Clarence Day, Jr.

“ The visitor's name was Angelica. Where had I heard—oh, yes, Niblo and Hattie had been speaking of her only a few days before, and when Hattie had said, "Do you think she and Teapot would enjoy each other?" my brother had rejoined, "Indeed, she wouldn't." She had an exquisite voice. I peered around the corner—by George, a dazzler! I ducked back. "Oh, Hattie," she gasped, "I think I saw something moving over there on the rug."
Hattie got up, replying, "I certainly smell something, my dear, and I'm afraid it's a cigarette. Oh! Oh, my heavens! There's a man here! Who—why, it's you again, Teapot. ”

“ You are not a policeman, remember; you're a common, ordinary citizen, like anybody else."
"I am not, then. I am no citizen at all, but a keeper, a regular keeper; it's a park official I am—"
"An official? You're a camel-nursemaid, man—you herd apes, valet parrots—" It was loutish of me to bandy epithets, but that is what I did.
"And what are you?" he retorted, pointing to the toy. "Ain't it you who are the zoo-man of us all with a menagerie like that?" ”

“ I remarked to my nephew. "These artificial objects must stand by one another."
"There's not a tin stump in this park," he rumbled on. "All earthenware. They make 'em now in the works by the upper cross-cut." His glance wandered to Matthew. "That boy has the look, of one that was lost here just now. By a party in a high hat, as it might be yourself, only lean where you're fat he was, and a hairier face on him."
I am not fat. A hundred and seventy or eighty pounds for a fellow of my height isn't fat. There was no point, however, in going into this with the keeper. ”

“ The man's dangerous. Hide up-stairs; watch him; don't let him see you. He'll get tired soon and go. When he does, come and tell me."
"Oh, jiminy! Would he 'rest you if he found you, Teapot?"
"Arrest me? Was it I who beat him?"
Matthew turned a sort of pasty color. "You told me to," he wailed.
"Hush! he will hear you," I said. "'Obliteration,' remember. Run, run."
Matthew fled. I took up the telephone. It had occurred to me that even if the keeper didn't go, I had better decamp: Niblo might come home and get talking with him. In order to run the blockade, though, I needed a motor. ”

“ In less than ten minutes we were well out of the park, entering that narrow, dirty street that leads to the car-line; and in two minutes more we'd found the toy-shop.
Matthew said, unimaginatively, that he wanted a baseball. A young salesman limped forward. "I wish to buy a toy for a commonplace child," I told him; "the son of kind but jog-trot parents. What can you suggest?" ”

“ I sighed; "poor Niblo. That call was from Niblo, Hattie. As a direct result of his interfering with me and trying to take Matthew out himself to-day he has thrown the whole park into confusion, and caused the arrest of two men. I hope this will be a lesson to you, Hattie. I am the only fit person to go out with my nephew." ”

“ She wants nobody but herself to help my nephew.
"I am doing the two sums for a Burmese geologist," I ventured. "A charming and intelligent man I met at the club who takes a great interest in"— (I consulted the paper) —"the cost of apples. And the map of Australia," I proceeded, seeing that she didn't mean to introduce me to her guest, "I am doing for Angelica." I held it out to her with a bow.
The lovely stranger's smile of amusement stiffened for an instant, then returned. "Thank you so much," she replied, collectedly.
"Upon my word," began Hattie, becoming confused ”

“ Yes, sir. Er—a nice rubber ball, perhaps?"
"No! not a ball. You get the wrong idea. I wish to counteract, not cater to, his failings. Take a look at him, please. I want something to wake up the little beast." ”

“ They are taking the man who looks like Ned to a cell and he is yelling about it quite a lot. And Ned is stuttering like everything to the lieutenant. He keeps writing the words 'Not guilty' on a pad he's got, and sticking it under people's noses. ”

“ Here to the police-station. And I find they have already made two arrests. One is Ned Ktteridge—he has just been brought in—all mussed up; the other man—hallo?—I say, the other man looks something like him, only more battered. They are each charged with what's-its-name—assault—and resisting arrest, and they're supposed to be accomplices of the kidnapper. I knew Kitteridge drank, but I little thought he could descend to this. ”

“ A taxi wouldn't do—the driver might be stupid or get frightened. I called up the club. E. K. White? He was out. Mr. Levellier? Out, too. Mr. Goadby? Goadby was there, but, after being waked up and brought to the instrument, said no, he hadn't his motor with him. He further said, rather crossly, no, he could not go and get it, adding (and I think he lied) that it was being repaired. "I must find some one with a motor," I explained. Well, Kitteridge was there. And presently Kitteridge's voice was stammering, why yes, indeed, old m-man, he would be gug-gug-glad to call and g-get me ”