy—an enlisted boy.
Long-faced Chum—a cavalryman's term for his horse.
Rooty—bread.
Slingers—a meal of bread and tea.
Muckin—butter.
Bully Beef—the tinned meat ration.
Lamping—eating heartily.
C. B.—confined to barracks.
Chucking a Dummy—when a man faints on parade he is said to "have chucked a dummy." ”

“ Slum—a stew of meat, potatoes and onions, mostly potatoes and onions.
Soap Suds Row—the laundresses' quarters.
Soldier, to—to soldier, to serve; also to shirk.
Soldiers' One Per Cent—one hundred per cent.
Sow-belly—bacon.
Stars and Stripes—beans.
Striker—a soldier who works for an officer. ”

“ But the perquisite that with it goes.
There are times when the righteous are doubtful,
There are times when no man doubts.
When you once get the scent of the cocoa
There's a man and his conscience at outs ”

“ Oh, "Pay-as-you-like";
K is the KITCHEN,
Where they turn out the "stew,"
L is LANCE-CORPORAL.
Who ranks just a few;
M is the MESS,
Where the rations are served,
N is "NON-COM,"
Whose "Stripes" are deserved ”

“ TO STOP BLEEDING.—Place a pad of clean cloth on the wound and bandage firmly. Raise the part affected. If raising the limbs or applying the pad does not control the bleeding, compress with your two thumbs over bone and as near the wound as possible. Give no stimulants as long as bleeding remains uncontrolled. ”