Hajji Baba of Ispahan

“ Say then, O dervish, what shall I do?'
'You are not that Hajji Baba which I always took you to be,' said the dervish, 'if you have not the ingenuity to deceive the mûshtehed. Keep to your silence, and your sighs, and your shrugs, and your downcast looks, and who is there that will discover you to be an ass? ”

“ Are we nothing, that you should come all this distance from Bagdad to make us dance like apes at your bidding?'
'Oh, Allah, great and good!' exclaimed I, 'what is all this? Why do you speak after this manner? What have I done? Speak, and speak truth!'
'Ah, Hajji, Hajji!' said my wife's uncle, shaking his head and grey beard at the same time, 'you have been eating much abomination! Could a man who has seen the world like you, suppose that others will eat it with you, and say, thanks be to Allah! No, no—we may eat, but will not digest your insolence. ”

“ You must be a rare man without shame to call such acts nothing!'
'Perhaps,' said the eldest brother, 'you think it a great honour which the son of an Ispahan barber confers upon one of the richest families of Constantinople, when he marries their daughter!'
'And perhaps,' said the other, 'you may look upon a beggarly vender of pipe-sticks in the light of a merchant, and think him worthy of any alliance!'
'But Hajji, praise be to Allah! is a great merchant,' said the uncle ironically: 'his silks and velvets are now on their way to bring us lambskins from Bokhara ”

“ Chapter XLVII — Hajji Baba is robbed by his friend, and left utterly destitute; but is released from his confinement My mind now dwelt upon the promise which the mûshtehed had made of procuring my pardon and release from the Shah, when he came to visit the sanctuary at Kom; and it occurred to me, that to secure the favour of so powerful an advocate, I ought to make him a present, without which nothing is ever accomplished in Persia. But of what it was to be composed was the next consideration. The money left in my purse was all that I had to subsist upon until I should acquire a new livelihood ”

“ Perhaps, friend Hajji, you do not know that this is the residence of the celebrated Mirza Abdul Cossim, the first mûshtehed (divine) of Persia; a man who, if he were to give himself sufficient stir, would make the people believe any doctrine that he might choose to promulgate. Such is his influence, that many believe he could even subvert the authority of the Shah himself, and make his subjects look upon his firmans as worthless, as so much waste paper. But the truth is, he is a good man ”

“ Their ‎object was to reach Ispahan itself, to enter the city in the night, when all was quiet, ‎and to sack the caravanserai, to which the richest merchants were known to resort. ‎Our guide through the great salt desert was to be my master in person, whose ‎experience and local knowledge were greater than that of any of his contemporaries ”

“ Whoever you are, upon whatever errand you may be sent, you cannot have lost the feelings of a man. God will repay your kindness a thousand times; and although we are not of your faith and nation, still we have prayers to put up at the Throne of Grace, which must be received when they are employed in so good a cause.'
Chapter XXXVIII — Sequel of the foregoing history, and of the resolution which Hajji Baba takes in consequence The Armenian youth here finished his narrative, and left me in astonishment and admiration at all he had related. ”

“ His philosophic mind did not appear so much elated with my change of fortune as I had anticipated; but my countrymen, the Persians, as soon as they heard that under that large turban and that heavy pelisse was seated Hajji Baba, the once vender of little wares like themselves, and that all that splendour and circumstance of horse, servants, and rich pipes was attendant upon his person, their national feelings were awakened, and they could neither contain their envy nor their malevolence. ”

“ I found the plan so hazardous, and so little likely to succeed, that I gave it as ‎my opinion that we ought not to attempt it; but my master, putting on his most ‎determined look, said to me, 'Hajji! open your eyes—this is no child's play!—I ‎swear by the beard of the Prophet, that if you do not behave well, I'll burn your ‎father. We have succeeded before, and why should we not be as successful now? ”

“ Then requesting me to approach nearer to him, and in a low and confidential tone of voice, he said, looking over his shoulders as if afraid of being overheard,—'Hajji, you must know that an ambassador from the Franks is lately arrived at this court, in whose suite there is a doctor. This infidel has already acquired considerable reputation here. He treats his patients in a manner quite new to us, and has arrived with a chest full of medicines, of which we do not even know the names. He pretends to the knowledge of a great many things of which we have never yet heard in Persia. ”

“ What fool of a townsman ever risked himself amongst the wild Arabs of the desert without being robbed and beaten? Perhaps Hajji may one day become a wise man, but plentiful is the vexation he must eat first! Of what use is a beard,' said I, taking mine into my hand, 'when an empty sconce is tied to the end of it? about as much as a handle is to a basket without dates. Great wisdom had the sage who declared that no man was ever pleased with the elevation of his fellow, except perhaps when he saw him dangling on a gibbet!'
Hajji curses Shekerleb and her relations. ”

“ After all, men do not die so easily as we Persians imagine. Recollect what the Sheikh says, "Clouds and wind, the moon, the sun, the firmament (and he might have added dervishes) , all are busied, that thou, O man, mayest obtain thy bread: only eat it not in neglect."'
'I am not the man,' said I, 'who will forget your kindness. Perhaps my fortune may again be on the rise, and then I will put my beard into your hand. You know Hajji Baba of old, and that he is not one of those who "exposes his virtues on the palm of his hand, and hides his vices under his armpit." ”

“ Combinations of the mind in all matters of deep interest are formed as quick as thought, and act like the foretellings of prophecy. When I heard that the hakîm was sent for, a cold thrill ran through my veins, and I said to myself, 'Zeenab is lost for ever!'
He came, was soon dismissed, and seeing me at the door of the harem, took me on one side, and said, 'Hajji, the Shah is much enraged. You remember the Cûrdish slave, which I presented to him at the festival of the No Rûz. She has not appeared among the dancing-women, and pretends to be ill. ”

“ Here, as in the case of the immortal Gil Blas of Santillane, with whom Hajji Baba has been not inaptly compared, the infinitely more difficult plan is preferred of exposing the foibles of a people through the mouth of one of their own nationality. Hajji Baba is a Persian of the Persians, typical not merely of the life and surroundings, but of the character and instincts and manner of thought of his countrymen. ”

“ He delights in stripping bare the sham piety of the austere Mohammedan, the gullibility of the pilgrims to the sacred shrines, the sanctimonious humbug of the lantern-jawed devotees of Kum. One of his best portraits is that of the wandering dervish, who befriends and instructs, and ultimately robs Hajji Baba, and who thus explains the secrets of his trade:—
'It is not great learning that is required to make a dervish; assurance is the first ingredient. ”

“ You shall be informed how Hajji Baba accompanied a great ambassador to England, of their adventures by sea and land, of all he saw, and all he remarked, and of what happened to him on his return to Persia.' But he begs to add, should he find, like Hajji's friend the third dervish, he has not yet acquired the art of leading on the attention of the curious, he will never venture to appear again before the public until he has gained the necessary experience to ensure success. ”

“ What sort of religion can theirs be which makes them seek the life of an inoffensive man? I come here, having no one thing to do with either Sûni or Shiah, Sûfi or Mohamedan: on the contrary, out of compliment to them, I go through all the mummery of five washings and five prayings per day, and still that will not satisfy them; however, I will be even with them. I will go; I will leave their vile hypocritical town; and neither will I wash nor pray until necessity obliges me to pass through it again.'
I must own that I was not sorry when I heard the dervish make this resolution. ”

“ He might have been a Sûni—but he was a Shiah. He might have been an unclean Christian—he was a lawful son of Islam. He might have died accursed like a Jew—he has resigned his breath with the profession of the true faith in his mouth. All these are subjects of joy!'
After this manner did he go on; and, having expended all he had to say, left me, to join his voice to the general wailing. Those unclean men, the mûrdeshûr, or washers of the dead, were then called in, who brought with them the bier, in which the corpse was to be carried to the grave. ”

“ Hajji Baba's birth and education My father, Kerbelai Hassan, was one of the most celebrated barbers of ‎Ispahan. He was married, when only seventeen years of age, to the ‎daughter of a chandler, who lived in the neighbourhood of his shop; but ‎the connexion was not fortunate, for his wife brought him no offspring, ‎and he, in consequence, neglected her. His dexterity in the use of a razor ‎had gained for him, together with no little renown, such great custom, ‎particularly among the merchants, that after twenty years' industry, he ‎found he could afford to add a second wife to his harem ”

“ Under different pretexts, convents of his dervishes were established, some in Ispahan itself, and some in Julfa among the Armenians. Most of these have been abandoned, and the buildings fallen into decay; but one whose object more particularly was the propagation of the Christian faith still existed, and to its destruction my endeavours and those of some of our most zealous mollahs were directed, notwithstanding the opposite views of the government, who are anxious to encourage the Christians to settle in Persia, owing to the riches which they introduce by their trade. ”

“ He was so famous for a steady hand, and dexterity in his profession, that he could shave a head, and trim a beard and whiskers, with his eyes blindfolded, without once drawing blood. There was not a man of any fashion at Bagdad who did not employ him; and such a run of business had he, that at length he became proud and insolent, and would scarcely ever touch a head, whose master was not at least a Beg or an Aga. Wood for fuel was always scarce and dear at Bagdad ”

“ Refreshed by this act, and strengthened in my resolutions of leaving Tehran, I tore myself away, and stept valiantly onwards towards Ispahan.
Having reached Kinaragird, without seeing the trace of a caravan, and feeling myself sufficiently strong to proceed on my journey, I pushed on for the caravanserai of the sultan's reservoir, where I intended to halt for the night.
As I came in sight of the building, at some distance in the desert, I saw a man putting himself into strange attitudes, playing antics by himself, and apparently addressing himself to something on the ground. ”

“ The mûshtehed then breaking the silence, said to me:—
'Is it true, O Hajji! that your talleh, your destiny, has turned its face upon you, and that you have come hither to seek refuge? We and the world have long bid adieu to each other; so my questions are not to satisfy curiosity, but to inform me whether I can be of use to you. Our holy Prophet (upon whom be blessings and peace!) sayeth, "Let our faithful followers help each other: those who see, let them lead the blind ”

“ They are paid to administer justice, and wherefore should they sit, with their hands across, counting their beads, when such injustice as that, with which I have been visited, is going about the land seeking for redress?'
'Are you mad, Hajji', rejoined the old man, 'to think of redress from the widow and relations of one of the most powerful emirs of Islam, and that, too, when she is supported by her brothers, two of the richest merchants in Constantinople? Where have you lived all your lifetime, not to know, that he who hath most gold hath most justice? ”

“ No other word need be said,—I will go wherever you command, were it even to fetch the father of all the Franks from the inmost chambers of the world below.'
'Be it so,' said the vizier; 'and as the first step towards it, go at once to Mirza Firouz, flatter and assure him that he is the only man in Persia fit to be sent upon such an embassy, and persuade him of the advantages that will accrue to him. Honour, riches, the goodwill of the Shah, and my protection all will abound; and at his return, God best knows to what heights he may not ascend. ”

“ But here, as the dervish was getting up a plan to appear as a prophet, and when our machinery for performing miracles was nearly completed, he, who had promised eternal youth to thousands, at length paid the debt of nature himself. He had shut himself up in a small hut, situated at the top of a mountain near Herat, where we made the good people believe he was living upon no other food than that which the Gins and Peris brought to him; but unfortunately he actually died of a surfeit, having ate more of a roast lamb and sweetmeats than his nature could support. ”