Hesper

“ Perhaps you think that you are yet too young to turn your mind to such things; but no, Hesper, you are plenty old enough to know whether you can love your old companion more than as a brother; old enough too to think of the new relations and responsibilities which life may bring, and to prepare for them gradually. You can do me much good if you will, Hesper, for there is nothing awakens a young man’s better feelings more effectually, however wayward he may be, than to know that a true hearted, pure minded woman loves him, prays for him, and is willing to trust her happiness to him. ”

“ Upon entering the room she found Juliana seated beside her husband on the sofa, with her sleeping child in her arms. Harry’s arm was around her, and her head rested upon his bosom. He was very pale indeed, and it was evident that both had been weeping.
“Come hither, Hesper,” said Harry, in a voice tremulous with emotion, as he extended his hand towards her, “you see me here, completely conquered. Strong man as I am, I have become weak as a little child before this woman’s love. O Hesper! if there is anything that will save me from destruction, it is that!” ”

“ Grimsby raised her checked apron and wiped away the tears which were flowing freely down her cheeks.
“There!” she said, as she started up with an effort to be cheerful, and drew her shawl around her, “I won’t be a child! but really, Hesper, I care more about such little things than any one would suppose.”
“Then don’t let that thought trouble you any longer” said Hesper, “but send Juliana and the boys to see me, and kiss little Tommy for me, for I shall always love you, and shall come to see you as soon as I am able.” ”

“ The young people laughed when they observed that Hesper blushed deeply, and Mr. Byers immediately offered her a large palm-leaf fan.
“Thee shouldn’t notice it when ladies blush, friend Byers,” said aunt Nyna, as she laid down the letter and regarded Hesper with a pleasant smile. “Once the good child only laughed at such things, but now she blushes, and is silent. Canst thee tell me what makes the difference, Hesper?” ”

“ I fear the poor child is beyond the reach of medicine. His head has been affected from his birth, and he has not sufficient vital energy to meet the trying crisis.”
“Indeed sir!” said Hesper, with a faltering voice and a face white as the drifted snow—“I can’t have our Johnny die.”
“Hesper! Hesper my dear girl!” said aunt Nyna, as she drew her close to her bosom, “be patient, and let the Lord’s will be done.”
“Poor little fellow,” said the doctor, in a soft, sympathizing tone—“it would indeed be a sad loss to those who love him, but to him it would be a most blissful change.” ”

“ Ah, what must we not all already have lost, if the pictures of blissful days win from us nothing but sighs! O tranquillity, tranquillity, thou evening of the soul, thou still Hesper of the weary heart, which always abides beside the sun of virtue, if at thy very name our inner being is dissolved into tears, ah, is not that a sign that we seek thee, but have thee not? ”

“ Hesper took their hands in her own, and looked steadily in their faces. She was very earnest, and her voice trembled, but she talked to them as only a loving and gentle hearted sister could. She told them, in simple words, of their father’s and mother’s sickness—of the weariness and hard labor of Mose, of the helplessness of little Johnny, of her own heavy trials, and then she told them very kindly, but so plainly they could not misunderstand, that now they were old enough to think of these things, and if they could not be of any assistance, they might, at least, try not to add to the trouble. ”

“ Would he have let her love him 'too well'? Books and education and travel are all finite and fragmentary means to an end which never arrives. Only adventurous spirits can escape the torment in them. And, with all her eagerness, Hesper was not adventurous. She was too earnest and humble, she was too direct. Fate had been good to her; and, in giving her nothing, had really given her everything. Everything: that was God. Well, her story had not once referred to Him, but it had been as instinct with Him as a star with light. ”

“ With a light, mocking laugh, Sepia turned away, and left the room.
Hesper did not move. If stillness indicates thought, then Hesper was thinking; and surely of late she had suffered what might have waked something like thought in what would then have been something like a mind: all the machinery of thought was there—sorely clogged, and rusty; but for a woman to hate her husband is hardly enough to make a thinking creature of her. ”

“ But this question was too far beyond Hesper. She did not even choose to hear it.
"And," she said, resuming her definition instead, "the nobleman deals with great things, the shopkeeper with small."
"When things are finally settled," said Mary—"Gracious, Mary!" cried Hesper, "what do you mean? Are not things settled for good this many a century? I am afraid I have been harboring an awful radical!—a—what do they call it?—a communist!" ”

“ Clotilda, the Hesper of those two fair evenings, was like the Hesperus in the sky, not to be seen over St. Luna. As we said, it was a wretched state for him. And now, in addition to all this, that Zeusel, his future landlord, the Court Apothecary, was, so to speak, a fool, full as light as his Berlin, or as the court-fourier, with whom he came, but fifty-three years older than the carriage, that is to say, fifty-four years old, and, taken for all in all, a human diminutive and vinegar-eel in body and soul, peaked in all respects, in chin, nose, wit, head, lips, and shoulder. ”

“ Now I think it is best for me to die, for if I grow up to be a man, I may become wicked and careless again, and I should never be ready to go. But let me tell now, Miss Hesper, while I am able, it is your love and kindness that makes me feel so happy, and I hope God will bless you for it forever and ever.”
Poor Hesper’s loving heart was so deeply moved by the boy’s earnestness, that she could not speak. She could only put her handkerchief to her face and weep like a child. ”

“ Years have intervened since then, but even now, in a pleasant cottage by the brook, where the spring flowers bloom earliest and the autumn leaves are last to fall, dwells Hesper, the Home Spirit, for her mission is not yet ended. Joyful little ones, with dancing feet and smiling countenances, come and go over the threshold, and he who chose that star of peace as the guide to his earthly pathway, still walks by her serene light, rejoicing in a “love that never faileth.” ”

“ She listened to the sound of his footsteps as he went down the pathway, and then falling upon her knees beside her chair, she wept in agony of spirit. There was but one refuge for her. The arms of Infinite Love were open to her, and like a storm-beaten dove she cast herself into them, as into an ark of safety, praying only that the void in her heart might be filled with something higher and holier than aught that earth could give.
A few days after this, Juliana came, and with tears in her eyes, opened her whole heart to Hesper. ”

“ As she spoke, she stooped down, and loosening the handkerchief under Hesper’s chin, she tied the hood upon her head in its place. The poor girl, worn down by watching and anxiety, had come to the doctor’s house with many misgivings, and thus to meet with such unexpected favor and kindness quite overcame her. She could not speak, but the great tears, more eloquent than words, chased each other swiftly down her cheeks. ”

“ The silence was broken, and moved as by one impulse, both boys rushed towards her and hid their faces in her lap.
“Don’t cry, Hesper,” sobbed Fred, “don’t cry! and we will do all we can to help you. We do want to be good boys, but we don’t know how.” ”

“ Come, say yes, directly,” said the old man, with great animation.
“Well, yes,” replied Hesper, thoughtfully, “but, then, we shall want a hall and lights, and books and stationery [210] .”
“O, never mind that!” said Mr. Byers—“that’s just nothing as a hinderance. We can easily get all we want somehow.”
“But how?” said Hesper.
“O, now don’t be discouraging,” said the old man entreatingly, “for I have really set my heart upon this matter. If you will only just take right hold, and stir round, and talk to one and another, it will come all right, I haven’t a doubt.” ”

“ The tears streamed down Hesper’s cheeks as he spoke. “O, Mr. Clyde!” she said earnestly, “believe me, although there is so much of deception in the worlds that you will find many, many women much better than my own poor self. There are many pure and faithful hearts filled with a never failing fountain of affection, scattered up and down in the world, but you will find that they scarce ever beat beneath silken garments and glancing jewels. Look for true love rather among those who serve humbly and suffer long, for the heart grows tender and truthful under the discipline of sorrow. ”

“ But Hesper heard not; she had never looked on death before, and it was too great a trial for her loving heart. With a faint moan she sank down by the bed-side, and when aunt Nyna raised her up, she found the poor girl had fainted. ”

“ Hesper was human after all, though her humanity was only molluscous as yet, and it is not in the power of humanity in any stage of development to hold itself indifferent to the pleasure of being loved. Also, poor as is the feeling comparatively, it is yet a reflex of love itself—the shine of the sun in a rain-pool.
She walked up to Mary, holding out her hand.
"O ma'am, I am so glad to see you!" exclaimed Mary, forgetting her manners in her love.
"I, too, am glad," drawled Hesper, genuinely, though with condescension. "I hope you are well. I can not say you look so." ”

“ Just then, Hesper wished that aunt Betsey was dead herself, or that she never could hear her speak again. He “a poor miserable creature!” Wouldn’t he always be a comfort and consolation to those who loved him, if he should live a hundred years? So she reasoned, and she could not see it otherwise; though when the first gush of sorrow was over, she felt that the doctor had spoken truly, and that the better world would give to the poor child, blessings and powers he never could enjoy below. ”

“ But it does mean, that under all difficulties or discouragements, true love never fails or grows weary, but remains the same forever and ever. It is just like God himself.”
“Then,” said Hesper, as she glanced towards her father, “I will not mind it much if he doesn’t love me, for it will make me very happy if in one little thing I can be like God.”
“Your father wasn’t always so, Hesper,” said her mother, as the tears streamed down her pale cheeks. She turned her face over into her pillow, and while Hesper was finishing the chapter, she thought of the first years of their wedded life. ”

“ Redmain a little, if she were supposed to have used influence on his side. That, however, must not seem to Hesper. Sepia did not yet know in fact upon what ground she had to build.
For some time she had been trying to get nearer to Hesper, but—much like Hesper's experience with her—had found herself strangely baffled, she could not tell how—the barrier being simply the half innocence, half ignorance, of Hesper. When minds are not the same, words do not convey between them. ”

“ Brown, and as Hesper looked in the direction in which he pointed, she saw Mose sitting upon a log near the mill-dam. She thanked Mr. Brown as he left her, and then stole up softly behind her brother. He had an old coat thrown over his shoulders—his elbows rested upon his knees, and his face was covered with his hands.
“Poor fellow,” thought Hesper, “how tired and hungry he must be!” She gathered up her great shawl, and then clasped her arm closely about his neck. ”

“ Charlie cried, and Fred scolded.
“There,” said he, “the Grimsby boys have stolen him, and I’ll call them thieves every time I see them. If it wasn’t for Hesper, I would tumble them both into the duck pond. I’ll call them thieves though, anyhow.”
“No, no,” said Hesper, who stood close behind them. She had heard the crying and came out to see what it meant. “If you begin with hard names, you will soon come to blows. Leave it to me, and see if I can’t get your rabbit again, without any trouble. ”

“ She put Tommy on the floor to play with simple Johnny, and then took her seat by Hesper. She had brought her thimble with her and went to work directly. At first she was awkward, and had to be told a great many things, but she soon learned, and then was quicker with her needle than Hesper.
“How strange it is,” said Hesper, “when I get almost discouraged, something always happens to cheer me. Do you know, Juliana, I was just ready to cry when you came in this morning?” ”

“ Redmain with all her heart; first, because Hesper Mortimer hates him, and next, but twice as much, because she is going to love him. It is a great pity you should have him, Hesper. I wish you would hand him over to me. I shouldn't mind what he was. I should soon tame him."
"You ought to be ashamed of yourself," said Hesper, with righteous indignation. "You would not mind what he was! "
Sepia laughed—this time her curious half-laugh.
"If I did, I wouldn't marry him, Hesper," she said. "Which is worse—not to mind, and marry him; or to mind, and marry him all the same? ”

“ Hesper’s eyes filled with tears and her lips quivered—“I don’t know sir,” said she, “but I think the Lord would care for us.”
“Poor, simple child!” said her father—“there are a great many people left to the care of the Lord, who perish miserably. Think of the fathers, and mothers, and little children, who die for want of bread, and of the wretched beings in our great cities, with scarce a mouthful of food and no shelter from the heat of summer, or the piercing cold of winter. Does the Lord care for them?” ”