Eline

“ In Eline, who, of a languid and lymphatic nature, felt the need of tender support, and gentle warmth of affection, and whose nerves, delicate as the petals of a flower, even in their soft, velvet-clad surroundings, were often too rudely handled by the slightest opposition, there developed a kind of timid reserve, which filled her mind with thousands of small tokens of a secret grief. ”

“ But Emilie de Woude brought her own boisterous gaiety with her. Her lively chat infused a little brightness into the dull atmosphere of the drawing-room—in which the gas was not yet lit—into which, along the heavy folds of the draperies, a darkening twilight penetrated which seemed to transform the brightness of the gilded panelling, and the glistening sheen of the fawn-satin cushions, into undefined and gloomy shadows. Emilie wanted to see Eline’s presents, charming trifles—a few bouquets arranged on a table, round about a big basket full of flowers and fruit. ”

“ It was Eline.
“Good morning, Eline.”
“Good morning, Betsy. Good morning, Ben.”
“Fancy you going out in this rain!”
“I had a cab. I could not stay at home any longer. The weather made me so melancholy, and I thought I was going mad with ennui. Oh, great heavens!”
She let herself go, as with a cry of despair she fell down on a seat, and removed her little veil.
“Just imagine always being pent up within the four walls of your room, no one to see you, nothing in which you take any interest. Is that not enough to drive you mad? ”

“ As for that Betsy, oh, how I hate her.”
“Eline, I entreat you, be calm now.”
“Why did she mention Otto’s name? What right has she to mention Otto’s name? I hate her! I hate her!”
“Eline! Eline!” Jeanne cried, clasping her hands.
She flung herself before the couch.
“Eline, I beseech you, I beseech you, in Heaven’s name! Be calm! Rest yourself now, Eline.”
Eline, with her feverish, staring eyes, looked long at Jeanne, then she threw her arm round her neck.
“Lie down and rest yourself now, Eline; rest yourself, if you cannot sleep.” ”

“ In the atmosphere of that sick room, permeated as it was with an ætherealized odour of drugs, the virtues and prowess of the noble heroes, the spotless beauties of the arch-wicked or divinely righteous heroines, became endowed with an irresistible charm of tempting unreality; and Eline often felt a passionate longing to be in one of those old English mansions, where earls and duchesses were engaged in such exquisite love-making, and had such romantic meetings under the moon-lit trees of a grand old park. Aunt died, and Henk and Betsy invited Eline to make their house her home. ”

“ He is certainly a little quiet and rather gloomy, but then he was never very boisterous, was he?”
“No,” murmured Eline, brimful of past memories.
“He is not in the Hague now; he is at the Horze, I believe.”
“Have I driven him away, I wonder?” thought Eline, and with an effort to make it appear as though the interest she took in him was for his own sake, not for hers, she softly said, “Then I suppose he has got over it; there is nothing I should like better than to know him to be happy, he deserves it. He is a very good fellow.” ”

“ Then in life after life Eline seemed to see her other selves living and loving and working, sleeping and suffering and struggling. She saw that on a day she had made her great resolve to help the world. “I will return! I will! I will!”
And now she knew what things they were she had seemed to remember in the king’s garden of delight. Joyously, eagerly, willingly, she saw that she had determined to return to earth in body after body, to help [16] the men of sorrow who struggled and slumbered and suffered. ”

“ I feel—nay, I declare, I am convinced of it—that if you married Eline, you would never, never be happy. She might like you for a time, but her love would only be egotism, as everything in her is egotism.”
“Freddie, you are severe,” he said, softly but reproachfully. “’Tis very nice of you to feel so much for me, but you are very, very hard on Eline. I don’t think you know her, and, on the contrary, I believe that she would sacrifice herself altogether for one she loved.”
“You say I don’t know her; but how can you know her then? You only see her when she is all smiles and amiability.” ”

“ Without mercy for herself she would wrench away that blossom from her soul, she would again and again blot out that vision. It was torture, but still she must do it.
And as she stared away into that melancholy mist, ascending in gray layers over the valley yonder, a beloved face rose up before her moist eyes—a manly face, with an expression of frankness and sincerity in its eyes, and beaming with a winning smile; but it was not upon her, but upon Eline, that that smile threw its brightness.
The tramcars running between the Ouden Schevening road and the Kurhaus were thronged. ”

“ Eline, meanwhile, in the midst of that light glamour of worldliness continued to feed the flame of her secret love in silent happiness, and thought it all very romantic. One morning she had been shopping, and as she was returning along the Princessegracht, she saw Fabrice slowly coming from the Bosch, close by the Bridge. She felt her heart beating, and scarcely dared look up. Still, at last, with apparent indifference she just ventured to glance at him. ”

“ Eline returned through the Java-straat to the Laan van Meerdervoort, and found Madame van Raat alone, seated in her high-backed chair, her hands folded in her lap. And in the young girl’s eyes she appeared such a picture of mute sadness; over the rich faded furniture there hovered such a melancholy shadow of past comfort; the whole apartment was filled with such an atmosphere of sorrow, and about the folds of the dark green curtains there hung such a mist of melancholy, that on entering, Eline felt her heart grow cold within her, as though a voice had told her that life was not worth living. ”

“ He took her part, too, another victim to Eline’s coquetry, just the same as Etienne, who would not hear a word against her! What did all those boys see in her? She could not understand it; she thought Eline nothing but artificiality and affectation, an actress; in short, Eline was acting. And although Etienne’s pleading for Eline annoyed her, she felt herself, now that he was away at the Horze, lonely without him, in the midst of the bustle of the little van Ryssels and the barking of Hector, betwixt which Miss Frantzen made desperate efforts to restore peace and quietness. ”

“ It was the third day after Vincent’s departure, but although he had left the house, there had been another tiff about him between Eline and Betsy, who had spoken her mind about her “wretch of a cousin” in the presence of visitors, and to Eline’s intense annoyance. The time had now come, Betsy thought, when she should once for all let Eline know that she was mistress in that house; and so, with the full intention of doing so, she walked up-stairs in the evening into Eline’s boudoir.
“What do you want?” Eline said haughtily. “I should like to be alone.” ”

“ Uncle Daniel entered the room.
“Bon soir, St. Clare. You are not coming, are you? But, Eline! Are not you going to dress?”
Eline stammered something and could not find her words, when she heard the voice of Elise, who was grumbling to the maid. Elise entered, glittering with sequins and Moorish draperies, her feet encased in two little slippers.
“Bon soir, St. Clare. What a pity you are not going. It will be very nice—Ciel! Eline!”
Vincent came in from the conservatory. ”

“ Winter approached, and on account of her cough Eline remained at home a good deal with Madame van Raat; in dull listlessness the days dragged by, one after another without change, without a break in the monotony; for the hundredth time Eline asked herself to what end she lived, why indeed should she live if she could not be happy. After this disappointment in her own philanthropy and piety she would trust no one; she looked around her, and she did not believe that Georges and Lili cared for each other now that they were married, or that they were happy ”

“ At table, Eline chatted pleasantly with de Woude, next to whom [34] she was seated. Betsy sat between her two gentlemen guests, Emilie between Henk and Frans, Jeanne between Eline and Henk. In the somewhat sombre dining-room, with its antique furniture, the table glistened with snowy damask, with silver and fine glass, whilst the rays of gas-light glinted on decanters and glasses, making the dark-red or amber-coloured wine appear to quiver under the glow of its radiance. From amid a nest of flowers in a silver basket rose the prickly crown of a splendid pine. ”

“ No; really, Truus, I can’t make you out. I on the contrary [193] admire Eline, because, stranger as she is among our family, she so quickly made herself at home. I can assure you that when I came to London with Howard—I did not know his family at all, that’s true—but I must say I felt a little bit like a fish out of water among them, cordial though they all were. But Eline—dear me! why ’tis as if I have always known her; she is so easy, so accommodating, you have no trouble with her whatever. ”

“ They both nodded to Vincent, who laughingly fixed them with his glass, upon which Eline hid her face coquettishly behind her fan.
“Who is it? who is Vincent?” asked Emilie and Georges.
“Vincent Vere, a first cousin,” Betsy answered. “Oh, such a silly boy; nobody ever knows where he is; sometimes you don’t see him for months at a time, then all at once he stands before you again. I had no idea at all that he was at the Hague. Eline, for gracious sake, don’t fidget so with that fan.” ”

“ Clare coming towards her once more.
“You are so surrounded,” he laughed softly, “one can scarcely penetrate.”
Eline puckered up her little mouth contemptuously.
“Let us move aside a little. There is more room there,” she lisped.
She made her escape deftly from the circle of the geniuses, and with a sigh sank down on a settee. Nervously her fingers played about the dull gold beads that covered her low-necked corsage of black satin as with a glistening ray. ”

“ After supper Madame van Raat suggested that Eline should go and take a little rest in her room. Eline agreed, but little madam was to stay with her—would she? Paul had an appointment with some friends, and took his leave, and Henk too rose.
“May Betsy come and see you to-morrow?” he whispered a little anxiously. She smiled and looked at him questioningly, pressing his hand.
“Certainly,” she replied; “kiss her for me, will you? And how is Ben, has he grown much?”
“Oh yes, he is an immense boy. You shall see him to-morrow. Well, good-bye, Elly, good-night.” ”

“ But, Eline——”
“Well?”
Several questions rose to Jeanne’s lips. She felt eager to ask her to tell her more about herself, to be more free and open with her; but the studied cordiality of the smile that hovered about the delicate lips, and was reflected in those dreamy, almond eyes, effectually silenced her. And she felt a sudden regret at her frankness towards such a coquette of a girl deftly playing with her fan; it was mere waste of time in talking to her. Why had she allowed herself to yield to the first impulse? for they were entirely unsuited to one another.... ”

“ Could nothing move him, nor rouse him from that rest which seemed all but lethargy? Kind and affectionate, yes, that he was, but he was incapable of deep feeling; perhaps his calmness was nothing but egoism after all, an egoism which another’s grief was powerless to move!
Thoughts such as these made Eline feel wretched and unhappy. Oh, great heavens! they were the spectres, the grim spectres, that were fast crowding in around her. No, no, they should not drag her along with them, she would scare them away, away ”

“ Uncle Daniel and Elise courteously welcomed their somewhat loosely-picked-up acquaintances. The young men of the club, the count, the actor, the dueller and his blonde wife, were the first to make their appearance; and after that Eline saw them pass in review before their host and hostess, and a strange review it was. The gentlemen with something artificial or Bohemian about them, the ladies with much too big diamonds, and in faded silken trains. ”

“ At times her memory went back to her father, a painter, of refined and artistic temperament, elegant, but without the strength of a creative faculty, married whilst but a youth to a woman many years his senior, and by far his superior in strength of will and individuality. To her master hand, his pliant nature readily yielded, for his was a fine-strung temperament which, like the chords of a precious instrument, would have trembled under her rude touch, just as that of Eline sometimes trembled under the touch of her sister. ”

“ He engaged her in a lively conversation, whilst Eline on Otto’s arm, in the shade of her parasol, which he held, laughingly replied to him. And Eline herself wondered how it was that without the least effort she made an agreeable impression upon every man with whom she came in contact, whilst the sympathies of those of her own sex she could only succeed in enlisting by dint of exercising all the arts of her loving affection.
Through her conversation, full of cheerful banter, the thought flashed like lightning—Madame van Erlevoort cared for her only on account of Otto ”

“ As time passed by Eline came to know more and more of that other life and she longed to tell these things to the people who struggled and surged in hot strife to win the things of the world they knew, never thinking that there was a happier, purer, brighter world. Some thought they knew of such a one; but all except a few made it seem like the one in which they lived—only they made it a little more bright by day, a little more dark by night, and with a little more success in the strife for the [31] things that change and pass away. ”