Joseph-Victor Vidocq

“ The first time we were alone he asked me if I intended to escape. "I have no thoughts of it," replied I, "I am but too glad that they allow me to work. But Jossas possessed my secret, and he arranged all for my escape. I had a plain dress which I concealed under my galley clothes without the knowledge even of my yoke-fellow. A moving screw had supplied the place of the rivet in my fetters, and I was ready to start. The third day after leaving my companions I went out to labour, and presented myself before the argousin; "Get along, good-for-naught," said Father Mathieu, "it is not time." ”

“ In this capacity Vidocq was extremely successful, for he possessed unbounded energy and a real genius for hunting down criminals. In 1827, having saved a considerable sum of money, he retired from his post and started a paper-mill, the work-people in which were drawn entirely from ex-convicts. The venture, however, was a failure, and in 1832 Vidocq re-entered the police service and was employed mainly in political work, though given no special office. ”

“ Can it be? Yes, by Heaven, it is the great Vidocq with his faithful Coco-Latour! We breathe again, for now we know that the innocent man is safe. The procession, however, approaches. The condemned man speaks from below to his daughter in the balcony. He declares his innocence. Now good Vidocq, to the rescue. Display all your arts, convict the guilty, disguised Marquis, and save the estimable Lebrun! But Vidocq looks on impassive, a dull thud is heard and the head of the innocent rolls into the basket. Immediately afterwards Yvrier staggers in. ”

“ When you owe any one a spite, you have only to blow at his head, and he would instantly fail."
"You think so, do you?" said Chante à l'heure, striking the table. "Suppose I told you that he had slit a woman's weasand!"
"Not so loud, Chante à l'heure; not so loud," said I, putting my finger significantly on my lips. "You know very well that at Lorcefée (La Force) walls have ears; and you must not turn nose against a comrade." ”

“ I confessed all my extravagancies, adding that within two months I must pay more than four thousand francs, of which I had not a single sous.
"At these words Lemaire looked fixedly at me, with a gaze I can never forget all my life, be it long or short. 'Captain,' said he, 'I will not forsake you in your difficulties, but one confidence deserves another; nothing should be kept from a man who has saved you from—' and with a horrid smile he passed his hand across his throat. I trembled, and looked at Josephine. ”

“ The devil!' added he, addressing Fanfan and me, 'how awkward it is; I did not think of quitting so soon; but as they say, he who reckons without his host, reckons twice: never mind.'
"Belle-Rose then taking his glass in his right hand, knocked several times on the table, and whilst the other guests withdrew, a waiting-maid entered. 'The bill, and send your master;' and the master came with the bill of our expenses. 'Astonishing how soon it mounts up,' observed Belle-Rose: 'one hundred and ninety livres, twelve sous, six deniers! Ah! M. Nivet, do you want to skin us alive? ”

“ The person who had so much alarmed me, was no other than Villedieu, the captain of the 13th chasseurs, with whom I had been intimately acquainted at Lille. Although surprised to see me with a hat covered with waxed cloth, a smock frock, and leathern gaiters, he testified much pleasure at the meeting, and invited me to supper, saying that he had some marvellous narratives to tell me. He was not in his uniform, but this did not astonish me, as the officers commonly wore common clothes when staying in Paris. ”

“ In spite of the crime he had committed, much interest was evinced in his favour, or rather towards his children, and many inhabitants of his district had drawn up and presented petitions in his favour, which were as yet unanswered, and the unfortunate man was in despair, often repeating that he would give such and such a sum for his liberty. Grouard and Herbaux, who were in St Peter's Tower, waiting to be sent to the gallies, thought they could get him pardoned by means of a memorial, which they drew up, or rather plotted together ”

“ M. de Gournay looked with intense curiosity at the celebrated Vidocq, the wily, formidable sleuth-hound whose name was already a terror to whom it might concern: a broad-shouldered massive-headed man, whose appearance, out of service, was that of some sturdy, good-tempered sailor. On duty, there was none who could assume more convincingly the most unlikely disguises.
Vidocq studied the card, repressed a grin of satisfaction, saluted with the hand and disappeared. ”

“ Always at war with the convicts, he knew every one of their tricks. His mistrust was so excessive, that he often accused them of plotting when they were not at all thinking of it. It may be supposed that it was no easy matter to make a sop for this Cerberus. I tried however to procure his favour, an attempt in which no one had as yet succeeded: but I soon found that I had not essayed in vain; for I perceptibly gained on his good will. Father Mathieu sometimes talked to me ”

“ Without replying, she took my arm, and opening a door let into the pannel, made me enter a low room where eight men and women were playing at cards and drinking brandy, &c. "Here," said my guide, presenting me to the goodly party, much astonished at the appearance of a nun, "here is a sister come to convert you all." At the same time I tore off my handkerchief, and three of the party, whom I had met at the Bagne, recognized me; they were Berry, Bidaut Mauger, and the young Goupy, whom I had met at Quimper; the others were fugitives from the Bagne of Rochfort. ”

“ However, I felt very I don't-know-howish about it; because, you see, when you are not used to a job of the kind, you feel queerish a bit. But, never mind, all was settled; when next morning, at the Quatre-Cheminées, near Sevres, we met with Voivenel and another pal. Blignon told the business to them, at the same time stating his objection to the murder. They thereupon proposed to give us a hand if we chose. 'Agreed,' replied Blignon: 'where there is enough for two, there is enough for four:' thus we settled it, and they were to be in the rig with us. ”

“ That the ninth Prairial last, there was found in one of the dungeons of the house of confinement at Douai, a brass seal without a top, hid at the foot of a bed; that the said Vidocq had slept there previously; that the seal is the same as that which was found attached to the forged order, and presents a precisely similar impression; that, after the visit of the said judge of the south of Douai, made on the day before, from the dungeon in which the said Vidocq then was, they heard, on turning over the straw bed, something fell, sounding like brass or silver ”

“ That grim, wicked old man; not a thousand times a thousand livres would give him the key to Heaven. Brother Jacques left the tavern and walked along the wharves, breathing deeply of the vigorous sea-air.
Victor encountered the vicomte as the latter was about to go aboard.
"Ah," said the vicomte; "so you ran about with a drawn sword last night? Monsieur, you are only a boy." The vicomte never lost his banter; it was a habit.
"I was hot-headed and in wine." Victor had an idea in regard to the vicomte.
"The devil is always lurking in the pot; so let us not stir him again." ”

“ An old man, whom they had just tied to the fatal plank, was the victim; suddenly I heard the sound of trumpets. On a high place which overlooked the orchestra, was seated a man, still young, clad in a Carmagnole of black and blue stripes. This person, whose appearance announced monastic rather than military habits, was leaning carelessly on a cavalry sabre, the large hilt of which represented the Cap of Liberty; a row of pistols ornamented his girdle, and his hat, turned up in the Spanish fashion, was surmounted by a large tri-coloured cockade: I recognised Joseph Lebon. ”

“ The wine was not spared, and so well did it loosen every tongue, that before the close of the repast, I had learned the abode of Gueuvive, as well as that of his worthy coadjutor, Joubert, and the names of many of their comrades; at the moment of our separating I hinted that I did not exactly know where I should procure a bed, and Joubert immediately offered to give me a night's lodging with him, and conducted me to Rue St Jaques, where he occupied a back room on the second-floor, there I shared with him the bed of his mistress, the girl Cornevin. ”

“ Grouard, hearing Boitel so often repeat that he would willingly give a hundred crowns to procure his liberty, had planned with Herbaux the means of getting him out, and they had devised no mode so simple as that of forging a false order. Boitel was let into the plot, as may be supposed: they only told him, that as there were many persons to gain over, he must give four hundred francs. It was then that they applied for my chamber, which was indispensable for the due concoction and forging of the order, without being perceived by the other prisoners ”

“ Count Zeula, I should be pleased if you would ride with me; and you, too, gentlemen, if so inclined."
"Thank God we shall have a King," I heard some one mutter, and then Mr. Smith and I were alone again, waiting for our horses.
"Am I wise?" I asked.
"Yes, Victor, I think you are, only I am nervous for your safety."
"I feel that nothing could hurt me to-day," I said, laughing. "But there is one thing I have forgotten, I wish Bauen to ride with us, to let the people see that loyalty such as his is not forgotten by my family."
"God made you a King before ever you came to Rudarlia, Victor." ”

“ My late pretty mistress, the young vihodar's wife, is no more. Her father fancies that he has married her to the pastor of Great Leta; but his reverence also is no longer to be found on the face of the earth. The people of Great Leta have already provided themselves with another curer of souls, and his wife is an old woman with a hunch on her back. Henry Vihodar firmly believes that his wife has perished in his burning house, from which, indeed, no living soul could possibly have escaped when once the sulphur and the tar caught fire. Besides, the young headsman will soon marry again. ”

“ I have no ambition, and all the Olympiens are like me; they despise the miserable distinction which rank confers." I asked who the Olympiens were? "They are," he replied, "men who adore liberty, and seek equality: will you be an Olympien? For if so, say the word, and you shall be admitted instantly."
I thanked M. Bertrand, adding, that I did not see any necessity to enrol myself in a society to which the attention of the police would be drawn sooner or later. ”

“ He next joins a player of Punch, to whose wife he enacts Romeo with better grace, and during one of the representations, the married people break each others heads, and Vidocq runs off during the affray. He then becomes assistant to a quack doctor, and the favoured swain of an actress; gets into the Bourbon regiment, where he is nicknamed Reckless, and kills two men, and fights fifteen duels in six months. His other exploits are as a corporal of grenadiers, of course, a deserter, and a prisoner of the revolution. He then marries, but does not reform. ”

“ I have sometimes a holy warmth in conversation, for the good of the State and of Monseigneur, to whom I am entirely devoted.”
“Ah, who knows it better than I, reverend father? But render me justice; you also know how completely I am attached to his Eminence the Cardinal, to whom I owe all. Alas! I have employed too much zeal in serving him, since he reproaches me with it.”
“Reassure yourself,” said Joseph; “he bears no ill-will toward you. I know him well; he can appreciate one’s actions in favor of one’s family. He, too, is a very good relative.” ”

“ I was as eager in accepting the invitation as St Germain could possibly be in giving it; both Boudin and himself seemed much pleased with my zeal. Who my remaining coadjutor was I knew not, but my surmises on the subject were soon settled by the arrival of a man, a perfect stranger to myself, named Debenne. He was the driver of a cabriolet, the father of a large family, and a man, who, more from weak than bad principles, had allowed himself to be seduced by the temptations of his guilty companions. ”

“ In passing through the common assembly, Victor saw Du Puys and Bouchard in conversation with the Jesuits. Brother Jacques glanced carelessly in the Chevalier's direction, frowned at some thought, and turned his head away. The Iroquois had fallen asleep in a chair close to the fire. In a far corner Victor discovered the form of the Vicomte d'Halluys; he was apparently sleeping on his arms, which were extended across the table.
"Why do I dislike that man?" Victor asked in thought. "There is something in his banter which strikes me as coming from a man consumed either by hate or envy." ”

“ The members of the secret police appearing in these stories have all a vague likeness to Vidocq, whose alleged memoirs were published in 1828, a few years before the author of the 'Human Comedy' began to deal with the scheming of the underworld. Balzac's spies and his detectives are not convincing, despite his utmost effort; and we do not believe in their preternatural acuteness. Even in the conduct of their intrigues we are lost in a murky mistiness. Balzac is at his best when he is arousing the emotions of recognition; and he is at his worst when he sinks to evoking the emotions of surprize. ”