Anonymous

“ But when seven years, and half seven years, we man and wife had been,
My age came then as near to her’s as eight is to sixteen.
What was each of our ages when married?
20. If 12 oxen will eat 3 acres and one-third of grass in four weeks and 21 oxen will eat 10 acres in 9 weeks—how many oxen will eat 24 acres in 18 weeks, the grass being allowed to grow uniformly? ”

“ Three persons discoursing concerning their ages: says H, “I am 30 years of age;” says K, “I am as old as H, and one-fourth of L;” and says L, “I am as old as you both.” What was the age of each person?
11. What is the difference between twice 8 and 20, and twice 28; as also between twice 5 and 50, and twice 55?
12. A schoolmaster being asked how many scholars he had, said if he had as many more, one-half as many, and one-fourth as many, he should have 99. ”

“ Why is an accepted suitor like a person guilty of a crime? Because he ought to be transported.
45. Send 10 cents to Keystone Book Co., P. O. Box 1634, Philadelphia, Pa., and you will receive 12 new and complete books, entirely different from the set of which this “Nuts to Crack” book is sold with.
46. Why is an avaricious man like one troubled with a bad memory? Because he is always forgetting.
47. What is the best kind of tea? Pacific Tea.
48. Why is a girl not a noun? Because a lass (alas!) is an interjection. ”

“ What is the difference between a schoolmaster and an engine driver? One trains the mind, the other minds the train.
4. Why are railways like laundresses? Because they have “ironed” the world, and occasionally done a little mangling. ”

“ It takes a Japanese girl thirteen hours to dress for a party.
Sweetening one’s coffee is the first stirring event of the day.
[16]
Free! We will send you an elegant large magazine 6 months, free, if you send 10 cents to have your name and address inserted in our Directory, which goes to over 1000 publishers, importers, etc., who will send you samples of new goods, latest books, newspapers, catalogues, etc. You will get a big mail daily. All at a cost of 10 cents. ”

“ The letter D is truly an old salt—been following the C for years.
“How to get fat”—Go to the butcher shop and purchase it by the pound.
The expense of evening walks is diminished now that ice cream has been called in.
A classical farmer in Burlington Township names all his pigs after the Greek roots.
[15]
Approaching a Crisis—Walking toward a restless girl baby.
A Boston girl visiting in Danbury claims to wear limbbings during severe weather.
Blessed is the man who loveth his wife’s relations; and not only blessed, but also scarce. ”

“ Send 12 cents to the firm from whom you received this book, and get the Marvelous Package of Games, including checkers, dominoes, authors, etc. Biggest bargain lot of Games ever offered.
[12]
Magic Age Table.
Key To Table.—Add together the figures at the top of each column in which the age is found and the sum will be the age sought. Example: Hand [13] the table to a lady and request her to tell you in which column or columns her age is found ”

“ Send 12 cents in stamps and we will surprise and delight you. Address: W. S. Everett & Co., Lynn, Mass.
Flats are growing popular in New York. New York “flats” are unpopular the country over.
We fear the Montreal courts will hold that the matter of compulsory vaccination is ultra virus.
It is generally when you are not looking out for a woman that you get on her trail.
The best telephone bell—The hello girl at the other end of the line.
The poetry of motion—A picnic girl with a bug down her back. ”