Viktor Pinchuk

“ They always worked as a duet, filling in the pauses between the performances of real artists: jugglers, magicians, acrobats. It was rumored that many of the regulars came to the circus just to see these two. When the ringmaster, not without the help of a joke on duty, announced the entry of this pair into the arena, the ranks applauded enthusiastically, and somebody usually supplemented the applause with exclamations of approval. A clown in a stupid cap and a little monkey with sad eyes — you can't imagine of a more funnier duet. ”

“ How can you live if you don't expect anything? He began to miss the old days when he spent time counting down the days before climbing, striving for something, waiting for a meeting with the peaks.
Somehow, on one of the same, similar to each other days, he decided to return: he went out to the cliff, looked at the mountain range, and stepped down into the past.
"Perhaps in a previous life I was a hermit living in the mountains..." — he joked sometimes. — Do you believe in the transmigration of souls?" ”

“ In Crimea, there is a natural landmark named "Bath of the Youth ". I called the recess with running water in the jungles of Angola "the bath of my own stupidity." When you enter the so-called "fear room" of the Czechoslovak Luna Park, you realize that there is nothing terrible there, but it is still alarming from the expectation of "surprises". I experienced similar emotions while sitting in the "stupidity bath": the water falls down with a crash, and it seems that it is about to take away. ”

“ I asked an elderly Black woman who was riding next to me. "Weapons and ammunition," she replied in a calm voice, spitting seeds, "In our area, many are armed."
Before going to Kotido the capital of Karamoja region, one of the most dangerous areas of Uganda, I once again asked several aborigines how reasonable it would be to visit this area. They amicably confirmed the information I had, but they talked about it as if they did not recommend watching the movie "Friday the 13th" at night.
From the town of Lira to the village of Kotido to about 12-14 hours drive. ”

“ I had no desire to go at the outskirts of the city at such a late time, where inexpensive guest houses are located, and the prices for hotel accommodation in the central part of the city turned out to be higher than my modest capabilities.
Should I try to contact the police? The law enforcement officers took the request in a peculiar way, bombarding the strange (in their understanding) guest with questions of a domestic nature. According to their understanding, if a foreigner does not have money, he should stay at home, and if he has money, he should live in a hotel. ”

“ Apnea African After a dozen meters, I came to a wonderful-looking "beach": a small strip of coastal sand, a quiet backwater — a cross between paradise and an advertising picture from a travel magazine. Usually don't swim on trips: firstly, I carry everything of value on myself, and secondly, water in Africa can be unsafe, hiding a lot of infections. ”

“ The lead singer was dressed in gray-blue overalls, reminiscent of a sanitary technician's uniform uniform, and a monkey wrench made of Styrofoam was sticking out from his front pocket. The group's compositions were like drinking songs that are performed on New Year's Eve, on Salary Day and other festivities, by plumbers, spliting a bottle three ways. "The goal of our creativity is to get close to the people..." ”

“ A horde of savages with loud screaming pursued the uninvited guest. The war paint of the faces, loincloths made of palm leaves, and bird feathers in different parts of the body — all this was terrifying and awe-inspiring. The sharp spears of the pursuers are about to stick into the overtaken victim. ”

“ Many retail outlets, shops, hairdressing salons; hustle and bustle reigns everywhere, as if you are in the middle of a large, anthill. White people do not walk the streets — they are afraid, — moving only in cars; by the way, there are few of them: the black population predominates. There are beggars of European appearance — I've seen them twice.
Exchange currency for local money — rand — is possible only with great losses, because should paid commission, be it a private or state exchange office. Residents of neighboring countries have got used to making an exchange in Indian shops. ”

“ A person who thinks pragmatically is unlikely to end up in deserted places where the Himba tribe lives. Most likely, he will not go to this part of Africa at all... without a guide. However, why a guide if you have a TV? The flies are dying, longing reigns everywhere: how boring are they, lovers of beach tourism and corporate events... ”

“ Only one drawback was noticed by an attentive "viewer" (I'm sure the members of the paradise commune would have added it to the list of advantages) : it is forbidden to go outside...
"Paradise in which there is no way to leave territory is hell for a traveler," — thought when woke up. It's better with homeless people at the train station than in such a paradise... ”

“ A vendor with a tray full of fried scorpions holds a sign with the cost of... shooting an unusual dish. Probably there are more people who want to take a photo of a delicacy than those who are hungry to taste it.
Zambia: a creeping dish Three years have passed since returning from my last expedition to Africa, but I still keep a couple of dried caterpillars. The rest was distributed to friends: for tasting.
A large tree caterpillar lives on a mopane tree and feeds on its foliage. At the same time, it serves as food for residents of Zambia and some neighboring countries. ”

“ But since our material capabilities don't always coincide with our desires, here is the result: I liked the Epupa more than the world-famous Victoria Falls. There are no concrete paths (for tourists a la beachgoer) ; practically no signs of civilization, nature are preserved in its original form. ”

“ For some reason, impossible to believe his own kind: no matter how infallible a two-legged, who tries to pretend to be like a god, he always "misfired", getting confused in words and promises. Sometimes a human does not even believe in himself. ”

“ After spending two days in a school-apartment, I decided that it was time to part with the ostrich habit and move on: the city is so gray and featureless that it is difficult to find an object even for a newspaper and reportage photograph. Shared the idea with the owner. He agreed. Two more groups, questions and answers, and that's it — the practice is over. On the eve of departure, I spoke with the motorcyclist who brought me. The guy confirmed that hitchhiking is possible, adding that he himself resorted to such a method. ”

“ It turned out that the village of Karamojong people is located just one and a half kilometers from the center of civilization of the state with a bank and a post office.
After half an hour, I saw exotic-looking individuals with a burden on their heads. They were not dressed at all like the settlers of Kotido, (who sometimes even dressed in a classic suit and tie) and looked very much like the tribe I was looking for. ”

“ Afghanistan is number one, followed by Iraq and Somalia (by the way: I tried to open a visa to Iraq twice — in Kiev and in Amman) , this strengthened the choice made. But don’t think that I’m a fan of the hot spots of the planet. Afghanistan is an original country. In a sense, it is a paradise for a photographer. ”

“ What does see in a dream the person sick with a fever, living in ruins of a seventeen-story building, behind the walls of which is a sultry Asian night? Devils roasting sinners in hell? Perhaps, but my dream was different... ”

“ The houses of these people are not like the dwellings of other African tribes: built in the form of a cone, they resemble Hutsul hats... made of clay. Both men and women of the tribe are smear over their body and hair a mixture of ochre, fat and ash to protect themselves from the sun that is too hot in those places. ”

“ It was at this romantic moment that the hostess went out into the yard to feed the chickens. Noticing the loss, she was surprised, instinctively looking around the territory: there have never been thieves in the village. ”

“ In addition to newcomers, three homeless people live here. I spent two nights in their company. One of them, an old man, makes only indistinct sounds — apparently he mute from birth, the other is middle-aged, sullen and taciturn, but the third, the youngest of the station inhabitants, does not look like his colleagues. He gave a short lecture to the newcomer. As a result, I learned that backpack should not be left unattended during sleep, but need embrace tightly with hands sand keep it that way all night under the blanket. ”

“ Only the outer shell is edible — the skin of the caterpillar, the green insides are poisonous: they are squeezed into a special vat to later prepare soup for enemies. Then the caterpillars are boiled in salt water, after which they are dried in the sun. It turns out something like dried mushrooms (in our equivalent) . The product prepared in this way can be stored for months and years. It can be consumed in dried form, added to soup, or nshima snack. Speaking of the latter. Nshima is a kind of unleavened porridge made from corn flour. The national dish of Zambians people. ”

“ But only three or four dozen meters away are canned meat that I took for breakfast. It's good that I was in the zone of visibility of a potential stay of people, and if it were a little further, where on both sides of the river the land is uninhabited? Perhaps they would have found me with a helicopter, but not the fact that they have one. Even so, it will cost me dearly. However, from now on I have no money, no clothes: there is nothing to lose. "It's a pity that there won't be enough time to visit Botswana," I reasoned, trying not to panic... ”

“ Everything that ends well is good The local people call themselves a community. On their return, they gathered a veche. The police returned my things to me, listing each item according to the list: nothing was missing. Then they gave the floor to the rescued one, and I thanked those present.
Support group (on the left is a paramedic, in red — guy, who called for help) Someone suggested making a memorable photo. Everyone enthusiastically supported. Like a zombie, on trembling legs, I perched in the center of the frame. ”

“ One way or another, you can not relax: with a passive lifestyle, can get used to sedentary pastime, and then in the next expedition, whether it is a visit to Africa or the islands of Oceania, will not be easy, because often need to walk up to twenty kilometers a day. ”

“ However, going up to the pigsty, she immediately understood everything and, driving the boar away, took the little thing.
Modern chemistry is capable of miracles: after washing in one of the laundry detergents advertised on TV, the skirt looked even more elegant than it was, and the fragrance emanating from it attracted admirers and suitors. ”

“ The inhabitants of the third world consider a visit to prosperous countries to be something of a symbol of well-being, if one has traveled to those parts, life is a success, while the Germans, French and British can be found in the African wilderness. ”

“ What can happen on the last day of your stay in a foreign land, when you are already at home with one foot? Relaxing from this thought, I headed to the city center and took with me camera, don't care of the safety of the footage. ”

“ The crowd of people in uniform who gathered from all corners "for the performance" was also not strong in languages: no one really knew Russian or English, only the word "Shuravi" (translated from Farsi — "Soviet". — Ed.) sounded several times in their conversation. That's all I understood. I was looked at as an alien, perhaps another comparison would be more correct: that's how they look at a harmless cute old man who raped a flock of sheep. ”

“ Once upon a time a certain leader said that "the most important of the arts is cinema." Now are different times : music is a worthy competitor to cinema.
Waking up in the morning of an ordinary day, outwardly not portending anything bad, the clown noticed that the assistant had disappeared. He hurried to the circus, hoping to find a monkey behind the scenes there. ”

“ The future of the sports club depends on the victory, and not only... "To swim a hundred meters in a pool filled with feces faster than neighbors — that's our main task," — said the mayor of the city. "Practice makes perfect!" ”

“ Almost like a king (Maseru and Semonkong, Lesotho) In the capital of a tiny state, the police station became my home for two nights. The employees received the white visitor kindly, placing in the far corner. The new shift, which appeared the next day, took the return of the "tenant" more strictly, warning that this overnight stay should be the last. About reasons are easy to guess: there is an unspoken ban regarding two overnight stays in one police station, besides, a group of villagers arrived with similar intentions.. ”

“ Having disassembled the souvenirs, the Karamojong people willingly posed in front of the camera: apparently, visiting exotic lovers have not had time to get bored them yet.
"Under the curtain," a decrepit old man, probably the leader of the tribe, came out of the largest hut, the entrance to which was decorated with a goat's skull. ”

“ The boar lay down on the skirt, grunting with pleasure. Of course, the jubilant "hero of the occasion" experienced, to put it mildly, not very pleasant sensations from such an unusual "cavalier", but, as Louis XVI said: "Women's revenge is more sophisticated than men's, and women's logic is generally inexplicable." ”

“ AfterwordAfterword Human needs to believe in something, otherwise life will lose meaning. Since time immemorial, asking this question, people have invented a god for themselves — a being of the highest order, some kind of superman, who invisible for mere mortals. ”