A. A. Milne

“ He's always coming here.
TREMAYNE (turning away and looking into fireplace) . Who is Mr. Baxter?
(BAXTER appears at cupboard doorway. BELINDA hears him and gives a startled look round. She signs to him to go back. BAXTER retreats immediately and closes door.)
BELINDA. Oh, he's a sort of statistician. Isn't that a horrid word to say? So stishany.
TREMAYNE. What does he make statistics about?
BELINDA. Oh (giving a sly look round at cupboard door) , umbrellas and things. Don't let's talk about him.
TREMAYNE. All right, then; (going up to her jealously) who is Mr. Devenish? ”

“ TREMAYNE (bending over her earnestly) . Belinda—
BELINDA (still with her eyes shut) . He's going to propose to me. I can feel it coming.
TREMAYNE (starting back) . Confound it! how many men have proposed to you? ”

“ DEVENISH. A fanciful way of putting it, perhaps. They are none the less for you.
DELIA. Well, it's awfully kind of you. (Puts flowers down. Then she moves up to the cupboard. He follows on her L. and opens the door.) I'm afraid I'm not a very romantic person. (Turning to him in cupboard doorway.) Aunt Belinda does all the romancing in our family.
DEVENISH. Your aunt is a very remarkable woman.
DELIA. She is. Don't you dare to say a word against her. (Takes up a vase from a chair in cupboard and shakes it as if draining it.) ”

“ Devenish, young fellow, when you matched yourself against a man of my repute, when you matched yourself against a man— matched yourself against a man of my repute (crossing towards fireplace)
(BELINDA rises stealthily, takes up her hat and exits through the swing doors and through the garden up R.)
when you matched yourself against a man who has read papers (moving towards centre table) at Soirees of the Royal Statistical Society—" (Looking round the room, he discovers that he is alone. He picks up his hat from the table and jams it down on his head.) ”

“ Good-bye, Robinson. No, don't shake hands. I'm in a hurry. (He looks at his watch again and goes out hurriedly by the door on the R.)
(TREMAYNE sits on settee R. and BAXTER on chair R. of C. table. He puts his hat on the table.)
TREMAYNE. Unusual man, your friend Devenish. I suppose it comes of being a poet.
BAXTER. I have no great liking for Mr. Devenish—
TREMAYNE. Oh, he's all right.
BAXTER. But I am sure that if he is impressed by anything outside himself or his own works, it must be something rather remarkable. Pray tell me of your adventure with the lion. ”

“ Baxter is sufficient justification for its length.
DELIA. But if it annoys me too?
DEVENISH (heroically) . It shall go. (Sits on settee above DELIA.)
(BELINDA enters from up L. with a garden basket supposed to contain cutlets. She crosses the windows at back.)
DELIA (apologetically) . I told you I wasn't a very romantic person, didn't I? (Kindly.) You can always grow it again if you fall in love with somebody else.
DEVENISH. That is cruel of you, Delia. I shall never fall in love again.
(Enter BELINDA through swing doors B.C.)
BELINDA. Why, it's Mr. Devenish! ”

“ DELIA (surprised) . Good gracious! and I didn't know anything about it. (Coming down to R. of table with vase.) But what about poor Mr. Baxter?
DEVENISH (stiffly, crossing over to fireplace, very annoyed) . I must beg that Mr. Baxter's name be kept out of our conversation.
DELIA (going up to table behind Chesterfield up L.) . But I thought Mr. Baxter and you were such friends.
(DELIA takes water carafe from the table and smiles at DEVENISH— which he does not see.)
Do tell me what's happened. (Moving down to R. of table C., she sits and arranges the flowers.) I seem to have lost myself. ”

“ Yes, he is rather odd. (Looking at his watch.) I wonder if I— (To TREMAYNE.) I suppose you won't be— (He stops suddenly. A slight tapping noise comes from the room where they keep umbrellas.)
TREMAYNE. What's that!
(The tapping noise is repeated, a little more loudly this time. DEVENISH moves to end of table.)
DEVENISH. Come in.
(The door opens and BAXTER comes in nervously, holding his bowler hat in his hand. He moves towards the swing doors.)
BAXTER (apologetically) . Oh, I just— (TREMAYNE stands up) —I just— (He goes back again.)
DEVENISH (springing across the room) . Baxter! ”

“ BAXTER (going slowly to fireplace and placing his hat down on urmchair below fireplace) . To resume, then, my narrative. This morning I have heard of a third Mr. Robinson. Whether there is actually any particular fortune attached to the number three I cannot say for certain. It is doubtful whether statistics would be found to support the popular belief. But one likes to flatter oneself that in one's own case it may be true ”

“ There is an inner and an outer front-door, both of which are open. Up C. is a door leading to a small room where hats and coats are kept. A door on the L. leads towards the living-rooms. DEVENISH enters from up L. at back, passes the windows of the inner room and crosses to the porch. He rings the electric bell outside, then enters through the swing doors R.C. BETTY enters R. and moves up at back of settee R. to DEVENISH by the swing doors. He is carrying a large bunch of violets and adopts a very aesthetic attitude. ”

“ She kisses her hand towards the door R. She then rises and crosses below the table C., placing her basket on the L. end of it, to the fireplace. She rings the bell. Then she moves up on the R. side of the Chesterfield to the refectory table and takes off her hat. ”