Mr. Snodgrass

“ Micklewham, with as much brevity as was consistent with perspicuity; and the matter being duly digested by Mr. Snodgrass, that orthodox young man—as Mrs. Glibbans denominated him, on hearing him for the first time—declared that the notion of a pay-christening was a benevolent and kind thought: “For, is not the order to increase and multiply one of the first commands in the Scriptures of truth?” said Mr. Snodgrass, addressing himself to Mr. Craig. “Surely, then, when children are brought into the world, a great law of our nature has been fulfilled, and there is cause for rejoicing and gladness! ”

“ Craig, speak of sic baubles, when the word of God’s in danger of being controverted by an Act of Parliament. But, Mr. Snodgrass, dinna ye think that this painting of the queen’s face is a Jezebitical testification against her?” Mr. Snodgrass replied, with an unwonted sobriety of manner, and with an emphasis that showed he intended to make some impression on his auditors—“It is impossible to judge correctly of strangers by measuring them according to our own notions of propriety. It has certainly long been a practice in courts to disfigure the beauty of the human countenance with paint ”

“ They found the scientist tired out with his long and unsuccessful search for the rare butterfly.
“Maybe Noddy’s troubles have sent him temporarily out of his mind,” said Mr. Snodgrass. “I think it is our duty to do what we can for him, even if he has, in the past, acted as the enemy of you boys. We’ll go see him in the morning.”
They started off early the next day for Noddy’s camp. As they approached they saw the youth standing in the same place he had occupied the previous day.
“Hey, Noddy!” called Jerry when still some distance away from him.
“The wind is blowing the wrong way. ”

“ Who more in need of sustenance than the infant, that knows not the way even to its mother’s bosom? And whom shall we clothe, if we do not the wailing innocent, that the hand of Providence places in poverty and nakedness before us, to try, as it were, the depth of our Christian principles, and to awaken the sympathy of our humane feelings?”
Mr. Craig replied, “It’s a’ very true and sound what Mr. Snodgrass has observed; but Tam Glen’s wean is neither a stranger, nor hungry, nor naked, but a sturdy brat, that has been rinning its lane for mair than sax weeks.” ”

“ He took his weapon, a combination rifle and shot gun, while the others went on ahead of him.
“Looks as though there was a path here,” said Jerry, pointing to a sort of trail through the woods.
“So it does,” admitted Mr. Snodgrass. “Well, so much the better for us.”
“Unless it has been made by a band of Indians or some ugly negroes,” said Jerry in a low tone. “I’ve read there are some black men who live in the swamps about here, and that they are worse than Indians.”
“Better call to Bob to come up front with his gun,” spoke Ned.
“No, it might alarm the professor,” replied Jerry. ”

“ They may be anxious about us.” But Ned knew Harvey Brill had some other reason.
Jerry, Bob and Jim Nestor were greatly surprised on the return of the hunters, and more so when they heard the story. As for Professor Snodgrass, nothing seemed to worry him. He went on collecting his bugs, classifying them and making notes about them, as if nothing had happened.
“Don’t go too far away,” advised Mr. Brill to the little scientist, when the latter was about to start out again after hearing the story of the bear.
“Why not?” mildly inquired Mr. Snodgrass. ”

“ Mrs. Tod inquired the matter; and three or four voices at once replied, that an express had come from Garnock for Nanse Swaddle the midwife, Mrs. Craig being taken with her pains. “Mr. Snodgrass,” said Mrs. Glibbans, instantly and emphatically, “ye maun let me go with you, and we can spiritualise on the road; for I hae promis’t Mrs. Craig to be wi’ her at the crying, to see the upshot—so I hope you will come awa.”
It would be impossible in us to suppose, that Mr. Snodgrass had any objections to spiritualise with Mrs. Glibbans on the road between Irvine and Garnock ”

“ ‘I don’t know,’ replied Mr. Pickwick, in the same tone. ‘Hush. Don’t ask any questions. It’s always best on these occasions to do what the mob do.’
‘But suppose there are two mobs?’ suggested Mr. Snodgrass.
‘Shout with the largest,’ replied Mr. Pickwick.
Volumes could not have said more. ”

“ Snodgrass devotes a chapter to the parvenues at Newport. By the parvenu—his definition may not be scientific—he seems to mean a person who is vulgar, but has money, and tries to get into society on the strength of his money alone. He is more to be pitied than any other sort of rich man. For he not only works hard and suffers humiliation in getting his place in society, but after he is in he works just as hard, and with bitterness in his heart, to keep out other parvenues like himself. And this is misery.
But our visitors did not care for the philosophizing of Mr. ”

“ Snodgrass. The offer relieved him from considerable embarrassment, for his previous notions of loading a pistol were rather vague and undefined.
"We may place our men, then, I think," observed the officer, with as much indifference as if the principals were chess-men, and the seconds players.
"I think we may," replied Mr. Snodgrass; who would have assented to any proposition, because he knew nothing about the matter. The officer crossed to Doctor Slammer, and Mr. Snodgrass went up to Mr. Winkle. ”

“ Winkle was always remarkable for extreme humanity. It is conjectured that his unwillingness to hurt a fellow-creature intentionally was the cause of his shutting his eyes when he arrived at the fatal spot; and that the circumstance of his eyes being closed, prevented his observing the very extraordinary and unaccountable demeanour of Doctor Slammer. That gentleman started, stared, retreated, rubbed his eyes, stared again, and, finally, shouted, "Stop, stop!"
"What's all this?" said Doctor Slammer, as his friend and Mr. Snodgrass came running up; "that's not the man." ”

“ Snodgrass, clasping his friend's hand.
"With a doctor—Doctor Slammer, of the Ninety-seventh," said Mr. Winkle, wishing to make the matter appear as solemn as possible; "an affair with an officer, seconded by another officer, at sunset this evening, in a lonely field beyond Fort Pitt."
"I will attend you," said Mr. Snodgrass.
He was astonished, but by no means dismayed. It is extraordinary how cool any party but the principal can be in such cases. Mr. Winkle had forgotten this. He had judged of his friend's feelings by his own.
"The consequences may be dreadful," said Mr. Winkle. ”

“ Bing was shocked. They had a talk about it up in Phyllis' bedroom at the end of which Mrs. Bing repeated that familiar injunction, "Don't tell father!"
It was soon after the party that Mr. J. Patterson Bing sent for William Snodgrass, the carpenter. He wanted an extension built on his house containing new bedrooms and baths and a large sun parlor. The estimate of Snodgrass was unexpectedly large. In explanation of the fact the latter said: "We work only eight hours a day now. The men demand it and they must be taken to and from their work. They can get all they want to do on those terms." ”

“ Snodgrass earnestly, as he came forward, holding in his hand a little bug, of which he seemed to take great care. He had been so interested in its capture that he had taken little notice of the landing on the lake.
“We’ll try a flight over the water, perhaps a trip out to sea for a few miles, and back again,” [106] said Jerry. “Now that it works all right, I’m not afraid to go anywhere in the Comet.”
“But first we go to Danforth,” said Ned.
“Of course, to see Mr. Jackson. There’s no reason why we can’t start to-morrow or the next day,” said the tall lad. ”

“ Professor Snodgrass brought up in the rear, with his small butterfly net over his shoulder, and an empty specimen box in his hand, ready for whatever he might see in the way of insects.
Meanwhile Bob, Ned and Jerry were making their way to where they had been told were the offices of the company that had arranged the balloon meet. As the boys walked along they asked several men they met whether Mr. Jackson had arrived, but they could obtain no information. ”

“ On the fourteenth day after the departure of the family from the manse, the Rev. Mr. Charles Snodgrass, who was appointed to officiate during the absence of the Doctor, received the following letter from his old chum, Mr. Andrew Pringle. It would appear that the young advocate is not so solid in the head as some of his elder brethren at the Bar; and therefore many of his flights and observations must be taken with an allowance on the score of his youth.
LETTER IV Andrew Pringle, Esq., Advocate, to the Rev. Charles Snodgrass
London. ”

“ Doctor Slammer and his friends repaired to the barracks, and Mr. Winkle, accompanied by his friend, Mr. Snodgrass, returned to their inn.
↑ Although we find this circumstance recorded as a "singular" one, in Mr. Pickwick's note-book, we cannot refrain from humbly expressing our dissent from that learned authority. The stranger's anecdote is not one quarter so wonderful as some of Mr. Jesse's "Gleanings." Ponto sinks into utter insignificance before the dogs whose actions he records.—Ed. ”

“ Snodgrass was a good deal agitated; he was taken by surprise, and without words the Doctor might have guessed his sentiments; he, however, frankly confessed that he did entertain a very high opinion of Miss Bell, but that he was not sure if a country parish would exactly suit him. “Never mind that,” said the Doctor; “if it does not fit at first, you will get used to it; and if a better casts up, it will be no obstacle.” ”

“ Quick!” yelled the professor, and, as they reached him, breathless, Jerry asked:
[208]
“What is it; are you hurt?”
“Hurt? No!” exclaimed the little scientist, and there was triumph in his tones. “Look!”
He pointed to a small box on his table, and from it came a subdued glow, as though a whole box of the old-fashioned sulphur matches had been dampened.
“The luminous snakes!” exclaimed Professor Snodgrass. “See them shine with light! They are the true illustris serpensus! I am a most fortunate man! My name will be engraven on the roll of fame! ”

“ Today in the taxi she had deliberately set herself to fascinate him, and had succeeded well. She had been demurely tantalizing—holding him at a distance, letting him come a little nearer, bringing him up sharply; all the tricks of the trade executed with a perfection of technic and a mastery of effect. Snodgrass, with all his experience, was but a novice in her hands; she always struck directly at the affections—got them: and then the rest was easy. She never lost her head, nor allowed her own affections to become involved ”

“ Indeed, Professor Snodgrass was fairly running now, and it could not be doubted, from what the boys knew of him, that he was after some creature to add to his collection of strange bugs.
Suddenly the little man, as if in pursuit of a [37] flying object, turned quickly to the left, and, as he did so, Ned cried:
“He’d better watch out! That path leads to the edge of the cliff where they’ve been taking out gravel above Limestone Creek. There’s a sharp fall there, and there was a slide there last week. It’s dangerous!”
“We’d better call to him,” suggested Jerry. “Hi, there, Professor Snodgrass!” ”

“ Snuggs was neither more nor less than a gay deceiver. She denied that she had ever "kicked up a row" in his chambers—she had merely told him of his faults and his failings; and she hoped his worship would not think of separating her from her children.
The magistrate immediately dismissed the charge; the damsel smiled triumphantly; and Mr. Snuggs, like a tall elderly gentleman as he was, stalked out of the office, sighing—as who should say, "The Gods are just, and of our pleasant vices make instruments to scourge us!" ”

“ The hermit has gone over the mountain. Come, and I will take you to his hut, and you can see where he has murdered travelers.”
The boys hardly knew whether to obey or not, but a nod from Professor Snodgrass, to whom they [183] looked, indicated they were to do as the woman wanted. So they arose and prepared to follow her. The professor brought up the rear. ”

“ Look! They’re coming right at us! We’d better get some clubs, stones, or something.”
“How would it be to run?” asked Bob. “If they don’t want us here we’d better get out!”
“No, don’t do that,” advised Professor Snodgrass. “The minute you turn your backs they’ll spring, and a mountain lion can cover a good bit of ground in a leap. Keep facing them!”
“But for how long?” asked Jerry nervously. “They’re coming nearer all the while! Say, they’re ugly beasts!”
“Get out your jackknife and open the biggest blade,” advised Ned, in a low voice. “It’s our only chance!” ”

“ Snodgrass. “She seems a queer creature.”
“She is,” answered the hermit. “She is harmless enough, except when aroused, and her great trouble is in thinking that I am a murderer.”
“What makes her think such a thing?” asked Jerry.
“Because she is slightly crazy,” said the hermit. “She was in these woods when I came here, and, in time we grew to be good friends. It seems that years ago her whole family was killed by the Indians, she alone escaping. It turned her brain, and ever since then, she imagines that nearly all men are murderers. ”

“ Ned and Jerry, with no particular object in view, wandered about the camp. It was true nothing could be done or learned until Dr. Snodgrass returned, and the boys, knowing his eagerness when he was searching for specimens, realized he would not come back until called by darkness. [187] Even the pangs of hunger were often ignored by the little scientist.
“There’s no use trying to follow the trail, I suppose,” observed Ned, after a time, which they had occupied by looking about. They saw where the professor had left his spare nets, and where he had carefully put away his filled specimen boxes. ”